Xo, Zach

by Kendall Ryan

He thought it over for half a second, his eyes narrowing. “But four dollars? That’s a lot of money. The tooth fairy only left Eli a quarter.”

  I chuckled under my breath. The kid drove a hard bargain. He was a smart cookie, just like his pretty mother, apparently.

  I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. “Tell you what.” I grabbed four bills and placed them in his waiting palm. “Consider this a down payment.”

  Eyes still narrowed, Connor gazed down at the money and then back up at me. “But you’re not my dad.”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m not. But I’m your mom’s friend and I know what it’s like to grow up without your dad in your life.”

  At this, his lips pressed together as if he was processing this information.

  “And maybe when you’re a grown-up man like me, you can pay it forward, help another little boy or girl someday.”

  Deciding he was happy with that answer, or just happy in general with those crisp bills in his hand, Connor gave me an enthusiastic nod. “Okay. I can do that.”

  He started to bound away when Poppy stopped him. “What do you say to Zach?”

  “Thank you.” He smiled at me, and then darted off, probably to stuff that money in his piggy bank before his mom said otherwise.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Poppy said, watching me cautiously.

  “I know that. I wanted to. He reminds me of you. A ton, actually.”

  At this, she finally smiled, and all was right with the world. It felt like I had finally won a piece of her over, this huge piece of her life that she hadn’t been brave enough to share. Suddenly her hesitation at getting involved made perfect sense. It wasn’t just herself she was thinking about. She had an entire future to protect, another little person she was responsible for. But we’d had enough heaviness for a moment. I decided to lighten the mood.

  “So, about these chocolate chip cookies …”

  Poppy gave a short laugh and rolled her eyes. “First, I need food.”

  My favorite diner had the best hangover food, and even better, the tables were covered in huge sheets of white paper and came with a big bowl of crayons.

  “Get your stuff. I know just the place.”

  “But Connor…I can’t leave him alone…” She sounded panicked, like I was just like the others, not realizing she came as a package deal. Oddly, it never even occurred to me that I should think of this little boy as an inconvenience. He was a huge part of Poppy’s life I’d just been introduced to—and I know that Poppy even allowing me to cross that threshold and meet him was a huge milestone for her—and I was going to do everything in my power to make her understand that I was very okay with her and with Connor. Besides, she just added a MILF fantasy to my growing repertoire of spank bank material.

  “I never expected you to leave him here, Poppy.” And at that, I turned toward the kitchen.

  I couldn’t wait to see if Connor liked their chocolate chip pancakes as much as I did.

  I waited in the kitchen while Poppy gathered Connor from his bedroom. Her home was neat and tidy, it felt homey and lived in. There were framed photographs on the walls, throw pillows and overstuffed ottomans, and gingham placemats on the dining table. I’d never envisioned Poppy as a mother, but decided that I liked this side of her immensely.

  As Poppy rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, I picked up a gas mask from the counter and raised my eyebrows at her.

  She laughed softly. “Connor picked that up for my birthday last year at a thrift store. He hates that chopping onions always makes me cry.”

  “Does it work?”

  She shook her head. “Not even a little bit. But it was a sweet idea.”

  I set the gas mask down on the counter. “He’s a good kid, Poppy. You’ve done a good job.”

  She smiled warmly, turning to greet Connor who had emerged from his bedroom with his shoes and jacket.

  “Let’s roll.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Poppy

  “Connor,” I shouted as I grabbed my keys. I walked over to his room, where I’d just helped him zip up his jacket, expecting him to follow me into the kitchen. When I walked into his astronaut-themed room he was in bed, clearly hiding under his spaceship comforter. I suppressed a laugh. I could tell he was trying not to breathe.

  “Connor, we have to go,” I said, walking over to the bed and pulling the covers off him. He’d only been home from school for a few minutes when I sprung this on him.

  He furrowed his eyebrows.

  “I don’t need to go to the dentist. See…” He opened his mouth wide, revealing the gap in his front teeth where he’d lost another baby tooth.

  I put my hands on my hips. “You have to go to the dentist. It’s just a checkup. They want to make sure your big teeth will grow in right.”

  I groaned as I lifted him out of the bed and stood him up. “It will be quick, I promise. Let’s go.”

  After getting Connor situated unhappily in the backseat of my car, I turned the key in the ignition, but it only made a puttering sound. I tried again, waiting for the engine to turn over, but it kept making the same sound.

  “Come on,” I muttered to myself.

  “What’s wrong? Can we not go?” Connor asked hopefully.

  I tried one more time and the car spit out one last, loud putter and died.

  Crap.

  Between paying for school and only working part-time, the bills were already tight. I didn’t need to look at my bank account to know that I couldn’t afford even a minor car repair. I laid my head on the steering wheel, trying to gather myself so Connor wouldn’t see how upset I was.

  “It’s okay, Mom,” he said happily. “Now we can have fun instead of going to the dentist.”

  I smiled in spite of myself, lifting my head from the steering wheel. At least one of us was feeling positive about this.

