Aunt Daisy's Letter

by S J Crabb

  By now even the Germans are listening, and I wonder if they can speak English because they appear to be following every word. Even Finn looks interested in my tale, and I feel like some kind of motivational speaker as they look at me with interest. “Well, it appears that she didn’t achieve some pretty important things that she wanted to and so, I’ve decided that I need to try and do them instead. You see, I am very much like my Aunt and have been offered a huge promotion.”

  “Congratulations, Lily, what is it?” Felicity’s eyes shine as I say proudly, “I’m to be the editor-in-chief of Designer Homes - on a budget.”

  Felicity squeals, but the men look unimpressed. Finn just smirks and James looks a little bewildered until Felicity screams. “I love that magazine, the tips in there are amazing. Wow, I can’t believe I’m sitting here with somebody famous. Quick, take a selfie of us, I can’t cope.”

  She’s not the only one because I feel decidedly uncomfortable as she totally fan girls on me. Is this what I’m to expect? I certainly hope not because I’m no different to any of the people here, so I say a little awkwardly, “Um… anyway, that’s why I came here. This is one of the things she wanted to do in the letter. Camp out under the stars. In fact, this could tick several boxes off the list and I get to do it all in a couple of days.”

  “But why the rush, surely you have a lifetime to do the things she wanted?”

  Felicity looks confused and I say sadly, “I think that’s what she thought. I mean, she wasn’t old when she had a heart attack and died. She was only in her early 50s and probably thought she had years ahead of her. Her job took most of her time, so she didn’t get to do half the things she wanted to. Well, I have exactly four weeks before I fall down the same rabbit hole and take on a high-powered job of my own and I intend on completing the list in record time so I have no regrets in life.”

  Suddenly, Finn laughs loudly. “You think you’re going to do all those things in four weeks and then you can tick the boxes and consider yourself happy. I’m pretty sure there was a reason she failed to do them in the first place.”

  Bristling with indignation, I say coldly, “Which is?”

  He shrugs and throws another twig on the fire. “Because doing something properly and for it to have meaning, you need to plan things and savour them. You can’t just power your way through someone else’s list and think you’ll gain great happiness as a result.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because life doesn’t work that way. What if you do everything on the list and are still unhappy? Would you make a new one and then another until you find what you’re looking for? Doing someone else’s list means nothing. If anything, I’d probably take a deep look inside myself and decide what it is I want out of life, not take the word of another as gospel.”

  There’s an awkward silence until Felicity says loudly, “Have you got the list? Tell us what some of them are, maybe we can help.”

  James nudges her and says roughly, “Quiet, Felicity, don’t get involved.”

  Reaching for my bag, I pull out the list and say sharply, “Well, for your information, I think her list is rather impressive. She knew a lot about everything my Aunt and I’m pretty sure if it’s not on her list, it’s not worth doing.”

  Felicity looks over my shoulder and gasps. “Have sex with a stranger on a beach. Wow, that one’s ticked already.”

  All eyes turn to me and I feel my cheeks flame with embarrassment and say hastily, “Actually, that one was already ticked.”

  I laugh nervously, “Um… luckily.”

  I daren’t look at the others and suddenly find the flames of the fire, and I have something in common due to the heat spreading through me right now.

  Felicity laughs. “This list is amazing. Travel the world. Ooh, I’d like to do that.”

  James rolls his eyes as Finn laughs out loud. “What, in four weeks, you’ll be lucky?”

  Feeling annoyed, I snap. “Well, obviously some items may take a little longer but at least I’ve made a start.”

  “It says here paint a naked man. This is crossed off, was that you, or her?”

  Felicity looks intrigued and I feel embarrassed as I say in a small voice, “Not exactly.”

  They all look interested, so I laugh as if it’s nothing. “Well, it turned out they painted me. I kind of got it wrong and ended up being the vase of flowers as they say.”

