Give Me Redemption (Give Me Series Book 4)
Page 19
My bones melt, and my soul ignites. My cock hardens, straining against my jeans. She tightens her thighs around my waist, and I press into her.
She moans, and it sounds like crying.
I reach up and run my hand over her breasts, and she rolls her hips.
Fuck, I want her.
I move from her lips and kiss her neck.
“House,” she says. “Let’s get to the house.”
I nod and let her loose. She slides down my body, and my eyes never look away from her face. Her lips are wet, her cheeks flushed. She’s fucking gorgeous.
“Why do you look at me like that?” she asks quietly.
I shake my head. “Come on.”
Chapter Forty
Harlow
Moments before
I shut my eyes as we ride through the field, holding on tightly to his waist. I get to hold him, and it’s pure heaven. He can’t see me; he can’t know how much I’ve wanted to do this. The breeze rushes across my face, like a steady moving stream brushing over a stone, carving this moment in my mind, because it’s one of the good ones.
It’s something I’ll remember when he no longer wants anything to do with me. I breathe him in. His T-shirt, soft cotton, his smell, manly and comforting. The way my thighs feel next to his. The vibration of the bike under my body.
These past few weeks have been a mind fuck.
I had my mind set. I would do what I needed to do and be done with this, because for us there is only one way out. I don’t get to choose here.
I’ve kept my distance as much as I can, considering I need to gain his trust fully, but I’ve purposely kept us in places surrounded by others, because the chemistry between us is heavy strong, and my restraint can only go so far.
But we’re alone now.
I’ve met his family, for God sakes. His brother, Bryce. Kat, Pops, and Emily. I even sat and chatted with his aunt Lou.
To say they were all shocked to meet me is an understatement. To say I like them all is also an understatement. Their love for this boy is as clear as the sky is blue. How has he missed it?
I see it when they look at him, when they talk about him. They all adore him.
Bryce and Jace are so different and yet, a lot alike.
Jace is funny, and Bryce is serious as hell and a little intimidating, but they have the same eyes and attitude. They know they’re handsome, and they’re cocky, but not in a way that makes your skin crawl.
Taking on this case is one of my biggest regrets, because in another life, I would have loved all of these people.
But I don’t get another life. I don’t get a do-over. These are the cards I got dealt, and eventually I’m going to have to show my hand.
And it doesn’t matter that it’s going to kill me. It doesn’t matter that I’m probably going to fade away into that black hole I’ve lived in my whole life.
Maybe that’s where I belong.
After all, I’m about to take down good people. Maybe I deserve the hell I’m about to go through.
So, fuck it all, right?
I’m going to live in the moment while I’ve got him. I’m done torturing myself.
Jace and I have talked about everything. I’ve shared as much as I can with him, and he’s an open book when it comes to me. We’ve already decided when we get home, we’re going to Red together. He’s going to show me the world he lives in, and I’m going to convince him to show me the basement.
He will.
And I’ll do what I’m supposed to.
I’ll gather my team and I’ll give them the signal when I’m inside, and that’s when I’ll sign my soul over to the devil.
And I’ll wait for the fallen angels to swoop me up and drag me down to eternal fire. I’ll drown in it, and it’ll be justified.
We climb off the bike, and I know my hair is all over my head, so I redo it, thinking how much I love riding that bike because I get to be close to him.
“That is seriously one of my favorite things to do now.” I smile and he smiles back.
“It is one of my favorite things,” he replies, seeming to approve that I love it.
He has no idea why I love it, though.
He lifts his backwards hat before placing it down again. He’s in jeans and a navy cotton T-shirt that matches his eyes.
Just looking at him causes a painful throb between my legs and has my skin tingling. I’ve wanted this man since recycled bags and first dates at Hudson’s.
The torture it’s been being around him and not being able to freely express that—it’s almost indescribable. Imagine walking in the desert for days and coming across a lake of beautiful clear water and never being able to dive in.
We walk out of the shop, me lagging behind a little, trying to take in every moment, and then I look out at the pasture and it takes my breath away.
We’re soaked in twilight, the sky a beautiful shade of soft blue-purple swirls. The horses graze, and fireflies glitter the fields. The mountains stand proud in the distance, proving that some things are bigger than us all.
It’s amazing.
I take in a deep breath, breathing in the air as the wind touches me. I look over at Jace with a smile, but the way he’s gazing at me has my breath catching.
My lungs choke, and my heart bleeds. I could cry.
He looks at me like I’m the view I was just taking in. Like I’m the only thing worth seeing out here. Chills run up and down my arms, and my spine tingles.
I’m drowning.
I need him.
He steps closer before sliding his hands into his pockets. The muscles in his forearms twitch, and the ache between my legs intensifies.
I fantasize that I am in another life. I trick my mind and try to shut out the things I’m going to have to do.
My eyes go from his to his lips, and I wonder if I’ll combust if he kisses me. Will everything around us disappear? Will I be able to stop?
I step closer, desperate to find out. I reach out and run my finger over his forearm.
