Chloe Babineaux Private Investigator

by Lisa Clancey

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Whoa…,” Tony said, grinning. “Is this the woman that survived a propane tank explosion and ran through a bullet storm to knock a man down so he wouldn’t be killed?”

  “No worries. Besides, it felt good to team up with Ricky again.” Chas grinned.

  “It felt like old times.” Rick pulled me off the sofa and gave me a hug. “Guys wait till I tell you what she did the other day.”

  I looked at him sideways not knowing how he was going to enlighten the group. I mean, I have so many courageous encounters; it’s hard to keep up.

  “What?” Nona asked through narrowed eyes. “What did she do that I don’t know about?”

  The men walked to the living room where Tony sat in the big recliner and with Nona sitting next to him, but she was toward the end of the chair and not squashed up against him. Brian had pulled a kitchen chair next to his so Tammy could sit down. Chas and Rick sat on the sofa with Felicia in the middle. I had no place to sit comfortably. My sofa is extra long, but it still would have been rather tight for the four of us. That didn’t seem to bother Rick. He pulled me down next to him and put his arm around my shoulder. I felt safe with it there, but it also felt strange like we were in high school or college pairing up with guys. So I sat on the floor with my back to the sofa so Felicia could have more room. Rick tossed throw pillows on the floor and sat next to me.

  “Oh, Nona, Nona,” I said in a sing-song, “I do so many courageous things it’s hard for me to keep track.”

  “In other words, she has no idea what Rick’s talking about,” Felicia said dryly.

  “Nope.” I shook my head. “No idea.”

  “The day of the explosion,” Rick said, “I was talking to her while she was eating lunch at a Burger King.”

  “Oh, no,” I begged, “you’re not.”

  “Apparently, some Green Berets…” He laughed and placed an arm around my shoulders. Obviously, he was going to tell it. “…were also in there, because they did something to Chloe, she didn’t tell me what exactly. Something about a wave, that wasn’t a wave. Anyway, our Chloe flipped off the Green Berets.” By the time he was through he was laughing hard.

  The men laughed so hard; I think they were crying. The women laughed and said, “Chloe,” several times.

  “Whoa…back up,” Tony said reaching for a slice of pizza, “you flipped off a bunch of Green Berets?”

  “Yeah, there was a gaggle of Green Berets in Burger King,” I said making a face and then reaching for my own slice. “I didn’t wait around for introductions. I walked out as fast as I could until I was outside and then I ran. I mean, what was I thinking? Those men were trained killers.”

  “Oh, it doesn’t matter if you ran,” Chas said around a bite of pizza, “that’s just freaking beautiful.”

  “This woman,” Tony said, “has balls.”

  “I don’t think I’ve heard anything so impressive since…,” Brian looked at Rick, winked and said, “You flipped off the brass.”

  “We won’t go there,” Rick said quickly. “Needless to say, while we were talking I was laughing so hard, I was crying. Her brother, my partner, Cody, walks out the bathroom and sees me laughing, so I make like I’m talking to a buddy about flippin’ off some Green Berets.” By the time he’s through telling this outrageous story, he’s laughing so hard he could barely be heard.

  Everyone in the room was laughing pretty hard, so I couldn’t help but laugh too. It was a stupid thing to do. Just add it to my list.

  A few minutes later everyone was able to breathe again, and their eyes were dry from all the laughing. The pizza boxes were put away, and we were sitting and chatting. Tammy decided we didn’t have enough of Chloe telling time.

  “Rick, did she tell you about stealing a nun’s habit, and breaking into a convent, to get information from a nun that’s taken a vow of silence?”

  “Oh, do tell,” Tony said with a laugh. “This has got to be good.”

  “I didn’t break in,” I said defending myself. “I walked in. The guard nun in the front wouldn’t let me in the front door, so I had to find another way.” I shrugged.

  “Of course, her other way was climbing a brick wall in the back of the convent.” Felicia grinned.

