by Huss, JA
Her blonde hair is long and straight. And every now and then she looks over her shoulder with a smile, checking to see if we’re still following her.
We are.
Lars is in front. Then Ax. Then me.
But we do not rush to catch up. We let her slip in and out of view. Sometimes we are so far behind her, she leans against a tree to wait for us.
We end up in a clearing next to a frozen stream. There is an odd assortment of large boulders in the middle that we like to sit on.
We have eaten dinners out here. We have looked at the stars out here. She has spent entire autumn afternoons sitting on the top of the tallest boulder doing Ax’s homework while we smoked out and drank out here.
We didn’t offer her any. Ever. And she never asked. She just did what we told her to do. She always just… followed directions. Always intent on being the good girl we imagined her to be. A fantasy, really.
But this is New Year’s Eve so maybe we’ll let her partake.
Then again, maybe not.
Lars and Ax follow her. They climb up the rocks and sit down on either side, Lars tugging on the many, many fucking buttons holding that coat together while Ax kisses her.
I like watching Ax kiss girls. He puts his fucking heart into it. And I don’t often get to see Ax’s heart.
I don’t join them.
There’s another rock just on the edge of the clearing. That’s where I sit.
Watching.
I like to watch Lars finger her.
I like to watch the way Cadee’s face changes when he does that.
I like to see her come.
When we’re all together like this, I like to watch.
Because if I’m going to have her, I want her all to myself.
We do that in secret because she’s not mine. She belongs to no one. She is the girl in the woods. If anything, she belongs to the school. She belongs to High Court.
But I hate watching her with them.
I want to punish her every time Ax’s tongue slips inside her mouth.
I want to make her pay every time Lars slides his fingers between her legs.
I snap out of the memory and realize all the men in the room are intently focused on Cadee, Lars, and Ax at my feet.
Ax is kissing her. And his kisses are so much sexier now than they used to be. I get lost in it for a moment just watching his tongue caress Cadee. Her eyes are closed and she’s moaning into him.
But that’s because Lars has his hand underneath her nightgown between her legs. They are both squatting down next to Cadee. And her hands are roaming over their bodies.
“That’s enough,” I say. It’s not loud. Hell, it’s barely more than a whisper. But all eyes in the room are suddenly on me.
Except Cadee’s. She looks down, like she’s wallowing in shame.
I pause again, trying to piece together her game.
Then wonder… is she still playing? Or is this real?
“Get up,” I say. “Stand up.”
All three of them do this. Lars and Ax both go back to their position on either side of me. Cadee still won’t look me in the face.
And this is starting to piss me off. “Look at me.”
She does, but she takes her time. And while I wait, her words echo in my head. I’m not a good girl, my king. I’m very, very bad.
“You are a filthy Fuckling, Cadee Hunter.” I point to my knee. “Lie down the way I taught you to take your punishment.” Then I look at Jack. He is so focused on Cadee as she places herself across my lap with my knee between her legs that it takes him several seconds to realize I’m waiting for his attention. Finally, his gaze migrates up to meet mine. Then he nods his approval.
He warned me earlier that this ritual was a very big deal. He didn’t fully explain that, but he did say that the members in the room will vote on our performance before they leave. Jack didn’t give me any directions other than that. But it seems whatever his standards were, we’ve met them.
“Lars,” I say, not even looking at him. “Pull her panties down to the middle of her thighs.”
He does this without question. Several of the men in the room are starting to breathe heavier now that they have an unobstructed view of her ass.
This pisses me off even more than it does when Lars and Ax have their turn with Cadee because these men are no one to her. They are not part of our secret affair. They were never in the woods with us.
But I’m here to give them a show so that’s what I’m gonna do.
“Ax. Put your hand on her back and hold her down.” I look up at him. “I don’t care how fucking hard she struggles, you do not let her up. Do you understand me?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Your fucking wish is my command, right?”
“Right,” I agree. I lean into Cadee’s neck and say, “You can hate me for this if you want, but you started it.”
And then my hand comes down so hard on her ass, she yelps loud enough to startle the man closest to me.
Ax holds her down and I smack her again. And again. And again.
And then I stop and rub her ass, just the way I did that one time when we were still playing.
We’re not playing now.
She is sobbing hysterically two smacks later.
But when I direct Lars to check between her legs, his fingers come back wet.
I lean down into her neck again. But this time I don’t whisper. “You know what to do now, Cadee. I want you to come on my knee. And I want you to come hard.”
She hesitates.
Ax bends down, grabs her hair with both hands, and kisses her. I hear him whisper, “I’ll help you.”
Then Lars slips his fingers between her legs and says, “I’ll help you too.”
And I want to kill. Everyone.
But I can’t.
Because this is my game and they’re all just playing along.
I smack her again. Her cheeks are bright red. But she begins to move her hips across my knee.
I grit my teeth the whole time. And when Cadee Hunter comes all over my pants I am nothing but rage.
I throw her off me and she stumbles backward, falling on her bruised ass, squealing from the pain.
Then I point to Jack. “Go ahead. Jerk off if you want. I’ll wait.” I stare at him with narrowed eyes, daring him to take me up on that offer.