“Don’t do this if you don’t mean it, Dalton,” he murmurs, looking restrained.
My eyes jump up to his. His jaw clenches, and the heartbeat in his neck pulsates against his skin. Skin that I want under my hands.
I hate myself.
I hate how much I want him and how much all of this is sucking the life out of me.
“I wish I didn’t want this,” I say. “I wish I could forget you.” And I can’t believe I said those words out loud. It’s the most honest I’ve been about my feelings since we’ve met.
“Why?” he asks in a rush, confusion laced with underlying hurt.
“It’d just be easier.” I’m full of confessions right now.
Tell him you love him.
Ask him if he still loves you.
“But life’s never been easy for me,” I say. “And I think about you without even meaning to.”
And I love you, Jace, and I want nothing more than to be with you. I want your tomorrows, your yesterdays. I want to be in every memory you’re going to make.
But I don’t say any of this out loud, because what’s the point? It won’t mean anything after tomorrow.
Without me taking another breath, he releases his hands from his pockets and grabs me.
Our lips crash and I bend into him. He lifts me up and my arms go around his neck, my tongue twisting with his, and I taste what it’s like to be free.
Free of this existence I’m trapped in. Free of this pain I feel inside of me every day.
Jace gives meaning to life.
His touch erases regret, and his kiss is red kryptonite, dragging the wild side out of me.
The roughness of the tree scratches my back, and when he touches my breast, I shiver. Heat pools between my thighs, and I grip his waist tighter. He pushes into me, and I wish our clothes didn’t exist. He kisses my neck, and I don’t think I can handle it anymore.
“House,” I say. “Let’s get to the house.”
 
; He nods and lets me loose. In the most delicious way, I slide down his body, and his eyes never look away from my face. He makes me feel so exposed, so impossibly important to him, and it cripples me.
“Why do you look at me like that?” I ask quietly.
He shakes his head, obviously not going to tell me. “Come on.”
Chapter Forty-One
Jace
Magic is what touching her feels like. I hold on to her hand as we walk around the pool and head to the guesthouse. Lightning flashes in the distance, wakening the dark sky, and the sound of thunder rolls above us.
Clouds drift across the moon, and I turn the handle to walk us inside. The door shuts behind us as a whirling wind kicks up. My eyes dart from the window to her, and as the bottom falls out, our eyes lock.
Does she still want to do this?
Can I handle it if she doesn’t?
I get my answer when she rushes to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me crazy.
Our hands can’t touch enough; our bodies can’t get close enough. I lift her and hurry to the bedroom. Kicking the door open, I walk us inside and lay her down onto the bed. Running my hands up her shirt, I slide my fingers over her ribcage. She lifts my shirt, and I reach behind my head and pull it off.
We clash teeth and bruise lips as the rain hammers on top of the tin roof and thunder booms, rattling the windows. Kissing has never felt so good, but I want more.
We breathe heavy, and she moans when I settle between her thighs. She reaches down and pulls her shirt up and over her head, tossing it onto the floor.
I push the cup of her bra down and sink my teeth into her breast, sucking and licking. Her nipples harden, and I feel her legs shake. She reaches for my belt, but I sit up and undo it myself as she gets to work on her own pants.
I stand and step out of mine as she lifts her hips and pulls hers down, kicking them off the bed.
She’s in nothing but panties and a bra.
I run my hand over my chin, looking down at her, nerves tingling, my body more alive than it has ever been.
Goddamn.
This girl has me caught up.
She's in my every day.
If I want her to be or not.
Her knees fall open slightly, and my eyes jump from her face to between her legs. I look back at her, and it’s only a tiny bit, but she smirks and I fucking die.
I smirk back and climb on top of her. She instantly leans up and grabs the back of my neck, bringing me to her lips. I grip the hem of her panties and she curves, allowing me to slide them down her legs. Breaking our kiss, I look as the fabric indents her thighs while I pull them off. I love her curves; they make me crazy.
Silk panties reach her feet and slides over her black painted toes. I toss them near my jeans. Looking down, I see everything, and she isn’t shy about it.
Dalton is a confident woman, sexy as hell, and smart. I love when she wears her glasses. I love when she talks about the fucking news and tells me about a book she’s been reading.
I love everything about her.
My hand has a mind of its own, and it ventures down, rubbing across her clit. She sucks in a breath of air, and her hands go to my shoulders. I slip a finger inside and slightly shake my head at how ready she is.
I bet she’d come so fast.
We’ve been waiting for this moment for an eternity. There’s been so much chemistry between us and so many raw moments where our eyes spoke when our bodies wouldn’t.
We never touch.
I never push.
She never lets it happen.
I dip another finger inside of her and look back at her face, the glow from the bedside table painting her in soft gold.
Her lips are open, her eyes are closed, and she grabs her breast. I move my fingers, and she bucks from the bed.
“Feel good?”
Her eyes open. “Yes,” she says. “God.”
And just because I can’t take it anymore, I pull my hand away and kiss her pouty lips. She kisses me back. Grabbing my nape, she lifts my hat up. I remove it and toss it onto the floor.
