Forever Ain't Enough

by Shelia E. Bell

  Sitting inside a church for the first time in years, Dray felt a sense of calm, peace, and divine serenity. He missed the fellowship, the choir singing, the preaching, and couldn’t imagine how he had pushed God aside for so long. Things were so much better now that he was with the woman he believed was the perfect woman for him—minus the drama and craziness.

  He and Chynna had a mind blowing sexual relationship, and that was what Dray believed kept him going back to her. Had he somehow mistaken sex and lust for love? Not being in an intimate relationship with Bethany, at least not on a sexual level, made them closer than he could ever have imagined. He thought about what he used to tell Chynna all the time: “If nothing lasts forever will you be my forever?” Chynna never took him seriously and thought he was quirky whenever he told her that. He came to the conclusion that she found it quirky and silly because it wasn’t meant for her. It must have been meant for a woman like Bethany. Bethany cried when he first said those words to her. She couldn’t wait to become his forever bride.

  7

  “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Ernest Hemingway

  “You did what?” KeeKee screamed and paced heavily across the engineered hardwood floors. “What is wrong with you, Chynna? You’ve done some crazy things, but nothing like this. Oh, God, you could go to prison for years. I can’t believe this,” cried KeeKee.

  “It’s his fault. If he hadn’t dumped me for no reason then none of this would have happened. When I saw him and that slut together I lost it! I went to see if we could talk. I had made up my mind if he told me that it was over and there was no way we would ever get back together again, I was going to just leave it alone. Go on with my life, you know? But noooo, he had to walk out of the building all kissy face with that ugly….”

  “Stop it! The man might die, Chynna. Do you understand that?”

  “Yeah, and if he does he deserves it,” Chynna cried.

  “You don’t mean that. You love Dray. If he were to die because of you, you and I both know you would never forgive yourself. Be real. This is me you’re taking to, Chynna. You’ve got to turn yourself in. That’s all there is to it.”

  For the first time since they became best friends, KeeKee came to the stark and scary realization something was mentally unstable with Chynna. How could she do what she’d done and not be sorry about it? It was like she wished Dray would die.

  “My God, what did they do to you that was so bad, Chynna?”

  “He hurt me, Kee. He betrayed me. Nobody and I mean nobody gets away with messing over me.”

  “I’m not talking about Dray now. I’m talking about your parents, your foster parents, the system? What did they do to you to make you like this?”

  “They didn’t do anything to me but make me a strong woman, a woman who doesn’t accept crap from anybody. I gave Dray my heart and he walked all over it. For that he has to pay, KeeKee. Don’t you see that? Then again, I guess you can’t understand where I’m coming from. You had the perfect childhood, the perfect parents. You attended the best schools and you were the most popular girl in school. Everything you’ve ever told me about your life growing up was what I could only dream of. But me, I was knocked around, abused, and molested. I was separated from my little brother. To this day I don’t know where he is, don’t even know if he’s alive. My parents loved drugs more than they loved us. Nobody gave me a thing, Kee. Don’t you see? I worked hard, put myself through college. When I lived with one of the seven or so foster parents I was placed with I used to have to sleep sometimes on park benches to keep from being raped. But you know, it’s okay because I survived. As for the one who tried to rape me, I stabbed him one night in his sleep and I don’t regret it. He didn’t die but I sure wished he had. When I was placed with my last foster mom she taught me how to defend myself, to keep my heart intact, and I remembered that. I have her to thank for my strength, my resilience. I have her to thank for teaching me that nobody walks out of my life without paying the piper.”

  Tears flooded KeeKee’s eyes as she listened to her best friend. Chynna was a hurt, bruised woman. How she wished she could help her.

  “I’m so sorry, Chynna. I’m sorry about all the horrible things that happened to you. Believe me I really am, but you can’t live your life being angry and vengeful. You need to turn yourself in. Please, Chynna. You need to get some help.”

  “Help? Girl, please.” Chynna shooed KeeKee away with a wave of her hand. “I’m not turning myself in. If the police want me they’ll have to find me.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” KeeKee cried, wiping tears from her face as soon as they fell.

  “Stop all that boohooing. If I go to jail just keep some money on my books,” Chynna laughed loudly.

  “Stop it. None of this is funny. I’m scared for you, and I feel horrible about Dray and…and—”

  “Don’t you say it, Kee. You better not say you feel bad about that trick he was with. If I can’t have Dray, I’m not going to let him be happy with anyone else. Anyway, he doesn’t love her. He’s only marrying her to get back at me.”

  KeeKee was scared. Chynna was irrational. Should she turn her in? But Chynna was her best friend. Even though she could be violent, even though she’d done something so terrible as this, she still cared about her and their friendship. Chynna had helped her with a lot of things over the years. She was her confidante. She could rely on her to do whatever she could to help her. She was the true definition of a best friend. But this, this was too much for her to digest. Oh, God what do I do?

  “I was thinking Saturday we could go dress shopping,” Chynna said out of the blue like absolutely nothing had happened and she was as innocent as a baby.

  “Dress shopping? For what? Where are you going?”

