Data peered more closely at the plaque. “THIS IS NOT A TALENT, IDIOT,” she read. “IT IS JUST A FARM ALONG THE WAY. KEEP WALKING.”
“Oh.”
“My appreciation for this planet is not growing,” Data said.
They came to another pedestal. This one had a goblin and a crow side by side. The talent was listed as MERGER.
Data pushed the Demo button. The two creatures moved together and merged, becoming one. It looked like a winged goblin with the beak of a crow.
“Actually that could be a useful talent,” Squid said. “You could form new hybrid creatures.”
“Maybe so.” Then Data looked at the price: 25% OF YOUR SOUL. “Ouch! That’s too much.”
They went on. The next pedestal showed a cute elf girl and a fierce male griffin. Was the griffin about to eat the elf? The plaque said ACCOMMODATION.
Curious, Data pushed the Demo button. The elf and griffin came together, and became the same size. They embraced. Then a patch of fog blotted them out.
“Oh!” Squid said. “The talent is to make an accommodation spell. You know, where any two creatures of any size or nature can come together and signal the stork.”
“And the demo blotted out the detail!” Data complained. “The bleeping Adult Conspiracy strikes again. We still don’t know how two people do it, let alone a griffin and an elf.”
“It’s like the last one,” Squid said. “Only instead of making a crossbreed directly, you can do it by enabling them to breed. That could be a valuable talent.”
“If you want to crossbreed with monsters. I’ll stick with humans or skeletons.”
Squid smiled. “I suppose. Technically, I am a monster.”
“Technically, so am I. Still.”
“Still,” Squid agreed.
They moved on. Now they saw two others walking the opposite direction. They turned out to be young male trolls.
“Uh-oh,” Data said.
“Not all trolls are mean. But we can handle them if we have to.”
“We can.”
They walked on. Soon they met the trolls, as the path was only two persons wide. They stopped.
“Well, now,” one troll said, eyeing them lasciviously.
“Two pretty human girls,” the other said, licking his thin lips.
“Two children,” Squid said. “We aren’t looking for trouble. We’re just passing through, looking for talents, same as you are.”
“It’s no trouble,” the first troll said. “Take off your clothes.”
“Please, just let us pass,” Data said.
“Sure, after we’re done with you. We know what girls are for.”
“We’re underage,” Squid said. “And we don’t want to do anything with you.”
“As if you have a choice,” the second troll said. “You should know better than to travel alone.”
Then both trolls reached out and grabbed both girls.
Squid shifted to cuttlefish form, her pseudo-tentacles wrapping around the youth and pinning his arms to his sides. Data shifted to skeleton form and poked a finger bone at her youth’s face.
Both trolls seemed stunned. They had had no idea they were dealing with shape changers.
“Next time you encounter a girl,” Squid said. “Treat her politely, so she won’t do this to you.” She wrapped a limb around his head, stuck a sucker on his cheek, and twisted his neck just hard enough to hurt.
“Or this,” Data said, and clapped her troll on the ear with a bone-hard fist. A little lightning bolt of pain zapped out.
Then they let the boys go, tossed them to the side of the path, and walked on. The trolls made no further sounds. Surprise, pain, humiliation? It hardly mattered.
“That was almost fun,” Squid said as she shifted back to human form.
“Almost,” Data agreed, shifting back to flesh and adjusting her messed up clothing. “It reminds me how ogres teach young dragons the meaning of fear.”
“A useful lesson.”
Now the path came to a several way split. A sign said GOOD TALENTS AHEAD, IF YOU CAN GET THERE.
They considered the choices. One path led to an underground tunnel. HERE THERE BE GOBLINS.
“Goblins can be worse than trolls,” Data said. “The ladies are nice, but the men are ugly and mean and believe in what they call gang bangs, whatever those are, and there can be hundreds of them. We couldn’t fend them off long, and would survive only as long as they found us amusing to play with. Then they’d dump us in their cook-pot.”
They considered the next path. This one led up the steepening slope of a mountain where hungry-looking flying dragons circled. “That’s not promising either,” Squid said. “They can crunch flesh and bones with equal relish.”
A third path led down to a pervasive bog where the colored fins of loan sharks showed, as well as the snouts of allegations. Squid could swim well, but doubted she would get far through that swarm of horrors.
A fourth path led to a cliff that dropped off into a dark void. They didn’t much like the look of that one either.
The fifth path traversed ordinary terrain, but was labeled CHOOSE YOUR DISABILITY. What did that mean?
There were several objects parked at the path entrance. One was an old fashioned Mundane wheelchair. Another was a white cane. A third was a pair of ear muffs. Another was simply a big question mark. Another was a pane of glass. What did they mean?
“I think we’ll have to try the demos,” Data said.
“Yes.” Squid touched the glass.
It exploded. Suddenly she was in agony. She screamed, but the hurting didn’t stop. Only when she fell back out of the area did it ease.
“That’s not a pane,” she gasped. “It’s pain. Maybe a pun, but we don’t want it.”
“We can use the path, but be in terrible pain,” Data said. “Somehow I think I’d feel it in my skeletal phase also, and your flesh is vulnerable regardless of your form.”