She twists and pushes my chest down as she climbs on top of me. Reaching behind her, she unhooks her bra and slides it down her arms before letting it fall.
My eyes rake over her body. She looks at me, chewing on her bottom lip and lifting her chin before she sits up on her knees.
She reaches for the waist of my briefs, and with my help, pulls them down. My cock springs free, and she lifts her brow.
I want to laugh, but I sink my teeth in my cheek. She scoots back up, bending down so her breasts are touching my chest.
She doesn’t shut her eyes as she slides down on top of me and I watch the many different emotions flash in them.
Lust, love, trust, uncertainty, and pure fucking pleasure.
I lift up, and she sucks in air. She moves her hips, and I lean so I can have her kiss, her breaths of pleasure, her moans, and her sighs.
And it’s everything I wanted it to be.
Everything.
Chapter Forty-Two
Harlow
Painfully beautiful is what this is. Jace is the heaven in my life, and I want nothing more than to shout to the world that he’s mine.
He is mine, though.
Right now, we completely own each other.
There’s no yesterday or tomorrow. There’s only now. I rock on top of him and breathe out to his heartbeat. My thighs stretch over his as I rest my hands down on his stomach.
To say Jace feels amazing would be the understatement of the century. This boy feels like dancing in the rain, playing in the waves, and taking that first sip of a good drink after a long fucking day.
He lifts up and hits me in the best way. I lean down and kiss his chest, running my hands over scars, wondering how they got there and who hurt him.
Will I be a scar?
The thought crushes me, and I shut my eyes, trying not to cry, because this feels too good, too right.
I don’t want to ruin it.
Shut it off, Harlow.
Just be.
He runs his hands over the curve of my ass and grips before rising and covering me with his body. The bed hits the wall when he thrusts, the covers wrinkling beneath us, and I reach up and grab ahold of a pillow as my thighs tingle, my calves tighten, and my toes curl. Pure hot bliss prickles my spine, and I clamp my eyes shut as I come.
“Jace,” I say on a wave of pleasure. God, how many times I’ve wanted to do that.
He keeps up his pace, and a tear slips from my eye. I don’t know if he sees it. I hope he doesn’t. My heart is crying because it knows this is the only time we’ll have this.
I grab his neck and pull him down to me, kissing his lips, trying to convey everything I feel through our touch. I want to say I love you. I want to tell him that everything that’s happening between us right now is the most honest thing I’ve ever done.
Loving him will never be a regret, but something I’ll always cherish. Maybe one day I’ll tell my daughter.
There was a man that I loved completely. I would urge her to find her true love and warn her to never give it up, because some of us don’t get the choice.
Jace moves his head to the crook of my neck and bites as he comes. I relish in the warmth of his body. I kiss his cheek, and, in my mind, I tell him that I’ll never forget this.
Not ever.
_______________
Later that night while Jace slept, I stayed up and watched the rise and fall of his chest and the way the sheets rested against his stomach. I slid out of bed and slipped on his T-shirt before creeping quietly outside.
The pavement around the pool was wet, the scent of rain floating in the air. Frogs croaked in the distance, and the clouds rolled gently away from the moon. I sat down on the covered swing and brought my knees up to my chest.
I hugged myself and there… I sobbed.
Chapter Forty-Three
Jace
“I want to show
you something,” I say to Dalton as we move on the dance floor. Dalton might not like night clubs, but she fits right in beside me. The lights color her beautiful face. Her eyes shine, and her smile is only for me. Finally, I had her.
Finally, she was kissing me, biting my earlobe, and making me crazy.
If she isn’t careful, I’ll fuck her here. Part of me doesn’t want to do that, though. I’ve had my share of women upstairs. I don’t want her up there.
“What?” she says.
“Come on.” I grab her hand and lead her toward the back of the club. The bodyguards, Mikey and Taylor, eye me before looking over at her skeptically.
“It’s fine,” I say.
“Jace,” someone says from behind me. I recognize Ben’s voice. I turn to look at him with Dalton by my side.
“She’s with me,” I tell him.
He looks unsure.
“Ben, it’s cool.”
I see his jaw clench, and he’s about to say something when Dalton says, “It’s fine. Whatever you’re going to show me, I don’t have to see it.”
“No,” I say. “Ben, we’re going back.”
I don’t wait for his answer, and honestly, these motherfuckers better chill. I wouldn’t jeopardize my brother. Dalton is my woman. I trust her.
I start walking, but she doesn’t. I turn to look back at her.
Her eyes are wide, her expression almost frightened. “You all right? Nothing bad is happening here,” I tell her.
She swallows but doesn’t look completely convinced.
What’s her deal?
“Come on, baby,” I say, tugging her hand. She gives me a small smile and takes a step toward me.
“Sorry,” she says.
“Don’t be sorry. I would never put you in any harm. You know that, right?”
She nods and snakes her arm around my waist, kissing my arm. She’s pretty in a green dress and more makeup than she’d normally wear.