Give Me Redemption (Give Me Series Book 4)

by Paige P. Horne

  “You going out this weekend?” she asks.

  “Don’t think so.”

  “What about therapy? How’s that been going for you?”

  I twist the knob on the door, not thinking about checking the peephole.

  “Mom. I’ll call you later,” I say, dropping the phone from my ear.

  In black jeans, light brown boots, and a black T-shirt, Jace looks like a dark angel. He has his hands in his pockets and a smoke behind his ear. My heart is in my throat, my palms sweaty against the doorknob. I bend my toes in the carpet as he looks at me.

  “Can I come in?” he asks.

  I move to the side and push the door shut after he steps in. Nerves float in my chest, swimming with doubt. I lean back against the door and cross my arms.

  He turns around to look at me. Blue eyes narrowing slightly, his teeth working on his inner cheek.

  We stand, neither of us saying anything for what seems like forever, and then he says, “I’ve decided.”

  “And?” I ask, scared of his answer.

  “I’ve tried to tell myself that we shouldn’t be together. You lied to me. You fucking tricked me and hurt me more than anyone ever has. I want to hate you.”

  I hold my breath, telling my lungs that breathing might make things worse.

  “The day I came to Hudson’s I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I could move past this, but I started thinking too much into it and I talked myself out of forgiving you.”

  I swallow and let air in.

  “And then you told me about your sister. You’re obsessed, you know that, right?”

  My eyes drop down to his boots. I know this about myself. I don’t need a shrink, my family, Davy, or Jace telling me that.

  “Yes,” I say, looking back up at him.

  “You need to get help. You need to talk to someone about this shit. All those photos you have, and the fact you’ve based your whole life around this case. It’s not healthy.”

  “What about the drugs, Jace? You going to stop doing those? You going to chill out on the partying?”

  “Yes,” he says.

  I feel the wrinkle of confusion form between my brow. “Why?” I ask.

  “Because I’ll have you. I won’t need any of that.”

  My mouth shuts, and I can’t help it when my vision blurs. I’ve cried more these past few months than I have my whole goddamn life.

  “You see, I’ve tried to convince myself that we’re wrong together, but I’ve failed. I can’t shake you, Dalton, and I don’t want to.”

  I push off the door and rush to him. His hands snake around my waist as mine do his neck, and I kiss him with meaning. Fire spreads throughout my body, setting my soul ablaze. Jace reaches down and lifts me. I pull away from his lips as he walks us into my room. “A few days ago, you asked me, ‘What do you know?’” I whisper against his lips.

  “Yeah?” he says.

  I lift my hand and remove his hat. “I know you, Jace Grant, and I love every single thing about you. Completely, unforgettably.”

  Pain mixes with need on his face. “I love you, too,” he says. I smirk just before he kisses me. We fall onto the bed. Clothes get removed, and skin gets kissed. The night covers us in its blackness as two souls scarred beyond repair become one.

  Do we fit together?

  Do we make sense?

  Probably not, but we make the rules.

  He’s mine and I’m his, and it doesn’t fucking matter how we got here.

  Jace’s hand goes around my throat as he slides inside of me. My nails dig into his back and he pushes forward. I lick his neck as he moans.

  He grabs hold of my thigh, lifting it so he can fuck me harder, and I close my eyes, relishing in every thick inch.

  I finish in a toe-curling orgasm, and he groans into my neck as he chases his own release.

  We lie on our backs, breathing heavy. I look over at him as he looks at me. He smirks and I smile.

  His eyes shine. His smile is like the sun––bright and beautiful, dangerous and showstopping.

  “Again?” I ask.

  “Again,” he says, climbing on top of me.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Jace

  I’m scrolling through social media when I come across Harrison’s page. She’s at the airport in fucking New Amsterdam. I quickly find Bryce’s number and hit call. I know he’s going to give me shit because I haven’t been answering his phone calls.

