Chloe Babineaux Private Investigator

by Lisa Clancey

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  We must have fallen asleep because we woke to the phone ringing. Jeeze, this is the second time I had slept with Rick. Was this becoming a habit? I said no sex. I didn’t say anything about not sleeping. We had both jerked awake when the phone rang, and I heard cursing just under his breath.

  Dang, it was five thirty in the freaking morning. I made my way to the phone and answered, groggily, “Hello.”

  “Is my partner there?” Cody didn’t sound happy. He did sound sleepy.

  “What makes you think your partner would be here?” I asked. “If he’s not answering, call him on his cell phone. It’s five friggin’ thirty in the morning! Did you call to wake me up because if you’re awake then I should be awake?” My voice was rising as I woke up realizing he thought Rick and I were sleeping together. We were. Just not having sex. Where was the fun in that? Get my head together.

  “I take it he’s not there?” he asked blandly.

  “Think about it, Cody, if he was here would I tell you? You know we might be twins, but I don’t get a tingly feeling every time you and Morgan get it on. My God, if I did, there would have been a time when I would have been just one big tingle.” He laughed, and I asked, “Did you feel a tingle last night?”

  “No,” he laughed, “Okay, I’ll call him on his cell phone.”

  “You called his house phone first, just to see if he was at home didn’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  I hung up and then turned to look at Rick, who was grinning. “Tingle? Did you ask him if he felt a tingle last night? I was here babe; he wouldn’t have felt a tingle. Maybe a tickle but not a tingle.”

  “Yeah, well, your phone’s about to ring.” On cue, it rang and to give him credit he did make it sound like he had been asleep.

  “It’s a good thing he knew I had a date last night. I don’t have to worry about comments about my wearing jeans and not being home.” He grinned.

  He walked to the bathroom, took care of business and then kissed me and said, “The next time I sleep with you, you won’t have clothes on.” He grinned and kissed me goodbye.

  I stood there by the door leaning against it after locking it, thinking. What was I doing? I couldn’t let this go on. I was really starting not to hate him. It wasn’t like I wanted to hate him; I just didn’t want to like him. Oh Lord, Cody was going to freak. He would find out. It was just a matter of time before I jumped Rick. I just hoped Cody wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity at the time. I’d make Rick mad, I was good at that, and then he wouldn’t want to come back. It had worked in the past. I could make men not want to come back without even trying. It was a talent I’ve exploited, and now I could do it without even noticing I was doing it.

  I walked to the kitchen to make coffee because I wasn’t going to get any more sleep. I glanced down at the coffee table. Aw no! He left his wallet. His badge and gun were gone, but no he had to leave his wallet. What was I going to do now? Walk up to him and say, ‘Rick, Hon, you forgot your wallet on my coffee table last night. You are such a silly man.’ Yeah, that would happen. And maybe it would snow today. This was Louisiana; it was a rare day that it snowed, even in January.

  Maybe I could call him, find out where he was and ask him to roll down the window of his truck and I’d toss it through. No, that wouldn’t to work either. I couldn’t aim that well. Think, think, what was I going to do?

  I really shouldn’t look inside either. I mean, a man’s wallet was his sanctuary, like a woman’s purse. I wouldn’t like it if he went through my purse. Of course, I opened it; I was nothing if not nosy. Two credit cards, a bank card and ten dollars in cash, it was kind of sad not even a…oh there it was a little foil package, no, two little foil packages. He was thinking positive. That was a SEAL for you, always prepared. Or was that the Boy Scouts’ motto? Dang, it! I was going to have to call him so he’d know it wasn’t lost. I wonder what his credit card limit was. I could have fun before giving it back. Yeah, that was what I should do, and then he’d be so mad he wouldn’t want to see me again. Yeah, and have me arrested too. Unfortunately, no man was worth me going to jail and become Big Bertha’s bitch.

