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An NSB Wedding

Page 18

by Alyson Santos


  And you wait for the shadow of a memory

  Here’s your sign, you barely saw me leave

  A picture’s worth a thousand words

  Let’s leave them as memories…

  TRACING HOLLAND

  NSB #2 explores Luke, Holland, Wes, Jesse, Callie, and Casey’s stories.

  Synopsis:

  Second chances are hard enough when you deserve them. Then there are the ones you don’t.

  Callie asked if I was ready. And that’s the question, isn’t it? Ready for what? The spotlight? The music? Or ready for life. Ready to face the reality that what I was is going to attack the very fabric of who I am now. No one knows I’m a different person. Well, no one except the two most important people in my life, which is why there’s a remote chance I might actually pull off the comeback I never saw coming.

  Then again, that was before Holland Drake crashed into my life. I didn’t ask for her. Heaven knows she didn’t ask for me. But sometimes it’s not about what makes sense; it’s about accepting that not everything will. It’s learning you have a choice when it feels like you don’t. It’s believing even the worst past can still have a future.

  And sometimes it’s none of that. Sometimes it’s survival. A blind fight through the pain as you cling to any shred of hope you can find. And it’s those moments, those desperate pleas into the darkness for a flicker of light, when you have no choice but to confront the blessing that often feels like a curse:

  You’re still alive. You’re still significant.

  You’re once again Luke Craven, frontman for Night Shifts Black.

  “Metamorphosis”

  Crawl in, crawl out

  Terrified but moving now

  Claw up, slide down

  There’s no going back, can’t go back

  Break down, break out

  Break down, break out

  Brand new day feast on the dark

  Shuttered light, reluctant spark

  Growing dawn and setting sun

  Fight song of the desperate one.

  Cocoon shredding

  Past, heading straight for the wall

  No more regretting, just breathing

  Underwater

  Too late to choose, too far to fall

  Nowhere to go but on

  No more excuses, no denial

  No holding on to lost time

  Break out, I’m breaking out

  Brand new day release the dark

  A new light, the smallest spark

  Growing dawn and setting sun

  Fight song of the desperate one.

  Break it down, break it

  Breaking out, just break it, break it

  “Acrobat”

  Flying high as you watch me fall.

  Twisting in your beautiful lies, bravo.

  Hats off to your elegant show.

  Take a bow, my acrobat.

  You’ve won the crowd, it’s yours now, sweet acrobat.

  “Perfect Storm”

  You and me, babe, a tidal wave I never saw coming.

  You and me, and that hurricane we can’t outrun.

  It shouldn’t have been, but there’s no fight against the wind.

  It all blew in, too fast, too hard, the Perfect Storm.

  You and me, babe, still afraid but locked into fate.

  You and me, losing all the reasons to run.

  Oh sweet ecstasy of defeat, forgive me now.

  It all blew in, too hard, too fast, the Perfect Storm.

  And I will fight through the waves

  To get to you, to get to you

  And I will scream through the dark

  Against the lies, against the lies that overtake me.

  “The Wanderer”

  Guide me toward the light, I swear I’ll follow.

  Forgive me for the man I am.

  Fight the hollow ghost I carry.

  I’ve learned to hide the tears,

  Though they still break me.

  Search for me, the broken wanderer

  Find me, deep within my own void

  Save me, from my burning lies

  Don’t believe what I am

  I’m a fallen angel,

  The disease you can’t understand

  I’m the reason you’ve lost faith, your sin

  But I’m a liar, don’t believe me, please don’t believe me

  Guide me toward the light, I swear I’ll follow

  Hold me til the hollowness is gone

  These tears mean nothing in the darkness

  Don’t believe what I am.

  I need you to believe when I can’t

  That I’m more, more than I am.

  “Nowhere Man”

  I’m Nowhere Man in nowhere spaces

  Everywhere a thousand faces, places spill from beneath the wreckage

  Oh it’s over now

  Oh oh it’s over

  I’m Forgotten Man in endless races

  Chasing air with futile paces, traces of the craft that made us

  Oh it’s over now

  Oh oh it’s over

  You say you see me, but it’s just my shadow

  I’m not waiting, just fading past the time you remember

  I’m Forgotten Man, Nowhere Man

  Light a candle before I’m gone.

