The Art of the Hustle

by Edward Mullen

  ***

  I could hardly wait for the night to come. I had a second date with Ashley, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with her. I needed to keep the date cheap so I scheduled it after dinner to eliminate the possibility of her getting hungry.

  As soon as I arrived back at my apartment, I went to the kitchen to make some food. I filled my pot with water, put it on the stove, and turned the knob on the corresponding element. Nothing happened. I tried the others, but they were all dead.

  I thought for a moment then came up with plan B.

  I took out my electric grill and plugged it into a nearby socket, but it didn’t work either. I tried a few other sockets around the apartment, but after a while, it was confirmed. I did not have electricity.

  I opened the door of my apartment and found an outlet in the hallway. I plugged in my grill and inconspicuously tucked the cord under my door. I waited a few moments to see if the grill was getting hot – it was. In that moment, sitting in the front entrance of my apartment, I reflected on how truly ghetto this was. It was one step above roasting wieners over a barrel fire in the back alley.

  While the grill was heating up, I went to the kitchen again to grab the wieners and fill up a mug with tap water. By the time I got back, the grill was hot so I sliced a wiener in half, the long way, and began grilling. I sat there on the floor, hovered over my grill, monitoring the progress. A few moments later, dinner was served.