There was the sound of horse's hooves and men's voices. In amongst those voices she heard one that was familiar.
Logan.
"Martha. Are you alright? Martha speak to me."
She couldn't find her voice.
"Martha open your eyes. Look at me. It's Logan," she heard him say.
She forced her eyes to open and saw him looking intently at her, his face white with fear and worry. Still she couldn't get any words out of her mouth. Logan's eyes widened when he saw that she couldn't respond.
She felt him reach down and place his hands on her head. An unfamiliar voice from somewhere close by said: "Don't move her boss. Give her some time."
Logan looked off to where the voice had come from and nodded. He stroked her head, and continued to gaze at her questioningly.
It seemed to Martha that she lay there for an eternity. The sounds of the cattle faded into the distance, and pretty soon she knew that it was only Logan by her side. The other men had gone back to work, probably on his orders.
Gradually she felt the energy come back to her, and the dull thud in her head subsided. Her back ceased to ache and sensation had returned to her legs. She was recovering.
Logan was kneeling by her side waiting for her to regain her senses so that he could be certain that she hadn't suffered permanent injury.
Martha looked at him and smiled. When Logan saw her smile, the relief written across his face made something shift inside Martha. It was a sensation composed of relief and something else; something she had struggled so hard to avoid; battled so much to refuse. But there was no avoiding it now, not here, with him by her side, showing her, yet again, just how much she meant to him. She knew he would never leave her side; she was absolutely convinced that she could say what he had wanted her to say to him for so long. When the words rose in her mind she didn't even question them; she didn't dispute the truth of them, and she spoke them with all the conviction she could muster.
"I love you Logan," she gasped, her voice weak and quiet.
Logan's eyes lit up and his moist lower lip dropped in surprise at the sound of the words he had waited so long to hear. Martha could see the color rush to his face as he leaned forward.
Martha smiled at him. "Don't worry. I may have taken a blow to the head, but I know exactly what I'm saying," she said firmly, words suddenly coming easy, now that she had said the most important thing she would ever say.
Logan leaned closer to her and smiled warmly. He stroked the side of her face. "I love you Martha. I always have loved you and I always will." His smile became broader. "But then you always knew that, didn't you. Deep down."
Martha turned her head away from him. The ground felt cold beneath her back, and she struggled to control her feelings. "I always knew it Logan. I really did. I just had to come such a long way to realize it," she said.
Logan leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
"Where are the ranch hands?" Martha asked, suddenly aware that he had kissed her in the middle of a field full of cattle. It wasn't the romantic setting she had imagined for a moment like this.
Logan glanced off to the distant herd. "They're busy with their work. Can you sit up?"
Martha shifted her body from side to side, testing for any reaction. Everything seemed fine. "I think so," she answered.
Logan placed his hands around her shoulders, and gently lifted her to an upright position. Martha took in a deep breath and looked around. The herd was a long way off in the fading light of the evening. The air in the valley had become noticeably cooler, and Martha felt herself shiver. Logan saw her shake and went to his own nearby horse, taking down his jacket and wrapping it around her.
"I owe you an apology, Logan," she blurted out suddenly.
Logan brows furrowed. "No need to talk about anything like that right now," he said, drawing her closer to him.
"No. I must. I have to tell you. Right now. I understand why things have been hard between us. That's going to change," she said, urgency filling her voice.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I know it was my own papa that broke us up before," she stated bluntly.
Logan stiffened, but didn't say anything. Martha continued: "I know that it wasn't your father who stopped us. And I know that you didn't want to tell me the real reason why we couldn't be together; why you had to leave. You didn't want to hurt me by hurting my father. You had to keep your promise, because that's the kind of man you are."
Logan looked off into the distance, still saying nothing.
"I didn't understand because no-one told me," Martha continued. "Not my father; not even my sister. So I have spent the last few years blaming everyone for the way that I lost you. When, all along, the real reason was right on my own doorstep. Only, no-one told me. I'm sorry I didn't trust you Logan."
He drew her closer and held her tight. "There's no need to apologize for anything Martha. You weren't to know."
"How can you forgive me, Logan?"
"I don't need to forgive you. I just love you. Isn't that enough?"
Martha rested her head against his chest. It was enough and always would be. She knew that, deep in her bones. In fact, now that she thought about it, she had always felt, deep down, that his love was more than enough. It would overcome everything, just as it had overcome time and distance and other people's resistance.
Logan held her closer to his chest, enclosing her in a comforting, enveloping embrace, that filled her with the warmth of certainty and security.
He dipped his head, and planted a brief kiss on her lips. He straightened and gazed intently into her eyes. "We better get you home. You don't want to be sitting here all night, do you?"
She smiled up at him and placed a hand on his chest. She felt the strength of his thudding heart, and got a sense of the emotion he was disguising.
"I think you're right. This ground's getting a bit chilly to sit on."
"You're riding with me," she stated.
"Where's my horse?"