No one moves.
“Cadee.”
Her head slowly lifts up but she does not look at me.
“Come back over here. We’re not done yet.”
I reach for the bright blue Tiffany bag next to the throne while Cadee crawls back up to her velvet cushion and settles with her hands on her thighs and her head bowed.
I offer the gift to her. She takes it without a word. Pulls the tissue paper out of the bag and holds the square box in her hands.
I think I see a smile.
Tiffany. I mean, it’s not gonna make up for that shit show I just officiated, but it’s not bad, either.
At least that’s what I think. And then she opens the box and just stares dumbly down at the contents.
The collar is the exact same one that Jack put on Elizabeth at the harvest ritual. Hard, cold metal with no decorations.
I look over at him and he’s smiling. “Put it on her, Christopher. We’ve all got plans tonight. And your show was good, I’ll give you that, but we still need to vote.”
I clench my jaw and take the collar from Cadee’s hands. Lars pulls her to her feet and turns her around so her back is to me. Ax lifts up her hair to reveal her neck.
I place the collar around her neck, but the clamping mechanism barely reaches. I have to pull it quite hard to get the collar to lock in place.
Cadee gasps, then coughs, as her airway is slightly restricted.
Then I say, “Cadee Hunter, you belong to this collar now. You are its slave.”
Jack starts to clap. A slow clap at first. Then others join in and it turns into applause.
Leela appears from�
� somewhere. She lifts Cadee to her feet, covers her back up with the robe, and leads her out of the chapel.
Cadee is crying.
Hard.
And gasping for breath.
I want to go to her, but Jack pulls me back. “You will not see her tonight. Do you understand? She is not your wife, Cooper. She is your slave.”
“What happened to all those pretty words like ‘offering’ and ‘legacy?’”
Jack grins at me. “Just appearances, brother. This time next year Cadee Hunter will be pushing out a baby. Let’s all hope for a girl.” He turns to the men behind him. “Right? Girls!” He laughs and they laugh with him. “They make the world go round.” Then he turns back to me. “She is property, Cooper. She was born property. You had better come to terms with that, brother. We all have our parts to play. And you will play yours. Because if you don’t you will lose everything, Cooper. And I know you think you’re ready to walk away. But ask yourself this one question. Why are you still here?”
I don’t say anything. Obviously.
“Yeah,” Jack says, nodding his head. “And you can bet your ass I have not forgotten how badly you failed the last test. You did well this time. But there are more, Cooper. There will always be more tests. This will not be your last final exam.”
Again, I say nothing.
Jack pats me on the back. “Go eat dinner. Relax. Get drunk with your buddies. You owe them big.” He leans in for the ‘big’ part. “Because we’ve seen a million spankings, Cooper. But enlisting your best friends? Now that was clever. Don’t get me wrong. You’re a huge asshole for doing that and she will never look at you the same again. But it impressed the fuck out of us.”
“Come on,” Ax says, pulling on my arm. “Let’s go.”
I walk with him, but when I realize Lars isn’t coming with us, I stop and stare at him. “Really, Lars? Really?”
He just shrugs. And then he turns his back to me.
Ax pushes me to keep walking. Then he takes up the lead and carefully weaves a path through the house that avoids the front rooms where more people are gathered. The fathers and sometimes grandfathers of the men we just left. And their wives. If they’re still alive.
“I gotta see Cadee, Ax. I’m not leaving her like that.”
“You should just…” He sighs. “Let her be tonight.”
“It’s Christmas Eve. I just…” But I can’t go there. “And I put a collar on her. She can barely fucking breathe in that thing. And I have a real fucking gift too! I got her a ring. This is not how this night ends.”
“This is how the night ends. Jack warned you, Cooper. We’re too far into this to fuck it up now.” He stops at the stairs that lead to my room. “You’re not going to see her tonight. You give her the gift tomorrow.” He looks over his shoulder. “I can’t stay here. My father is in the front room.”
“Where are you going tonight?”
“The inn. I’ll be fine. Valentina is gonna come by later and hang out with me.”
“I can come.”
He grabs my shoulders and shakes me. “Cooper, wake up. What did I just say? We’re practically there, dude. Just. Fucking. Chill.”
I sigh. “Fine. But I’m coming to see you tomorrow.”
“No,” Ax says. “You’re not. You’re not ever coming back to the inn. Stay the fuck away. I got this. I promise.”
He stares into my eyes until I nod. Then he looks over his shoulder, claps me on the back, and says, “Merry fucking Christmas.”
Then he weaves his way back through the house and disappears.
I go upstairs, flick on my light, and find my father sitting in a chair on the far side of the living room area.
“What the fuck did I do now?”
He gets to his feet and smiles. “Don’t worry. I’m not staying. I just wanted to check and see how things went.”
“How things… went?”
“Did they vote?”
“I think they’re doing that now. Why?”
“Did she cry?”
“Cry? Ummm, I guess you could call it crying. Yeah. She cried.”
He nods. Breathes out. “OK.” And then he heads for the door.