  “And then stealing a habit from the laundry,” Tammy continued.

  “I didn’t steal it,” I said, still defending myself. “I borrowed it. I gave it back.”

  “She put this habit on and walked right in the back door. Can you believe it?” Nona asked, shaking her head.

  “What is it when you dress like the people you’re trying to infiltrate? Dressing like the locals?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Rick grinned and said, “that’s it. Dressing like the locals.”

  “Well, that’s what I did,” I said smugly with my eyes closed.

  “She didn’t know where to go,” Tammy continued the story, “but she found the stairs and ran into another nun. She thought she was gonna get caught because she didn’t have a rosary on her belt like the other nun. Thankfully the nun didn’t notice.”

  “Do we really need to tell this?” I whined.

  “Yes, they do,” the men chorused.

  I closed my eyes, shook my head, and asked, “Why did Cheri have to get so chatty the other day while y’all were waiting for me to come back to the office for lunch?”

  I was still shaking my head when Felicia continued. “She found the nun she was hunting for because their names were on the door. Can you believe it? Why would they have names on the door?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, chuckling, “I was just glad to see the names. It was dark in the hall. It was scary. I was waiting for a nun to come out from one of those rooms, point at me and say, ‘She doesn’t belong,’ in a deep weird kind of voice.” I shuddered. “You know, like that old movie, something to do with pod people.”

  They all laughed, and Nona picked up the story. “She found the right room and knocked. The nun opened the door but wouldn’t let her in, so she stuck her foot in the door to block it.”

  “Sister Bonita was helluva lot stronger than she looked. She was little, but dang, she was strong.” The giggles in the room were growing louder.

  “Remember, the nun took a vow of silence,” Nona was saying. “She wouldn’t talk to her. Chloe talked, but the nun wrote everything down.” I rolled my eyes and shrugged as if to say, ‘What else were we going to do?’

  “After they talked and wrote,” Felicia said, giggling, “Chloe walked downstairs, but there were too many nuns to get around.”

  “It was a nun convention down there,” I said shaking my head. “I took one look and thought, ‘Great. They’re gonna catch me dressed as one of them, and they’re gonna take turns slapping me on my knuckles or palm of my hand with a ruler.’ My Confirmation teacher was a nun, and she slapped my knuckles or palms every chance she got.” I shook my head. “Not Cody, not my cousin, Cheri. Me. My children are gonna have a fear of nuns and I won’t ever have to say anything about her. It’s imbedded in my genes now.”

  Everyone was laughing so hard it took a few minutes for Tammy to get her breath before she could say anything else. “She goes back upstairs and looks for an empty room so she can climb out of the window. And she finds one in a closet and shoves herself with her big habit robe out of the small window.”

  “You act like that was the first time I ever had to climb out of a window,” I said, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

  “But wait, it gets better.” Nona laughed. “After climbing onto to the roof, she gets caught and has to make an excuse for being on the roof. Get this; she says she’s out there appreciating God’s work. She tells the other nun she should go back inside because it’s cold and Chloe didn’t want her to catch a cold.”

  “Okay here’s the ending,” Felicia said, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. “She jumps off the roof and grabs a tree limb and climbs down. But, she’s on the back side of the wall. So, she walks, or well, limps to
Cheri, grabs the stepladder and climbs back over the wall so she can put back the habit.”

  Rick is leaning against me with his arm still around my shoulders laughing so hard I have to hold him up. The others didn’t have anyone to hold them, so they were falling on top of each other laughing.

  “Okay, alright, I see I have to defend myself, again,” I said, raising my voice to be heard. “When I dropped down from the tree it had to be at least twenty feet…”

  “Cheri said more like seven feet,” Nona cut in.