  I’ve been trying to figure everything out, and talking to Bryce wouldn’t help. I’d only feel guilty for even considering giving things a chance with Harlow. I still feel a little guilt, but after last night and waking up to her this morning, I know this is where I belong.

  “Hello?” Bryce says, sounding annoyed.

  “Hey, Jace,” Harrison says in a singsong voice.

  “Harrison, where the hell has my brother taken you? I saw you just landed in New Amsterdam on your page,” I say, running a hand over my bare chest. The fan on Dalton’s dresser hums in the back, and the TV she has plays the news.

  “Yep. I checked in at the airport,” she says, all matter-of-fact. She’s cute, like a little girl who just got a bucket of candy or some shit.

  “Sweet. You better smoke one for me,” I say.

  “Smoke one?”

  “Yeah. Get Bryce to take you to a coffeeshop.”

  “Coffeeshop as in a place to buy coffee?” she says, sounding confused.

  I laugh. “No. They’re smoke shops. Weed,” I say. “You can’t go there and not visit a coffeeshop.”

  “Have you been here before?” she asks me.

  “I’ve been a lot of places. Army, remember?”

  “Right.”

  “Enough of this shit, why haven’t you answered my phone calls?” Bryce asks.

  “Been busy,” I reply as Dalton walks into the room in just my T-shirt with coffee, her hair up and eyeglasses on. I put my finger over my lips for her to be quiet. I then tell my dick to chill out because, fuck, she looks hot.

  “Doing what?” Bryce asks.

  “Nothing you need to know about.”

  Dalton slides in the bed beside me, putting the coffee down on the side table after she takes a seat. She slips down in the covers and wraps her leg around mine as she runs her hand across my stomach.

  “Why the fuck not?” Bryce says.

  “Look, you don’t need to know everything I do. Y’all have fun. We’ll talk when you get home. Harrison, don’t let Darrell Downer ruin your time.”

  I hear Harrison snicker and Dalton does, too.

  “Yeah, fuck you,” Bryce says lightheartedly. I miss him. And I wonder how long I’m going to be able to keep this secret up. I hang up and put my phone down on the table. Dalton kisses my neck, and my cock has a mind of its own.

  I move on top of her. I got a shower and brushed my teeth earlier before crawling back in here with her. She had an unopened toothbrush.

  “I always buy two,” she says when I look at her questionably.

  I narrow my eyes.

  “Jace. No one has been here but you. I told you about me and relationships.”

  I remember what she said about her not having time for them that night on my balcony.

  Part of me wonders if she’s going to have time for me.

  I kiss her lips, tasting cinnamon on her tongue. “How did I get so lucky?” she murmurs, pulling back. “How did you forgive me after everything I’ve done?”

  I reach down and slide my hand under my shirt, grabbing her breast as she runs her fingers down my back. Her legs are spread, and her skin is warm.

  “I forgave you because I love you. Because I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.” I pull myself out and easily slide inside of her. She moans into my mouth as I rock.

  Morning sex.

  It’s everything I thought it would be with her.

  She’s everything.

  Her hand runs through my hair as she lifts her hips. I rest on my elbows, digging m
y feet into the bed, dying at how good she feels.

  “I love you,” she says.

  I know she does. I feel it through and through. She’s had a tough life, nothing like I thought before, but she hasn’t seen anything like me. I’m going to make sure she has a reason to smile every day.

  She leans up, wanting to be on top. She slides down on me and I shut my eyes, helping her move her hips. I open them back up and watch her face as she rides my cock.

  “Take the shirt off,” I say, wanting to see her tits. She lifts it and tosses it onto the floor. I run my hand over her chest and down her stomach. Her hair’s falling, her eyeglasses still on.

  And when she comes, I feel it.

  And I know, no matter what, I can’t ever lose this.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Jace

  I place my beer on the edge of the counter and hit it with my fist, popping the top off before handing it to Bryce.

