Ever After (Forbidden Love #1)

by Christina Lee

  “It is going fine, of course. How else would it be? It is a job like any other.” The words felt bitter and vile on his tongue. Merrick was more than a chore for Cas. He was…he was a friend…a lover. If they lived in another world, maybe he could be everything.

  “There is talk…”

  Cassius frowned. “What kind of talk? There has been gossip about me for a long time.” His pulse thumped heavily, punching against his skin. What would they do if someone had seen them? He would not allow this to hurt his prince.

  “Jealousy over your promotion.”

  Cas let out a heavy breath. “That talk has been there since the beginning. We have already discussed it.” He wasn’t bothered by such a thing.

  “Yes, but it’s increased. Some believe you think yourself too good for the rest of us. You do not interact with the staff.”

  “I never have,” he replied.

  “Yes, but even less so now. And you went riding with Prince Merrick as though…as though you and he were friends.”

  So that was truly what this was about. They believed Cassius too friendly with Merrick, and he was. Cas’s heartbeat increased again. The back of his neck began to sweat. “I am his valet. He needed me to accompany him on a ride. Should I have refused him?”

  “No.” Valor shook his head. “Of course not, and I am not gossiping. I thought you should be aware. Nothing more, nothing less. I…” Valor caught his eyes, a serious glint there. “I implore you again to be careful, my friend. Remember who it is you work for, yes, but remember who is your equal, who will be spending their days with you, who will be your neighbors, your friends… You cannot shelter yourself away from your peers for a fleeting connection to Prince Merrick.”

  There was no doubt in Cassius’s mind that Valor had his assumptions about him and Merrick. He bit his tongue to keep from lashing out and protecting the prince, which would be like an admission of guilt.

  Valor pushed to his feet. “Now, I’ve said my piece, and I shall go. I must get back to the kitchen before it is time to begin dinner. You will join us for a meal tonight?” he asked, and Cassius nodded.

  Quietly, his friend left, yet the truth of Valor’s words stayed with Cassius long afterward. He was not there to make friends. He had said that before. But Valor was right. Soon the prince would not be in his life, not in the same capacity, but the staff would. When he left the castle’s employ, it would be men and women such as the staff he’d associate with. They were his mother’s friends, the parents of Elizabeth and Emily’s friends…

  Despite how Merrick made him feel, he would do well to remember his place.

  Cassius bathed and then dressed for dinner. He ate with the rest of the staff, attempting to engage with them yet failing miserably. He was not good at making friends or opening up to people. Valor was in his life because he had pushed, and Prince Merrick…he did not know how that had happened. It had almost felt impossible not to let Merrick in.

  After dinner, he stayed and socialized. Valor caught his eyes from time to time, smiling at him in support.

  As the night went on, Cassius became more anxious. He and Merrick had made a plan to meet tonight. Cas was to sneak to his room at midnight. Like last time, if he was caught, he was to say the prince felt ill and wanted Cassius to draw him a bath.

  He and Valor retired to their chambers at ten. Cas bade him good night before he went to freshen up again. He did not know if the prince fancied his body tonight, but Cassius wanted to be ready for him if he did. He found he would be happy either way. His body flew when Merrick touched him, yet there was nothing like talking with him either. Cassius had never had that with anyone, certainly not someone he’d lain with, and not in friendship either. Not even with Valor.

  Cassius continued to stall until the clock rung twelve. Quietly, he slipped from his chamber, making the attempt to act normal and as though he belonged sneaking around the castle at night, but also moving with care because he would rather no one heard him.

  It had surprised him when Merrick had asked if he should come to Cassius, but Cas had reason to be in the prince’s quarters; the prince did not have reason to be in the servants’.

  His chest felt too tight, as it did the first time he went to Merrick’s room at night. The castle still made noises, but he did not see or hear anyone…not when he took the grand staircase, not as he went down the hallway lined with photographs and paintings of the royal line.