  I wouldn’t call. I’d wait till he noticed it was missing so he’d have to call me. Cody wouldn’t be around to overhear our conversation, and no one would get hurt. Namely me. Cody and I had this bond, I’d strike out at him, and he’d put me in a headlock. Brotherly love, gotta love it. Okay, the truth was he hadn’t done that since middle school, so maybe he wouldn’t do it now. No, but we had our ways with each other. He’d tell Mama.

  I called. Rick’s number was still in my cell phone’s caller ID. “Rick, I know you can’t talk, but you left your wallet on the coffee table.”

  “No, it’s okay I walked off and told him I had to take this. You miss me?”

  “No, I don’t. How are you gonna get your wallet back?” I asked dryly. I told you I knew how to piss a man off.

  “Well gosh. I liked seeing you last night too, pumpkin. The only thing that would have made it better was sex. Is that your problem? We didn’t have sex? I can help with that.” He was annoyed. I could work with that.

  “Yeah, I need sex, hot wild monkey sex. Do you know anyone I can call?”

  He didn’t answer and was quiet for so long, I thought he might have disconnected. “Are you there?”

  “Yeah,” he said in a deep bass voice.

  “I’ll leave it on your desk. I’ll make an excuse I have to leave Cody a note, and while looking for paper I’ll leave it on your desk.”

  Before he answered, I could hear Cody ask if everything was okay. Rick pulled the phone away and answered him, “Yeah, women. If you beat them, you’ll go to jail.” I could hear Cody and the other men laughing in the background. He put the phone back to his mouth and said, “Do that, leave it on my desk.” He disconnected before I could respond with something poetic by calling him a jackass. I guess truth be told; I was the jackass. I gave him no inclination I was going to act this way. What could I say? I was spontaneous.

  Okay, now I made him mad. Did I feel good about that? Of course not. Did I want him to take a good long look at what he was getting himself into? Of course not. I just hated getting hurt, so it was better to end it before it ever began. Jeez, ya think that was why I wasn’t married? If I asked Cheri, do you know what she would say? ‘Well gee, ya think?’

  I made coffee, took a shower, ate breakfast and drove to the Rapides Parish Sheriff’s Department. No one even looked at me sideways when I said I had to leave a note for Cody. I made a big show of not being able to find paper to write on. I went to Rick’s desk and left his wallet. Done, now he could buy lunch. On Cody’s note, I told him next time to call Rick’s cell phone before waking me so damn early in the morning.

  It was only seven thirty, way too early to wake up people asking them if they know anything about a painting and them telling me no. I drove to my office, wrote up my report and watched Good Morning America on my laptop with my feet propped up on my desk. At nine, I woke up to Cheri banging on my desk.

  “What time did you come in?” she asked me with an arm full of files.

  “I don’t know, seven thirty, something like that,” I said yawning. “Did you have to wake me? I was having a fierce dream about that guy on that show—oh hell, never mind I can’t remember what show he’s on and what guy I was dreaming about.” I stood up and stretched.

  “How’d the pizza party go last night?” she asked grinning.

  “Good, until this morning.”

  “What happened? Oh no, tell me what happened. You slept with him? He couldn’t…? Oh crap, just tell me,” she begged.

  “I did sleep with him. Just sleep. We fell asleep in the recliner.”

  “Is that why you’re mad?” she asked. “Because nothing happened? All you did was sleep?” She started grinning.

  “No, Miss I Can’t Believe You Don’t Have Sex As Often As I Do, that’s not the problem,” I snapped and shook my head. “The problem i
s that he’s Cody’s partner. I can’t do anything to disrupt that. Partners don’t date sisters because if they break up, it can be very uncomfortable and dangerous for both of them.”

  “You can’t…”

  I talked over her, “Don’t tell me I should keep seeing him. I’m very good at running men off. It’s complicated. I just think it’s better if we don’t see each other.” I walked out my office and into the bathroom to pee.

  I grabbed my purse and list of names and left the office with Cheri shaking her head at me. I heard her on the phone with a client, so I knew she would be busy and not try to call me back in.