  “No bottle opener?” he asks, taking a seat on my couch as I do the same with my own beer. It’s kind of odd having my brother here. I’m always at his place. This past week has been the best I’ve ever had. I want so bad to tell Bryce about it, but I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.

  I wave my hand. “Yeah, I got one somewhere.” I take a seat. “When did y’all get home?”

  “A few days ago,” he says, taking a sip of his beer.

  I nod, looking at the TV. “How was the trip?”

  “Good,” he says. “I asked K to marry me.”

  My eyes jump to his. “Come again?”

  He chuckles. “You heard me.”

  “I think I need to get my fucking ears checked.” My brother is getting married? I mean, I knew Harrison was different from all the other girls he used to spend time with. And by time, I mean fuck and nothing else.

  I knew he and Harrison were serious, but marriage? I’m really blown away by this.

  He shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he brings the beer back to his lips.

  “She say yeah?” I ask.

  “She did.”

  Wow. I’m going to have a sister.

  That’s pretty cool. I’m glad it’s Harrison. I rub my face, baffled by all of this. Is that why he took her there? I mean, duh, obviously it is. I wonder why he didn’t tell me he was going to pop the question? That hurts, but we have been a little distant lately.

  Still.

  “Damn. This is going to take some time to accept. I was just getting used to the fact you had a steady girlfriend,” I tell him.

  “We’ve been dating for a while,” he says, defending the fact he’s engaged. But I’m not saying he’s being hasty. I think this is great news.

  “Bryce, a week would have been a while for you. I’m not saying you’re rushing; I’m just saying… shit, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  “How about congratulations, brother? I’m fucking happy for you,” he suggests.

  I smirk. Leaning up, I hold my beer out for him to tap. “Congrats. I’m fucking happy for you.”

  He clinks his bottle with mine. “Thanks.”

  “Now Harrison, on the other hand.” I tsk-tsk. “She’s got a world of boredom headed her way.” I grin playfully.

  “Don’t start that shit,” he says. “Just because I’m not the fucking clown of the party doesn’t mean I’m boring. I did just take her to New Amsterdam and asked her to marry me in a field of red tulips. Which means perfect love, by the way,” he says matter-of-factly. He’s clearly proud of himself.

  He thought this one out and didn’t tell me a thing. Why does this bother me so much? I don’t know, because it’s my brother and it’s important.

  I feel left out, and I know I shouldn’t. I’m keeping something from him.

  “Damn. You did some research. I’m proud of you.” I laugh, but I don’t feel it on the inside.

  “Don’t make fun of me, asshole.”

  “Don’t be so uptight. You know I’m kidding.”

  He smirks. “Yeah, that’s your problem. You’re always kidding.”

  “You don’t joke enough, and I joke too much. Is that it?”

  He shrugs. “You joke enough for the both of us.”

  “Touché,” I say, taking a swig of my beer.

  The ballgame comes on and we grow quiet for a moment. Damn, my brother is getting married. I don’t know why, but this makes me feel... melancholy.

  Life is moving on. Bryce has changed so much since he met Harrison. He’s opened himself up and stopped letting our parents ruin everything.

  We’re slipping through time, and things are changing in big ways. I stand up and go for another beer.

  “Want one?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he replies.

  My phone vibrates on the coffee table, and knowing it has to be Dalton, I twist and snatch it up, noticing Bryce was trying to see who it was.

  “Something you don’t want me to see?” he asks suspiciously.

  “Nope,” I say, sliding the phone into my pocket as I head for the fridge. I forgot to tell her Bryce was coming over to chat. We’ve been pussyfooting around the point here, which is I messed up, and he’s going to remind me of that.

  I open the beers again against the counter, handing him his before I scratch the back of my neck, taking my seat. I taste my beer before resting it on my knee as I pick at the label.

  I hate this.

  I hate I can’t talk to my brother about Dalton. I love her, and I can’t share that with him because she did something that he might not ever forgive. What will I do if he doesn’t?