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I had to climb out of the window, and my foot kept getting caught in the hem and there was no other way to get out, but to climb down a tree. And I had to put the habit back because Cheri refused to do it. I’m not a thief. Everybody knows you steal from a church you’re going straight to hell.” I threw my arms in the air and said, “And to top it all off, I asked Sister Bonita what nuns wore under their habit, and she shut the door on me.” I paused then said, “I bet it’s sexy, lacy undies.”

  They roared. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. I laughed just as hard.

  “That’s how you twisted your ankle.” Rick laughed after catching his breath.

  “Yep. And that’s why I didn’t want Cody to know how I twisted it.” I rolled my eyes and added, “He has a problem with borrowing items and entering buildings uninvited.”

  “Go figure.” Rick shrugged.

  “I know, right?” I said, looking perplexed.

  Brian took a deep breath and said, “That’s beautiful. She came up with new and inventive ways as she went along. She could give new SEAL recruits a lesson on recon.”

  “I have to admit, there are times when I really enjoy my work,” I said with a far off dreamy look in my eyes.

  We sat there catching our breaths for a few minutes. I looked around the room and said, “I’m not the only one that’s done some exceptional things…” Before I could finish, there was a knock on the door.

  I looked around and shrugged my shoulders. Rick tightened his grip and said, “Ask who it is.”

  “Who is it?” I called.

  “Johnny.” Oh, no.

  I leaned my head back on the sofa cushion and groaned, “This night just gets better and better.”

  “Who’s Johnny?” Rick asked as I was getting up.

  I removed my .22 from my hip and said, “I better leave this here. I may use it on him.”

  Johnny was the man I was once madly in love with. I was planning a nice wedding when he called me and said he thought it was best we put our wedding on hold. On hold he says. One doesn’t put a wedding on hold. You either get married, or you don’t. That’s how Cody met Morgan. He came home from leave and ran into the both of them coming out of the mall while he was going in. He told Morgan what Johnny did to me, and she slapped Johnny. Well, now she didn’t have a way home. Cody being the honorable Marine that he was, gave her a ride home and the rest is history.

  “Her ex-fiancé,” Felicia told him. “He comes here for a booty-call about once a month, and Chloe throws him out.”

  I checked the peephole, but I knew it was an asshole. I opened the door just wide enough for me to stand in the opening. Johnny has dark blond hair and blue eyes and six feet tall. His body was very toned but not nearly as toned as Rick and his buddies.

  “What do you want?” I snarled.

  “Hey, I just heard,” he said, looking me up and down. “How are you doing?”

  “Good, I’m good,” I said, closing the door.

  “Wait,” he said, blocking the door. “I came by to find out how you were and to tell you my unit has been called up. I’m going to Afghanistan next week.” He was in the Air National Guard and was a helicopter pilot. He said he was a very good pilot. I hoped so for his unit’s sake.

  “Oh, well, be careful, stay safe.”

  I was closing the door when it was held and opened wider; Rick said from behind me, “Did you say Afghanistan? Been there, it’s a hell hole keep your head down.”

  Johnny looked from Rick to me, like he was stunned to see a man in my apartment. I was too, but that was beside the point.

  Rick held out his hand, smiled humorlessly and said, “Rick Thompson, and just so you know, if you ever come back here for sex, either before your deployment or after, I will rip your head off and shove it up your ass.”

  Johnny’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open but I said, “Ooh, visual imagery.”

  His eyes hardened, and he said, “I didn’t come here for sex. I came here to see how Chloe was doing and to tell her I was being deployed.”

  “I came here to talk, as well,” Rick said with a laugh. “If you see me tomorrow and I have a goofy grin on my face it means we had a nice long talk.”

  Johnny glared, and I waggled my eyebrows. He was walking away as I said, “Hey Johnny, now you have a different image to think about.”

  I closed the door turned to Rick who was grinning broadly, and I said, “Thanks for the help but I could have gotten rid of him.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he asked, “How is that working for you?”

  I opened my mouth took a deep breath and then closed it, “Alright. Point taken.”