  “I want to try on wedding dresses. I’ve seen some really cute ones online, but I want to go to an actual bridal shop, maybe David’s Bridal or there’s another small boutique I found online that’s in Lakeland, Tennessee. We could drive up there, have lunch, and you know do some girl stuff. Oh, and did I tell you that fool Nathaniel from work asked me out again? I guess while Dray is recuperating, it won’t hurt if I go out with him. What do you think?”

  KeeKee sat down in the chair in the small living space. “I think you cannot be serious about him and you definitely cannot be serious about going to try on wedding dresses.” She eyed Chynna nervously.

  “As a heart attack,” Chynna replied, kicked back on the sofa, and turned on the television.

  8

  “Better to be strong than pretty and useless.” Saintcrow

  “Did you have a good time?” Nathaniel asked as they arrived at her apartment.

  “Yeah, I did. I haven’t been to the fair since…well, I’ve never been to the fair,” she said after she thought about it.

  “Seriously? You’ve got to be kidding.”

  She sat in the car and looked at him. “Why would I joke about something like that?”

  “I guess. Well, I thought everyone had gone to the fair at one time or another.”

  “Well, you guessed wrong. Hey, why don’t we go to your place? You do live alone, don’t you? Or do you still live with your momma?” she joked.

  “I have a roommate, but it’s cool. We can still go to my place if that’s what you want.”

  “Okay, let’s go. Oh, and I hope you have something to drink. If you don’t I have a bottle of Crown in my apartment; I can run inside and get it.”

  “Or we can just go inside your apartment and chill since we’re here.”

  “Uh, no problem with that either. Come on,” she said, jumping out of the car and darting toward her apartment with Nathaniel jogging behind like a lovesick puppy.

  Once inside she went straight to the kitchen. In her navy multi-colored romper that rested just above her upper thigh, she leaned over so Nathaniel could get a good view of her back assets, opened the bottom cabinet in the galley styled kitchen, and pulled out the bottle of Crown
.

  Still leaning over, she said, “Look up there and get two glasses please.” She stood up slowly, pointing toward the cabinet next to where he was standing, feeling the power of his gaze.

  He poured them each a glass of Crown on ice before she led him into the living room, turning on her iPad along the way. Jill Scott’s “Crown Royal on Ice” played in the background.

  “How coincidental is that?” he said in a deep throaty tone.

  “Yeah, how coincidental,” she smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist, closing the space between them.

  They sat down and talked and drank. Chynna actually enjoyed Nathaniel’s company. He was rather cool. If things didn’t work out between her and Dray, she would definitely give him a shot, or better yet even if things did work out for her and Dray, she could keep Nathaniel as her sidepiece. Until then, she planned to enjoy the evening and her life until Dray came to his senses.

  It had been a week and she hadn’t heard anything else about the accident, except what she read online, and that could be unreliable. The last she read, Dray was in a coma and his slutty, wanna-be girlfriend was still listed in stable condition. That meant the wench was okay. Dang, some things take time, she thought before turning her thoughts from Dray to Nathaniel.

  Nathaniel took the last swallow of his second drink, set it on the coffee table in front of him, and gathered her in his arms. His kisses were hot and heavy and even if she wanted to, which she didn’t, she couldn’t deny the desire mounting inside her. His hands caressed her thighs as they easily made their way underneath her romper. All the air expelled from his lungs as he gasped when his hands, expecting to feel her panties, instead met the softness of her womanly flesh. His kisses grew harder, sending fire through every nerve in her body. One hand swept to the back of her neck as he kissed the hollow of her throat. While he explored her mouth, she tasted him with a new hunger and unbridled desire. All he wanted to do was enjoy her totally and completely—which he did while Chynna imagined she was in Dray’s arms.

  9

  “Persuasion is better than force.” Aesop

  KeeKee contemplated talking to Cameron but Chynna had confided in her and as her best friend, KeeKee didn’t want to betray that trust. Chynna had experienced enough bad, heartbreaking things in her life. If she turned her back on her now, she wouldn’t have anyone. Then again, she thought about the consequences she faced if she didn’t go to the police about her friend and then somehow they discovered she knew about what Chynna had done—she could be in jail right alongside Chynna for harboring a fugitive. Was that a chance she was willing to take? The more she contemplated about what she should do, she realized there was no way she would turn Chynna in. She was so worried about Chynna to the point she could barely concentrate at work or at home.

  “Hey, you think that loony friend of yours had something to do with that hit and run? I mean, you did say she can get a little abusive at times,” Cameron asked KeeKee, but not sounding serious.

  “Yeah she can be, but Chynna wouldn’t dare do anything as terrible as running down Dray. She loves that man too much.” Part of her believed what she told Cameron, while the other side of her brain knew that her friend was capable of the vilest of acts.

  “They said they think it was a white or light gray late model car.”

  “And?” remarked KeeKee.

  “Well, Chynna has a pearl white Avalon.”

  “So? Like I said, she wouldn’t do anything like that. No telling who hit Dray. These kids in Memphis are wild and crazy. They have no regard for other people. You know that.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. I just know how quick Chynna can flip. But you’re right; I don’t think she’d do something like that either. I was just kidding when I suggested that.”

