Skeleton Key

by Piers Anthony

  The next chamber had a man at a desk. What sort of threat was this? “Come in guests,” he said. “Have seats. I am Comper, director of the puzzles. We wish to forge a bargain.”

  This was different. “Folk,” Squid said to her own group. “They want to bargain with the other group.” She also sent a thought to Santo, in Fibot.

  “Find out what they want,” Santo said.

  Find out what they want, Squid told Larry.

  “What do you want?” Larry asked the man.

  “You just performed a remarkable set of dances with the skeletons, unlike anything seen here before. We are familiar with the dances; it was the manner you accomplished them that impressed us. We recorded the sequence, and wish to have it as a promotional ad for the planet. What do you wish in return?”

  Squid relayed that to Santo.

  “Private access to a castle whose name begins CAP,” Santo said, cautious about giving the full name so that their secret could be kept.

  Squid relayed that to Larry. “Access for our whole group, including the ones at the Corn Maze and in our traveling boat, to a castle whose name begins with CAP.”

  “Done!” Comper said. “Follow the green line.”

  Just like that?

  A line appeared, leading away from the chamber. They followed it, and in due course it came to the central courtyard of the castle. Another line led in from the corn Maze, and a third from Fibot, with Santo and Noe walking. They all met in the courtyard. Squid knew that Fibot was actually there too, cloaked for invisibility.

  A new line appeared, this one blue. A sign said TO CAP CASTLE.

  “To rehearse,” Santo said. “We will steer the boat inside the castle. Piton and Data will use their knowledge to guide it out of the Sometime region back to Xanth Proper. The rest of us will give them any help they need.”

  They all nodded. Then they entered the boat, Win took the helm, Firenze took the sail, and they started moving.

  Chapter 13

  Caprine

  The boat followed the blue line into a blue cloud, and out the other side. And there was the castle ahead, with a high pennant showing a handsome goat! Squid was bemused: who had hoisted that oddity?

  They went directly to it, landing in its courtyard. Piton and Data stepped off the boat and entered the castle.

  Only to return two thirds of a moment later. “This isn’t Caprice,” Piton said grimly.

  “But it looks like Caprice,” Squid protested. “It has a similar skyline.”

  “It’s Caprine,” Data said. “They have a common floor plan.”

  Oh for pitiful sake! Santo swore mentally. “I thought to protect our destination from others, but that allowed imprecision. We’re in the wrong castle.

  Two people followed Piton and Data to the courtyard. “Greeting, visitors,” the male said politely. He was an exceptionally handsome young man, brown of hair and eye. “I am Burt Buck, and this is my associate Nancy Nanny. We’re in charge of tourist visits.”

  “How may we best serve you?” the woman inquired. She was equivalently appealing, with long fair hair and a figure to make folk notice. Obviously they had been selected to make favorable impressions on visitors.

  Santo hesitated, obviously unwilling to be impolite or to give away their real mission. Then he acted. “Squid, Larry, talk to our hosts. Perhaps we will want to visit for a day or so.” He departed.

  So it was in their hands. But who knew? Possibly some good might come of this misconnection. Squid knew that her job was to distract their hosts, and learn what they could about this castle, while Santo organized the others for the resumption of their search. He was always efficient. He knew that Squid and Larry could be trusted to keep private matters private.

  “We—we thought to visit another castle,” Squid said. “But there was a confusion of names, and it seems we got the wrong one. We apologize.”

  “If you seek a vacation castle,” Burt said, “You can’t do better than Caprine. We have all manner of entertainments.”

  “By day and by night,” Nancy said, glancing at Larry in a way that could hardly be misunderstood. Adult women really knew how to make an impression on a male. Any male.

  “We’re children,” Larry said.

  “Not by Caprine standards. We are Human/Caprine crossbreeds here, adult by age three. Our law governs in this castle. You may do whatever you like here, without reference to your home standards. That is one of the things that make this a popular resort.”

  Squid suspected that this was the case at many vacation resorts. “We have reason to maintain our innocence,” Squid said.

  “As you wish,” Burt said easily. “No one need do anything here they do not wish to do. Our business is pleasure.”

  “Endless pleasure,” Nancy said, eyeing Larry again. Now this made Squid nervous. There was more to this situation than was being revealed.

  Santo, she thought. Let’s get out of here now.

  “Get on board,” Santo said from below decks, knowing she could hear. He did not question her judgment; probably it echoed his own conclusion. He was smarter than she, and working things out faster.

  “I think we need to be going,” Squid said. “It has been nice meeting you, Burt and Nancy, but we have elsewhere to go.”

  “As you wish,” Burt repeated.

  “We will always be here, should you change your minds,” Nancy said.

  No resistance? Squid did not trust that either, perversely.

  The two of them climbed aboard, waved to the two Caprines, and nodded to Win and Firenze, who were in place. Santo had it already organized, accomplishing it while they talked with the Caprines.

  The wind revved up. The square sail flared brightly. The boat lifted, rising out of the courtyard and over the castle. Then it angled into the sky.

