Chloe Babineaux Private Investigator

by Lisa Clancey

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  My mother made it back, smiling and acting like we were going to have a sleepover.

  “This won’t be so bad,” she said, smiling, “it might even be fun.”

  I looked at her, narrowed my eyes, cocked my head to the side and asked, “Are we having fun yet?”

  “Okay, maybe fun wasn’t the right word,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but we can still talk…about whatever.”

  “Yeah, no, there’s nothing I want to talk about. I’m done with talking. You might as well fluff your pillow, and grab a blanket; this is gonna be a long night,” I said, cutting my eyes to the TV and flipping through the stations. Not much I wanted to watch. I couldn’t really concentrate, so it didn’t make any difference what I watched. I just wanted to keep my mother occupied for a few minutes and changing channels every thirty seconds seemed like the thing to do.

  “You’re starting to aggravate me with that thing,” she said with a flat voice. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were doing it on purpose.”

  I glanced over, and she was staring hard at me. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You know me too well, Mama.” I changed channels.

  “I’m not going anywhere, so pick a channel and leave it,” she said, smiling. I nodded and left it on the Discovery Channel. I could watch it. I could watch all the nice scenery without having to think about it.

  We watched for awhile, and I learned a lot about Cleopatra. It was really interesting; it made me think about buying a snake. Not really, I wasn’t a snake person. Maybe a pit bull, no my apartment complex didn’t allow pets. Thoughts on useless information isn't very time consuming, and my mother cut into my pet assessment.

  “You know,” she said softly, “you have very good friends. Cody couldn’t keep your girlfriends away.” She smiled, shaking her head. “Camilla didn’t have to come,” she laughed, “but she said either she could come here or stay home and help her son with his project. She said her husband could deal with that circus.” I knew Camilla didn’t like helping her kids with projects; she ended up doing the project, so it made me laugh too until the little men in my head started tap dancing on their bass drums.

  We sat in silence a few minutes and then she asked, “Must you call Richard, Dick Weed? That isn’t very nice. It’s downright crude.”

  “Yes, it’s very crude,” I said. “It’s a crude name for a crude man. When he starts acting like a Richard, I’ll start calling him that. Besides, I wouldn’t’ve said it if he wouldn’t’ve made comments about me puking. I really didn’t want to do that with all those people standing around.” She didn’t say anything but nodded. She had to agree he was an immature prick.

  I was thinking about turning off the TV and lights when my cell phone rang. Rick was calling me.

  “Hello?” Code: I’m not alone.

  “Hey, your mother’s with you?” He knows code.

  “Yes, I’m feeling pretty good.” Code: Yes, she’s right here.

  “Okay, that’s cool. I wanted you to know the locals don’t know anything about a truck. They talked to the neighbors, but no one had seen one,” he said.

  “Uh…neighbors?” I asked, “There were no neighbors. Who did they talk to? Did they talk to the birds? How about cross-examining a few deer? Yeah, that’s right, there were deer nearby.”

  “There’s a family that lives on his road near the highway,” he answered laughing.

  “Ahh, that family,” I said seriously. “The family that lives a mile away.” Okay, that makes perfect since. But I guess, to be perfectly honest there was no one else to talk to.

  “I know,” he said disappointed, “it doesn’t help. But I was hoping someone would have noticed because there’s only one house on that road.”

  “Thanks for going,” I said. “If you wouldn’t’ve gone, I would have.”

  “Yeah, no problem.”

  We didn’t say anything to each other for a while. I heard someone saying something in my ear, “Chloe? Chloe are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m here.” Dang, I fell asleep.

  “You fell asleep didn’t you? The rousing tells of my investigation put you to sleep.”

  “No. Well, yeah. I fell asleep. I’m exhausted, and my head hurts. My doctor won’t get me anything for pain, but I’m sleepy.” I paused and then added dryly, “Either that or the rousing tell of your investigation.”

  “It’s time I let you get some rest.” I could picture him smiling and shaking his head.

  “Good idea,” I said and smiled even though he couldn’t see me.

  We said our goodbyes and disconnected.

  I still had the smile on my face when my mother asked, “Who was that? One of the detectives on the case?” She was looking at me suspiciously like I was hiding something from her. She had been looking at me like that for the past fifteen years so you would think I would be used to it by now. No, I still wince when she looked at me with those narrowed eyes and tight mouth. How does she do that? It must be a mom thing.

  “Yes, it was and why are you looking at me like that?” That’s right. Defend yourself. Explain the ‘You are so guilty’ look.

   “Why? Do you feel guilty?” she asked, “That was Richard, wasn’t it? You do like him, don’t you?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her and said hard, “Woman, if you weren’t my mother, I’d make you wash your mouth out with soap. Where’s that bowl thingy so I can throw up again?” I shivered and said with a look on my face like I was trying not to puke, “No, no, no, I’ll say it again. No, that wasn’t Dick Weed.” I shook my head over and over even if it felt like it was going to fall off my shoulders and explode on the way down to the floor.

  “Then who was it?” she asked innocently. Oh, she was good. Ask me the real question you want to be answered. Yeah, she had years of experience of doing that too. But it was okay. I had years of experience of defusing that little maneuver too.

  “It was Rick, Cody’s partner. He went to Gardener to find out if they knew anything about a light-colored truck. Turns out they don’t.” Before she could ask me why he was calling me, I added quickly, “I asked him to call me to let me know the results.” Nothing like the truth to throw her off guard. He volunteered to call me but close enough. It was probably all in my head, and she really was asking me innocent questions. When I felt guilty, I thought everyone was as guilty as I was.

  I told her good night and took deep breaths to calm myself down so I could get some sleep. I had no reason to feel guilty, what I told her was the truth. This was ridiculous.