  The reality of it made his chest squeeze tighter. He was consorting with the prince of Evergreen. He was completely besotted with him. He would get hurt.

  Cassius shoved those truths to the back of his mind. He did not want to think of Merrick as the prince of Evergreen. To Cassius, he had become simply Merrick, and he craved any and every moment with Merrick he could collect.

  He opened Merrick’s chamber door slowly, as discussed. Merrick stood beside it, a smile as bright as the sun dancing on his face. It was Merrick who closed the door and clicked the lock into place.

  “You are okay? You did not see anyone?” Merrick ran his hands up and down Cassius’s arms as though if he had seen someone, they would have hurt him, and Merrick had to make sure he was safe.

  “I am fine. Absolutely no one.”

  Merrick’s smile grew before he leaned in and took Cassius’s lips. His tongue slipped into Cas’s mouth tentatively, gently. Cassius could not hold back the moan that rose from his chest and into Merrick’s mouth at the taste of him, the feel of him.

  “I am so glad you are here,” Merrick told him before he pressed another soft, more innocent kiss upon Cas’s lips.

  “There is nowhere else I want to be.”

  “You flatter me.” Merrick grabbed Cas’s hand. Cassius could not imagine how anything he said flattered Merrick, but he believed him. The prince was too honest for him not to. “Come. I shall teach you to play chess.”

  They’d spoken about it a few days before. Cassius did not know how to play, which had completely shocked Merrick.

  “You just want to play with me so you can beat me. I know your wicked ways now,” Cassius teased. Merrick’s competitive streak somehow enamored the prince to him even more.

  “Of course. Is there another reason?” Merrick answered before they both laughed.

  These moments were…incredible, surprising, forbidden, and Cassius loved them. They spent close to an hour and a half attempting a game of chess. It was more complicated than Cassius would have thought, but their time was also spent laughing and talking.

  Afterward, they lazed together on Merrick’s bed, his sketchbook in front of them. Merrick sketched quick pictures of men who looked like the two of them, and of horses, and Cassius wrote short stories to match. These were simple moments, yet not something Cassius had ever imagined for himself with Merrick or anyone else.

  When they were done, Merrick lay on his back, Cassius beside him on his stomach, looking down at the prince.

  “I do not want you to go. Is it wrong to wish for a whole night? Even just one whole night to pretend?” Merrick asked the words that lived in Cassius’s chest.

  “No, it is not wrong.”

  “I only… I want to know what it is like to be normal. To spend a day and a night with my lover where we do not have to hide, where we can just be like everyone else. Where I could hold your hand and dance with you and…” He shook his head. “I sound foolish. Forgive me.”

  “No.” Cassius fingered Merrick’s hair. “You do not sound foolish. It is my dream as well.”

  “We shall dream together, then.”

  Cassius nodded before he leaned down, pressing his lips upon the prince’s. Merrick’s tongue sneaked into his mouth, and Cassius welcomed it, sucked it, offered his own to Merrick. He pulled Cassius on top of him as their tongues continued to tangle and Cassius fingered Merrick’s hair. His hands cupped Cassius’s buttocks as they fed each other, quenched each other’s thirst with the pleasure of the moment.

  They kissed until Cassius’s jaw hurt and
he leaned far enough away that he could look down at the prince again. He touched a lock of his hair. “Please do not cut it,” Cassius asked.

  “If you do not want me to, I won’t. I will keep it long every day of the rest of my life because you asked me to.”

  “You flatter me.” Cassius returned what the prince had said to him hours earlier. “Though I am not worthy.”

  Merrick’s brows furrowed. “Do you believe yourself not worthy because I am a prince? That means nothing to me.”

  “No,” Cassius answered seriously. “Just because you are you. There is something…magical about you.” He shook his head. “And now I sound foolish.”

  “We can be foolish together.”