  Soon there was another castle in sight ahead, with a similar outline. They tried to steer around it, but there seemed to be only one channel in the air, leading down to it. So they landed in its courtyard.

  Two people came out. Squid and Larry went to meet them.

  “Hello, travelers,” the man said. “I am Boris Boar, and this as Sonia Sow. Welcome to Porcine Castle.”

  Oops. Santo caught Squid’s eye from the deck. She knew what to do: engage the pair long enough for the boat to reorient and depart again.

  Their dialogue was much like the prior one. Boris and Sonia were handsome and lovely, respectively, and eager to have tourist type company, proffering entertainments that were unlikely to be had in Xanth proper, age no barrier. These were pig crossbreeds, quite personable in their human guise, but not what their own group was looking for.

  Squid and Larry soon bid parting, and there was no opposition from the hosts.

  “As you wish,” Boris repeated.

  “We will always be here, should you change your minds,” Sonia said.

  Exactly like the others. They were speaking from a common script.

  The boat sailed again. “Let’s see whether there is another like those,” Santo said. “There may be a pattern.”

  Soon they came to another castle, similar in outline to the others. This turned out to be Bovine, with Bruce Bull and Cora Cow, both personable in human guise, and speaking from the same script.

  They continued through Ovine, with sheep folk, Equine with horse folk, Lupine with wolf folk, Canine with dog folk, and Feline with cat folk.

  “I think we have the setup,” Santo said. “We are in a loop of similar tourist castles, none of which are exactly what we want. Any thoughts?”

  “Yes,” Ula said. “Is this what Caprice Castle is slated for, once it captures enough people?”

  The others stared at her. Once again she had come up with the unexpected but useful idea. This could indeed be where Caprice was going.

  “I think we should investigate Caprin
e more thoroughly,” Santo said. “There might be clues we can use to rescue Caprice, once we get there.”

  The others agreed.

  “However,” Noe said thoughtfully, “The Caprines may have seduction in mind, to commit us to their life. We shall have to be on guard.”

  “We must not tell them no outright,” Data said. “We should seem amenable, merely cautious about committing, so that they believe they are making progress.”

  “We can flirt with them,” Piton agreed.

  “But not too seriously,” Myst said.

  Santo turned to Squid. “I think this is a job for you, as listener.”

  “Got it,” she agreed.

  “Murmur Squid’s name every so often,” Santo said to the others. “Or at least think of her, so she can tune in on you. That way all of your individual experiences will be noted. Then we may be able to put them together and arrive at a sensible conclusion.”

  They turned the boat around and retraced their route until they came back to Caprine. They landed.

  Burt and Nancy came out to greet them. Squid and Larry met them. “We briefly visited several other castles,” Squid said. “All of the folk there seem nice, the Porcines, the Bovines, the Ovines and all, but none of them interested us the way you Caprines do. So if we stay at any castle, this seems to be the one. We are not ready to stay, but would like to learn more about you.”

  “Welcome to do so,” Burt said. “The only thing we insist on is that each visitor be paired with one of us, so that all interactions are personal.”

  And the visitors would be separated and isolated, maybe more amenable to persuasion. But discovery was a two way process. “We can do that,” Squid said. “I myself am tired and will soon retire to our craft to rest, but the others will take you up on your kind offer.”

  “That will be fine,” Nancy said graciously.

  Squid turned and beckoned to the boat. Two more children came out: Santo and Noe, to her surprise. Santo must really be curious! She introduced the two couples to each other, and the two Caprines ushered the two visitors into the castle.

  Two more Caprines emerged: Brian and Nadine. Squid beckoned again, and two more of theirs emerged: Firenze and Ula. Squid introduced them, and they entered the castle.

  Then Barry and Nila met Piton and Data.

  And Benny and Nola met Ion and Hilda.

  That seemed to be enough, with eight from the boat matched with eight from the castle. Squid and Larry retreated to Fibot and settled down in their room. Squid was ready to attune, and Larry to make notes on what she told him.

  Almost immediately, it started as Santo murmured Squid’s name. She tuned in on him. “You are gay?” Nancy said to Santo. “But you were with a lady friend.”

  He had told the goat girl that? Santo was really going for candor!

  “Precisely,” he agreed. “She is my female friend, not really my girlfriend. I do not have a romantic relationship, though I do like her very well.”

  “Then let me invoke my portal.”

  “Portal?” Squid was as surprised as Santo sounded. Was that a coincidence of terms?

  “Nancy!” Santo exclaimed, surely for Squid’s benefit, to be sure she understood what was happening. “You turned male!”

  Indeed, the goat girl’s dress now hung awkwardly on a handsome buck. “I turned male,” she/he agreed. “You may call me Naldo.”

  “This is amazing!”

  “We have a number of special devices we have picked up over the years, among them a collection of portable portals,” Naldo explained. “They enable any person to change gender at will. I remain female in essence, but am making this demonstration so that you can better appreciate what we offer. If you elect to join us here at Caprine castle, a PP will be yours.”

  “But I don’t want to change gender.”