  KeeKee exhaled lightly, glad Cameron was convinced of Chynna’s innocence. If only it were true. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted. I’ve had a long day. That she-devil boss of mine is about to drive me up the wall with her outlandish demands.”

  “Babe, how many times do I have to tell you not to let her stress you out. Do your job to the best of your ability and let the chips fall where they may,” Cameron advised. “The worst thing that could happen is she could terminate you and that won’t be the end of the world either.”

  KeeKee eyed him like he was a stranger before she thought about what he said and answered. “You’re right. I can always just go out and find another job.”

  “You’re sounding sarcastic, but I’m telling you, if that door shuts, another one will open. You’re good at what you do. Why do you think you were awarded Tennessee’s Administrative Professional of the Year? I’ll tell you why; it’s because you know your stuff. You’ll have no problem getting transferred to another department if that’s what you want or finding a job outside of that company. I just don’t want you to be stressing, baby. Not about that job or your new boss, and definitely not about whatever Chynna has gotten herself involved in.” He walked up to her, positioned himself next to her, and lightly pressed his lips to hers. Her body became alive and she forgot all about work and Chynna’s dilemma.

  Chynna and Nathaniel woke up early Sunday morning and picked up where they’d left off in the wee hours of the morning. There was no denying it; Nathaniel was the bomb and she liked him; like it or not Dray better watch out or she was going to be the one replacing him, not the other way around.

  After their last round of lovemaking, they enjoyed one another in the shower, got dressed, and made plans to go to a restaurant for breakfast. Chynna kept her bathroom stocked with extra toiletries like toothbrushes and deodorant. She shared the items with Nathaniel. While he was brushing his teeth, Chynna’s cell phone rang.

  “Did you try to kill our brother?” the girl on the other end said.

  “What? Are you kidding me? Who the hell is this?”

  “You know darn well who this is. It’s Charlotte. And you heard what I said— did you try to kill my brother and his fiancé?”

  “Don’t you ever in life call me talkin’ this kinda bullcrap. Who do you think I am? Dray and that shaky, two-bit heffa, he calls himself in love with are not worth me letting their names come outta my mouth, let alone try to kill ‘em! I’m not the one, baby. Now miss me with your bull and don’t ever dial my digits again or you’ll be sorry. Don’t believe me, try me.” Chynna ended the call abruptly.

  “Whoa, you allright there, boo?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “What was that about?”

  “Nothing that’s worth even talkin’ bout. Let’s get out of here. I’m starving.” She walked up on Nathaniel, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.

  “Watch out or we’ll never get outta here to eat, pretty lady.” He smacked her on the bottom, kissed her again, and they left.

  Chynna was pissed Dray’s sister had the nerve to dial her number. If Nathaniel hadn’t been there, she would have really told Charlotte exactly where she could go and how to get there. She wasn’t sorry about a darn thing, especially not plowing down Dray’s sorry behind. If she could do it again, she would. At first she felt bad about what she’d done, but that feeling quickly passed. And now that Nathaniel proved that he could satisfy her needs, she couldn’t care less what the future held for her and Dray. If he wanted her back, he needed to get up out of that hospital bed and come knocking on her door on bended knee and beg her to come back. Then and only then would she consider giving him a second chance.

  Nathaniel didn’t know who the person on the other end of the phone was, but Chynna didn’t back down on telling whoever it was how she felt. He loved the fire in her. And thinking about last night….and this morning, this girl was da bomb.

  They had breakfast and then went back to his place where they spent the remainder of the morning and the early afternoon together before he drove Chynna back home.

  10

  “The one being carried does not realize how far away the town is.” Nigerian Proverb

  It had
been two weeks now since the hit-and-run. While MPD added the case to the pile-up of cases they already had, the importance of finding who ran down Draymond Hawkins and his fiancé seemed to grow increasingly less. Each time Dray’s family or Bethany asked about the status, there was nothing new to share. It was frustrating to see how little value even the police seemed to have for a black man’s life.

  Doctors slowly brought Dray out of the medical coma. So far so good. His chances of survival increased with each small milestone he made. He opened his eyes slowly and looked around the hospital room to see the faces of his mother, one of his siblings, and Bethany. His mind was foggy and confused, and he had no idea where he was and why it hurt like hell when he tried to move. Again, with his eyes, he scanned his body ever so slowly, seeing his legs and his arm in blue casts. An IV was in his right hand and he saw other tubes, one leading to his nose.

  “He’s awake!” Bethany cried out and rushed to Dray’s side, followed by his mother and his youngest sister. Bethany had been released from the hospital a few days after the accident. Though she wore a cast she was able to get around. That she was thankful for. Seeing Dray open his eyes, she was elated.

  What are they doing here and why are they crying like they’re at somebody’s funeral? Dray thought. Had he died and they were staring at his lifeless body? He could feel himself becoming frightened. As he tried to talk, words would not come out because his throat was obstructed by something. Tears came to his eyes. What’s happening? What’s wrong with me?