The Light in the Darkness 1

by Carla Louise Robinson

  Cecilia beamed. Her sister’s approval meant the world to her; while she knew she could not beg to earn her parents’ or Eliana’s, it meant more to her knowing that the person she loved and trusted the most was there for her, no matter what consequences may lay.

  William, who had been pretending to be engrossed in the ship’s paper – the Atlantic Bulletin, whose front cover reminded everyone of the ship’s pool and that they needed to place bets before Sunday – put it down, clearing his throat, “Should we head to the Boat Deck? We already promised the Astors we would meet them ten minutes ago.”

  “Yes, my love,” Georgiana responded, reaching for his hand. Cecilia wished she would be able to reach for Henry’s hand so; perhaps one day, if she were lucky, and God was feeling favourable.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Friday, 12th April, 1912

  Georgiana

  Georgiana was glad to be back in the Café; it had a lovely atmosphere, and she relished being able to choose whatever she fancied. Caviar was brought out first, of which she ate happily; she had ordered a lobster with a seafood cocktail sauce for the main course, with a million different other sides to accompany it.

  Despite her hearty breakfast – she’d had baked apples coated with cinnamon and warm, creamed porridge – she was suddenly ravenous; she wasn’t sure if it had been the walk along the Boat Deck, where she had spied a beautiful woman, wearing a green silk dress she admittedly envied, arguing unseemly with some common man wearing horrid brown overalls; she wondered what the woman’s name was. It was strange to Georgiana to see a woman dressed so prominently behaving so scandalously, and she found herself somewhat surprised she did not recognise such an obviously well-to-do woman. However, when her voice had been raised – something about the young man being “uncouth” – she had sounded American, (which, in Georgiana’s opinion, appeared to explain the matter), where she had enjoyed gossiping with Madeleine and laughing as Kitty barked happily at the children who were playing spinning tops nearby, or if it was the sea air, and the knowledge that the journey was hitting its last legs, with the ship gaining more and more steam each day. There wasn’t anything around them but clear, blue water.

  Whatever the reason, Georgiana was decidedly famished, and ate as much as her corset would allow her to (which really was not very much, she thought, and if she was to continue with such lavish meals, she would need Jessop to loosen her corset).

  Cecilia had been dismayed to discover Henry was not present on the Boat Deck, and had, in turn, declined the invitation to dine with them, citing that she needed a rest and was full after the morning’s feast. Georgiana could not help but wonder if it were true; she hoped her sister would not be so reckless as to meet him privately again.

  “We will name him Jack, of course, if it’s a boy,” Madeleine confessed. “Oh, I do hope it’s a boy. I’m certain Vincent will become infatuated and forgiving once the baby’s born. He’s such a lovely, kind-hearted boy,” Madeleine told her. “He’s had a hard time. He’s very sensitive, you see. But he’s so loving, so kind. So much like his father, in that regard. I’m certain this baby will be the bond we need to unite us. I want to be a mother to Vincent the way Ava never was.” She touched her belly lovingly, and asked Georgiana to do the same. “He’s kicking now. Can you feel?” she asked, smiling brightly. Madeleine reminded Georgiana of Cecilia; both carried an innocence about them that could not be shaken. They seemed to care for the simple things in life; Georgiana hated the way most of the passengers looked down on the couple, when it was apparent to all who had eyes that they were deeply in love. She wished she could be so easily pleased. She used to be. Georgiana used to be carefree and happy, thinking nothing could change her.

  And then her parents had threatened to disown her, shaking her fundamental belief in family to the very core. She wasn’t sure how, but she could feel a part of her had changed. Hardened. She’d noticed it in the way she’d spoken to Celia; she’d been harsher than she once would have been.

  Georgiana shuddered to think of the scandal her sister would wrought if she truly meant to follow her heart’s desire; the Vanderbilts were unlikely to take the affront lightly, and her Papa would disown her as soon as she’d uttered the words that she would not marry a Vanderbilt, in favour for a man her father deemed common. She hoped money had not yet exchanged hands; the Vanderbilts request for the money to be returned would insult her father’s fragile ego.

