by Jae
“Um, the couch is too small for the two of us.”
Lauren blinked up at her, clearly not understanding a word Grace said. A smooth seductress Lauren was not.
Grace grinned and finally got Lauren to stretch out on the couch. Gently, she removed Lauren’s glasses, folded them, and placed them within easy reach on the coffee table.
When she turned back around, Lauren’s eyes were now fully closed. Grace hesitated, but with Lauren sleeping she had the courage to give in to the impulse to bend down and kiss her forehead, lingering against the warm, smooth skin for a moment before straightening.
“Good night,” she whispered, even though she knew Lauren couldn’t hear her. She stood in the near darkness for several more moments, looking down at her, before she finally made her way back to the bedroom and slipped into Lauren’s bed. This time, she fell asleep within seconds.
CHAPTER 28
An incessant ringing woke Grace from a dream in which she was snuggling with Lauren in a space capsule, both of them wearing only tank tops and boy-cut panties. At first, she thought it was an alarm warning them of space debris, but then the haze of sleep retreated and she realized that it was her cell phone.
Groaning, she reached out a hand from under the covers and placed the phone against her ear. “Yes?” she croaked, her voice rough from sleep.
“Uh, this is Jill. Sorry to call you so early on a Saturday. Did I wake you?”
“Yeah. But it’s okay.” Yawning, Grace sat up against the headboard and pulled the covers up over one shoulder. “Is there a special reason why you’re calling me”—she glanced at Lauren’s alarm clock—“at eight thirty on the weekend?”
“The people who’re putting together the celebrity waiter dinner would like to get some input from Lauren. Did you talk to her yesterday?”
“I did, but I forgot to ask her about the dinner.” As soon as she’d entered Lauren’s apartment, the benefit dinner had been the last thing on her mind.
“Did the two of you at least kiss and make up?”
“Uh… No. I mean, yes. I mean…yes, we made up, but we didn’t…” Grace snapped her mouth shut.
A soft knock sounded at the door to the living area before it was opened. Lauren padded in, still not looking fully awake. “Good morning. Are you talking to me?”
Grace pressed her palm over the phone’s speaker. She shook her head and whispered, “I’m on the phone with Jill.”
Lauren’s eyes widened. She mouthed, “Sorry,” tiptoed back out, and softly closed the door between them.
When Grace returned her attention to the phone, Jill was eerily quiet on the other end of the line. Then a salvo of questions was fired through the phone. “What the hell is going on? Was that Lauren? What is she doing at the cottage this early on a Saturday? Did she…stay over?”
“No.”
“Come on, Grace. I’m not stupid. If you’re not ready to talk about it, just say so, but don’t lie to me, okay? I’m supposed to be your best friend. I deserve better than that.”
Grace squeezed her eyes shut. “You’re right. You do. But I didn’t lie to you. Lauren didn’t stay over. I’m not at the cottage. I slept with her last night. I mean…stayed with her. Jesus.” She sounded like a stuttering teenager.
“You…?”
“She slept on the couch,” Grace quickly added. “She didn’t want me to drive up to the cottage in the dark.”
“Ah. So there’s nothing going on?”
It was tempting to just agree and avoid this conversation for a little longer. But it wasn’t fair—not to Jill and not to Lauren either. She pulled the covers more tightly around herself and whispered, “I kissed her.”
For several seconds, silence was her only answer; then Jill let out a piercing wolf whistle. “Woohoo! You go, girl!” Finally, she sobered and asked quietly, “Does that mean you want something more than friendship with her?”
Grace grabbed two handfuls of her hair and moaned helplessly. “I don’t know. I’m trying not to think about it. I’m trying not to think, period. This is scary as hell. I mean, I’m not gay. At least I never thought I was. And now…”
“Now?” Jill prompted.
“Now I met this person who makes me laugh, who gets me, who supports and encourages me, who sees me—the real me, not just the Hollywood persona…and it’s a woman.”
“Does that really matter so much?” Jill asked.
Did it? “Maybe it wouldn’t if it were just her and me, but… God, can you imagine what my mother would say? Or Nick? And I don’t even want to think about what the media would write…”
“You know, if having MS taught me one thing, it’s living my life to the fullest, not caring too much about what other people might think.”
Grace knew Jill was right; she knew it, but she couldn’t help how she felt. “But I care, Jill. I can’t help it.”
“What about Lauren?” Jill asked. “I take it I was right and she really thinks you’re hotter than a walk through the Sahara in a turtleneck?”
Her friend’s colorful choice of words made Grace smile despite her tension. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but…yeah. She wants to see where this is going.”
“And you?”