"That never was your horse. Nor is it ever going to be. One of the hands took it. I'll be getting you one more suited for your experience. Don't get me going on why you should never even have been on that animal in the first place," he said.
She nodded, acknowledging that he was right. Her foolishness had been born of desperation at finding him. She had been lucky that she hadn't suffered a more serious injury.
Logan helped her stand up. She didn't feel to bad. Her legs were a bit shaky, but other than that, she knew she had been lucky.
Logan lifted her up with all the care he could muster, settling her gingerly atop his horse. This time he sat behind her, enfolding her in a firm embrace, his hands extending out, holding the reins.
"You ready to get home?"
Martha nodded. It felt good to have his arms wrapped around her. She sank back against him and closed her eyes. The horse moved on and they started on their way back to the ranch.
On the way back to the ranch they continued to talk about the past. It was important to Martha to make sure that Logan understood her; that he believed her when she said that she loved him; that he was convinced by her words of regret at the years they had lost together.
Logan spoke to her about his relief that at last he had been unburdened of the need to keep the real facts from Martha. He told her he'd always known they would pull through; that given the chance, he would never let anything stand in the way of her being his loving wife. There was a wry smile on his face when he leaned round and kissed her on the cheek.
For her part Martha thought about how much they had both been through. They'd both had to endure hardships that ordinary couples normally didn't have to go through. There had been separation; the disapproval of parents; the pain of loss; the fears of never being reunited. But wouldn't all that make their love all the stronger for having been tested? She certainly thought so.
Love had to be tested to prove itself. She'd seen it with Cassie and Ethan. Their success h
ad inspired her to believe that she could have love in her own life. Logan had come along and reclaimed her as his own. It felt good to be with this loving, determined man who had broken down so many barriers to be with her.
No longer could she consider holding back the fullest possible expression of her love. She felt complete with him, here in this moment, wrapped in his arms, in the growing twilight, being taken back to the safety of their home, where warmth and love and security awaited her. It was no longer right to deny Logan the one thing he had asked of her, and which she had so harshly refused.
When they arrived back at the ranch Logan let Martha find her way up to their room. He told her to get some rest and headed toward the kitchen. As she went up the stairs Martha heard the faint sounds of Mrs. Proudie in the kitchen, then the murmuring of words exchanged.
When she got to the room she closed the door behind her. She paused for a moment to savor the silence of the room and she realized she was already missing Logan's presence. How strange that seemed to her, especially after the nights she had spent sleeping in the room alone.
She cleaned herself up, changed into another dress and settled down on the seat in front of the dressing table mirror. Looking at herself as she brushed her hair she saw a new woman. In her eyes she saw a pleasant glow that hadn't been there for a very long time. She examined her features and saw the calmness she felt inside reflected in the color of her cheeks and the curve of her lips. She liked what she saw.
Martha suddenly didn't want to be alone in the room. It had been too long and now was the time for it to stop.
She went downstairs and into the kitchen. There was no-one there, which surprised her at first. She opened the front door and found Logan standing outside, his head lifted upward to view the emerging stars in the darkening sky.
Martha went to him and stood by the side of her husband. He turned his head and when he saw her there he reached out and wrapped an arm around her.
"How are feeling?" he asked in a voice filled with warmth.
Martha looked up at him and smiled. "I'm fine Logan. I don't think I have ever been better than I am right now."
He seemed hugely pleased at that statement. Martha lifted her head and Logan bent down and gently placed his lips on hers. The kiss was delicate and sweet and Martha knew then that this was the kiss she had been waiting for; the one touch of his tender lips that she had dreamed of so many times. She felt the stirring of her heart as he turned and took her in a warm embrace, all the while kissing her with restrained desire.
Their lips parted and Martha looked at him. She brushed a loose lock of hair away from his forehead. Nothing was said between them as she reached down and took his hand and began to walk back into the house. Logan's eyes narrowed in a silent question which was answered by Martha's slow and gentle nod.
They made their way upstairs to their marital bedroom, and it seemed to Martha that Logan's grip was so firm that nothing on earth would induce him to ever let her go.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Martha awoke the next morning to find Logan still by her side. The sun was shining through the curtained window. She reached over and touched his hair. Logan didn't stir, so she slipped out of bed and put on her dressing gown. She turned to look at him before she closed the bedroom door. Her lips widened with a smile as she looked at his sleeping form. The expression on his face was that of perfect contentment. Martha felt the same happiness. Their first night had been one of long withheld passion fully expressed, the awkwardness of a couple still to truly know each other, and the joy which comes from the depths of real emotional connection.
Anxious not to awaken him, she closed the door behind her and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Mrs. Proudie was already busy. She looked up as Martha entered the kitchen.
"Martha. Good morning. And what a lovely day it is," Mrs. Proudie said.
Martha looked out the window. It surely was a bright and sunny day. She looked around the kitchen and was surprised at the sheer amount of food ingredients there were around.