  “You have a very glow about you,” commented Georgiana, as she bit into her lemon tart. “I do long to be with child.”

  “You will be, sure enough,” Madeleine soothed. “I was just lucky, that’s all. I can scarcely believe I am with child myself; I assure you. And while I would not wish for it any other way, in some ways, it would have been nice to have Jack to myself, just for a little bit longer. I just hope this brings me closer to Vincent and does not part us any further. Ava, forgive me, was not always … present. He dotes on Jack, the way a son should a father. But I am so close in age, and the scandal the divorce wrought … I wish I could properly convey to him that, while I could not pretend to be his mother, I do care for him so. He’s a kind soul, Vincent. He’s almost too sweet for this world, his father’s son, through and through. He reminds me a little of Mr Ismay, to be sure.”

  “Mr Ismay?” Georgiana raised a brow. While she was aware of Mr Ismay’s prominence, and she was aware he occupied the suites on the port side of the ship that were mirror copies of the Gresham family’s, she knew little else of the man. She hadn’t yet spied him on their journey. Some people – like the man in C-78 – had not yet left their cabin. It really was strange to take a journey and not enjoy the amenities; but perhaps he’d been touched with the mal de mer. At times, it could even take the most seasoned veteran.

  “Yes, Mr Ismay,” Madeleine continued. “He’s a very reclusive man, Jack says. He does not want for attention or fuss; yet both have sought after him. He has not married, but I’ve heard he has a lady friend he cares deeply for. He’s a kind soul, truly. People mistake his shyness for rudeness, just like they do with Vincent. Poor Mr Ismay is too caring. He doesn’t even wish to own any of this, did you know? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. It’s not public knowledge. He plans to retire within the year; he’s just overseeing a smooth transition of the White Star Line at the moment. He’s a perfectionist, just the way Vincent is, and wants everything to be just so.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Georgiana replied neutrally. She wasn’t sure of what she should say, or if there was anything to say at all. Much of the news had been a shock to her; and while she was aware of Mr Ismay’s prominence, she didn’t know what he owned or didn’t own. She didn’t even know his retirement was meant to be that of secrecy, and she wondered why he couldn’t just freely announce he no longer wanted to be the owner of anything? He was likely rich enough, having owned such a vessel.

  “I do not think it’s knowledge that everyone possesses,” Madeleine informed her. “Pray, enough about me! You’ve let me carry on far too much! Tell me about your family. I saw your sister cast a ghastly scene last night. What on God’s green earth was that all about?”

  Georgiana laughed. “Oh, Eliana. She has more mindlessness than sense, I’m afraid, and her moods are ghastly.”

  Madeleine’s eyes widened. “Oh, my dear heavens, that sounds truly awful.”

  Georgiana shrugged. “She’s had several losses, you see. She was always … uptight, one could say, and delicate in her moods. But her and George have not always been so lucky in their pregnancies; and with each loss, her melancholy takes her deeper into the abyss. I scarcely recognise her myself these days. Oft times, I even think unsisterly thoughts.”

  “I am sorry,” Madeleine soothed, resting her hand and Georgiana’s arm. “It must be difficult for her. I could not console myself if …” she pressed her hand tightly to her belly. “If I weren’t pregnant, I do not think I could understand your sister’s behaviour. But having my baby, my little Bean … it’s ch
anged everything, Gigi. I’ve never loved anyone more, not even Jack, and I would give my life to be with him a hundred times over. I do not know if I could ever recover if something happened to Jack, I really do not; however, I am sure and certain I would never recover if something ever happened to this baby.”

  “Do not fear it,” Georgiana replied, trying not to let Madeleine’s words get to her. It doesn’t excuse her behaviour, Georgiana thought fiercely. Yet, in a way, she couldn’t deny there was truth to her friend’s words. “You have a strength and grace about you. Your baby is strong, just like his mother.”

