"So you think it's okay to consider Logan as a possible husband?"
Cassie smiled kindly. "I think it's more than okay, Martha. Sometimes you have to learn to move on; you need to trust and forgive."
Martha nodded slowly, and considered her sister's words. Of course Cassie was right. If that was the case, why did Martha feel that hard knot of nerves in the pit of her stomach? Why were her hands trembling ever so slightly at the thought of forgiving Logan?
Cassie took Martha's quivering hands. "I can see you're excited. That's only natural. When does he want an answer by?"
Martha felt her throat tighten again. "As soon as possible," she said, forcing the words out.
"The decision is yours and yours alone, Martha. I've told you what I think."
Martha took some time to consider, and paused before speaking again. She straightened and took a deep breath. "I think I may marry him," she said, eventually.
"Oh my dear, I am so happy for you," Cassie said, hugging Martha. The warmth of her sister's embrace was in stark contrast to the chill that Martha felt inside. She had spoken the words which would decide her destiny; she'd made a choice and she wasn't sure that the choice she had made was the right one, or even one that she could follow through on.
Logan would be her husband. Martha would become a rancher's wife. Doubts and fears assailed her in that moment as her sister embraced her, trying to assure Martha that she was making the right decision.
In becoming Logan's wife Martha would be going a long way to relieving Cassie and Ethan of the burden of her presence in the house; in agreeing to marriage, Martha would be able to devote more time to finding a husband for Rachel. Only once that had been done would Cassie and Ethan be free to enjoy their life as a family. Their future newborn would get the best possible start in life.
Sacrifices had to be made. Even if they involved agreeing to a marriage in name only, to a man who had previously thrown her over. Put like that, Martha could hardly believe it. She only hoped that the changes she had seen in Logan were real, and were ones that she could depend upon.
Martha had made her mind up; she would marry Logan.
It seemed incredible to her that she could even contemplate such a thing, so quickly. She recalled the bride she had seen in town on the visit to the mercantile with Rachel. The expression on Martha's face would be the same as the one on that bride's face; a mixture of stunned surprise, shock and reticence all covered over by a look of blind hope.
Despite the past hurt; the years apart; the unanswered questions; in spite of the doubts and worries she harbored; she supposed that every bride felt the same after deciding for a husband. These were such unusual circumstances, but the more she thought about it, the more it seemed the right thing to do.
Once she had made the decision, a kind of calm descended upon her. Her talk with Cassie had convinced her it was the best choice. She trusted Cassie's judgment. Her sister had never let her down. If Cassie thought that marriage to Logan would work out, then it gave Martha a strong sense of reassurance that she might just be doing the right thing after all.
Later, it was Cassie who took the good news to Hettie, who in turn communicated Martha's decision to Logan. By all accounts Hettie was not only pleased, but already prepared for the wedding. Trust her to have predicted the outcome, thought Martha.
The Reverend Baxter had been given notice, and the church was being made ready for the happy couple.
When Ethan heard about it all, he was dumbstruck. He was amazed that a visit to buy a milk cow had turned out to be the prelude to a wedding.
Rachel screamed with delight when Martha told her about the wedding, then frowned when she found out who the groom was. It took Martha a long time to explain to Rachel just why it was the best thing. By the end of their conversation Martha wasn't sure that Rachel was convinced. Rachel complained that she could recall just what a rat Logan had been walking out on Martha before. She warned Martha there was nothing stopping him doing it again.
Martha did all she could to calm Rachel's fears, but nothing she could say would prevent Rachel from warning Martha to think twice.
The truth was, Martha was having second thoughts. The nights were long as she lay thinking through all the possible consequences of her decision.
She thought about what it would be like after the wedding. Once she had moved in to live with her new husband, what would life be like on the ranch? It seemed a world away from anything she could ever have dreamed for herself. There would be so much to learn; new people to get to know; new problems to deal with.
And Logan. What about him? He seemed, somehow, different. Sure, she recognized him; saw in him the man from the East; the man from her past.
There was, undoubtedly, something new in him. He had a firmness and decisiveness about him which had not been there before. Martha wondered if she could live with Logan, knowing that he had changed so much.
It would be a more prosperous existence, that was for sure. Not that money and material things were Martha's priorities. She valued character and integrity above crude matters of commerce. However, after the experience of the past months, she was pragmatic about the importance of being able to provide for your family. The West was unforgiving in that respect, and Martha had learned that working hard meant you could keep a roof over your children's heads and food on the family's table.
Truth be told, there was a part of her which found the new Logan exciting, intriguing, even attractive. When she considered that some more, and thought about what that attraction would inevitably lead to, she quickly moved her attention to other things.
She thought about how she must seem to him. What did he make of her? What did he see in her? Was she merely someone from his past for whom he still harbored a young man's crush? Was she more than just a reminder to him of past happiness? It was clear he found her attractive; that much he had made crystal clear at their reunion.
So many questions!
In the end it was decided, and there was much to do before the wedding.