"You planning on making a big dinner today?" she asked Mrs. Proudie.
"You noticed. Well, we're having some guests over today, so I figured I'd get an early start."
Martha was surprised. "Guests. Who?"
"Your sisters are coming over. Plus a few others," Mrs. Proudie said. "Logan has invited everyone he can think of for a big lunch this afternoon. He said he thought you needed cheering up after what happened yesterday."
Martha momentarily thought Mrs. Proudie was referring to something else. Then she realized she was talking about the fall from the horse.
"I take it you don't have any bruises?" Mrs. Proudie asked.
Martha felt awkward. The only consequence of falling from the horse had been in bringing her and Logan closer together. "No. I didn't suffer any injury. Only bruised pride. I'll never get on that horse again."
"I could have told you. That one is a mean one. They take a long time to get tamed," said Mrs. Proudie.
Martha thought there were plenty other things that took time to get tamed. She herself had been one of them, it seemed to her.
"Can I help you get anything ready,?" Martha asked.
Mrs. Proudie waved a hand. "You don't bother yourself. I can manage on my own. I'll have everything ready. You just take the morning and enjoy yourself. I notice Logan didn't go to work this morning."
Martha felt the color rise to her cheeks, and there was nothing she could do to control it. "I think he's a bit tired after all the business with the rustlers yesterday," she said.
"That sure was a bad business. I heard Mr. Brook going on about it this morning," Mrs Proudie said. "Him and a few of the hands were having quite a shouting match about it earlier. I had to tell them to shut up in case they woke you and the boss. No-one's happy about what happened yesterday."
Martha finished her breakfast and went outside. It was a beautiful morning. She went out to the front yard, and gazed up at the blue sky, breathing in the fresh air. She was filled with a contentment she had never known in her life. It was a remarkable sensation that she had been convinced would always elude her. But here she was, standing in front of the most beautiful house in these parts, after the most special night of her life, with the man she loved up there in the bedroom, asleep and content.
What more could she ask for? To demand more would be to show a disregard for the grace which had been granted her. Standing there, in the yard, with all the beauty of the ranch around her, she had the sense that all this had been bestowed upon her by a power beyond her comprehension, and that her true role was to recognize it, be thankful and not to take it for granted. She would never take Logan for granted, that was for sure. The gratitude she felt in her heart would never leave her. She was both amazed, and grateful that everything had worked out for her in the end.
By the afternoon the long table had been set, the food prepared and decorations hung across the front porch. Mrs. Proudie repeatedly refused any attempt by Martha to help her. Mrs. Proudie enlisted the help of some of the ranch hands to do some of the heavy lifting.
Martha went upstairs to get ready. Logan joined her, and they both helped each other choose just the right outfit to greet their guests. Logan had moved some of his clothing into second closet in the bedroom. Martha was impressed by the variety of his suits, shirts and pants, and the care with which he had hung them up. She teased him about how particular he was about his appearance. She guessed it was one of the few traits left over from his days back East.
Nevertheless, she found it charming and attractive that he took such pains to ensure that they would make the best possible impression on their guests.
Logan watched Martha try on three different dresses. Each time she finished putting one on, he lay back on the bed, rubbing his chin, an amused grin on his face. He pretended to consider each dress carefully, and she laughed as he teased her with his opinions about which one brought out the best in her eyes; which one made her hair look lustr
ous; which one accentuated her figure. She eventually settled on the dress which Cassie had given her as a birthday gift. She knew that her sister would be pleased to see her wearing it.
By the time they were both ready it was almost time for the guests to arrive. Logan and Martha stood in front of the mirror, looking every inch the couple that they had become. Logan was fine and dignified in his best suit, and Martha looked elegantly gentile in the dress that brought a sparkle to her eyes.
When she saw how they looked as a married couple Martha was momentarily taken aback. They belonged together; she could see that in their reflection. There was no doubt that they were absolutely suited to each other.
Logan turned and embraced her. "You look wonderful, Martha," he said with obvious pride.
"I don't think I've ever seen a more handsome man than you, Logan," she replied.
She saw the color rush to his cheeks. "You better get used to these compliments Logan. I don't intend to hold back any time soon," she assured him.
"Likewise, Martha. You haven't heard anything yet," he said.
He leaned down and kissed her lips with a softness that she was becoming familiar with. She relaxed into his kiss, and into the strength of his embrace.
She heard the rumble of buckboard wheels from the yard and the sound of voices. "They're here!" she said quickly.
They made their way downstairs. Before they opened the front door she turned to Logan. "How do I look?"
Logan squinted at her. "You really want to know?"
"Logan! Don't tease me. How do I look?"
Logan's eyes burned into her own. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world," he said in a voice that burrowed into her.
Martha waved a hand at him. "Logan. You're going to have to come up with some other ways of paying me compliments. I've only heard that from you a hundred times already," she said.
"You'll hear it from me a thousand times more," he told her, opening the front door.
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