  Tony was looking at my .22 and asked, “When was the last time you cleaned this?”

  “Um…a while ago.”

  “Do you have any gun oil?” he asked with a disgusted look.

  “I’ll get it.” I walked to my bedroom and took out my gun cleaning supplies from my closet. I walked back to the living room and placed a towel on the coffee table with the cleaning supplies.

  “Cool,” Tony grinned, “I haven’t cleaned a weapon this small in a long time.”

  “Knock yourself out,” I said with a laugh.

  Rick sat on the floor with his arm on the couch with his hand holding up his head and his body twisted toward me. I leaned against him and was very comfortable.

  “Rick or should I say, Ricky,” Nona grinned, “she should have had you threaten Johnny a long time ago. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen Chloe smile while dealing with him.”

  Rick bowed his head and said, “My pleasure.”

  I looked up at him and asked, “You don’t mind the name, Ricky?”

  “Hell, no,” Tony cut in. “He could be called a lot worse. Like asshole or jerk-off or jackass or…”

  “Alright, they get it,” Rick cut him off. “No, I don’t mind. My family calls me Rick, so either one is fine.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I grinned, “payback time. Although, I have to admit their escapades don’t have near the panache mine has.”

  “No, sweetie,” Felicia laughed, “and that’s why we love you.”

  “Wait,” I said confused, “did she just say they keep me around because I make them look good?” I knew it. I was the grenade the wing-man jumps on so his friend could chat-up the babe.

  “Yeah,” Nona winked, “that too.” I knew there was a reason they kept me around. This was gonna be fun.

  I smiled a straight smile at Nona, “Nona and I went to school together, and we went to college with Tammy and Felicia.”

  “Anyway, we were sixteen, and it was a hot summer’s night, and I was I spending the night at Nona’s house. Around midnight she talks me into going outside to her tree house, from which the neighbor boy’s bedroom could be seen from.”

  “Uh-oh.” Tony grinned. “I don’t know if I like where this is going.”

  “Yeah, well, this tree house had been around for about fifteen years, so the floor boards were a bit rough.”

  “To say the least,” Nona laughed.

  “Because it was late, we only had our sleep shirts on,” I said, shaking my head. “No one was around, so no one saw us in our cute long shirts.”

  The guys were grinning, probably picturing themselves at sixteen and what they were doing. Probably not the same things we were doing. They were more likely taking off sixteen-year-old girls’ nightshirts.

  “Eric, her neighbor, is in his bedroom
with just his shorts on. He was our age, sixteen and very thin, but he had an older brother that was twenty that was home from college and slept in the room next to his.”

  “Am I gonna like this story?” Rick asked.

  Felicia and Tammy giggled, I shrugged and continued, “Eric’s brother, Steve, was built like an athlete lean and toned. Very nice to a sixteen-year-old girl.” Nona and I laughed.

  “While Eric was in his room, Steve was in his room changing for bed. That’s right, off came the shirt, off came the shorts then off came the underwear.” Nona grinned and groaned.

  “Now, remember we were sixteen and had never seen a naked man before,” I said seriously.

  “It was very orgasmic. But it ruined the moment when we both scooted closer to the tree house window and got a butt full of splinters.” Nona shook her head sadly.

  The men laughed, and Chas said, “Sixteen-year-old girls aren’t as innocent as they seem.”

  “No,” Felicia said laughing, “these two weren’t since they had to talk themselves out of asking Steve to take the splinters out.” That got another laugh.

  “You might say that was one of my escapades, too, and it was. But it was Nona’s, sweet Nona’s idea to go out there in the first place,” I said, grinning.

  “She’s still a voyeur,” Felicia laughed.

  Nona raised one shoulder and nodded, agreeing.

  “Now Felicia,” Nona said, turning to Felicia, “has learned when the meteorologist says it’s a fifty percent chance of rain not to wear a white T-shirt, thin khaki shorts while wearing a white bra and fuchsia underwear.”