“I’m scared,” Grace whispered. “But I think I’d end up regretting it more if I let this slip through my fingers without even trying. She’s…special.”
“I’m there for you, okay? If you need a hug, a kick in the butt, or lesbian sex tips, let me know.”
Heat flared through Grace. “Jill!”
“Just saying,” Jill said, the grin obvious in her voice. “I might be celibate right now, but I’m still highly qualified to give the talk about the bees and the bees…or would that be the birds and the birds?”
Grace had to laugh. Talking to Jill, with her fun, no-nonsense approach to life, always made her feel better. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now let me talk to your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my—” Grace bit her lip. Is she? The thought made her head spin. Without another word, she padded out into the living room.
Lauren sat on the couch, looking as if she’d been waiting for Grace’s phone call to end.
Grace held out the phone. “Jill wants to talk to you.” The alarmed expression on Lauren’s face made her laugh. She patted Lauren’s bare arm and retreated into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed.
Lauren gripped the phone with clammy fingers. She tried to tell herself she had nothing to be afraid of. Grace probably wasn’t ready to tell anyone about them, not even Jill. Not that there was much to tell. Oh, yeah? You’re about to risk your career and everything you’ve worked for—for a woman who might or might not be straight. Even though they hadn’t slept together or even really kissed, if Lauren was honest with herself, she knew that she was already in, heart, body, and soul.
“Hi, Jill,” she said, trying to sound casual.
“Morning, Lauren. So, you and Grace, huh?”
If Lauren were a cartoon character, her eyes would have popped out of her head. “Uh…she told you?”
“More or less. It wasn’t hard to guess with the way the two of you have been interacting lately. When you fell asleep on the plane and used her as a pillow, she looked at you with a tenderness I’ve never seen when she looked at Nick or anyone else.”
Warmth spread through Lauren’s chest. She loved knowing that she was special to Grace, but at the same time, it made her worry. “Do you think others noticed it too?”
“Amanda, maybe. And it won’t be long before Katherine figures it out.”
“Do you really think so?” So far, Lauren had thought that Mrs. Duvenbeck was so homophobic that she would deny and ignore any hints that her daughter might not be totally straight.
“Oh, yeah. Don’t underestimate her,” Jill said. “Part of her probably already suspects that Grace isn’t so defensive of you just because you’re the world’s best publicist. Why do you think she keeps pushing Grace to date men? It’s not just about the media.”
Oh, shit. If her mother forced Grace to make a choice, Lauren wasn’t sure Grace would choose her over the approval of her mother. She sighed. “Is this the part where you tell me you’ll kick my ass if I hurt her?”
“No,” Jill said. “This is the part where I tell you to make her happy.”
How ironic. All her life, Lauren had tried to stay away from actresses because she thought they were shallow, incapable of selfless love and loyal friendship—and now it turned out that she’d been the one harboring shallow prejudices. “I’ll try my best.”
When she didn’t hear Lauren talking anymore, Grace peeked into the living room.
Lauren sat on the couch, the phone hanging limply from her hand.
Grace walked over and sat next to her. “Sorry if I ambushed you with that phone call.”
“I admit I liked your first ambush better, but it’s okay,” Lauren said with a small grin.
“I hope Jill didn’t say anything to scare you off.”
Lauren shook her head. “I don’t scare easily.”
“Good.” It had occurred to Grace that Lauren had just as much at risk as she did. Her reputation and her career were on the line too. For the first time, she realized that it could be Lauren, not she, who would want to back out and go back to being friends. The thought made her insides clench. Give her some credit. Lauren isn’t the type to give up on something just because things are getting tough. For now, you’re just friends anyway. Don’t make yourself crazy over things that didn’t happen yet.
The loud growling of her stomach interrupted her brooding.
Lauren laughed. “I was just about to ask if you’re hungry. It seems safe to assume that you are.”
Grace rubbed her belly. She hadn’t eaten much the last few days.
“How about I make you breakfast? It’s the least I can do after I fell asleep on you last night.”
“Are you going to corrupt me again with some of your unhealthy food?” Grace asked.
“If I’m going to corrupt you, it won’t be with food.”
Lauren’s husky drawl made goose bumps erupt all over Grace’s skin. She shivered in the most pleasant of ways.
“Come on. You can help me in the kitchen and make sure I don’t go overboard.” Lauren got up and held out her hand.
Grace took it, enjoying the way Lauren’s long fingers felt wrapped around her own. Even Grace’s goose bumps now had goose bumps. Okay, that answered that question. She had wondered how it would feel to have Lauren touch her, even in such a small way, now that she’d admitted her attraction.