“OK? That’s it?”
He stops at the door, then looks over his shoulder at me. “Merry Christmas, Cooper.” And then he walks through and disappears down the stairs.
Did she cry? What kind of question is that?
This whole fucking place is sick. I don’t want to do it anymore.
I flip the lights off, walk over to the window, and look down. Cadee’s room is right below mine, so I search the snow for traces of light. Something that will let me know if she’s in bed or still awake and talking to Leela.
It looks dark.
I creep down the stairs and stalk the hallway like a criminal until I catch Leela’s voice in the front rooms. Laughing and joking like she didn’t just send an eighteen-year-old-girl into a lion’s den of kings to be eaten like lunch.
Then I head down Cadee’s hallway, look over my shoulder once, and then enter her room without knocking.
It’s dark. Very dark.
“Cadee?” Covers rustle and I feel around until I find a small table lamp. I flick it on. She’s in bed with her back to me. “Cadee? Are you awake?”
She does not answer me. But I know she’s not asleep. Her body is too tense.
I sit down on the bed and that one night last summer comes back to me. That night she got high with Mona. She was happy, and joking, and numb. And then she pulled me closer to her. Hooked her finger around my belt loop and asked me to get closer. To hold her until she fell asleep.
That’s all I want. That’s it. Just… calm moments with this girl. I’m tired of thinking about this place and none of what’s happening here is worth any amount of money.
I am such a hypocrite because I betrayed her the very next day when I sold her in the auction.
To Dante.
Fucking Dante. Where the hell is that asshole? I have tried to make contact with him so many times and he just ignores me.
“What do you want, Cooper?”
Shit, I almost forgot what I was doing. “I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re OK.”
She turns and shows me her face. I don’t know what I was expecting. Red eyes, maybe. Sniffly nose. But she is not crying. Her eyes are not red and her nose is not running.
I let out a long breath. “I’m sorry. I really am. I have a real present for you, ya know. I didn’t choose—” I stop talking because I look down at the collar and see that the reason she’s probably not crying is because it’s so tight it’s pinching her skin. It might choke her if she had to take in too much air at once, which means… she can’t cry. Even if she wanted to.
“Oh, fuck. Cadee.” I reach for the collar but she puts up her hand and blocks me.
“Don’t touch me.”
“What?”
“Do not. Touch me.”
“Cadee. Come on.” I lie down next to her. Try to pull her close. “I’ll hold you, OK? Until you go to sleep. I’m so fucking sorry.” I lean in and kiss her throat just below the collar.
She hisses in a breath, then she says, “Sausage.”
I think I stop breathing. “What?”
“I said… sausage.”
“Cadee.”
“Sausage.” She says it again. Firmer. Louder. “Sausage!” She yells it. “Sausage! Sausage! Sausage!”
I jump out of her bed and cross the room. “Jesus Christ. Shut the fuck up! I’m not supposed to be here.”
“That’s right, Cooper. You’re not supposed to be here. So get the fuck out of my room.”
Footsteps in the hallway. Coming quickly. I have no other choice, so I leave through the patio door. I barely get the door closed behind me before the other door opens and I hear Leela’s voice asking Cadee if she’s OK.
I turn towards the back of the house and then notice one of Mona’s meatheads coming towards me wearing… “Dude, what the fuc
k are you wearing?”
It’s a Christmas sweater. Yellow, with a classic red pick-up truck in yarn relief on the front. I think it actually has sequins.
The meatheads don’t talk. At least not to me. I’ve never seen them talk to Mona, either. But I do recall a few of them talking to some of the kids in rush last summer.
This one does not talk. He hands me a card.
I take it. “What’s this?”
Meathead says nothing.
So I open it. It says, I have a present for you. Please join me for a drink. Mona.
I look back up at the meathead. “My girlfriend just safeworded me when I tried to hold her.” I say this like this man is supposed to have an opinion on the matter.
He shrugs. Because of course, he doesn’t. And then turns around and leads the way.
I have never been inside Mona’s house at Christmas. In fact, up until last summer, I had never been in Mona’s house. Strange, really, since she’s been my neighbor her whole life. But it’s very tastefully decorated. Like those special Christmas shows they have at the White House.
When I walk into the great room, I see all her other bodyguards are also wearing the ugly Christmas sweater. They are lined up on the far side of the room, each of them holding a silver tray. Several of the trays hold elaborately decorated Christmas cookies, but some have a meat and cheese spread, and then others just have an assortment of booze.
“What the fuck is happening here?”
Mona turns. She’s very Jackie O these days. Long gone are her edgy outfits and just-fucked hair. Now she’s all tailored and sleek. Tonight’s dress is tight and red, but somehow not slutty. “What’s going on with what?”
I point at the bodyguards. “The fugly sweaters.”
“It’s Christmas Eve, Cooper. Every family has an ugly sweater contest at Christmas. It’s tradition.”
“First of all, no, they don’t, and no, it’s not. Second, you’re not wearing one. How’s that fair?”
“I’m the judge, obviously. And don’t ruin their good time with your pissy attitude. They train all year for this night.”