  I’ll run this race, it’s still my anthem

  Past the shame, the pain is where I fight now

  I’m a blaze, a fire, a final hour

  Oh it’s not over

  Oh oh it’s not

  It’s never over

  VIPER

  NSB #3 explores Wes, Holland, and Luke’s stories.

  Synopsis:

  It’s not easy being the bad guy.

  Yeah, that’s a lie. It’s pretty damn simple. You act and you own it. You sell your soul to protect those you love and screw the rest.

  It’s the restraint that’s hard. The demons that poke at your trigger, burn in your gut—just waiting for a second of freedom to unleash the fire in your soul.

  Call me a villain. Call me whatever helps you sleep at night and feel good about the black and white of love. But watch your back because I don’t care. Until I do.

  And then I implode.

  “Unraveling”

  Fire of mine, ashes of regret

  Redeem the manic truth.

  Proving scars in vain effect

  With no doubts left to lose.

  Seven scars from timid youth—six I’ve left undone.

  Since here I am unraveling

  And it only took the one.

  “Sweetest Death”

  Hell’s fire and Hades’ desire, have nothing on you, babe.

  Nothing on you.

  Reigning kings tossed worthless rings with less hunger than my desperate plunder for your treasure.

  Better, you tell me no, and save my soul, before your charm, disarms all that I am.

  Breathe my last, through your lungs.

  The sweetest death.

  “Session in Progress”

  Session in progress

  The hardest journey we take

  Raise a glass to the past, it’s the future we break

  If all goes well or damns you to hell, it’s your story to own

  So tell if you dare, to care about your mess, in progress.

  “Viper Rising”

  Coil of strength wound tight

  to hide

  to lie

  to wither and writhe

  In its prison it cries, ‘Coil of rage!’

  Dirty secrets revealed

  The bed

  I made

  Was never the place

  To trap this broken soul, It’s over!

  Stand back, you’re gonna want to stand back

  I’m breaking free to strike

  Fangs bared, spring out, out

  Of hell, don’t tell

  Me what I am

  I’m not, not your pet

  I’m your hidden regret

>   So hear me, you should fucking fear me!

  As I rise

  “Whiskey Theater”

  Her darkness is mine

  Desperate to hide,

  In the lie of

  Breathing hard.

  Igniting skin, she sins in the betrayal of lust

  She just needs a sign that she’s alive and

  Free to fly.

  “Bloody Heart”

  Bloodshot eyes scratch through the veil and find you, find you

  Truth locked beyond my reach

  You flood in, addictive fangs, sink deep

  So deep I bled

  For you,

  Fled, for you

  Chased the moon, I died and came back for you

  Wrapped in you

  Trapped trapped, before I knew

  How to survive the loss

  When you find me too, those hidden parts

  I blocked, beyond your reach

  Your perfection is

  My rejection, burns

  Hot through the bloody heart you own

  Until the beat, beat, beat

  Stops.

  LIMELIGHT

  NSB #4 explores Jesse and Luke’s stories.

  Synopsis:

  I’m unpredictable.

  A genius, an underachiever.

  I’m the song, the voice, the passion, the pain.

  I am failure.

  I do music because it’s what I am, but sometimes that’s not enough.

  A slave to my nature, I wait for it to show mercy and drop a gift in my lap.

  Because the music chose me.

  I’m its victim not its gift.

  She destroyed my career.

  Ruined my life.

  Pushed me from the shadows and exposed my lies.

  She’s the fire that destroys lesser men,

  and now her flames are aimed at me.

  She loves to watch me burn,

  but the part we never saw coming?

  Sometimes it takes a fire to ignite a spark

  And slay the darkness.

  “Nothing I Want’

  Stop beggin’ for the hunt, babe. You’ve got nothing I want. Hey—

  Keep checkin’ for clues, cuz I refuse your bait.

  Just wait. Your games were a mistake. Hey—

  Maybe your lies work on other guys but this one’s checking out.

  You’ve got nothing I want.

  Nothing, no, no, nothing I want.

  “Jonas”

  Little light of mine. Flicker, flicker burn, until I learn to slay the ghost of hope, the fucking joke you’ve made of me.

  Little friend of mine. Don’t be kind when you grind our past into lasting crimes that might just be the end of me.

  Traitor. Fool me once.

