Forbidden Princess

by Ella Miles

  “I can get information about Nolan for you. You can take me back to Vincent’s condo later under the guise that I’m getting some of my belongings for the week. I can poke around, ask the security guards, get into Vincent’s office.” I could even ask Vincent himself. He’d tell me, but it would mean I would owe him something. I don’t tell Beckett that, though. It’s hard to keep track of everyone I owe a debt to—Vincent, Caius, and Beckett.

  No one moves as I speak. The only thing I notice is Beckett’s nostrils slowly widening then narrowing with each breath. I’m not even sure he’s blinked.

  Then he slides the computer off his lap, stands, and walks slowly toward me.

  I don’t move. I hold my ground.

  If he wants to hurt me to put me in my place, I’ll fight back. I know how—I proved that tonight. He may have won in that box, but I’ll at least get a good punch or kick to the balls in.

  He seems to notice the twinkle in my eyes and the sway of my hips as I get balanced, ready to throw a punch or kick or dodge one.

  “Tell me why I should believe you’re anything but daddy’s dirty little whore?”

  I frown.

  “That you’re not just pretty arm candy that your father parades around as a reward when really all you are is a gold digger, happy to play the part so someday she can play with her new husband’s credit card.”

  My ears burn red. “I—”

  He cuts me off. “Tell me why I should trust you when you’re nothing but a sleazy seductress whose game it is to make men fall at her knees or fight each other to the death for her? That’s what we’re doing, isn’t it? I may have come up with the game, but your father and you turned it into a deathmatch. Only one man is going to survive—the man your father deems worthy. You don’t care who that is as long as he’s filthy rich.”

  I flinch at every hurtful word he spits my way. He’s angry—at me, my father, the world. I thought his grief would start slowly getting better. Very slowly, like fog in the morning getting thinner until one day it’s just gone, nothing but a memory. But he’s only become even more broken and cynical. I’m afraid his grief is going to keep boring into him until it consumes him.

  “You know why we call you Princess? Because that’s what you are. A slutty princess who does other people’s bidding.”

  My hand moves to slap him as his words sting my own cheek. Every word is hurtful and cruel. Every word is laced with his heartbreak. He may need to get the words out, but it doesn’t mean I have to stand here and take it.

  He pulls his head back, and I miss. His movement is automatic; he didn’t have to think about it at all.

  “Tell me, Princess, why should I trust you when all you’ve ever done is cause me pain? You don’t care about me. You don’t care about any of us. All these guys behind me feel the exact same way. All you care about is you. So stop trying to prove your loyalty to me; it’s not going to end well.”

  And then he turns and storms away. I hear the echo of a glass door shutting on his way out of the cabin.

  I’m left speechless.

  Lennox stands, glaring at me as he heads to his room. Even Hayes, who usually is carefree and will talk to me about anything, is speechless as he walks to his room.

  “Odette’s funeral is tomorrow. That’s why Beckett and Caius are acting the way they are. It’s not personal,” Gage says, picking up his laptop.

  “Isn’t it?”

  Gage shrugs.

  “Sleep on the couch and don’t make trouble, not tonight. If you try to run, if you try anything, Beckett will kill you. And then Corsi will kill him. So if you care about him at all, then sleep and stay in the house all day tomorrow. That’s how you gain a sliver of his trust.”

  Then Gage leaves me alone in the living room.

  Odette’s funeral is tomorrow.

  They haven’t even buried her yet.

  Of course, his grief is escalating. Of course, he blames me.

  I lie down on the couch, not even bothering to change into anything more comfortable or wrap myself in a blanket. It won’t matter anyway.

  My sleep tonight is going to be restless, filled with terrors and nightmares of my own grief returning. Just like the fog in the mountains, it always comes back, until it slowly slips away once more. But tonight, my grief will hang around like a heavy fog; I won’t be able to escape it.