“I think so. Maybe a masochist could handle it, but not me.”
Data touched the question mark. “Oh!” she cried. “I am hopelessly confused. Why are we here? What are we doing? I can’t make sense of anything.” She dropped the question mark and looked around. “I think I lost my mind for a moment there.”
“It’s a mental question,” Squid said. “Mental illness. I don’t think we want that one either.”
“We don’t. We need our minds. But now we’re getting a notion what ‘disability’ means. That there is something wrong with us, physically or mentally. I don’t think I can handle what we’ve seen so far.”
“Me too. Of course we can quit and return to the boat.”
“You can if you want to. I’m going on, one way or another.”
Squid was coming to like her attitude. The girl was more than skin and bones. “I don’t like quitting either.”
Data picked up the ear muffs and put them on. “Where did all the sound go? I can’t hear anything.”
Squid still heard the calls of the dragons on the mountain, and the swishing of the sharks in the bog, and there were birds trilling in the nearby woods. “You’re deaf.”
Data gazed blankly at her. “I see your lips moving, but what are you saying?”
Squid reached across and pulled the ear muffs off her. “You’re deaf,” she repeated.
“Oh, that’s the disability! Now I understand.”
“I suppose we might make it through without hearing. But I suspect that there will be warning sounds we need to hear. Things like a basilisk hiss, or a spoken warning. I don’t want to gamble on it.”
“I like your reasoning. And your attitude.”
Squid smiled. “Me too,” she repeated.
“In fact I think I like you, now that I am coming to know you. I was jealous of the way you have a boyfriend, but I see you�
�re your own person.”
“Thank you.” Squid looked at the remaining two objects. “My turn.” She picked up the white cane.
Suddenly she was blind. Completely without sight. “Uh-oh. I can’t see a thing. I don’t like this.” Already she was beginning to panic. She dropped the cane, and her sight returned. It was an enormous relief. She had not realized how dependent she was on sight. She simply could not function without it. “I can’t do this.”
“I see,” Data said. “No pun. Let me try the chair.” She sat in the wheelchair. “Oh, my!”
“What is it?”
“My legs are paralyzed. I can feel them, but I can’t move them.”
“Can you use your arms to move the wheelchair?”
Data tried it. “Yes.” she put her hands on the rims of the wheels and pushed forward. The wheelchair moved. “But I can’t stand being paralyzed, again no pun. I’ve always been mobile in both my forms. This is not for me.” She used her arms to heave herself up and out of the chair, and stood beside it, her legs restored.
“I think we have just eliminated all the choices.”
“Maybe not. Maybe you could handle the chair.”
Squid shrugged. “I saw how Ion handles it. The wheelchair may not be as versatile as his floating carpet, but the principle’s the same. I can’t say I’d like it, but I think I could handle it, at least for a while.” She went to the wheelchair and sat in it. Her legs lost volition, but her arms still functioned. She wheeled herself forward. “Yes, this I can do.”
“And I think I might be able to handle blindness, for a while.” Data picked up the white cane. “But I will need your guidance, if you retain your sight.”
“And I could use your help, if you retain your legs,” Squid said. “I can move this on my own, but it would be twice as effective if you pushed me. That would help guide you, too.”
“An hour ago I would have doubted that. But now I think I trust you.” She reached toward Squid. “Where are you?”
“Stand still. I will come to you.” Squid pushed the wheels and made her way to Data. She caught the girl’s hand and guided it. “Here is the chair.”
“Ah, yes.” Data put both hands on the handholds behind the chair. “I think we’re a team. Let’s do it.”
“Let’s.” Squid looked ahead. “The path is clear, but there’s a steep drop-off on the left and a bog on the right. We need to be sure to stay centered.”
“You’re the guide.” Data pushed the chair smartly along the path.
“Oops, there’s a door ahead, with a spring to keep it closed. The path goes right to it. I don’t think I can get the chair past it.”
“Yes you can. Guide me to the door, and I’ll hold it open for you.”
“Straight ahead about ten more paces.”
Data pushed her there and stopped. “Now where?”
“Feel your way around the chair. The door’s right before it.”
Data felt her way, and found the door. She opened it and held it open. “Go on through.”
Squid turned the wheels and propelled the chair through the doorway. It just fit. But on the far side was a step. “Uh-oh.”
They discussed it. Then Squid saw a thick board lying to the side. “A ramp! We can make a ramp.”
Data felt her way to the board, and placed it carefully on the step. Now Squid was able to ride across it and get to the path beyond.
Data resumed her position behind the wheelchair. “Where to?”
“The path continues to a foggy field.”
“Makes no difference to me.”
They entered the field. The fog surrounded them, misting out the scene. Squid was unable to see the path ahead. “I don’t like this. I am effectively blind, and can’t tell you where it is safe to go. It’s not safe.”
“Maybe I can use my cane.” Data circled the wheelchair and tapped the ground with the end of the cane.
That worked, but progress was slow. “It will take forever to get anywhere,” Squid complained.
“Yes. But it would be a shame to quit after coming so far.”