  Felicity suppresses a laugh and I see Finn smirking at my embarrassment. The Germans appear confused and then burst out laughing when Finn says something in their mother tongue. James looks a little disgusted and I say quickly, “Well, if you must know it was quite liberating, actually. Obviously, once I got over my initial nerves, I found it to be a worthwhile experience. For all you know, I am hanging in a gallery somewhere being admired by all sorts.”

  Grabbing the list that appears to have made it around the circle at supersonic speed, I tuck it away and say quickly, “Anyway, enough about me, somebody else speak – please.”

  Grinning, Felicity says, “Well, I’m Felicity and I’m a tax adviser from Wigan. James, my fiancé, is also a tax advisor and we spend our free time trying to do physical activities to compensate for being desk bound most of the day. We don’t have any pets or children, or hobbies really, unless you count walking in the country at the weekends. Most of our spare time is spent cleaning the house and doing odd jobs because we work during the week. We have two holidays a year, one like this and one in James’s parents caravan in Whitby. We are not married and probably never will be because there is always something more important to spend the money on.”

  Her voice trails off and James cuts in, “Yes, everything that Felicity said but she forgot one thing.”

  She looks at him in surprise and he says briskly, “We share the same hopes and dreams and one day hope to retire from the civil service and journey around Britain in a camper van.”

  As I look at him, I notice he appears more animated than I have ever seen him before, but Felicity looks as if she’s just chewed a wasp. Seeing the smug look on his face, I wonder if he knows Felicity is obviously not singing from the same hymn sheet. Even I can tell she’s unhappy, and it’s no wonder. Goodness, she needs a bucket list and fast.

  Finn coughs and says quickly, “Well, I’m Finn, short for Finley and I spend most of my time outdoors. When I’m home, which isn’t often, I live in a small village in Kent. I don’t have any dependents, which is largely due to my profession. I’m here because I’m filling in for my brother who had the cheek to actually go and book a holiday with his girlfriend to Bermuda and needed me to take his place so you weren’t disappointed.”

  His words surprise me because I thought this was his profession, but before I can ask what it is, one of the Germans leans forward and says in broken English, “My name is Ryker and this is Walter, my friend. We came to...” He turns to Finn and says something in German and Finn says, “They came to make up the numbers. They’re both good friends of mine and were over here on business and at a loose end this weekend. This way you get your trip and we spend a weekend outdoors.”

  Before we can ask anything else, he jumps up and says quickly, “Ok, it’s time to get some food. We’ve brought some rations and Walter, as it happens, is rather a good chef. He’ll be responsible for cooking and I’d like a volunteer to help him.”

  Felicity’s arm shoots up and James nudges her, looking annoyed. Finn nods and says, “Ok, Felicity and Walter are the chefs and James and Lily can wash up afterwards. Ryker and I will attend to camp maintenance and keep the fire burning and keep a look out.”

  “What for, is this um… safe?” I look around me fearfully and Finn shakes his head. “Relax, it’s not the jungle you know, just the New Forest. The only things likely to disturb us are the horses and cows that wander around freely. As that’s the last thing we want trampling over us, we will need someone to look out for them.”

  As everyone jumps to their feet, I follow James and say lightly, “Well then, it�
��s just you and me. What do you want to do, wash or dry?”

  He looks at me with pity in his eyes and says slowly, “As you will probably realise, things are very different out here. Firstly, there is no sink or running water, so we need to locate an alternative before it gets dark. Now, I suggest you look around for a container that we can use to transport some water here from a nearby stream, while I consult the map to locate the nearest one.”

  He turns away, and I have never felt like punching anyone so hard in my life.

  Before I can even move, I feel a hand on my arm and a voice sounding a lot gentler than I’m accustomed to, “Here, it’s a foldup bucket we use for washing up. Take that, it should do the trick.”

  Looking up, I see Finn looking at me almost normally and it surprises me how grateful I am for just this one small act of kindness. For a second it must show on my face because he says softly, “Now, I know you probably have one already stuffed in your case of many surprises, but it would be a shame to get it wet. To be honest, I wouldn’t put it past you to have a working dishwasher in there either, but maybe this is the simplest thing for now.”