  10

  Beckett

  I straighten my black tie as I look in the mirror. I hate ties. It’s one of those skills that took me forever to learn after my accident. It’s hard enough with two good hands, but with only one hand now, it’s a challenge.

  I considered using my prosthetic arm packed away in one of my bags, but even the thought of having to tie a tie couldn’t make me put that thing on. Some people like using prosthetics, but I don’t deserve to replace what I lost. And at Odette’s funeral, I want to be myself. Just myself, nothing more.

  I could have asked one of the guys for help, but I didn’t. I wanted to be by myself before we leave. As soon as I step foot outside this bedroom door, I’m going to be surrounded by people, when all I want is to be alone with my thoughts.

  No, all I want is Odette back.

  It’s the one thing I can never have.

  There’s a soft knock on the door, and Hayes says, “Five minutes.”

  He doesn’t wait for an answer before I hear his feet descend the stairs. He must have drawn the short straw.

  I adjust the tie one more time, ensuring it’s perfect before walking out of the bedroom. For once, I don’t mind wearing a suit—anything to honor Odette.

  I head downstairs, expecting to see everyone waiting for me. However, the room is empty and quiet except for Ri’s soft moans as she sleeps on the couch. No, tosses and turns in a fit is more like it. Her lips tremble as she speaks in her sleep to whatever monster she sees in her mind. Sweat mats her hair down her face, but her body trembles as if she’s freezing.

  “No, please, no. It can’t be true…” she says.

  I freeze, intent on listening to whatever torments her so I can use it against her later. Instead, she just turns over, away from me. She doesn’t murmur any other words.

  Caius comes down the stairs. He looks at me, then her, with a coldness in his eyes.

  I hope he’s able to grieve today, feel something. Scream, yell, cry, punch someone—anything that shows he’s still in there. Before her death, Caius and I used to be good friends. Now, all that’s left of him is an empty shell.

  He watches her tremble. He sees the throw blanket at her feet. He does nothing to comfort her. He doesn’t cover her. He doesn’t wake her from her nightmares. He doesn’t hold her. He does none of the things the old Caius would have done. He just looks at me one more time, then walks out.

  I stare down at Ri, hoping she’ll give me any clue as to what she’s dreaming about. She doesn’t speak.

  My heart hardens watching her.

  She took what was mine. She took Odette from me.

  I know it’s ridiculous to place all the blame on her. If she played a part in her death, it was a small one. Ri was with me when Odette was taken and eventually killed. But Ri is the only target I have.

  I reach down, my hand feeling the pulse in her delicate neck. It’s thundering.

  I may have called her a whore, weak, pathetic, a gold digger. That may all be true, but there is one thing she is above all that—fierce.

  I stroke her neck, resisting my desire to strangle her in her sleep. I’m about to walk away, when I spot the throw blanket at her feet again. I may be heartless, but she’s mine. And I need her alive long enough to torture later.

  So I cover her with the blanket, and her trembles ease. But that’s all I’ll do to help her. I’m heartless now.

  Then I walk out to find the others loaded up in one of the SUVs. I climb into the passenger seat. Lennox is driving, and the other three are in the back.

  “You good?” Lennox asks. I know it’s the only time he’ll ask, although I
doubt it will be the last time I hear that or a similar question.

  I nod, but I’ll never be good again.

  We arrive at a small country-looking church. The exterior white walls could use some new paint in a few places, but its dark steeple still holds strong against the luscious green surroundings. You wouldn’t know we’re only a couple of hours from the city. You’d think we are in the middle of unending farmland.

  I wasn’t involved much in the planning. Mr. Monroe said he’d take care of the details, that I had more important things to worry about in getting retribution for her.

  Part of me wishes I would have been more involved, though. Odette wasn’t really religious. I don’t recall her enjoying farmland or the countryside. The only thing I can say about this place is it’s private and peaceful. At least that part Odette would have appreciated.