  “She was so chic, but it looked like she wasn’t wearing anything at all. Which would have been okay, except,” Tammy said looking at Felicia and grinning broadly, “we were at Chloe’s nephew’s T-ball game.”

   We were laughing, and it took me a few tries to say, “A few...a few of the divorced dads asked for her number that day. And that was all you, baby,” I said pointing at her with both hands, “I had nothing to do with that one.”

  Felicia looked at me and said, “Touché,” while kicking me.

  “Hey, she kicked me,” I said, laughing.

  Felicia, Nona and I turned to Tammy. Tammy looked at us hard, and said, “You can’t resist, can you? You have to tell that story.”

  Felicia grinned and said, “Yeah, we kind of do.”

  “This sounds disturbing,” Brian said with a glance to his buddies.

  “But we lived to tell the tale,” Felicia said forebodingly.

  “Oh, good God,” Tammy rolled her eyes, “it’s not that bad.”

  “No, yeah, it really is,” we three said together and laughed.

  “But entertaining,” I said looking up at Rick. I didn’t realize we were quite so close. He grinned and winked. I turned my head back to the group and continued trying not to be flustered. “It was a hot, humid summer night two years ago in Alexandria, Louisiana. Tammy, being the horny bitch that she is…” I said with a straight face.

  “Oh…Chloe!” Tammy slapped at me and missed.

  “Oh, yeah. Nona’s the horny bitch,” I laughed.

  “Well, she got the bitch right,” Nona glared.

  “I think she got it all right,” Felicia laughed while fist bumping me.

  “I’m in love,” Tony purred.

  We laughed, and Felicia said, “Chloe’s right about the two years part, well actually, as I said, she was right about everything. Anyway, the five of us went to Daytona for our vacation. Cheri was with us; we tanned, danced, went snorkeling, and did the tourist thing.”

  “And that’s why I love living in Florida,” Chas grinned. “Women doing the tourist thing.”

  “Anyway, when we returned, Tammy found out her boyfriend had been seeing someone else. A co-worker had seen them out.” I said sadly, “Tammy wasn’t a happy camper.”

  “Yeah, she sits over there with her porcelain complexion, blond hair, blue eyes, looking like a beautiful doll,” Nona said dreamily. “Which she is, and it takes a lot to get her riled.”

   Brian grinned and put an arm around the back of her chair. “I think I’m gonna like this story,” he said, laughing.

  “But when she does get riled,” I said, “watch out. You could lose an arm, or an eye or whatever she can reach. Didn’t you see her slap at me? I’m just glad Rick was sitting between us.”

  “Ouch. But it does sound interesting.” Brian was starting to leer. I think he was getting turned on by our innocent Tammy.

  Tammy had crossed her arms trying to look like she wasn’t enjoying the attention. It wasn’t working.

  “Anyway, the five of us drove to Jackson’s apartment to confront him. We had drunk a little encouragement before leaving Tammy’s apartment, so we were ready for action,” Nona said, grinning broadly. Felicia, Tammy and I started giggling.

  “Uh-oh, they were drunk and ready for action, and now they’re giggling. This can’t be good,” Chas said, laughing. “But then again, drunken women ready for action has a nice ring to it.”

  “Jackson lived or lives—he’s not dead, in a townhouse—which is really quite nice,” I said, shrugging my shoulders and ignoring Chas’ comment. “Anyway, out front bending over was a woman…Tiffany.”

  “Here we go,” Tony laughed. “What did my girl do?”

  Nona turned to look at him, and the rest of us just stared at him. As if to say, ‘Your girl?’

  “I told you I was in love. You, Chloe, deserve a medal, but I’m in love with Nona.”

  Nona rolled her eyes, shook her head, ignored Tony’s comment and said, “We discussed the situation before piling out of Tammy’s roomy Honda CRV. I’m always in the middle, so it’s not like I can open a window to get any air.”