  This time it was Merrick who kissed him until reluctantly, Cassius had to force himself from the prince’s bed, because no matter how much they dreamed it, anything more than a few stolen hours would never happen for them.

  23

  Merrick

  Merrick sat near the end of the long dining table, enjoying a quiet breakfast with his father. They were the only two royals who didn’t have pressing matters to attend to that morning. The king had just finished relaying information from his meeting with the chief consul, regarding new environmental safeguards in place for Evergreen’s mineral resources. Throughout history, other countries had tried to invade and harvest from their land. In response, Evergreen’s top-notch military now protected certain mineral-rich areas from poachers so that the kingdom could continue its fair and equal trade with its allies.

  Merrick’s father always kept him abreast of important matters in case the worst were to happen. Merrick usually lobbied for Marjorie to also be present for such meetings, but this morning his mother had asked for her assistance with party preparations for the masquerade dance.

  “Your mother is certainly enjoying planning for this ball,” his father remarked over his cup of tea. Merrick could tell by his expression that he did not completely approve of all the hullabaloo.

  “And you, Father?” Merrick asked, wondering exactly where this conversation might be headed.

  “I wish this whole matter could be done privately,” he replied after biting into a Danish pastry. “To call attention to the prince’s bachelor status only makes it a bit of a spectacle.”

  Merrick squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as he felt that same pressure in his chest. “According to Marjorie, she’s enjoying the speculation being removed from Charles’s courtship of her. For the moment at least, the whole kingdom is wondering who I might choose to dance with first.”

  With any ball, the first dance was a bit of a ceremony because it set a precedent, and in this case, might also show the prince’s preference. Merrick sighed. Why couldn’t it all be much simpler?

  “Well, I suppose the press might not think us so out of touch after all, not when your mother has invited every debutante in creation.”

  “Really?” Merrick’s gaze snapped to his father’s. “Not only aristocrats or royals?”

  He’d admit to purposely ignoring any of the details his mother had brought up the past couple of days. He did not want to deal with it until he was forced to.

  “Your mother felt we needed to expand the pond, so to speak, since you have yet to set your sights on anyone we’ve chosen for you.”

  “I’m sorry, Father,” Merrick rushed out. “I’m not trying to—”

  “It’s all right, son,” he replied, patting his hand. “If the ball ends up working in our favor, it will be a good thing. If it brings us a royal wedding and an heir, I’m all for caving to your mother’s whims.”

  Merrick’s heart pounded in his ears. “You’ll already have those things coming and soon if Marjorie gets her wish.”

  His father gave him the same stern look he always did whenever Merrick tried to deflect. Marjorie was not the direct heir unfortunately, but Merrick did not see why she shouldn’t be. Why should there continue to be such a rigid patriarchal system of monarchy? Should they not change with the times? Women were always the stronger of the two sexes anyway—maybe not always physically, but since when had that made a bit of difference?

  Regardless, it would be no use to dream of such things that could never become his reality. His mother was going to so much trouble to find him a match. He would need to choose a lady the evening of the ball. Maybe there would be someone smart and kind and modest. Someone who loved animals and children and the arts as much as him.

  Someone like Cassius.

  Remembering the time, Merrick stood abruptly, brushing any stray crumbs from his slacks and crisp cream shirt. He was able to dress more casually today, which always suited him better. “I must be going. We are set to be on the road soon.”

  He felt lighter already. He and Cassius would be attending a horse-rehabilitation camp for children with grave illnesses. Plus, it was an afternoon away from the castle.

  “Remind your valet that there is a storm looming to the west,” his father replied, his gaze toward the window.

  “There is always a storm threatening in Evergreen, Father,” Merrick replied with a chuckle. “Besides, I don’t want to disappoint the children.”

  “Yes, of course, it is always about the children,” his father commented, his eyes softening. “In many ways, you are already a better man than me.”

  Something that felt like syrup stuck in Merrick’s throat. If only his father knew…how would he regard him then?