  And she would have been at home with the hoard of people filing into the church. I, on the other hand, want to run from all of these people. There are a few faces I recognize as I stand in the grass just outside the car, staring at people as they slowly enter. Family members she introduced me to or friends of hers, but most of the faces are unfamiliar.

  Caius gets out of the car and walks straight to his father, with Lennox following behind. I guess Lennox has assigned himself to Caius today in case he explodes. I don’t know Lennox’s full story, but I do know from hushed conversations that he’s lost someone. He’s the only one truly experienced with this kind of grief.

  That leaves Hayes and Gage to babysit me. Hayes stands awkwardly to my left with his hands in his pockets. He opens and closes his mouth several times but says nothing. Gage isn’t as tepid.

  “Most everyone here belongs to the Retribution Kings. They are all on your side. They want you to be the leader. They want you to succeed with initiation. You don’t need to see any of them as a threat. If you want to be introduced to anyone, you can. If you want to be left alone, you can. It’s up to you,” Gage says.

  But I know it’s bullshit. It may be my wife’s funeral, but this is the first time they’ve seen me after I found out why I was chosen. After I found out that Odette was the daughter of the leader of the Retribution Kings. That Mr. Monroe is dying. That I am expected to take his place.

  I can’t look weak, not even here. If I want the role that Odette married me for, then I have to be strong. I have to look them all in the eye. I have to grieve without tears, without wearing my heart on my sleeve, without emotion outside of wanting revenge. I have to be the boss they want me to be, or I’ll lose everything I have left.

  And I need to take care of retribution for Odette myself.

  I start walking toward the church, my shoulders back, my head held high, no tears or overly grief-stricken look in my eyes. I let the need to punish those responsible overwhelm anything else I feel.

  Everyone stares, stopping everything else they are doing as they watch me walk with Gage and Hayes behind me. I don’t stop for introductions. It doesn’t matter to me who any of them are, just that they know who I am.

  Several men nod at me as I walk, as if they already accept me. Others tense like they already fear me. A few hold tears in their eyes. I ignore them all as I walk into the church.

  A woman at the entrance hands me a program. She gives me a tired smile. “I’m sorry for your loss,” the gray-haired woman says.

  My jaw tenses. I hate those words, although they’re the first time they’ve been spoken to me. I nod solemnly and continue down the aisle of the church. Each step I take, I can hear the gentle creak of the wooden floor. I focus on that and not the unending faces of sorrow staring back at me.

  Mr. Monroe and Caius are already sitting in the first pew, with Lennox sitting in the second row. Lennox notices me first and gives me a brief nod of reassurance before he stands to let Gage and Hayes in.

  “Mr. Monroe—” I start, but then I realize I don’t know how to finish that sentence, certainly not with ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or ‘How are you holding up,’ so my words drop.

  He moves to stand, reaching for his cane.

  “No, don’t get up.”

  He growls, almost like I insulted him. He grabs his cane, and this time I don’t interject. I don’t even offer a hand to help him.

  His knees creak, his back hunches forward, and his hand shakes on the cane before he finally gets enough momentum to stand. When his eyes meet mine, I see nothing but the proud man, the leader, the boss, the king of all those who chose to join him in his mission—a mission I still don’t fully understand.

  He holds out his left hand to me.

  I stare at it a moment before I take it with my own left hand. It’s an awkward moment.

  “Today, we mourn the loss of Odette, but it’s also the start of a new day. I may have lost a daughter, but I gained a son. Soon, I’ll be buried right next to her. Prove that we chose correctly,” he says.

  I’ve never wanted to hit an old, dying man before, but I do now.

  We chose.

  WE.

  This was all a business arrangement. I never got to ask Odette if any part of it was real for her before she was killed. That’s what Mr. Monroe is reminding me. The emotion I show should reflect that.

  Somehow I gather enough strength to nod and walk to my seat beside Caius without using his cane to whack him over the head with it. How dare he remind me at my wife’s funeral that it was never about love. That it was all a lie. That my grief isn’t as important as his or Caius’s. That my grief shouldn’t impact my ability to show that I’m a true leader.