  Much to his excitement, I called and cancelled Connor’s dentist appointment. I’d need to think of how to handle this situation, but until then I chose to put it out of my mind and focus on other things. In the spirit of optimism, I decided to use my now free afternoon to work on writing. I called my mom to see if she could watch Connor while I went to campus for the rest of the day. She had recently retired and jumped at any chance to get out of the house, especially if it involved spending time with her grandson. Within twenty minutes she was at my door.

  “I can’t believe this, what are you going to do about your car?” she said, breezing through the front door, her dark hair swept into a neat bun at the nape of her neck. She’d always been energetic, and when she entered a room it felt like the volume turned up a notch. I wasn’t ready to discuss my car, since the whole thing was still making my head spin.

  “I don’t know yet. I’ll figure something out,” I said, hoping she’d drop it.

  She shot me a look as she set a bag on the counter and started unloading groceries. Even though I’d told her a hundred times I didn’t need her bringing us food she still couldn’t resist.

  “Don’t give me that look,” I said, smirking at her. She had a tendency to get worked up over every little thing, and even though this was kind of a big deal I knew it wouldn’t help if she was stressed out about it.

  “I’m sorry, Poppy, but you already have so much going on. You know, your dad and I could help you out,” she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

  I knew this was coming. They already did so much for Connor and me, and I hated to ask any more of them.

  “It’s okay, Mom, I’ll be fine. I’ll take care of it. I always figure it out, don’t I?” She pursed her lips with anxiety. There was no convincing her at times like this. Instead of arguing with her, I gave her a quick hug, kissed Connor goodbye and ran out the door to catch the bus to campus.

  I was only eight miles from campus, but the constant stopping and starting to pick up more students made it a forty-five-minute ride. I headed toward the building where most of the gra
duate writing students hung out in the writing lab during the day. As I reached for the door handle it opened from the other side and I walked straight into Zach. Our bodies bumped against each other lightly, and I reached out a hand to stop myself from fully bashing into him. It landed on his stomach, where I could feel his abs through the cotton of his button up. Our eyes met, and I was too aware of how near our mouths were. My lips parted, and I blinked rapidly, heat rushing through my body from being so close to him. I quickly pulled my hand away, hoping he hadn’t noticed that I had let it linger for a few seconds longer than I really needed to.

  “Poppy.” He smirked. “In a rush?”

  Get it together, I told myself. I had some serious lady-wood just from bumping into the guy. He grinned like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

  “How’s your day?” he asked as he stepped to the side, so we weren’t blocking the doorway. “Have you fully recovered from your epic hangover yet?”

  I ran my hands through my hair, taking a deep breath. I didn’t really want to burden Zach with my problems but I couldn’t lie to him, either.

  “I’ve had better days,” I admitted.

  “Why? Did something happen?” Zach’s tone was suddenly worried, and his green eyes flashed with concern.

  “No, it’s fine, it’s just my car. It won’t start.” I waved a hand in the air, pretending I wasn’t freaking out about it. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “How are you getting around?”

  I hadn’t expected him to be so troubled by this. Taken aback, I shrugged. “The bus or Ubers, I guess.”

  “What about Connor?” Worry etched into his face. “I don’t like the idea of you guys relying on the bus. Plus, it’s getting colder. You can’t be standing around waiting for a bus in these temperatures.”

  I couldn’t help but frown a little. I didn’t like him pointing out to me what I already knew. “Thanks for your concern, but I can handle it.”

  Unfazed by my brush-off, he continued, “Ubers aren’t exactly safe either, have you seen those stories on the news?”

  “You don’t think I could take an Uber driver?” I grinned, trying desperately to keep things light. While it was nice of him to care so much, I was used to being independent so much so that his reaction made me uncomfortable.

  “Come on, Poppy, I’m serious.”

  I sighed. Clearly, he wasn’t going to let this go. “Sorry, it’s just a tough situation. I’m short on money right now so I can’t afford a repair. But seriously, the bus is fine.”

  As a young, single mother I’d made it through plenty of rough patches. Even if it meant eating ramen for a week and selling my couch, I intended to figure this out on my own.

  “Seriously, you’re sweet for caring.” I smiled, trying to reassure him. “But you don’t need to worry about it.”

  His green eyes were still lit up with his concern and his jaw flexed with anxiety. God, he even made stress look good. I swallowed, trying not to stare too much. How was it that even after a terrible day the sight of him still made my heart flutter?

  I gestured inside. “I should probably get to work, but I’ll see you around.”

  I left him standing uncertainly by the door. I could feel his gaze on me as I walked inside, but it wasn’t the way he usually watched me, where I could practically feel him undressing me with his eyes. I hadn’t expected a reaction like that; he was truly concerned about Connor and me. And even though I didn’t need him to worry about me, I had to admit I was touched by his reaction.

  * * *

  After a long bus ride home, I wanted nothing more than to change into sweats and collapse on the couch with a tub of ice cream the size of my head. As I approached my duplex, I saw a truck parked behind my mom’s Honda. When I got to the driveway, I read “Mike’s Auto Repair” on the side of the truck. Then I noticed a pair of legs sticking out from under my car.

  “Hello?” I said loudly.

  The legs moved, and a man rolled out. He looked like he was about thirty years old, with short red hair.