  “Do you want some cheese, Nona?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “We decided Cheri and Felicia were gonna take Tiffany from each side. Nona and I were gonna jump on her back, and Tammy was gonna bitch slap her. Sounds easy right? I mean, think about it, it’s five against one. What could go wrong?”

  “Never ask that. Never ask what could go wrong.” Brian laughed. “You should always know what could go wrong.”

  “We should have thought of that because Murphy crashed the party,” Tammy groaned. “It started out fine. I ran around to get in front of Tiffany, Cheri, and Felicia each grabbed an arm. Nona and Chloe jumped on her back.” She shrugged and said, “Easy, peasy.”

  “They really know how to build up the tension, don’t they?” Chas laughed.

  “I don’t know if I want to know what happened,” Rick said with a laugh.

  “You don’t, but we’re gonna tell you anyway.” I looked around the room. The men were all wide eyed and with wide grins.

  Felicia laughed and said, “Okay, as I said, we took off to our assigned places. We jump and grab. We couldn’t have timed it better if we tried. And considering Tammy was the only one that wasn’t drunk, that was impressive.”

  “Tiffany rose up like a phoenix. It was like one of those silly movies you see where a guy has fifteen other guys on top of him and the top guys go flying off of him when he stands up,” Tammy said, laughing. “Nona and Chloe fly off her back, with Chloe on top of Nona. Cheri and Felicia go off to the side, and I ran from behind her so I wouldn’t be caught between her and the house.”

  “Very good,” Brian beamed, “you don’t want to be trapped.”

  “Standing in front of us was a six-foot two inch, two hundred twenty pounds, braless, double E woman, wearing a white tank top and daisy dukes.” Nona paused and then added with a shake of her head. “With a big-ass handgun.”

  “In the pouring rain. At that instant the bottom fell out of the sky,” I said. “We didn’t see a gun when we went barrelin’ after her.”

  “She must have had it between her breasts,” Felicia said.

  “She could have hidden an Uzi between her breasts,” Nona said admiringly.

  “And pulled the trigger without using her hands,” I said.

 
“Tiffany was utterly impressive,” Tammy said, nodding.

  The men lost it, laughing and repeating the word utterly, and we four women were staring off into space remembering. It was really an awesome night. We worked really well together as a team.

  “Well, what happened?” Rick asked after pulling himself together.

  “That was the biggest gun I had ever seen,” Tammy said.

  “I was terrified,” Felicia said.

  “I was scared shitless,” Nona said.

  “I still have nightmares,” I said.

  “My God, what kind of gun was it?” Chas asked.

  The four of us looked at him and with a straight face said, “A Derringer.”

  The men roared. It took five minutes for them to get themselves back together again. I thought a couple of them, and I won’t name names, peed their pants.

  They took several deep breaths and wiped their eyes and generally got themselves back together before Brian asked, “What happened next? There’s got to be something after that.”

  “Yeah, Tammy, Felicia, and Cheri took off for the car while Chloe and I were backing up toward the car. I had my hand on Chloe’s stomach like this.” She held her hand up with fingers spread. “We didn’t want to turn our back on her. In case she grew larger we wanted to be ready,” Nona said laughing. Actually, we all laughed.

   “Double E Tiffany, in her wet, white tank top was yelling, ‘Who the hell are you people?’ and waving her big-ass gun around,” Tammy said and got more laughs. “Then it thundered. It lightning and thundered at the same time, and we jumped a foot off the ground it was so loud.”

  “Unfortunately, Tiffany did too while having her finger on the Derringer’s trigger. Needless to say, her finger flinched,” I said.

  “Tell me the bullet went wide,” Chas said, a bit more serious now. The chuckles came to a complete stop.

  “Considering we don’t know what she was aiming at it could have gone wide. She swears she didn’t mean to pull the trigger,” Felicia said raising her shoulders and nodding. “I have to say we believed her.”