  Traitor. Fool me twice.

  That knife you hold is so damn pretty.

  How’s it look in my back? Hey hey

  My reaction time is lacking

  No backtracking now that you’ve got me on the prowl

  Hey hey

  I’m looking at you, traitor, faker, promise-breaker,

  Re-arranger of the lies we’ve tried to bury

  Hey hey

  I’m looking at you, pretender, mender, truth-blender

  Defender of the game I thought we ended

  Yeah, yeah, I’m looking at you

  “Candlelight”

  Another night in the candlelight

  Not bright enough to see my scars, just enough to

  Fight, Fight

  Burn out

  Fade out

  Cry out against demon screams

  Broken dreams

  All that keeps me breathing in the dark

  Hold tight tight

  Just a spark.

  Another night.

  It’ll be all right.

  in the candlelight.

  “Agitator”

  Overrated, garage-band wasted, talent-jaded

  They said

  Destined for rejection, binding imperfections, nothing but objections

  They said, they said

  Attractive fraud, where’s your army now to defend the legend that only exists in

  Could have beens

  Would have beens

  Should have been vapors assaulted by the wind

  Attractive fraud, where’s your army now?

  Could have been,

  Would have been,

  Should, should, should have been

  Too hazy for a spotlight

  They said

  Couldn’t be

  Shouldn’t be

  Would, would, wouldn’t be if not for helping hands that cower under streetlights

  You’re special she said

  A fucking god beneath the fraud she said

  Could be

  Should be

  Won’t be

  Unless she collects

  the lies she tells

  I’m no god, just a piece of hell

  Here to tell you how it is

  That I could be, should be.

  And I will.

  “Philadelphia”

  Rewind back to the start

  And your heart would still be too big for me

  Love is a game

  For some a lie

  For you an epic tie that bound you

  To the one who cries

  When the lights go out

  When the chill seeps down

  Through cracks you always mended

  Arms that braved the fiercest storms

  Swarmed, warmed a broken boy

  Who never had a chance

  To dance with fate

  Who lived afraid of himself

  That’s love in a city of demons

  A pity they never saw you coming

  Rewind back to the day

  A superhero roared,

  “It’s okay

  To fly, to dream, to spread broken wings

  To scale a mountain in spite of it all.”

  “Brother,” he said.

  “I’ll catch you when you fall.”

  AN NSB WEDDING

  NSB #5 conclude’s the series with Casey and Callie’s stories (along with the rest of the NSB gang).

  Synopsis:

  They say every happily ever after needs a wedding. Heaven knows after the hell we’ve survived, we deserve the mother of all HEAs. All the pieces are in place. All the players, assembled. The Wedding of the Century is locked and loaded.

  Too bad nothing’s fair in love, rock, and wedding planning.

  Too bad sometimes epic happiness requires an epic fail.

  Guess we should have seen it coming.

  Did we expect anything less from AN NSB WEDDING?

  “Can It Be Me?”

  Words and Music by Jon Meckes

  Used with permission

  (Also a recorded song)

  I can only dream of ending all the waiting

  Praying that I’ll see you again

  Traveling the world I’ve seen so many others

  But I can’t keep from thinking of you

  But I still walk alone

  Should I just move along

  Since I’m far away do you look for someone closer

  Maybe one to sweep you away

  Someone who can hold you

  Like I’ve always wanted to

  Oh how I wish that I was there

  But I still walk alone

  Should I just move along

  Only time will tell

  If I can be the one inside your dreams

  Can it be me?

  I don’t mean to scare you

  I just need to hear you

  Tell me that there’s nothing for me to fear

  But I still walk alone

  Should I just move along

  Only time will tell

  If I can be the one inside your dreams

  Can it be me?

  I have so many questions

  That need to stay unanswered

>   How will I know the time is right

  But I still walk alone

  Should I just move along

  Only time will tell

  If I can be the one inside your dreams

  Can it be me?

  I hate to have suspicions

  It’s hard when there’s a distance

  Like the one that’s keeping us apart

  So if you feel the same way

  Come on out and tell me

  I would love to only wait for you.

  “Always”

  Words and music by Jon Meckes

  Used with permission

  (Also a recorded song)

  It’s time to tell you how I feel

  I know you’ve been waiting

  I know you’ve been wondering when

 

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