  Madeleine glowed. “Flatterer,” she whispered. “But thank you, Georgiana. I do appreciate you so. Remember what I said about Eliana, Gigi.”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Friday, April 12th, 1912

  Georgiana

  Georgiana had insisted to Lord Gresham that they dine with the Astors and Maggie Brown tonight; her father had been both interested and displeased. He found Maggie a frightfully crude woman – “Ghastly mouth” – though he was undecided on the Astors. He enjoyed the hotel franchise Jack Astor both ran and inherited, so his respect was there, though he despised new money and Americans.

  In the end, he had consented, deciding the dinner would be “undoubtedly interesting”, and perhaps the dinner could regain them honour after Eliana’s “dastardly, unfeminine behaviour” displayed from the night before.

  Georgiana was excited; she liked the feeling of gaining friends on board the ship. It made the time pass more quickly; and she’d enlisted Madeleine’s help with Cecilia, confessing her sister to be interested in the photographer, Mr Henry Hamilton. Madeleine’s eyes had twinkled, and she’d smiled knowingly at the suggestion. “Why, I sound just the minx your sister does!” she had giggled, and then she had promised to convince Jack to ask him to join. “Your family won’t be any the wiser, and Jack will not sell us out,” she had informed Georgiana. “He’s a good man, Jack. He’s a romantic at heart, you see. Ava tried to take that from him, and for a time, he believed she had. But then he met me, and for the first time in his life, he realised a romantic love was possible for him. I dreamt of Princes, to be sure, just as any other girl does. I used to dream of marrying the Prince of Wales – oh, he is a handsome devil, isn’t he, that Prince David? – but then I met Jack, and suddenly, I knew what love was. If I can help your dear sister in any way, I would be so delighted. It is nice to know I have a friend on board that I can confide in; so many have turned their backs. There are people here, that I believed I would love as if they were sisters, who pretend we’ve never spoken, distancing themselves from whatever horrendous insult they think I’ve inflicted.”

  Georgiana, though grateful for Madeleine’s forthrightness, sadly knew precisely what she meant. Even people Madeleine had once counted as friends seemed to turn their backs on her; she had tearfully regaled that one of her socialite friends, Theodosia Appleton, had refused even to greet Madeleine. “We were once so close,” Madeleine had confessed, tears in her eyes. “We attended each season together, Theo and I. I cannot believe she would turn her back on me. We were as close as women could be that aren’t blood. And now, she tells people she never cared for me. What kind of person does that? What kind of friend shuns someone so callously, with no regard? What kind of human abandons a person they love, just because things are difficult? And worse, not only lies to your face, but lies to the faces around you? It’s like I never knew Theo at all. She’s but a stranger.” Madeleine had begun crying then, and Georgiana had awkwardly hugged her, not knowing what to do. People in England simply didn’t cry, and if they did, it was in the confines of one’s own house, so no one could see their folly. “I don’t understand what I’ve ever done to deserve this, Gigi,” she’d wept. “What is my crime? Loving Jack? I haven’t wanted to take him away from anything, and yet I’m scorned as the other woman. Did you know that Jack had to pay to find someone to marry us? No one wanted to. All we wanted was to wed, to live as man and wife, and all I’ve found since has been cruelty after cruelty. Do you know how it feels, Gigi, to have people whisper as you walk past them, knowing it’s you they’re discussing? Having hundreds of eyes linger on you, and on your belly? To have your friends turn their backs on you, as if you’ve betrayed them, too craven to even explain why? I’m so tired, Gigi. I keep hoping the baby will change things … that people’s minds will change when they see the love Jack and I have created.”

