Skeleton Key

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Skeleton Key Page 23

by Piers Anthony


  “Oh yes! I can smell it. I can find my way home readily enough. Thank you for the lift.”

  “Thank you for helping us find a talent for Data. I know she’s pleased with it.”

  “She’s welcome.”

  “How is it that you don’t have a magic talent?”

  “Oh, I have one: it just doesn’t show. It is to be fortunate in my encounters with strangers.”

  “So we were a function of your talent! We never knew.”

  “It’s minor. I’d give it up in a moment in exchange for sight. Not that I wasn’t glad to meet you.”

  “We’ll be on our way now. It has been nice knowing you.”

  “You too. Bye.” Nicole set off for her home, tapping the ground confidently with her cane. She was used to being blind, and evidently could handle it well enough when in familiar surroundings.

  Squid returned to the boat. Noe met her on the deck. “We believe this is a suitably random planet. Let’s see what we can find here, as long as we’re here anyway. Santo is still recovering, though he will soon be up and about.”

  “We really don’t know much about Puzzle Planet, do we? It’s just where a chance acquaintance lives.”

  “That’s what makes it random. Tata has researched it. It’s interesting in its own right. There are amazing puzzles here.”

  “What we need is a puzzle about how to find Caprice Castle without alerting any Demons.”

  “Yes. It is possible that puzzle is here.”

  They went to the central observation room, where the landscape was spread out beneath them as they slowly traversed it. Squid saw a huge garden maze formed by living hedges. Its passages were so intricate she started to get dizzy just trying to trace them with her gaze. “It might be fun to walk such a maze, and try to figure it out,” Squid said. “But to what purpose? How would that get us any closer to Caprice Castle?”

  “If the center was an access to a castle of our choice, we might choose Caprice.”

  “Oho! They have that kind of prize here?”

  “They may. The prizes have to be worth something, as an inducement for folk to use them. This seems to be a tourist world, attracting visitors from many others, so the prizes have to be worthwhile.”

  Squid nodded. “I suppose that does make sense. Who is going to tackle their puzzles?”

  “You are the protagonist.”

  “Oh, fudge!” But Squid realized she was probably stuck for it. She was supposed to be where the action was. “Let me get a good night’s sleep. Then I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Good enough.” Noe went to see to the sleeping Santo.

  Squid went to join Larry. She realized that she had been quietly tense while away from him.

  In the morning they held another general meeting. “Tata has researched his archives for information on this world,” Santo said. “It turns out there are many puzzles of many kinds. We happen to be in the maze section. The mazes are formed by hedges and are in different shapes, such as faces, fish, dinosaur, shield, mundane tractor, windmill, deer, wagon, clock and so on. Each is a challenge to navigate, and there are dangers along the way. If a person gets eaten by a dragon, he is simply dumped out of the maze; actual danger would be bad for the tourist industry. Those who make it through to the center win that maze’s prize, such as the ability to emulate other faces in the face maze, or to tell time with marvelous accuracy in the clock maze.”

  He paused for a breath. “Our interest is in a castle shaped maze, because the prize there is private transport to the actual castle represented by the maze. It seems that one resembles Caprice Castle.” He smiled. “It also seems that some tourists seek private trysts that their partners don’t know about, so such transport enables them to meet each other safely. We may pretend that this is the type of interest we have, but actually we want to get to Caprice with one of the skeleton children and steer it out of the Sometime realm. So we plan to assemble two teams of five each, randomly selected, and try two mazes. That way any spying party won’t realize what we’re really after. They will think it is just for diversion.”

  “Diversion?” Noe asked, prompting him.

  “The second maze is in the general shape of an attractive woman. A corn maiden.”

  They all laughed. They were children, more than half of whom were girls. They were not interested in private trysts with lovely women. But someone spying on them from afar might not realize that.

