Mail Order Beau

by Maya Stirling

  They spent the next hours working their way around every room in the house. Mrs. Proudie professed to agreeing to virtually every suggestion that Martha made. She also had a few of her own, and Martha was happy to agree with most of them. She realized she had struck up a strong bond with Mrs. Proudie. She enjoyed the older woman's honesty and plain speaking. It made the whole experience of going around the house a pleasure.

  By the time they were finished they had a list of what was being kept; what was being thrown out; what was being redecorated, and what needed to be bought to make the place better and easier to live in.

  Martha made her way back to the parlor, and found that Logan had left. She slumped down on the divan, relieved to get off her feet for a while.

  Mrs. Proudie went to the kitchen to prepare some tea, and to get dinner preparations started.

  Martha lay back and closed her eyes. It was hard work being the wife of a rancher. Life at Cassie's had been restricting, but simple. When you had little there was less to worry about, and sometimes that could be a good thing. The ranch house was so much bigger than Cassie's place, and that made for so many more problems to think of. Martha realized it would take her some time to get used to living in the ranch house, but she was determined to make the place a true reflection of herself. She just hoped that Logan would approve of the changes.

  After tea Logan came back looking like he'd been busy. He stopped at the door to the parlor. Sweat covered his brow and his shirt was damp.

  He smiled at Martha. "I won't come too close," he said, gesturing to his shirt.

  Martha nodded. "I think that's a good idea," she agreed with a laugh.

  "How'd your...uh...review of the house get on?" he asked.

  "There's plenty to do. We'll have to buy some stuff and make changes to most of the rooms," Martha answered.

  Logan nodded. "I guessed as much. Whatever you think is best, that's good enough for me," he said quietly.

  Martha was taken aback by the directness of his trust in her. "Don't you have anything you have in mind yourself?"

  Logan shook his head. "Whatever you want, I want the same," he said simply.

  There was a quiet moment during which Martha tried to consider what she could say.

  Logan cleared his throat. "I best be getting cleaned up. I can smell something good in the kitchen. Maybe we can take a walk after eating. It looks like it'll be a nice evening."

  Martha nodded. "That would be nice, Logan. I'll look forward to that," she said.

  Logan left the room and Martha took a deep breath and thought, for a long while, about how nice it would be to walk with Logan under a starry sky.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After dinner Martha and Logan went out together. The night was cool and the sky above was filled with stars. The glow of the lights from inside the house illuminated the front yard.

  Martha had wrapped a shawl around her shoulders, and she held her arms tight against herself as she walked by Logan's side around the side of the house, and up the hill behind the grove of trees.

  Logan was very quiet as they made their way up the gradual incline. There was a half moon which cast enough of a glow that she could clearly see Logan next to her. They followed a well worn path in the grass until they came to a flat area on the hillside. There was a large rock, and they sat down next to each other.

  Martha thought about the day, and how busy she had been. She wondered if Logan approved of her suggestions for the changes to the house. Perhaps he had just been polite when he had told her she had free reign in remaking the house. When she considered it more closely, she concluded that it was his way of telling her that he trusted her; that he had complete faith in her judgment.

  Martha looked up at the sky. There was a myriad of glowing stars. She had never really paid much attention to the sky before she had moved out to Wyoming. Now she couldn't get enough of it. The beauty and openness seemed to symbolize so much of life in the West.

  For a long while they just sat side by side on the rock, taking in the wondrous glory that was the sky. The air was cool, and a light breeze came up from the valley. The quietness between them seemed like such a natural thing. There was no awkwardness in it. It was as if the years apart hadn't happened. They were still as comfortable with silence between each other as ever. Martha had always thought that was the sign of a good relationship. Silence was to be enjoyed, not feared.

  "It's beautiful isn't it?" Logan said after a long while.

  Martha sighed. "Yes. It is absolutely glorious. Makes you feel small just looking at a sky like this," she said.

  Logan turned to her. "There is nothing insignificant about you, Martha," he said in the way that he spoke when he wanted to make an impression on her with his voice. She was starting to get used to that tone of voice. It had a low, vibrating quality that always seemed to affect her.

  Martha smiled weakly. "Oh Logan. You say such lovely things to me. I don't know if I deserve the kind of attention you are giving me."

  Logan leaned in closer by her side. She could hear his quiet, even breathing. "Of course you do. When I think of what you have been through these last few years, it just makes me feel so darned frustrated. You should never have been forced to go through any of that," he said, his words tense and tight. Sometimes Martha was shocked at the intensity of Logan's feelings about the events of the past.

  "It wasn't my choice, Logan. Other people had too much say in my life at the time."

  Logan breathed out loudly. "And in mine. Sometimes I felt like my father was literally sitting on my shoulders. When I was fourteen he took me to one side, and virtually laid out a plan for my entire life. It involved sitting in an office until the day I died."

  Martha frowned at the emotion which was rising in his voice.

  Logan kicked a stone away and shifted nervously on the rock. "That was the day I started to dream about the West, and about escape. Then you came along, and everything changed for me. Suddenly all I could think about was how I could have a life with you, even if it meant following my father's grand plan for my life."