  “I am quite certain I can never measure up.” He bowed his head at his king before heading toward the door. A footman held it open for him.

  When he met Cassius in the grand foyer, Cassius dipped his head in formality, but Merrick felt more eyes on them than usual. Certainly, it was because staff had lined up, taking instruction from the queen as she walked about with the planner, but Merrick noted how several pairs of eyes seemed to track him and his valet.

  Harris was standing near the main entrance, and he cleared his throat dramatically as if to give his staff the hint to stop staring. If Merrick felt pricklier about it, he might’ve said something publicly to scold them, but he was generally more reserved and preferred to attend to such matters quietly. Besides, they were only human.

  As soon as he slid into the back seat and Cassius drove away from the castle, he breathed a sigh of relief. “Have the staff been giving you trouble?”

  “What do you mean?” Cassius asked, meeting his gaze in the mirror.

  “I think you know what I mean,” he replied, feeling frustration itching beneath his skin. He had the urge to protect Cassius, but he didn’t want to let him go. Not yet. “Are they gossiping about you?”

  Cassius sighed. “Valor says they question why we seem so friendly. Apparently, they also consider me somewhat of a snob.”

  “I’m sorry, Cassius,” Merrick replied with a wince. “I do not want to cause any rifts.”

  Cassius simply shrugged.

  “Does that not bother you?” Merrick asked with widened eyes.

  “I’m here to do a job. To provide for my family,” Cassius remarked. “I’ve always been…choosy with my friendships.”

  That was how he and Cassius were the same. Private. Selective. Maybe protective was the word.

  “Does Valor know—of your preferences?”

  “Yes. But I can trust him.” Their gazes clashed in the mirror. “I also have not told him anything about us. That is our story to keep.”

  Merrick panted out a breath even as his pulse jumped at the words.

  Our story. One I will treasure always.

  An hour into the ride, as they drove through Wandermere, Merrick noticed the same park as on their last trip to the orphanage but didn’t call attention to it this time. Neither did Cassius, as he seemed lost in deep thought.

  By the time they arrived at the horse camp, the snow was falling in thick, fluffy drops, clinging to the branches of the barren trees, which made them look like magical ice sculptures.

  As they watched the children ride the ponies i
n the large indoor paddock, the lead counselor explained how animals helped the children stay calm and soothed their nerves.

  Merrick leaned closer to Cassius. “Did you enjoy riding Tabby the other morning?”

  Cassius smiled. “Very much so. She is a fine mare.”

  Merrick had trouble dragging his gaze away, but he knew he must. “Good, we can ride out again. Maybe even—”

  “I’m not sure if we should,” Cassius replied in a rush, his fingers gripping the wooden slat.

  Merrick’s eyebrows drew together. “It is bothering you—their gossip.”

  Cassius shook his head. “I do not care about me. It is you I want to protect.”

  Just as Merrick fought the urge to reach for his hand, the director of the program approached Merrick to discuss the royal family’s donation of colts and fillies to the camp.

  Afterward they ate lunch with the children, some of whom suffered from head injuries or chronic illnesses, and it was a sobering moment for Merrick to be reminded again just how fleeting life could be. He made sure to speak to each of the children individually and give them his complete attention. Their bravery was something to marvel at. Merrick wasn’t sure if he could be as courageous.

  The director announced that they would have to cut the program short due to the weather conditions. “Thank you again,” the director remarked, shaking Merrick’s hand as Cassius held open the door. “You’d do well to head back to the castle as soon as possible.”

  But as Merrick slid into the back seat, a certain melancholy settled in his chest about returning to Pinewood. “How do you feel about driving in these conditions?”

  “Fine,” Cassius replied, meeting his gaze. “We live in Evergreen. This is not anything we haven’t seen before.”

  Merrick steadied his breath. “Before we return, would you like to stop someplace?”

  “Certainly. Whatever you wish,” Cassius replied in a hesitant voice. “Where to?”