  After that they drew lots for two parties of five each. Squid joined with Piton, Myst, Firenze and Ula, while Larry went with Data, Win, Hilda, and Ion. Squid’s party went to the woman-shaped maze, while Larry’s party went to the castle-shaped one.

  Squid found them in a corn maze, the paths winding curvaceously through thickly growing corn stalks. Soon they came to a split. Which way?

  “There are five of us,” Ula said. “We can take more than one path.”

  “But what about the next split?” Firenze asked. “And the one after that? We could get hopelessly separated and lost.”

  “Also, if there is danger, we can defend it better together,” Piton said.

  “Shall we vote?” Myst asked. “Or do we have a leader to decide?”

  Squid knew that if they wanted a leader, she’d be selected, being the protagonist. “Let’s vote,” she said quickly.

  They voted, and decided to stay together. It might decrease their chances of finding the right path to the center, but it was safer. In any event they were more like a decoy team, and it didn’t really matter whether they won or lost. They just had to be a good distraction in case they were being observed.

  There was a weird howl ahead. “Uh-oh,” Ula said. “I have heard that sound before. Corn dogs. This is a corn field. They’ll be after us within three moments.”

  “Corn dogs?” Myst asked. “Aren’t they something you eat?”

  “Not when they’re wild. They prefer to eat you.”

  “I can handle them,” Firenze said. He strode forward, his hands heating visibly.

  “Don’t get too hot, dear,” Ula said, sounding insincere. It was almost as though she were suggesting something. Her job was to keep him reasonably cool.

  Firenze smiled grimly. “I won’t.” But his hands were heating.

  In just under three moments the pack of corn dogs appeared. They looked like dogs made of corn cobs, with yellow corn kernels for teeth. They charged.

  Firenze shot out his hands, catching two dogs by their corn silk tails. The silk shriveled with the heat. The dogs yelped and backed off. Then they rallied, making ready to charge as a pack.

  “I wouldn’t,” Ula said to them. “My man’s a terror when he gets riled.”

  The dogs ignored her and charged Firenze as a unit. He put down his head and charged right back at them. Sparks flew as his fiery head singed their corn silk fur. Their corn teeth popped into popcorn, each one sounding a melodic note: pop music. They howled, this time in pain and panic.

  That gave the dogs the message. They fled, some of them limping.

  “Sorry I had to do that,” Firenze said. But he didn’t look chagrined.

  “I’m sorry too,” Ula said. But she looked positively smug. They understood each other. She didn’t mind him heating in a good cause.

  “That’s a neat talent,” Piton said.

  “Yes, now that he has it under control,” Myst said.

  Just so. And the control was Ula. Squid was pleased that the girl had finally found her place in life; she would never be lonely or in fear again.

  They walked on, alternating left forks with right forks, uncertain where they were going. Then they came to a section where several corn stalks seemed to have been ripped out of the ground, leaving holes. “We can get past that,” Ula said.

  “Nuh-uh,” Piton said. “I have heard of those. They catch people who don’t know their butts
from holes in the ground. They’re corn holes. I don’t know why they’re so bad, but I know we don’t want to mess with them. We need to take another route.”

  “He’s right,” Firenze said. “I’ve heard of them too. We don’t want to go near them.”

  The girls shrugged. “We can take another path,” Squid said.

  They backed off and took another fork. But that one led to a section where a net made of corn silk dropped over them, entangling their arms and legs while making a musical sound. It was a corn-net. They were hopelessly confined.

  “Dear,” Ula murmured.

  “Got it.” Firenze’s head and hands heated up, burning through the strands. In moments they were free. Squid had never seen him so happy: he was now an asset to their group, instead of a liability. All because of Ula.

  The path opened out into a larger chamber. There stood another creature of the corn, a horse with a single spiraling horn. “A uni-corn!” Squid said, delighted.

  But this one was not friendly. He snorted and clove the earth with a fore-hoof as he oriented his horn for an attack. He strode toward them.

  “Myst,” Piton said as he covered his eyes. “Don’t look, the rest of you.”