CHAPTER TEN
Finally the day was upon her; the day that, in her darkest and most lonely moments, she had thought would never come.
The day of her wedding.
There was a frantic last few hours preparation. Things couldn't be found; people were late getting ready; dresses wouldn't fit; hair proved just impossible to get right.
And then Martha, Cassie and Rachel were on the buckboard, with Ethan riding solo on horseback leading the way to town. He was dressed in his finest suit and his wide brimmed hat was cocked at a jaunty angle.
Cassie took the reins of the buckboard, and tried to keep her sisters under control. It was a task that proved increasingly difficult, the closer they got to Sweetheart Falls.
When Martha saw the crowd outside the church she raised a hand to her throat.
"Oh my. Look at all those people," she exclaimed.
"More than came to my wedding with Ethan, that's for sure," said Cassie.
It looked like many of the ranch hands from the Bar T had turned out for their boss's wedding. Martha could tell them by their rough attire, although some of them looked like they'd made an effort to put on their best. They didn't mingle with the townsfolk, but kept themselves to one side of the church.
The buckboard rolled up to the church, and Cassie pulled it to a halt. Everyone turned to find the bride. She was, after all, what the day was really about.
"Look at that!" said Rachel, pointing beyond the crowd.
Martha looked and saw a beautiful carriage parked by the side of the church. It's large wheels were painted gold, the dark leather seat was luxurious, shining leather, and lines of thin golden fabric trailed out behind it onto the ground.
"My, that is lovely," said Carrie, sounding genuinely impressed. "Looks like your husband plans to take you away in style."
Martha felt her eyes widen as she took in the elegance and beauty of the carriage. When her husband drove her out of town after the
wedding there would be no mistaking the newly married couple.
Ethan helped Martha step down off the buckboard. A few people burst into spontaneous applause, which made Martha color with embarrassment. She saw Hettie watching her, and she was slightly relieved that Hettie decided not to come up to her and speak. Martha needed her wits about her. There was so much to take in.
The townsfolk made their way into the church, leaving Reverend Baxter waiting, his tall, thin frame filling the entrance. Martha tried to look past him and see inside inside. Logan was in there, and he was waiting to marry her. The thought made her heart thump faster.
"Martha. You look radiant," Reverend Baxter said, opening his arms wide, a bible held in one hand.
"Thank you Reverend," she answered.
"I take it Mr Macleod will be leading you in today?" Reverend Baxter asked.
Ethan tucked Martha's arm in his. "I certainly will. And I'll be proud to do so," he declared.
Martha looked at Ethan, and gave him a warm smile. Her eyes were beginning to moisten.
Ethan stroked the side of her face. "No tears, Martha. Not today," he said.
Martha forced a smile. "Not today," she agreed.
They followed the Reverend into the church. Martha looked quickly down to the front and saw Logan standing there. He was dressed in a fine, tailored suit and stood tall and erect. If she wasn't so sure, he looked nervous. His eyes glinted when he saw her, and a smile creased his mouth.
Martha wasn't used to being the center of attention, but suddenly there was a part of her which started to savor the experience of coming to this church to wed the man who had been her beau. She was aware of people following her every step, and the quiet whispers of approval. This was a day to celebrate and be happy.
Ethan released her arm and sat down next to Cassie and Rachel. Martha took her place in front of the Reverend Baxter, and by the side of her husband-to-be.
Logan gazed into her eyes, and Martha felt something shift deep inside herself. She found herself smiling despite her efforts at self control.
The Reverend cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, particularly the young couple who seemed to taken with each other.
Martha looked at Logan, and saw a man overcome with excitement, barely able to contain his joy. His face was a tight mask of restraint.
When Logan spoke his vows his voice was tight. Martha suddenly thought how much this whole thing meant to him. He looked like a man who had dreamed of something for a long time. Now that his dream was coming true, it looked like he could barely believe what was happening.
And what was amazing to Martha was that his excitement was entirely about marrying her. The Logan she had known before had been a young man brought up to control his expressions of emotion; never to show how he truly felt. However, this man standing before her was a completely different man. This was a man who felt strongly and struggled to contain those feelings.
Martha was brought back to reality by the final words of the Reverend.
Logan took the wedding ring out of his waistcoat. Martha looked down at it, and was amazed a how it shone and glinted in the dim light of the church. Her hand was shaking as she extended it toward Logan. He took her hand gently, but firmly, and slipped the ring onto her finger. It fitted perfectly.
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride," Reverend Baxter said quietly.
Logan leaned in and placed his lips softly on Martha's. The kiss was brief, but curiously intense. And then the kiss was over, and the townsfolk stood up and watched as the newlyweds made their way back out into the sunshine.
Congratulations were given to the happy couple by just about everyone. Martha's mind was in a whirl as she tried to be as courteous as she could to everyone who wanted to give their best wishes to her and Logan.
A reception had been arranged at the same place where Cassie and Ethan had held their own.
The afternoon flew by in a haze of dancing, music, food and speeches.
And then it was time to leave; time for her husband to take her home to the ranch.