  “In any case, the bullet went through Nona’s hand,” Nona raised her hand to show the scar, “and lodged in Chloe’s left ovary,” Tammy explained, fighting a grin. She knew that would get a response.

  “What? You were shot?” I don’t know who said it first; the men were all talking at once.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been shot?” Rick asked.

  “You didn’t ask. So this,” I said pointing at my left temple, “isn’t my first rodeo.”

  “Go ahead, Chloe, show them your scar,” Nona laughed, “I showed them mine.”

  All the men looked at me like they were waiting for me to show them my scar. I narrowed my eyes and said, “I am not gonna show my scar. It wasn’t that big a deal. Well, it was, but I still have one ovary. I just don’t know how well that one works.” Getting shot hurt like hell but I wasn’t going to admit it.

  “Not a big deal she says. Do you know what she said after she was shot?” Not waiting for an answer Nona continued, “Well, hell, I was having fun ‘til this happened.”

  “That’s what you said when you were shot, Brian,” Tony laughed.

  “We were kicking ass. Then I got shot in my upper arm which really put a downer on the rest of the day,” Brian laughed.

  “I know, right? We were working as a team having fun, kicking ass, well… we weren’t actually kicking ass.” I said making a face. “Tiffany could have thrown the gun and did as much damage.”

  “Hell, she could have thrown the bullet and did as much damage,” Nona laughed.

  “Yeah, good times,” Tammy grinned, “especially since I wasn’t the one that got shot.”

  “Damn straight,” Felicia agreed with a laugh.

  Nona and I gave each other an air high five. We were lucky, even if it was just a Derringer. We didn’t press charges against Tiffany, and she didn’t press charges against us. We were all fined for disturbing the peace, but that was all. Cody of course gave us all hell and he was given a hard time at work. But I really think he liked the attention my stunts give him. He denies it, and I deny pulling stunts, so it was all good.

  We talked a while longer about some of the things the men had pulled on each other. With them being in a war torn or third world country their stunts were a lot more dangerous.

  Like when they were sixty clicks from their extraction area and had to be there in twenty minutes, so they stole the mayor of a Central American city’s car. The whole town came after them carrying Uzis and MP5’s. I wouldn’t have laughed. I would have been scared to death. They laughed the whole time they were telling the story.

  The time was passing quickly when Brian’s cell phone rang. Their senior chief was telling them to get back to the airport, and they would leave within the hour. Rick could have driven his buddies back in his truck alone, but Tony wanted Nona to ride with them.

  “Come with us to the airport Nona, when Senior said within the hour that’s more of a suggestion,” he said with a laugh. “He wants to make sure we’re there and ready to go wheels up.”

  Nona looked at us like she wanted to go but wasn’t going anywhere with a bunch of men by herself. She opened her mouth to answer when Brian said, “Tammy, why don’t you come too? Me and you can ride with Ricky and Chloe, and Chas and Felicia can ride in another car with Tony and Nona.”

  We piled into Rick’s truck and Felicia’s Camry. Nona has a 1968 Mustang, sweet car. When you have a couple of guys that can bench press a Mustang, there’s not much of a choice but go with the leg room.

  Walking into the terminal made me a little nervous. Of course, the men didn’t let us get very far away because there were several other men in their unit. With their equipment and those men, that plane was going to have one hell of a time getting off the ground. Maybe they should have another plane to give them a push.

  The airport terminal was fairly new, with a waterfall to help drown out the noise. It was about eight feet high and about eight feet across, with a pool to catch the water. I was told when it was built it made too much noise and had to be refitted. A sign said, ‘Do Not Throw Coins,’ but of course there were coins in the pool. It is at an airport; some poor fools were wishing for luck in the air.

