Kiss and Break Up

by Ella Fields

  He flicked the photograph, and I took it from him, trailing my finger over his chubby four-year-old face.

  “Why the hell did they dress us up as that anyway?”

  “Hell if I know,” I said. “Probably because we made cute Flintstone babies.”

  “Didn’t they end up together?”

  I snapped my gaze to his, grinning. “Shut up. You’ve watched it?”

  “A time or two,” he said with a shrug, then finished his whiskey, likely stolen from my dad’s office. “Don’t get too excited.”

  “So they get married?” I tucked the flaps of the box shut, sliding it to the other side of the bed.

  “I think so. Just like you and I will.”

  I fell backward, laughter howling out of me.

  “You find the idea that ridiculous, do you?” He leaned over me, blue eyes smiling.

  “Imagine that.” I squinted up at him, my head dizzy.

  “Actually”—he swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting—“I do.” His words made my heart pause. “Imagine it.”

  My breath caught. “Dash.” He was drunk, I tried to reason with the burning in my chest.

  With his eyebrows dipped low, he licked his lips. “You shouldn’t be with him.”

  My heart began racing, and my lungs failed to keep up. “Why?”

  “Because …” His head lowered, his hair falling forward and grazing my face as his nose touched mine. “You should be with me.”

  We crashed together in a tangle of heated lips, rough hands, and desperate sounds.

  “I want you so bad. I swear it’s all I think about,” he said, his voice dry and punctuated between heavy breaths. His tongue licked up my neck as his hand sank behind my head, and his body lowered over mine, grinding between my spread legs.

  They wound around his back, and I panted, hands greedy in his thick hair. “I don’t know what we’re doing, but …”

  “But?” he asked, eyes meeting mine as he rocked into my core.

  I moaned. “But it scares me.”

  “Good,” he bit out, his teeth nipping at my lip. “Because you fucking petrify me.”

  His words paralyzed. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” he said, his eyes twin storms of charged electricity. Then his tongue dived into my mouth, and mine was ready to meet it.

  My leg hiked higher up his back, and one of his hands skimmed lower, crawling between us and dipping inside my panties. He froze, his lips leaving mine bereft and cold. “You’re bare.”

  My eyes narrowed, and I blinked the cloud-like haze from them. “Um, yes?”

  His forehead creased, his gaze dark and filled with something unnamable. “For him?”

  And just like that, what we were doing, what I was feeling, seized the moment within its brutal grasp and crushed it all. It fell away like broken petals on the wind, scattering in a million directions, too far out of reach.

  I threw myself off the bed, stumbling to my feet.

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  “I have a boyfriend,” I said, my hands scrubbing at my cheeks. “I can’t, ugh.” I gave up trying to talk, too wrapped up in my latest mistake and what it could mean for Byron and me.

  “Hate to break it to you.” Dash smirked, his kiss swollen lips rubbing together as he watched me pace the fluffy pink rug in the center of my room. “But he’s not your boyfriend.”

  I halted. “What?”

  “He’s no more your boyfriend than I am. If anything, we’re more together than you and Woods are.”

  Exasperated, I laughed, sounding crazed as I shook my head and held back a scathing retort. It wasn’t Dash’s fault I’d messed up; it was my own. And although he wasn’t making this confusing place we’d gotten to any easier to traverse, I wasn’t about to put the blame on him.

  Needing to catch my breath and gather my thoughts, I was halfway to the door when a crash down the hall met my ears.

  I turned my wide eyes to Dash. “I thought people knew they weren’t allowed up here?”

  Dash stood from the bed, taking his time to meet me at the door. “They do know. Wait here.”

  I didn’t. I followed him down the hall to the parlor located between my room and my dad’s.

  The frosted doors had been shut, but that didn’t mean much. We could still see the naked back of a woman pressed up against them, and we could definitely hear her moans. “Jack,” a soft voice said.

  The door banged, a male groan reaching us as the female let out a squeak. I gripped Dash’s arm. “She okay?”