  Part of me wonders why he’s talking to me. I’m the one who let her in there. I made that choice, and it ruined everything for him.

  “Spit it out,” he says before he downs the rest of his beer, switching it out for the new one.

  My eyes jump to his before skipping over to the wall. I swallow before clearing my throat. “I’m sorry for what happened. I never should have let her in there. I fucked up.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  My eyes go back to him. “Way to kick me when I’m down.”

  “That’s not my intention.” He sits up and rests his forearms on his knees. “That club was my life, and your dumbass choices took it away from me. You know how hard I worked. You know I put everything I had into that place, and in a matter of minutes it was gone. All of it.”

  I sit up, too. “You think it would have lasted forever? You really think you never would have gotten caught?”

  I mean, come on. Yeah, I messed up, but he was running an illegal gambling operation. He would have eventually gotten busted.

  He doesn’t respond, and it’s because he knows I’m right.

  “Exactly,” I say. “If it wasn’t because of her, it would have been someone else.”

  “Yeah, but it was her and it was because of you. You always do this shit. You’re careless and you play around too much. You think that life is one big fun game. That’s why your ass got discharged from the Army. You fucked around and got caught selling cocaine. How could you be so stupid?”

  That sends fire throughout my veins, simmering any little bit of guilt I had for all the shit that went down.

  I think life is one big fun game? I know all too well that life isn’t a game. He hasn’t been through half the shit I have.

  “Oh, I just fuck everything up, don’t I?” I spit, my eyes burning into him.

  I can tell he feels bad, but fuck that. He knows what happened to me in the Army. He knows, and yet he says that shit to me?

  He rubs his chin and takes another drink. “You’re still seeing her, aren’t you?”

  “No.” The lie slips past my lips easily, and I don’t know why I even said it. I should tell him yes. I should tell him that I’m not going to stop, and he can kiss my ass if he has a problem with it.

  He smirks in disgust and shakes his head in disbelief. “You’re so goddamn disappointing.”

  I stand up quicker than the words came out of his mouth. “Disappointing?�
� I seethe. “No, what’s disappointing is when your brother tells you he’ll never leave, but what do you do the first chance you get? You fucking leave. You stayed drunk while you were there, just like him and then you abandoned me, just like her.”

  He wants to sit here and throw stones at me? I have plenty of those motherfuckers. He has no right to judge me. The man has been messed up his whole life. Not wanting to get too close to anyone because of our parents. Hiding away in his apartment and club every night because he was too afraid to feel. And the way he acted when we were kids?

  Yeah, fuck him and his stones.

  It’s past three in the morning when I hear the commotion downstairs. I move my covers off and open my bedroom door.

  Walking down the hall, I look down over the banister. Emily stands over Bryce as he throws up into the trash can at the bottom of the stairs. She rubs his back.

  “You have to stop this,” she says. “Your Pops isn’t going to put up with it, Bryson.”

  He leans back and laughs. “I don’t give a shit.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she throws back. “You boys are going to be the death of me. Do you know what I went through with Lee? He was a drunk in a dark place. I helped him come out of it, but he had to want to. You’re too young for this. You have everything going for you.”

  “Like what?” He spits into the trash. “I lost everything.”

  “Maybe you lost a lot, but you didn’t lose everything.”

  He leans his head against the wall. “Then why do I feel like I did?” My brother’s shoulders start to shake. I move back, heading to my room.

  He still has me, but he’s so focused on the people we no longer have. The person who gave us up. Why can’t he be happy?

  Bryce stands up, too. “I’m not your fucking parent. I was a kid, too!” he yells.

  “You were my older brother. You were all I had, and you left me alone.”

  “You act like Pops and Emily weren’t good to be left with.”

  “That’s not the point.” I jab my finger at him. “You were my family.”

  He sat down at the bottom of those steps and said he lost everything.

  He still had a brother.

  I’m the one who lost everything.