Cassie took Martha to one side in the middle of all the bustle of the celebrations.
"I'm so happy for you Martha," Cassie said. "I wish you all the very best. He looks like he will be a wonderful husband."
Martha nodded and tried to smile. She was tired; it had been such a long day, and she really wanted her and Logan to get away. She appreciated all the good wishes the townsfolk had heaped upon them, but she needed to get away and have some quiet moments with her new husband.
"I'm sure he'll be a fine husband, Cassie." Martha sighed. "I suppose it is better to marry someone you already know, than a complete stranger," she said.
Cassie frowned. "Don't go thinking that Martha. That's not the way to start your new life with Logan. You already know what he's like. There'll be no big surprises."
"I'd like to think there'll be no surprises Cassie. I sure hope not."
Cassie shifted some stray hair away from Martha's face. "He's a fine young man. You'll have a good life together. Just take your time, and get to know him. Try to make him happy. I'm sure he wants to do the same for you," she said.
Logan interrupted their conversation, and told Martha it was time for them to leave. Cassie gave her sister a warm look and nodded gently as Logan drew Martha away.
Thanks were given to the assembled well wishers, and Martha followed Logan out. The golden wheeled carriage was parked outside the door. Logan assisted his new bride as she stepped up and took her seat.
Logan sat beside her and took the reins.
Suddenly there was a loud, boisterous hollering as Logan's ranch hands started making as much noise as they could. Hats were thrown into the air, and the sound of screaming men drew the attention of townsfolk passing by on the boardwalks on both sides of the main street.
Martha glanced at Cassie, Rachel and Ethan as she waved politely to everyone. Logan cracked the reins and the two horses moved on.
For a moment Martha felt like a fairy tale princess on a golden carriage. It was a faintly ridiculous thought. Townsfolk stopped and stared as the carriage made it's way up the main street.
Logan looked over at her. "How are you Mrs. Crawford?" he asked, with a smile.
Martha nodded. "I'm fine Mr. Crawford. Just fine."
It felt strange, but also curiously satisfying, to hear herself addressed in that way.
The carriage left town, and they started to make their way up through the hills, and toward the plain where the ranch lay. Her destiny awaited and a new life.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The sun was beginning to sink behind the distant high mountains when they arrived at the ranch. From the vantage point of the ridge above the spread, Martha saw the true extent of what her new husband owned. The ranch nestled in a wide valley. From here she could see there wasn't much activity around the corrals and outbuildings, most of the ranch hands being at the wedding, and still in town enjoying some well earned rest. Martha thought it looked picturesque and idyllic in the evening light.
She'd seen paintings of the West even before she had come out to be with her sister. They had depicted the landscapes out here as if they were some kind of fresh, new paradise, unspoiled by the evils of modern life. The view from the ridge made her remember those paintings. It was like she had stepped into a dream landscape. And this was where she was going to live! The thought made her take in a sharp breath.
The carriage slowed and came to a halt. Martha saw Logan look over toward her. "It looks beautiful doesn't it?" he said.
Martha nodded. "It sure does."
"This place is as much yours as mine now. You know that, don't you?" he stated firmly.
Martha exhaled, unsure how to answer him. "It's such a lot to take in," she said, after a moment.
Logan tipped up the front of his wide brimmed hat. "I'm still getting to know it myself. It's kinda similar to the one I owned in Colorado. Every ranch has its own unique features. T
his land is good cattle land. It should work out fine."
Martha clutched her hands together tightly. "How am I going to fit in? I mean, what do I know about being a rancher's wife?"
Logan laid a reassuring hand over her own and leaned in closer. Martha caught his fresh scent in the cool evening breeze. "You're going to be just fine Martha," he said. "You're my wife now. That's more important to me than anything else. I don't want you to worry about working a ranch. That's not going to be you're main concern. I pay others to worry about the ranch."
Martha drew her hands away from his. Logan frowned. "I'm a rancher's wife," she said hesitantly.
Logan leaned in even closer. "Not just any rancher's wife. You're my wife, Martha."
She turned her face to his, and was momentarily taken aback by the intensity of his gaze. There was restrained passion and earnest desire in his eyes. For a moment she felt drawn in by his questioning look. It was true. She was his wife now. It seemed almost unbelievable; in fact it still hadn't completely sunk in. Martha didn't know how long it would take for her to really accept the fact that she was now Logan's wife. There was so much to think of; the future that was looming for them as a married couple; the problems of fitting in with life on the ranch; the memories of the past that just wouldn't stay buried.
Martha felt herself suddenly tighten. She looked down at her lap. Logan drew slowly away from her and cleared his throat. With a flick of the reins he moved the horses on.
Logan parked the carriage in front of the ranch house. He got down and came around, extending a welcoming hand to Martha. She smiled and accepted the gesture, allowing him to guide her as she stepped off the carriage.
There was no-one else around. Martha thought for a moment that maybe Logan had arranged for anyone who wasn't in town celebrating to keep their distance from the ranch house when the newlyweds arrived.
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