  The doors started rattling, and Dash grinned, patting my hand. “Oh yeah, I’d say Willa’s doing better than okay.”

  “What? Wait,” I said when he started pulling me back down the hall. “Willa? Jack.” My mouth fell open. “She’s having sex with her brother?”

  “Stepbrother,” Dash amended. “Now let’s go kick these assholes out. I don’t wanna be cleaning until three in the morning.”

  My feet unglued. “But they’ve been siblings since they were babies. It’s, it’s …” Willa’s silence about boys and the daydreaming glow to her eyes; it all clicked into one shocking piece.

  Dash stopped at the top of the stairs with a brow raised. “Like what we just did?”

  I groaned. “That’s not really the same.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, and maybe then you’ll get over whatever hang-ups you’re holding on to.”

  “What the hell, Dash?” I followed him to the kitchen where he grabbed some more trash bags.

  “Chill, it’s your birthday. Let’s just …” He sighed, resignation sinking his shoulders. “Finish it in style.”

  “By cleaning?”

  He glanced out the window at all the guests, most of whom I didn’t even recognize. “First one to get a full bag gets dibs on where we order pizza from.”

  I snatched the bag and raced out of the kitchen, laughing as Dash cursed, then gave chase.

  Dash

  It scares me.

  I’d waited her out the rest of the weekend, confused out of my mind over what I should do. Or if I should even do anything.

  When Monday morning rolled around, and I realized she’d be driving herself to school, annoyance, anxiety, and anger festered into one giant ball, leaving me liable to snap at just about anything or anyone.

  I arrived at school late on purpose, not wanting to risk seeing Woods clamor for something he didn’t and never would get to have. By the time I slunk into second period, I was primed and ready to fight, my feet shifting in agitation beneath the desk.

  “Dash,” Annika cooed when the teacher slipped out to use the bathroom.

  I didn’t bother turning my head around.

  After a tap on my shoulder, a pink gel pen was roaming up my neck.

  I flicked it away, and Annika giggled. “Heard Peggy had some party last weekend.”

  “And?” I asked, scooping a handful of sour gummies from my pocket and slipping them in my mouth.

  “And you didn’t invite me,” she said. “We had fun at Wade’s, right?”

  She’d sucked my dick like an addict, but not even her skilled mouth compared to the hesitant exploration that’d gone down in my bedroom with Peggy.

  My best friend was turning my mind into a sludge pile of confused desperation. “I don’t want a repeat, if that’s what you’re rambling about.”

  She made a tutting noise. “You came so hard. I don’t believe you.”

  “Because I wasn’t thinking about you.” I didn’t feel bad for saying that, not one fucking bit. She had it coming with her incessant pestering. “Take a fucking hint and find someone else’s balls to bust.”

  “You’re a piece of asshole shit, Dashiell.”

  My teeth gritted, but I ignored the jab as Mr. Denkins reentered the room.

  I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take this. This feeling that ate and ate and ate at my chest, leaving nothing but bleeding need behind.

  She wanted me, that much I was certain of whe
never I’d gotten my hands on her, but as soon as they were off, I was back in the friend-zone. A place I thought we’d stay, that I’d been content to stay, for the rest of our lives.

  But now, that’d changed.

  I couldn’t watch her morph into a woman with someone else. No goddamn way. I didn’t know how I’d never seen it before, or when exactly it changed, but maybe that was why I’d shied away from anything that resembled commitment.

  Because it was supposed to be her all along.

  Peggy and Dash—more than just best friends.

  As everyone filed out after class, I headed to study hall to stew on my feelings until lunch. There, I resolved to ditch my scumbag friends and steal the seat beside Peggy before Byron got there.

  We entered the cafeteria at the same time, and as both our eyes saw Peggy take a seat with Willa and Daphne, we charged.

  He pushed; I shoved. He cursed, shoving me back. Laughter sounded as I almost stumbled to the floor, and then I chased, my shoe colliding with the back of his knee, sending him to the ground right before he’d reached the girls’ table.

  I slipped into the seat, stealing a piece of Peggy’s carrot. “What?”