  He winks and then heads off, leaving me speechless. Did he just try and make a joke with me? Goodness, I must have sat too close to the fire because I’m delirious. For a moment there, I thought he was actually human.

  ♥14

  I don’t believe it. I’ve just had the best meal I think I’ve ever eaten, and it was prepared for me by a German and a tax advisor from Wigan. They have outdone themselves because the few simple ingredients that Walter fried up in his camping frying pan, was as good as anything a Michelin starred restaurant could have served.

  There was even a small bottle of wine that we divided between us all and as the fire danced in the chill of the night and the conversation echoed around me full of good humour and interest, I can’t remember ever feeling this happy.

  James and I wash up in the little bucket, using water boiled on the fire that we found in a nearby stream. It is back to basics, and I can certainly see the appeal of it now. One by one my fellow campers retire to their tents and as I crawl into mine, I congratulate myself on a plan coming together.

  Somehow, I manage to shrug out of my now filthy clothes and wriggle into the onesie I bought for the occasion. Then I pull on Heidi’s happy socks and knitted bobble hat that she presented me with the day before I came and turn to my cosmetics bag. Quickly, I cleanse, tone and moisturise and apply one of those paper face masks to detoxify my skin. Then I spray around my calming lavender sleep spray and crawl inside my polka dot sleeping bag, before reaching for my phone and plugging it into the first of four portable chargers that I brought with me.

  As I check my texts and emails, I could be forgiven for thinking I’m tucked up in bed in my flat. I don’t feel cold and it’s really quite snuggly in my one-man tent with room for a wheelie case. In fact, I can use the hard shell of the case as a table and proceed to text my loved ones before turning in for the night.

  The first one is to mum.

  Lily

  Hey, all is good and I’m safe and strangely loving the experience. I hope all is well at home and the cake you made for the vicar didn’t give him food poisoning like it did the undertaker. xoxo

  My next one is to Heidi and I take a quick photo of my happy sock cocooned feet and another of my masked face showcasing the bobble hat.

  Lily

  Hey, babe. The mission is going well. All tucked up in designer comfort, congratulating myself on another tick off the list. Just so you know, there is a seriously gorgeous guy here who will be in my dreams tonight. I’ll try and take a photo of him tomorrow so you can see what I mean. Take it from me, you are not going to believe this guy. Seriously, I could tick several boxes with him, if you know what I mean! xoxo

  I add a winking face emoji and a heart and check my Instagram feed. I am pleasantly surprised to see I have five new followers, and as I check out their profiles; it amuses me to see they are the camping sort. This is great, I’m now tapping into a whole new audience, which makes me think a feature on designer camping on a budget may not be such a wild idea.

  After enjoying a few random Facebook posts, I decide to try and get some sleep because to be honest, all this fresh air has knocked me for six. My arms are aching from pulling the case and my feet haven’t stopped throbbing. Luckily, I had a tube of antiseptic cream in my emergency first aid kit and I smeared it all over the cuts and blisters those stupid snow boots caused. I think I drift off to sleep with the promise of seriously investing in some designer walking boots if I ever do this again. I wonder if Cath Kidston do them?

  I’m not even sure what time it is when I hear sounds coming from outside the tent. They seep into my subconscious as I sleep and rouse me from a lovely dream where I’m leading an expedition in space with Finn as my assistant. I can hear a rustling noise coming from outside my tent and freeze in fear. Something’s out there!

  My heart starts beating furiously and I think I’m hyperventilating. I daren’t move in case I alert whatever it is to my presence and they go in for the attack. It’s pitch black outside and despite the many layers I have on, I am freezing and my teeth start chattering. The ground now feels cold and hard beneath me, and I wonder if this was such a good idea. I mean, surely this can’t be good for me. Maybe I’ve done irreparable damage to my body by exposing it to the elements in this foolhardy way.