  “Hey.” He grinned. “You’re Poppy?”

  I nodded, still unsure of what was happening. “No offense, but who are you and why are you under my car?”

  “Mike.” He gestured at his truck. Then he turned to look back at my car. “I had to replace the carburetor. And your brake pads don’t look too great, either, so I’ll go ahead and get those fixed up. I should be out of your hair soon.”

  He grinned, like the fact that he had appeared in my driveway and started fixing my car without my permission was totally normal. Figuring my mom had called him, I thanked him and barged inside. She knew I didn’t like it when she got involved without asking me first.

  “Mom,” I shouted as I headed toward the living room. “Why did you call a—”

  “Who’s Zach?” she interrupted from the floor, where she was playing Legos with Connor.

  “How do you know about...” I trailed off. What the fuck is happening? I could not have been more confused. “He’s my adviser. Why?”

  She shrugged, a knowing smile growing on her face. “You must be quite the student for him to call a repairman for you.”

  “Zach’s my friend,” Connor said, not taking his eyes off his Lego building. “He took us out for pancakes.”

  “Oh, really?” My mom asked innocently, her grin growing even wider. She was always trying to get me to date despite my repeatedly telling her I didn’t have the time.

  “What a nice adviser.” She winked at me, putting up air quotes as she said adviser.

  Now was not the time to get into my relationship with Zach, especially because I didn’t even understand it myself. Wanting answers, I left them in the living room and walked back outside, where Mike was wiping his hands off with a greasy towel.

  “So, Zach hired you?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even. I told him I was going to deal with it myself, why would he call a repairman for me? “I’m sorry but I can’t really afford—”

  Mike cut me off, putting his hands up. “Don’t worry about payment. I’m an old friend of Zach’s, and I owe him one. Probably more than one, honestly.” He laughed.

  I stood gaping as Mike loaded his tools into his truck.

  “I’ll need to come back once I get the right parts. I’m free in the morning, if that works.”

  I nodded, still stunned. Zach did all this? Mike climbed into his truck, then hesitated before closing the door. He grinned at me again. “He must really like you.”

  I smiled, not sure what to say, as he pulled the door shut. As I watched Mike’s truck drive off, I still felt a slight tinge of annoyance that Zach had interfered with my life. I didn’t want him thinking I couldn’t take care of myself, or that I needed someone to swoop in and save me. Lost in my thoughts, I trudged back inside and sat on the couch, absentmindedly watching Connor play.

  “What are you so grumpy about?” Mom asked. “Aren’t you happy about your car?”

  I looked up, not realizing I’d been so obvious. She could always see through to my true emotions, no matter how hard I tried to hide them.

  “I just didn’t need him to step in. I was handling it.”

  “Honey,” she said gently, moving to sit next to me and putting a hand on my knee. “It’s okay if you need help sometimes. It doesn’t make you any less strong or less capable.”

  My mom and I might be totally different, but she always knew what to say. She gave my knee one last pat and stood up, heading into the kitchen where I could smell her famous lasagna baking. She turned back before rounding the corner.

  “And if he’s half as good looking as he is sweet, I’d say you need to hold onto this one.”

  “Mom, come on, he’s just my adviser,” I said, but I was grinning. She was right, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to get help sometimes, and accepting it was something I’d struggled with for a long time. I wanted to prove I could be the best mom to Connor and still achieve ev
erything I wanted to in my life on my own. Even so, it was nice to have someone out there who cared enough to do this for me and Connor. The more I learned about Zach, the more I realized that even though his dirty mouth made it seem like he only cared about one thing, there was a lot more to him than sex. He was kind, caring, and thoughtful; a rare combination, if the guys I’d dated were any indication. I’m sure he saw some of his own mother in my struggles since he’d grown up with his mom his only parental support. And I was having a hard time ignoring what I hadn’t wanted to admit for a long time. I was more than just attracted to Zach, I was really falling for him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Zach

  Over the past few days, school had gotten busy and I hadn’t seen much of Poppy, except for running into her on campus a couple of times. I’d texted her to let her know I was around if she needed help prepping for mid-terms. But after helping her get her car repaired, and her texted thank you, it seemed she had retreated for some space—thinking—but about what, I didn’t know.

  I had no choice but to give it to her, so I’d spent the last couple of days renovating my bedroom—beginning with sanding and staining the hardwood floor and repainting the walls a stone gray. Standing back to admire my work, I liked the finished affect. The white trim stood in stark contrast and the plain white sheets and down comforter I had seemed more elegant than before in the redesigned space.

  It was late afternoon by the time I got all the paint and supplies put away in my garage and I was just stepping out of a warm shower when my doorbell rang. That was weird. I certainly wasn’t expecting anyone on a Saturday to show up unannounced.

  Ducking into my bedroom, I grabbed a pair of jeans, and a t-shirt, opting to go commando in my rush to get to the door as the doorbell rang a second time.

  “Coming,” I called, buttoning my jeans just before pulling open the door.

  It was Poppy.

  She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and one of those oversized sweaters she seemed to love. This one was oatmeal colored and the hint of a lacy pink bra beneath was enough to make my cock twitch in my pants.