  Martha swallowed, uncertain that she wanted Logan to continue with this line of conversation.

  Logan lifted his head and looked up at the night sky. "Things were so good between us, Martha. I could hardly believe my luck when I found you. You were a wonder to me then, and you still are. I had such dreams for us. I wanted the world for us. I needed to believe that I could give you everything you wanted. I burned with a desire to grab life, and give you everything you deserved."

  Martha recalled the younger Logan she had known. He had been a man filled with youthful energy, but it had been the dynamism of a young man still untutored in the harsh realities of life, and the selfishness of other people. In many ways he had been a naive young man, and that had been one of the things which she'd found attractive. There seemed a hopefulness and optimism about him which made every moment they had spent together a joy.

  She looked at him and saw that same expression of hope and purpose on his face. Then, suddenly, within a moment his face changed, and there was a sadness there.

  "When he told me I couldn't be with you because it just wasn't possible, I felt something die inside me. At first I couldn't understand why he was doing it. I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing. He was preventing our happiness. He was forbidding something beautiful." Logan's voice became louder. "He had no right to do that. He didn't even tell you. What kind of a father does that to his..."

  Suddenly Logan stopped talking, and she could see his body tense. He took a deep breath as if to compose himself. Martha wondered what he had stopped himself from saying. He'd done the same on their first walk. What was he hiding? Martha was lost for words. There were questions niggling at the back of her mind. Something wasn't right; there was a piece missing from the puzzle of their past. However, Logan wouldn't talk about it.

  A silence grew between them. Logan leaned back, and looked up at the stars. Eventually he spoke
to her.

  "Tell me how it was for you after I left," he whispered.

  Martha didn't want to talk about it; this moment was too precious, here under the stars, by her husband's side. Even if he had been on the verge of disclosing something important to them both, she still felt that she didn't want to ruin the moment.

  Logan leaned closer. "Please tell me," he said softly.

  So she told him.

  She spoke about her father dying, and the effect it had on the three sister. As she mentioned her father she saw Logan tighten his lips and raise his head. Martha carried on.

  She spoke about the hardships after her father's death, and the necessity to go live with their aunt and uncle. Martha saw him frown as she recounted the details of the cruelties Martha and Rachel had had to endure.

  She told him about Cassie moving West and finding her first husband Joshua, and how Cassie had promised she would help her sisters find happiness. When she got to the part about Joshua's death, Logan stood up and paced back and forth, his hands on his hips.

  Martha paused before continuing. Every time she spoke about these events in her life they filled her with the same tangled web of emotions.

  Finally she told him about how she had found out that Cassie had remarried. She told Logan about Ethan appearing one day, out of the blue, with letters and a wedding photograph showing himself and Cassie. Logan literally stiffened, and ran his hands through his hair, apparently incredulous that someone would do such a thing. When she got to the part about their reunion at the train station, Logan was just shaking his head slowly, and saying nothing.

  Martha finished recounting her tale, and waited for Logan's response.

  After a while he came and sat down next to her, laying a hand gently on her arm. "I am amazed at what you have told me. You are so strong to have survived all of that," he said gazing into her eyes.

  Martha shook her head. "It's not me that's strong. It's my sister Cassie. She's the one with the will of iron. If it hadn't have been for her, I wouldn't be here," she said.

  "And I wouldn't be here with you either," Logan said. She saw his nostrils flare slightly, and his moist lower lip drop slightly.

  Martha turned her head away. "Everyone's had a hard time of it. Nothing has been easy for any of us," she murmured.

  "But that's the thing. We've all survived. Despite the best efforts of fathers, aunts and uncles, we've all gotten what we wanted. In the end," he said.

  "Have we, Logan?" she said turning back to him. "Have we really all gotten what we wanted?"

  Logan seemed surprised at her expression of doubt. "Of course we have. Look down there. The ranch is real; the town is real. What we have is real, Martha. We made it happen, and we have to seize the chance we have for happiness. Nothing must stand in our way again," Logan said passionately.

  There was still a niggling voice at the back of Martha's mind; something she felt he wasn't telling her.

  "Have you told me the whole story, Logan? I know you told me about coming out here and the success you made of it. But have you told me the entire truth?"

  Logan frowned. "What do mean Martha?"

  "I just get the feeling you are holding something back; that you're not telling me everything," she said.

  Logan shook his head and sighed. There was a long pause, and Logan seemed to be deep in thought. Martha worried she had been too direct, that she had challenged him unfairly. He was lost in thought, and she wondered what he was thinking about.

  "All that matters is that we are here together; that we are happy together; that we are going to be happy forever. Isn't that more important than anything that happened in the past?" Logan said.

  Martha lowered her head and considered his words. Of course he was right; the past was gone, and their future together was more important. However, she still felt that there was something standing between them. More than once, he had been on the verge of speaking of something. Each time he had stopped himself. He was holding something back, and she was determined that it wouldn't be a barrier to them.

  "If it's so unimportant, then why don't you tell me, Logan?"

  He shook his head. The moment of peace and intimacy between them had been broken. "I think we should head back to the house," he said slowly.