  “But you have a lady friend who plainly likes you very well: it showed in her manner toward you. You also value her: that also showed. You could use the portal to convert her to male, if she is amenable, as she well might be, when I suspect you would like her very well indeed. She surely understands your preference. If the two of you joined us here, the portal would be yours.”

  Santo was plainly shaken. This was wickedly tempting for him, for Noe as a boy might very well be his ideal partner. She knew him and loved him, and would do just about anything for him, including this.

  “I will consider it,” Santo said. That was their agreement, not to say outright no, though Squid knew Santo would never betray their mission for personal gain. But what an offer for him!

  “Now as I said,” Naldo continued smoothly, “I am female, and am not interested in any long term relationship as a male. But perhaps I can proffer you a taste of what offers. If your friend Noe used the portal to change, she might be inclined to do this with you.” And Naldo abruptly kissed Santo on the lips.

  Santo looked as he were about to faint. The prospect of having Noe as a boyfriend evidently astounded him. Noe had turned male before, but Santo had turned female at the same time, so nothing had come of that. But this was different. He kissed Naldo back, and the goat boy met him with a certain simulated passion.

  “You fight dirty,” Santo said with rueful appreciation.

  Squid appreciated that. They were pulling out key stops, and getting to Santo in a way no one else had done before.

  “We are desperate to increase our genetic base,” Naldo said. “A gay relationship would not do that, but you might elect to contribute, in the interest of our welfare. We will welcome you regardless. We understand you are a formidable Magician.”

  “I do have a talent, but have not been classified as a Magician.”

  Naldo glanced at him cannily. “Because you are gay, I suspect. There is a prejudice.”

  How much of this type of understanding could Santo take?

  Santo evidently had a similar concern. “Your interest in recruiting us is so strong that you, a temporary male, are relating to me in a way you would not normally do? Male or female, you are straight.”

  “You appreciate candor. Our need is desperate. Yes, I am female and straight, but I will do what I need to do to persuade you to join us. We believe that you are the key decision maker of your group.”

  “No need for you to be uncomfortable,” Santo said. “Why not bring Noe here and let her try the portal?”

  Naldo walked to a button on the wall. “Please bring our visitor Noe to us in room sixteen.”

  “Almost immediately,” a male voice agreed.

  And close to that time, Burt and Noe arrived. “We have had an interesting dialogue,” the buck said. “Noe is a remarkable person.”

  “It is about to become more interesting,” Naldo said. He faced Noe. “I am Naldo, a male aspect of Nancy. I converted via one of our portable gender portals. We suspect that you might wish to use it.”

  “I have been through a portal,” Noe said. “I was male for some time. I prefer female.”

  Naldo lifted the portal and invoked it. He became female, her clothing in disarray, revealing potent aspects of her shapely body. “I understand. But how would you feel about turning male for your friend Santo?” Nancy asked.

  “He was female at the same time I was male. That did not improve our relationship.”

  “You alone shifting gender.”

  Noe stood still, suddenly catching the drift. “Maybe.” She turned to Santo. “Is this something you might want?”

  “Yes,” Santo said.

  “Then let’s find out.” She took the portal. “Do it,” she told it.

  Then Noe was male, clothing distorted. “Do you want me to kiss you, Santo?”

  There was no hesitation. “Yes.”

  Noe stepped into him, embracing his body. Then he kissed Santo’s mouth. Then he drew back slightly. “I love you.”

  Sant
o seemed about to faint. “And I love you, Noe. I think I always did. But your body was wrong. Yet would you actually care to make that a permanent state?”

  “For you, yes. Only for you.”

  “I could do it also when you are female,” he said. “Only for you.”

  “Yes,” Noe-male breathed.

  “Join us, and the portal is yours,” Nancy said.

  Santo reoriented with a visible effort. “We have another mission we must attend to. But after that, I think we would be interested.”

  “The offer will remain open indefinitely,” Nancy said. “Keep the portal, for now, while you are here. You may wish to experiment further.”

  Squid would have remained tuned, but now there was a new interest. Ion had gone with Nola Nanny, and Hilda with Benny Buck. It was Hilda who had sent a thought Squid’s way. “You do know that I am nine years old, and not about to violate the dread Adult Conspiracy?”

  “I am a young adult, in human terms,” Benny said. “A mature male, in caprine terms. You are an amazing Sorceress. That fascinates me.”

  “It’s my magic you like, rather than me?”

  “So far, yes. But I shall be glad to get to know you, and I think I could love you if things went that way. It is not that I don’t like you personally, so much as I don’t know you sufficiently. I have never known a Sorceress before, of any age. However, as a doe goat you would be very much of age. Are you interested in having a boyfriend?”

  Squid knew that Hilda was quite interested, because she had been largely isolated socially by her status as a princess and her need to help and protect her brother. This might be her chance to find out what a real boyfriend would be like, without generating any scandals in her home kingdom. “That depends on how far the boy wants to go.” She was a child, but not ignorant, and wary.

  “Holding hands. Kissing faces. Talking. Doing things together, such as touring the castle. No adult stuff. At present you are my assignment, and I will do my best to please you, help you, and safeguard you, with no expectations beyond the day.”