  The rustling continues and then I hear a low moan coming from outside, which makes the hairs on my neck stand to attention. It’s almost primeval and I suddenly realise I have put myself in grave danger in pursuit of adventure. Thinking of my warm and cosy bed back in London, I berate myself for ever thinking this was a good idea. Now I can see why this remained unchecked on Aunt Daisy’s list – she had more sense than me.

  The rustling noise appears to subside a little, but the moans intensify and my teeth start chattering. This is too much, I can’t bear it, anything could happen to me out here.

  Deciding some form of action is required, I quietly unzip my sleeping bag and shiver as the cool air bites me. Grabbing my phone, I turn it to torch and fumble for the zip on the door of the tent. I need to get help, that much is evident. Safety in numbers as they say, and I will not go down without a fight.

  The sky is totally black, with not even a sliver of a moonbeam to light my path. The only light is from my torch and I feel strangely annoyed. So much for camping out under the stars. This is a disaster.

  Once again, I hear moaning and it spurs me into action and I head towards Finn’s tent because he is definitely who I need right now. He will know what to do, and even the thought of his angry expression as I disturb his sleep doesn’t deter me.

  Shivering uncontrollably from cold and nerves, I stumble past the glowing embers of the fire towards his tent and hover outside, suddenly unsure about my plan.

  What if he attacks me, thinking I’m an intruder? That would be the last straw because this trip is not turning out remotely how I thought it would. However, another low moan propels me into action and I hiss, “Finn, are you awake?”

  I hear a muttered curse and my teeth chattering are the only sound as the zip starts to move upwards and then I hear “Good god, what the hell are you wearing on your face?”

  I quickly realise I still have the sleeping mask on and rip it off in embarrassment as Finn pretends to be afraid and says, “No, put it back on, it’s too much.”

  Glaring at him, I feel annoyed that in an emergency all he can do is insult me and I say in a cross whisper, “Shut up and listen, I think we’re under attack.”

  Suddenly, he snaps to attention and his eyes narrow and he hisses, “What is it?”

  Crouching down, I lean towards him and whisper, “Something’s outside my tent and there’s a moaning sound, do you think it’s animals?”

  We listen and then the sound hits us again and Finn laughs softly, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

  “Why?�
�

  He nods toward Felicity’s tent and whispers, “They’ve been at it for ages. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before.”

  Suddenly, it dawns on me what the noise is and I stare at him in shock as he grins and shakes his head, “Seriously though, what on earth are you wearing?”

  Looking down at my onesie and happy socks, I shrug. “Suitable attire for sleeping outdoors, or at least I thought it was.”

  By now I feel as if my whole body must be blue because I have never felt so cold and Finn must notice because he says gruffly, “You’re frozen solid. Here, come inside and I’ll warm you up.”

  I stare at him in shock as he reaches for my hand and winks. “It’s ok, just basic survival skills. Body heat is the best form of natural heating there is, oh and the fact I have an actual sleeping bag that’s designed for extreme conditions. Not the pretend designer variety you’ve probably bought that looks good with no substance behind it.”

  As he pulls me inside his tent, I feel indignant and hiss, “Is that what you think I am, good looks but no substance?”

  Trying not to laugh, he whispers, “I never said you were good looking.”

  Feeling very annoyed, I almost storm off but the sudden blast of heat that hits me as he unzips his sleeping bag, calls to my inner survivor and without a care for moral decency, I jump in with him with no further delay.

  Strangely, I like the fact that his arm settles around my shoulders and pulls me close to his warm, male body. I love the fact I feel secure and safe in his strong muscular arms. It feels good having someone care for me when it feels so lonely out on my own, and as we snuggle down together, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

  Another moan makes me giggle and Finn laughs softly. “Maybe they’ve taken your list to heart and made their own one. They’ve certainly been giving it their best shot for the last thirty minutes.”