Then there came a voice. “Hello! Anybody there?”
Someone else was lost in the fog? “Hello!” Squid called back.
“So I did hear something! Who are you?”
“We’re visitors to this world, looking for a talent.”
“So am I. Any luck?”
“Not so far. Now we’re lost in the fog.”
“There is fog?”
“Don’t you see it?”
“No. But then I wouldn’t.”
This was curious. “Can we meet and talk?” Squid called.
“Sure. I’ll be there in a jiffy.”
Indeed, in exactly one jiffy a girl appeared from the fog. She was about their age, or a little older, with short dark hair and obscure eyes. Overall she was fairly pretty.
“Hello,” Squid said. “I’m Squid, and this is my friend Data.”
“I’m Nicole.”
“You say you can’t see the fog?” Data asked.
“That’s right. I’m blind.”
“Oh, you chose that disability too?”
Nicole laughed. “I didn’t choose it. I was delivered with it.” She flicked her wrist, and a white cane appeared. “I came here hoping to win a talent for sight, but that didn’t work out.”
“You didn’t find it?” Squid asked.
“Oh, I found it, after much searching. But I didn’t take it.”
“Why not?”
“The price was half my soul.”
“Ouch!” Squid said.
“So now I’m ready to return to my home world of Puzzle. Next month they will come to pick me up. Meanwhile, I’ve just been exploring. I’ve been over all the paths. I already have the disability, so am unaffected by theirs. I know where most of the talents are.”
“You do?” Data said eagerly. “We’re looking, but we got bogged down here.”
“What talent do you want?”
“I don’t know. I’m window shopping so far. I’m not eager to give up part of my soul.”
“I know exactly how that is. But they aren’t all that expensive. If you’ll settle for a nice minor talent, like conjuring a wet blanket or making a sun burn, you can be done in next to no time.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Squid said. “Guide us to some talents, and we’ll help you get home faster. We have a way to travel.”
“That’s a deal! I’m tired of this world.” She considered. “How about a cold snap? You snap your fingers, and the air within the range of the sound gets horribly cold so that ice even forms. It can stop a dragon or a troll, and it costs only five percent.”
“A cold snap,” Data said. “That would be fun to try on a lecherous troll.”
“Yes. Coincidentally I just encountered a pair of young trolls, and thought I was in trouble, but they were excruciatingly polite. I was so surprised.”
Squid laughed. “We know why. They tried to molest us, but we set them back with a warning.”
“Oh? What’s your secret?”
“We’re not exactly what we appear to be, if you could see us. We look human, but I’m an alien cuttlefish in the form of a girl, and Data is half walking skeleton.”
Now Nicole laughed. “You’re shape changers! Oh, I wish I could have seen that!” Then she turned about. “Follow me.” She set off along the path she knew, heedless of the fog.
They followed. In barely two-and-a-half moments they were out of the fog and at a pedestal. The plaque said TALENT: COLD SNAP.
Nicole pushed the demo button. A loud snap sounded, and shards of ice appeared in the air above the pedestal. Squid felt the chill of the air as it flowed out.
“I’ll take it,” Data said. “Five percent doesn’t seem so expensive any more.”
“Put your hand on the pedestal,” Nicole said. “And say you are taking it.”
Data did so. And straightened up. “Oh!”
“It just took part of your soul,” Nicole explained. “That’s a jolt. But now you have the talent.”
“I can’t wait to try it out. But first I want to see again.”
“We’re near the edge of the disabilities section. This way.”
They followed her to another sign. EXIT. The moment they passed it, Squid’s control of her legs returned, and Data looked joyfully about.
“Are you ready to go home, Nicole?” Squid asked as she stretched her restored legs.
“More than ready.”
“Fibot,” Squid murmured, knowing the craft was tracking them.
The boat silently appeared, floating beside them. Nicole did not react, as she could not see it.
“We made a deal with Nicole, here,” Squid said as Santo came to the rail. “She is blind. She helped us find a talent, and we promised to take her home.”
“Hello, Nicole,” Santo said. “I am Santo, Squid’s sibling. We will take you to your home world, but you must promise not to talk about it to others. We are on a private mission.”
“That’s fine,” Nicole agreed.
Piton and Myst appeared. “Well, now,” Piton said, eyeing Nicole’s form. “I’ll help her board.”
“The bleep you will,” Myst said.
“I’ll help her board,” Data snapped. “Keep your grabby hands to yourself.”
Data guided Nicole to the gunwale and helped her climb over. Then Santo questioned her about her home world, and Tata determined the coordinates. Santo opened a tunnel, and they sailed directly to it.
Chapter 12
Puzzle
“I believe it is better if our guest learns no more about us,” Noe murmured to Squid. She was speaking for Santo, who was recovering from the effort of making the tunnel through space. “It is no reflection on her merit as a person. This amounts to another random location, and we should keep it as private as we can.”
“I’ll see that she’s okay, and we can quietly fade from the scene,” Squid said.
The boat settled to a landing on the ground beside what appeared to be a giant hedge maze. Squid helped Nicole step down to the ground. “Do you recognize your home world?”
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