  But Squid managed to watch peripherally, feeling obliged to track the action.

  Myst turned around and hoisted her skirt, flashing her magic panty as Firenze, Ula, and Piton looked away from her. The unicorn saw it and froze, freaked out.

  They walked around the stunned creature. Only when they were well beyond him did Myst snap her fingers, breaking the spell. The unicorn came back to life and resumed guarding the corn.

  “Great show, girl,” Piton said.

  “Just doing my bit to help.” But Myst was practically radiating pleasure.

  That panty was indeed useful.

  They came next to a section where a number of corn plants seemed to have gotten tangled together while growing. They looked odd, but the path continued on by them and there was no obvious danger. So Squid walked on—and paused, bewildered. “What am I doing here?” she asked.

  “We’re in the corn maiden maze,” Ula said. “Don’t you remember?”

  “I—I suppose. But it’s so confusing.”

  Piton stepped up to join her. He paused. “Are we on the right path? I feel lost.”

  “Corn-fusion!” Ula exclaimed, getting the pun. “The stalks are twisted together, and in their presence folk are cornfused.”

  Firenze groaned. “Awful pun. Real corny.”

  “Fittingly,” Ula agreed. “We’d better bypass this section too.”

  They drew back, and the minds of Squid and Piton cleared. It seemed the challenges weren’t just physical.

  At last they did make it to the center. There was the prize: the lovely Corn Maiden herself. Her hair was fair corn silk, and her shoes were made from corncob husks, but were quite delicate. She wore a green skirt made of corn leaves that flashed hints of her thighs as she moved. “Hello, puzzlers,” she said. “I am Cornelia, the prize of perfect love, as you can see by my crop-top.” She spread her arms so that they could see the abbreviated blouse she wore, made of corn, that barely contained her full bosom. “But you look like children.”

  “We are children,” Squid said.

  “Then you will want Maizy. She’s a-mazingly good with children.” Cornelia put two fingers to her mouth and made a shrill whistle.

  A second woman appeared, wearing a child-party dress and hat, also made of corn. “Hello! I am Maizy, for children. Let’s have a popcorn party!”

  Suddenly all of them were interested. Soon they were feasting on corn pudding, pop corn, and corn squeezings that made a tasty non-alcoholic drink.

  “And here is my sister Maisy, who grows mini-mazes made of maze,” Maizy said. Maisy appeared, and proceeded to grow tiny mazes whose outlines and paths the children could readily see. These were much easier to solve than the big ones. “But beware the unicorns, lest they corner you with corny puns.” Indeed there were miniature unicorns in the mazes.

  Seeing them happy, Squid settled down by herself and tuned in on the other group. Larry was thinking of her, so it was easy to join him as he stood before one of several gates to the castle.

  It was apparent from the outset that they had a worse challenge. The castle maze was an actual castle, each room and hall a challenge to enter, with special and sometimes formidable dangers. It had five entrances, and one of the group stood before each entrance.

  “Squid, if you are tuning in on me,” Larry murmured, “I will give you a summary. We made our way across the moat via the drawbridge, and through the surrounding gardens, but now we face the real challenge: getting into the castle itself. It seems that each entrance is a puzzle, and each of us is trying a different one, hoping that one of us will find a key to entry that the others can also use. I am contemplating this one, which has a series of levers and slides I need to work in the correct order to unlock it. It frankly baffles me, and I think the other locks are similarly baffling the others. This is a formidable challenge, yet only the beginning. I wish you were here to hold my hand and encourage me; then at least I would feel up to the challenge.”

  Squid got an idea that flashed brightly over her head. Youthen it! she thought strongly to him.

  Larry looked up, startled. “I got that thought, but that’s crazy. My talent affects my own age, or that of those I am touching. Living things. The inanimate is ageless. Are you teasing me?”

  Our talents are being quietly enhanced. Try it anyway.