  Martha felt a knot of tension coil inside her. "Logan! Please answer me. There is something you are not telling me."

  Logan stood up and held out a hand to Martha. "Let's head down," he said.

  She refused the offer of his hand and stood. Logan's brows narrowed as he saw how upset she was, but he said nothing.

  After arranging her skirt, she began to walk away from him, and head back down the path on her own. From behind her, she heard Logan's voice. It had a pleading, desperate tone. "Martha. Please. You have to understand. The past is gone. There's no point in dredging up the mistakes that people made."

  Martha stopped and turned. "Whose mistakes?"

  Logan's lips tightened. He peered at her, and she knew he wasn't going to say anything.

  Martha sighed and shook her head.

  When she got back to the house, she made her way straight upstairs, and closed the door to the bedroom firmly behind her.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The next morning Martha was up bright and early, but not early enough to catch Logan. She took her breakfast in the kitchen and chatted with Mrs. Proudie. After their work in the house the previous day both women couldn't stop coming up with ideas about how to give the ranch house a woman's touch. Despite the housekeeper's resistance, Martha insisted on helping Mrs. Proudie clean up. While she was doing so she heard the rattle of a buckboard from outside.

  "Well, look who's coming," Mrs Proudie said, looking out the kitchen window.

  Martha went to see and yelped with delight. "It's Rachel and Ethan," she said, grasping Mrs. Proudie by the shoulders. Martha kissed her excitedly on the cheek, which brought a glowing smile to Mrs. Proudie's face.

  Martha put down the cloth she was using to dry a dish and ran outside. The buckboard was making it's way beneath the entrance gate. Ethan pulled it to a halt in front of the house, and Rachel leapt down off the seat. Rachel was dressed in one of her loveliest calico dresses, one Martha hadn't seen her younger sister wear very often. Rachel's hair was neatly arranged in pretty curls, and she carried a small blue parasol. Martha had to admit that Rachel looked very pretty.

  Martha embraced Rachel warmly. "Why Rachel! You look like a peach today," she said, holding Rachel by the shoulders and submitting her to an exaggerated scrutiny.

  Rachel brushed a stray curl away from her forehead. "Ethan said I could come over to the ranch with him. I thought, why not? It's not every day I get to come to such a fine place as this," Rachel said looking past Martha at the house.

  Ethan stepped down and came to Martha and kissed her politely on the cheek. "Martha. How are you?"

  "I'm fine Ethan. How is Cassie?"

  "She's keeping as well as can be expected. Resting at home. We brought the rest of your belongings," Ethan said, gesturing to the buckboard. Martha looked over and saw a pile of boxes. She went over to the boxes and opened one up, looking inside. She saw some of her clothing and personal possessions inside the box. With everything that had been going since she had come to the ranch, she had quite forgotten about all the things she had left behind. She was pleased to see the familiar objects, and couldn't wait to get them into the house.

  Martha went to lift a box, but Ethan stopped her. "I'll do that. Some of these boxes are heavy," he said.

  Martha submitted to his helpful gesture. Ethan took the boxes into the house one by one, and Martha supervised him on where they should go in the upstairs bedroom. Once the boxes had been placed in the bedroom, Martha invited Rachel and Ethan to rest in the parlor. Mrs. Proudie was excited to have guests, and she insisted that they stay and have lunch.

  Ethan seemed hesitant. "I promised Cassie I'd get back as soon as I could," he said quietly. Martha understood that Ethan wou
ldn't want to leave Cassie alone for even a moment. It made her worry slightly that Cassie may not have been well enough for the short journey to the ranch.

  Martha noticed that Rachel didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave. Rachel had been very quiet since arriving, and had spent quite a bit of time looking around the ranch, almost as if she were trying to find something. Then again, maybe she was just impressed by the scale of the ranch compared to where she was currently living.

  Mrs. Proudie insisted that, even if he had to leave soon, Ethan should have something light to eat to keep him from getting hungry on his journey. Martha laughed inwardly as she watched Ethan try, but fail miserably, to talk Mrs. Proudie out of it. There was only going to be one winner in that one, she thought. And it wasn't going to be Ethan Macleod.

  "Mind if I get some fresh air?" Rachel asked abruptly, standing up and grasping her parasol.

  Martha was slightly surprised by the hastiness of the request. "Why, of course. Just don't stray too far from the house. You don't want to get that fine dress dirty. This is a working ranch after all," Martha said.

  Rachel looked at Martha with an expression of mild impatience. "I do know how to look after myself."

  Martha realized that the old habit of looking after Rachel hadn't stopped, even if she was no longer living at the Macleod's.

  Rachel strode purposefully out of the parlor oblivious to the looks that both Martha and Ethan were giving her.

  "What's wrong with her?" Martha asked Ethan.

  He shook his head slowly, his brows furrowed.

  "I surely don't know. When I told her this morning that I was going to come out to the ranch to bring your things, she just about bust a gut when I told her she didn't have to come."

  "Is she still like that?"

  "Truth is, her spirits have been low since you left. I try to keep her busy, but she isn't easy to keep happy these days," Ethan said.