  Peggy blinked, her curled lashes holding me hostage over her gray eyes. “What the hell was that?”

  “A little friendly competition never hurt anyone.”

  “Competition? Dash.” She scowled, her gaze moving to Byron. “You okay?”

  Byron winced, lowering to the seat next to Willa, who scrounged around in her bag for something. “Yeah. Not sure about my pride, though.”

  “Guess Coach Gorerro doesn’t work you hard enough, Romeo.” I chomped down on the carrot, displaying as many teeth as I could.

  Byron bristled, the look in his eyes a promise of retribution. Let him try. While he was doing that, I moved my mouth to Peggy’s ear. “I want you to suck me again.”

  Her eyes went wide with shock, worry, and a hint of excitement. “Dash! Oh, my God. Shut up.”

  “What, was I too loud?” Her hand grabbed my thigh under the table, squeezing. And holy hellfire did she have sharp nails. “Ow, shit. Fine. Sheath your talons.”

  She slowly released me, and I made a face at Daphne, who was eyeing us with a knowing look. Yeah, she knew, maybe even Willa too. Though how much remained to be seen. I didn’t give a fuck. I’d stand on this table and shout how great her pussy and mouth were to the whole cafeteria if I wasn’t worried that Peggy wouldn’t speak to me again.

  “Have a good time on Friday, Willa?” I stole another piece of carrot, having not grabbed anything due to wanting my spot next to Peggy.

  Peggy grumbled, slapping at my hand, but she was too late.

  Willa’s doe eyes bounced up from her apple slices. “Uh, yeah?”

  I nodded, my smile wider than the sun. “Yeah, indeed.”

  Her mouth popped open as she realized I knew. I’d known for a while something was up with her and Jackson, but I didn’t have any proof until Friday. Dirty, sneaky tyrants. No wonder the guy was either perpetually stoned or looked like he didn’t know his ass from his face. Fucking your sister, technically stepsister, who’d lived under the same roof as you for almost your entire existence would probably do that to you.

  Made me feel a lot better about the filthy things I wanted to inflict on Peggy. Not that I’d ever felt all that bad anyway.

  “Don’t you have a blunt to smoke?” Byron asked, his eyes still heavy on me, jaw twitching with barely veiled rage.

  “Saving it for later. I like my weed best after food or …” My eyes slid to Peggy. “After sex.”

  Byron legitimately growled.

  “Problem?” I poked the bear.

  His face was growing mottled. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

  “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” I gave my attention back to Peggy, who was turning bright pink.

  “Fine, huh? Is that why you ratted on Peggy to her mom about Wade’s party?”

  My head swung to him, my fists and heart clenching. He didn’t know that. No one knew that other than Peony when I’d expressed my concern to her on the phone the day before the party.

  Did I feel bad for being the reason she got grounded for a week? Maybe. Okay, no. Not really.

  Peggy gasped. “What?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said to Byron, albeit, a little too late. He had me, and he damn well knew it.

  He folded his beefy arms. “I wasn’t sure, but hey, now I am. It was totally you.”

  I stood, leaning over the table and baring my teeth. “And I’m totally going to rip your dick off and shove it down your herpes infested throat.”

  “Enough. What’s going on here?” Mr. Andrews said, nearing the table.

  With every ounce of strength I had, I dragged myself away from Byron’s smug face. “Nothing.”

  “You can finish your lunch outside, Mr. Thane.”

  I didn’t point out that I didn’t have any lunch, but I stood, glancing down at Peggy. “Pegs.”

  She wouldn’t look at me. “Just go.”

  Fuck.

  Lars bunny-hopped, then did a bar-spin over the ledge, bringing his bike to a stop beside mine at the top of the bowl. “You going to ride that thing or just sit on it all afternoon?”

  I’d come here to clear my head, gain some damn clarity, and figure out how to get Peggy to talk to me.

  For the first time in forever, she’d locked her window.