  Georgiana had found Madeleine’s innocence sweet, though naïve. She wondered how the poor girl had survived so long without realising the nature of the very people they socialised with. Georgiana had long learnt that those in a privileged position kept it by forcing down those that were not; they lived for scandal, seeking to bring down any house that was not theirs, while hiding in hope that no one would discover their skeletons. Once a reputation was destroyed, it affected the whole house; some houses had not recovered after centuries due to one person’s indiscretions. They lived in a world where reputation meant more than money – though barely – and each person lived to see another destroyed. Georgiana would not trust anyone more than her family, and Jessop, though she knew that her father and Eliana would not speak to her if she brought ruin upon them. Her mother and Cecilia were different matters, though they would be forced to obey her father’s commands. Regardless, she had sent a note with Jessop to the purser to be delivered to Henry’s room:

  Mr Henry Hamilton,

  You are cordially invited to dine with the Gresham Family tonight in the Ritz. Please observe forbearance and silence, and all will be clear quickly. Hope to see you tonight,

  G.G

  She stood, admiring her slender figure – though with a hint of sadness at the flatness her stomach bestowed, and she tried to be gracious that God had granted her wish to spend some more time with William (though did He have to heed every thought that entered Georgiana’s mind?) – in a beautiful black silk dress with an Emerald green underlay. Lace embroidered her entire dress, ending at her elbows, where long, black satin gloves reached.

  She placed a touch of perfume oil behind her ear, before reaching for William’s arm as he escorted her to dinner.

  Georgiana hoped it would be less adventurous than the previous night’s.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Friday, April 12th, 1912

  Cecilia

  Cecilia tried not to glow with happiness over the fact that her sister had convinced the Astors to invite Henry to join them for a second dinner, especially as the first had been so disastrous; Papa was so far unaware that it would be an extended party tonight, and she hoped that she could feign adequate surprise at his appearance. If she were successful, the blame would never be laid at her feet. With any luck, Cecilia’s father’s anger would be directed to vulgar Americans who dared to invite themselves – and others – to a family function. Albert wouldn’t, of course, say this until after the degustation had concluded.

  When Cecilia entered The Ritz, she was surprised – but pleased – to see that Henry was already sitting; it took everything within her not to run to him. She imagined being able to wrap her arms around him and kissing him as much as she might wish to. She was desperate for his lips to meet hers again. She pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to shriek with happiness, as she walked towards a large table.

  “What’s he doing here, sitting at the table I reserved? The cheeky bugger.”

  “Albert,” Eleonora responded crossly. “Be kind. It could be at the Astors’ invitation, or Maggie Brown’s. You know how tenacious she is.”

  “Exactly,” Georgiana chimed in. “I dined with Jack and Madeleine at luncheon, and Jack was very interested in Henry’s pictures. He and Madeleine have a fondness for the moving films, Papa. He told us he saw a movie that was eleven minutes long! I could scarcely believe it. How can one have pictures move for such a time? More importantly, who would watch something so long? Surely it gets boring after a time.”

  “Hmm.” Albert did app
ear convinced.

  “Don’t be such a spoilsport, Daddy,” purred Georgiana. “He’s an interesting man, is he not? If it had not been for Eliana’s ghastly behaviour” – she shot her sister a fevered look – “you would have enjoyed his company. You found him interesting, did you not?”

  “Pray, you say you dined with them,” Eleonora asked. “Did they mention the invitation to you?”

  Cecilia was surprised when her sister did not flush at all; her usual giveaway when lying, which was not her forte. “No, they did not,” Georgiana replied. “They asked if I had been in Mr Henry’s acquaintance long, and we discussed last night’s dinner. They questioned Eliana’s behaviour more than any interest in Mr Henry, Papa. They thought her queer.”

  Eliana blushed, and she shot a glare at her sister, though her father looked nonplussed. “They commented on Eliana’s behaviour?”

  Cecilia tried not to smile; she hoped Eliana would receive her comeuppance for her mistreatment of Henry; Eliana would loathe to meet her father’s wrath once more.

  “They did, Father,” Georgiana replied. “They were … disturbed. They asked if she were … well.”

  “Disturbed?”

  “Well?”

  “Well, after last night, it’s clear she isn’t.”

  “Cecilia!”

  “Pray, my darling, what did you say?” Eleonora looked at Georgiana with concern.

  “Oh, Mama, do not fear. I told Madeleine in confidence of Eliana’s moods. I explained that she … she had suffered losses. Madeleine told me that she could scarcely imagine anything more painful. She said she understood Eliana’s madness entirely.”