  We were talking near the waterfall when a commanding-looking man walked over to us. Tony turned to him, smiled and said, “Senior Chief, I want you to meet the woman I fell in love with tonight.” The Senior Chief smiled, and Tony put his arm around Nona’s shoulders and said, “This is Nona, and these other beauties are Tammy, Felicia, and Chloe. I haven’t laughed so much in years. These women could teach new recruits how to think on their feet.”

  “This is Senior Chief Bushrod,” Rick said.

  “And I’m Lt. Sean MacCaren, their commander,” said a man a little older than the others but just as well built. Rick turned toward the men to talk but kept his hand in mine. I don’t know why I let him hold my hand, but I liked it.

  I have to admit; it was intimidating being around all those guys that were trained to disarm and well, kill. Nona looked like she could have taken them all on, and probably could have while Tammy, Felicia and I wanted to hide under a chair. Nona and Tony were the shortest ones in the building, but they were also the only two that looked completely comfortable.

  “I feel like a bar bunny,” Felicia leaned over Tammy to tell me, so we could both hear her.

  We nodded, wide-eyed without answering. Brian was standing across from Tammy, leaned toward us and said, “You are not bar bunnies. If you were, you wouldn’t have stayed at Chloe’s apartment. You would have suggested we leave.” He looked at Tammy and Felicia, winked and said, “I don’t remember anyone suggesting that.”

  “I even liked climbing out of Chloe’s bedroom window,” Chas said with a laugh. “Take care of the rifles, Chloe. Make sure they’re clean.”

  “Back up,” Lt. MacCaren said, “did you say, climb out of Chloe’s window? Should I ask why
? And rifles?”

  Everyone looked at me. “It was nothing…” Rick was saying.

  “I flipped out,” I cut in, “I’m a private investigator, and I was hired to find a painting, and someone doesn’t want me to find it. I…”

  “Wait a minute. Is this the woman that was blown across a yard by a propane tank explosion and shot while tackling a man so he wasn’t killed?” Lt. MacCaren asked grinning.

  “While being shot herself?” The Senior Chief asked looking amazed.

  I looked at Rick, shook my head and glared without saying anything. Why did he have to tell everyone about me? I mean, I’m glad I was there to knock Jason down, but he might not have been shot at in the first place if it wasn’t for me.

  “Chloe…you don’t mind if I call you Chloe do you?” The Senior Chief asked.

  I shook my head no.

  “Good. I have seen men flip out for far less than that.” He looked me in the eye and asked, “You didn’t shoot anybody tonight did you?”

  “No, but I scared the hell out of the pizza girl.” I looked at Rick and asked, “You did give her a nice tip, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. She’ll wish everyone opened a curtain and screamed at her,” he said, laughing, which made the other men laugh, and in turn made my friends laugh.

  “Don’t believe everything these boneheads tell you,” I said, and waved my arm around to my friends. “I won’t be there to defend myself like I did with these skinny-ass bimbos.”

  “Did she just call us skinny-ass?” Felicia asked looking at Tammy.

  “And bimbos?” Tammy asked.

  “Yeah. What are you gonna do about it, bimbo?” I asked bulking up with my hands on my hips and jerking my head to the side. The terminal around us grew quiet. The guys standing around were ready for a cat fight. I could see a few grins from the ones standing behind Nona.

  “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you said we were skinny.” Felicia grinned. “And you look damn good, too, bitch.”

  We laughed, and fist bumped each other. There were a few comments about being disappointed. They can go to a strip joint and pay if they wanted to see women fight. The four of us weren’t going to. Besides, I didn’t see Jell-o or a mud pit, so why bother?

  Someone in uniform talked to the lieutenant, and he announced it was time for them to go. We gave the guys a hug and watched them walk to the plane. Tony whispered something to Nona before leaving, and she blushed, but I didn’t hear what he had said. The other guys said something to Felicia and Tammy, but they didn’t blush. It actually takes a lot to make Nona blush so it must have been a doozy. That means I didn’t have to ask, I could guess. No, I was going to ask.