  It’d been three days since she’d decided she wanted nothing to do with me, and though I’d hoped she would, like a naïve idiot, she’d yet to ditch the loafer-wearing fuckstick. If anything, what I’d done had only opened her arms farther for him.

  “Fuck off,” I said around the cigarette dangling between my lips.

  Jackson down whipped, then rolled over, wiping beads of sweat from his forehead before dumping his cap back on his head. “He’s butthurt over Peggy.”

  “I said fuck off.”

  A bunch of younger kids rode in, took one look at us and the middle fingers I gave them, and rode back out to the basketball courts. We didn’t do well with sharing, especially not me. They could wait their damn turn.

  Lars rolled his bike back and forth, arms hanging over the front bars. “I’ve gotta say, Thane. I never thought this would be you.”

  Jackson huffed. “Pussy.”

  I didn’t want to take the bait, but fuck if I could help it at this point. “Elaborate or take a hike.”

  “And leave you to mope all on your own?” Jackson checked his phone, frowning, then leaned forward to pocket it. “Because that’s what you’re doing, you know. Moping.”

  “Mopey as fuck.” Lars nodded.

  “I don’t mope. I fucking brood.”

  Jackson laughed. “This sure as hell isn’t brooding. You look like someone’s diagnosed you with an incurable disease.”

  Love was a disease.

  The thought sparked, sending shockwaves through every nerve ending of my body and electrifying my heart.

  I couldn’t be. I didn’t think it was possible, but then again, if it was going to be anyone, these past few weeks had made it crystal clear it was going to be her.

  “Well, go on, wise asses.” I stomped on my cigarette. “What would you do?”

  “Quit letting her ignore you for a start.”

  Lars agreed. “The longer you let that happen, the more room you’re giving them to get even more serious.”

  “You really wanna let Woods get between Peggy’s legs?”

  I growled at Jackson. “Watch your putrid mouth.”

  “Pot black kettle.”

  My brows met. “What?”

  Jackson waved a hand. “Whatever. Just get your girl or get over it.”

  “Is that what you’re doing?”

  About to launch into the bowl, he froze, Vans skidding over the concrete.

  I laughed. “The taste is always better when you’re eating something forbidden.”

  Lars
looked back and forth between us. “What are you even saying?”

  I kept my eyes glued to Jackson, and he swallowed, a plead within them. I wasn’t one to keep other people’s secrets, but in this case, knowing the fallout would be too fucking devastating and potentially life-ruining, I smirked. “Just Jackson’s penchant for hooking up with the unavailable.”

  Lars’s frown said he wasn’t completely buying it, but he was too selfish, we all were, to care for too long.

  “So what are you going to do?” Lars asked as we wheeled our bikes out of the skate park an hour later.

  “I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

  I was still dazed by my earlier revelation. Still trying to wrap my brain around the truth that had laid dormant for who knew how long.

  A hidden truth unearthed. It was official. I’d fallen for my best friend, and she was breaking my black fucking heart.

  Peggy

  I parked my car on the street outside the house, not wanting to block the driveway.

  It seemed a little weird that my ride cost more than Mom’s and Phil’s, but at school, it fit right in. Though the flatness that overran me when I’d parked it in the lot first thing Monday morning made me realize I really didn’t care.

  I’d been too caught up in the events that’d blown my mind and confused my heart over the weekend. Did Dash like me? Over and over, I’d replayed everything that’d happened that night and in the weeks before. The culmination of it all had my chest constricting as I’d had dinner with Byron, chatted with Dad on the phone, and even now, days later.

  He liked me more than a best friend should. Though what scared me the most was knowing I had to ask myself if I liked him too.

  Mostly because there was no need to ask or answer. I didn’t know how it’d happened, but somehow, I’d handed even more of my heart to him. More than what a best friend should give. But it would be a mistake to take it any further than we already had.

  As it was, we stood to lose way more than we could ever gain.

  Dash Thane wasn’t capable of loving anyone but himself, and I’d do well to remember that.

  “You never told me Dash was the one who told you about the party,” I said, dragging my fork through my spaghetti the Wednesday after my birthday.