  They chose correctly…

  I want to destroy them all. If it wasn’t for them, Odette would still be alive. She wouldn’t have been pressured to date me. Maybe she wouldn’t have even met me.

  The minister starts, but I barely pay attention. None of the words he speaks are real. None of this is real. My marriage wasn’t even real.

  I stare down at the program and see Odette’s smiling face back at me. It wasn’t real.

  I twist the program in my lap.

  I want to run out and punch anyone who stands in my way.

  I want to scream.

  Cry.

  Lose myself in a bottle of whiskey.

  Forget everything else.

  Even my need for revenge.

  Revenge for Odette.

  Revenge for me.

  But then I see it—her casket.

  It’s being carried by six men into the church.

  It’s white with gold trim and light pink flowers on top.

  I sit up straighter, straining to look closer, trying to understand why there’s a casket. Is it just because it feels wrong to hold a service without a casket?

  Gage leans forward until he can whisper to me. “Corsi arranged for Mayhem to return her body.”

  I stare at the pile of dirt covered in flowers over where I just watched Odette’s casket be buried. Most people have begun to leave, but a few still hang around.

  “I need to help my dad home,” Caius says.

  I nod. It’s the only reaction I know how to give that won’t break me.

  Caius leads his father away, with Lennox trailing him. Neither of them broke. No tears were shed. No emotion shown. They only displayed strength. I don’t know how they did it. How did they endure listening to endless words spoken about someone who was a daughter, a sister?

  “Go with them,” I say to Gage and Hayes. But it’s not just them I say it to. My friends, my oldest family—Enzo, Kai, Zeke, Siren, Langston, and Liesel stand beyond the trees, watching but not getting close enough that anyone but me knows they are here. As much as they’d ease my grief, I can’t go to them. I can’t talk to them. I have to show my loyalty to the Retribution Kings, even if I want to slaughter them all for their part in Odette’s death. Seeing my friends would just remind me of more pain from my past that I’m not ready to face—not today.

  “You sure, man? We—” Hayes says.

  “Yes, I need to be alone,” I say as cl
early as I can, knowing they’ll be reading my lips.

  “I’ll make sure we leave the keys in the car for you.”

  I nod, watching as my friends nod too.

  And then I turn back to her grave.

  “You loved her, didn’t you?” a voice says next to me, startling me.

  I look at the unknown man out of the corner of my eye. He’s an older man, maybe early sixties. I assume he’s part of the Retribution Kings, whatever that means, so I don’t know how I should answer. Stoically, like I’m not bothered that she’s dead, or…

  “Yes, I loved her,” I answer, honestly.

  “I can tell. I lost my wife five years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He waves me off. “Nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t kill her; that bastard cancer did.”

  I put my hand in my pocket and nod.

  “Odette was far too young to die.”

  “She was.”

  “You blame yourself, don’t you?”

  I nod.

  “It’s Beckett, right?”

  I nod.

  “I’m Walter. Beckett, let me tell you something. Monroe, he…” He shakes his head. “He knew the risks. He knew he should have protected his daughter better. He should have told you the truth sooner. Instead, he let you two live the fairytale for far too long without ensuring the dragon was slain first. This isn’t your fault, son. It’s his and our enemies.”

  I stare at the mountain of flowers that will soon decay into the earth, just like Odette. His words don’t make the pain in my chest any softer.

  “It was the mafia, wasn’t it? They killed her.”

  I nod, sure deep in my bones that it was Corsi. Why, I’m still not sure, but I will.

  “The mafia, you know what they’re good for?”

  I shake my head.

  “Revenge.”

  I stare at him.

  “But we’re better. They seek revenge by simply killing. We get revenge by taking everything from them, destroying everyone they love, and only then do we offer mercy by killing them,” he finishes. He pats me on my shoulder, and then he walks away. He’s the last to leave. And then it’s just me and Odette.