  Larry shrugged. “I will humor you, girl, but you will owe me some kissing when we get together again, for trying something so obviously foolish.” He put his hands on the complicated locking mechanism and youthened himself, trying to take it with him.

  Larry went from age twelve to age eleven, then to ten. And the lock changed with him, becoming more primitive and simpler to operate. He stared at it half a moment, then continued. He went to nine, then to eight, then to seven. And the lock simplified until it became an elementary slide and catch, something a child could figure out. He gazed at it, amazed. “It’s working!”

  Do it!

  “Do what? Oh.” He slid the bar across and lifted it out of the catch. He pushed, and the door swung open. Then he relaxed, reverting back toward his regular age, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. The lock reverted with him, becoming as obscurely complicated in its maturity as before.

  But now the door was open.

  “Hey, folk,” Larry called. “Mine’s solved.”

  The others quickly joined him, as none of them had succeeded in unlocking their doors. “We have entry,” Win said. “Nice going, Larry.”

  “I had help.”

  “No need to be modest,” Hilda said. “You used your talent to help all of us.”

  But be modest anyway, Squid thought at him.

  “Thank you,” he said modestly.

  “Is it safe?” Data asked.

  “That seems unlikely,” Ion said. “But I can check it for poison.” He floated his carpet through the doorway and into the dark interior chamber beyond. “No poison vapor,” he called back. “The air is clean.”

  “Booo!” It was a ghost, a floating sheet with blank eye holes.

  None of them were frightened. “So it’s a haunted castle,” Hilda said. “Ghosts can’t hurt us, because their only substance is just enough vapor to make them visible, and to blow a little sound.”

  “Not necessarily,” Ion said. “There are ways ghosts can cause serious mischief.”

  “Too bad Myst is not in our party,” Win said. “She could mist out and get to know the ghosts on their own terms.”

  “Well, let’s get on with it,” Data said impatiently. She marched into the dusky chamber, stepping on the wood board floor.

  “Hooo!” a ghost cried, dancing in front of her.


  “Oh, get out of my way, spook,” Data said, pushing through it.

  Then she screamed as she dropped down out of sight.

  “I knew it,” Ion said. “Fake flooring.”

  Win stopped just before the place where Data had dropped. She put her hand on a board, and it passed through the wood. The floor was illusion.

  “Bleep!” It was Data’s voice, coming from deep below.

  Win put her face to the floor, and through it. “There’s a little light so I can see. She’s in a well, or at least a deep cellar,” she said. “She changed to skeleton form so she didn’t get hurt, but she can’t get out.”

  “I will get her out,” Ion said. He floated his carpet to the spot, then sank through the floor. Three-and-a-half moments passed.

  “Oh, you naughty boy!” Data squealed from below.

  “I was trying to pick up your hip bone.” He sounded embarrassed.

  “I changed back. That’s not bone there.”

  Squid smiled. Data had of course timed her change to make him take hold of soft flesh instead of hard bone. She had made him goose her.

  There was more dialogue as they got things organized. The carpet was sized for one, so they had to get close together to stay on it. Then the carpet rose up out of the floor with Ion sitting on it and Data wrapped around him, her dress hopelessly askew. Their position could have been mistaken for something else, had they been adults. But of course it was just their way of both fitting on the carpet.

  “Thank you for rescuing me,” Data said, and kissed Ion on the mouth. He blushed purple.

  “Let me help you dismount,” Larry said, putting his arms around Data to lift her from the carpet and set her on the safe part of the floor.

  “Thank you too,” she said, and kissed him also. “Squid’s lucky.”

  Now Larry blushed, for her half-bare body was up against his. She was back in teasing mode.

  Then Data turned to the others. “Ion was right. There are ways ghosts can cause physical trouble, such as by casting a spell of illusion to show floor where there is none. If I had landed on my flesh bottom I’d have been hurt.” She unhurriedly adjusted her dress to properly cover up that flesh.

 

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