Neither of them let go as they walked over to the kitchen.
Lauren opened the fridge, and they both peered in.
“I have eggs,” Lauren said. “How about French toast?”
“I won’t even dignify that with an answer.” Grace pointed at a bowl of strawberries and two bananas. “How about a fruit salad with some yogurt?”
Lauren let out a suffering sigh. “Oh, the sacrifices we make for love.”
Grace froze, but Lauren didn’t seem to realize what she’d just said. Oh, for Christ’s sake. It’s just an expression. She didn’t mean it like that.
While Lauren washed the fruit, she said over her shoulder, “Jill told me about the benefit dinner.”
At least she hadn’t offered to have the birds-and-the-birds talk with her too. “What do you think?”
“It sounds like a good idea. I’ll put together a promotion package later.”
“Today?” Grace wagged her finger at her. “It’s the weekend.”
Lauren turned and leaned against the kitchen counter. A smile played around her lips. “Well, I might be convinced not to work today…if you can provide a better way to keep me busy.”
Suddenly, every word seemed to be full of innuendo and hidden meanings to Grace’s overactive brain. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.” She turned away and searched Lauren’s kitchen drawers for a cutting board.
“Want me to cut the fruit?” Lauren asked.
“No, thanks. I think I can manage.” Admittedly, it was a bit awkward since she tried not to use the fingers of her broken arm too much.
“How about I at least lend you a hand?” Lauren said. “I mean, since you only have one good one…”
“Uh, yeah, why not.”
Lauren stepped closer and reached around her. One of her arms brushed Grace’s.
Heat suffused Grace. She flashed back to her birthday party, when Lauren had pressed close to show her how to play pinball. She remembered feeling overly hot then too. Had this…this pull between them existed even back then? Had her body known long before her head had gotten the message?
“Uh, Grace?”
Lauren’s breath moved the hairs on the back of her head, making her body temperature rise even more.
“Yeah?”
“Slicing the fruit only works if you actually use the knife.”
Grace bumped her with her behind, shoving her back a little. “Smart-ass.”
Chuckling, Lauren moved closer again and held one end of the strawberry so Grace could chop it.
Preparing breakfast this way wasn’t the most effective. With Lauren this close, Grace’s hands weren’t exactly steady, and Lauren kept reaching around her to steal a piece of fruit.
But finally, they had a pile of cut fruit and retreated to the table to eat.
When the last piece of fruit was gone, they worked together to do the dishes and clean the kitchen.
Finally, Lauren dried her hands on a dishtowel and leaned against the kitchen counter, regarding Grace. “I know you probably have things to do, people to see, mothers to appease, but…do you think you can stay a little longer?”
Grace wasn’t yet ready to give up her company either, so she nodded. “George sent me two new scripts he wants me to read. If you could print them out for me, I could do that here. Or…” She hesitated. “I’d love to see the revisions you made to your script.”
“I haven’t made that many changes yet. I kind of had other things on my mind.” A tinge of red colored her cheeks, and she turned away to wipe down the kitchen counter. “But if you want to see what I have so far…”
“I would love to.” Grace could tell how much trust it took for Lauren to let her see her work, and she valued it.
“Okay. Just don’t expect too much.” Lauren printed out the pages for Grace, and they settled on the couch, with Lauren checking her e-mail and Grace reading.
Every now and then, their feet, which lay on the coffee table, brushed. Whenever Grace looked up, she found Lauren’s gaze on her. Finally, Grace finished the last page of the revisions.
“And? What do you think?” Lauren looked like a puppy that didn’t know if its owner was about to hand out praise or punishment.
“I have just one question for you.”
Lauren licked her lips and nodded, signaling for Grace to go ahead and ask.
“Why the heck aren’t you doing this for a living? It’s great!”
“Yeah? Really? You think it works better now?”
Grace nodded. “It works like a charm. The emotions between them are so…real.” It made her wonder if Lauren had based that part of the script on her own feelings for her.
Lauren beamed. “Thanks. It’s great to hear that. It was all there in my head, but I wasn’t sure if I managed to put it on the page.”
“You did. Now you just need a title.”
“I was thinking of Shaken to the Core,” Lauren said. “Is that too co
rny?”
“No. It fits.” Not just the script. It fit how Grace felt too.
With a happy grin, Lauren returned to her e-mail and Grace started reading one of the scripts that George had sent her. Every now and then, she paused and looked at Lauren, watching her long fingers fly over the keyboard.
Lauren seemed to sense her gaze. She lifted her head and smiled. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“This isn’t exactly an exciting Saturday, is it? Watching me answer e-mails…”
“No, that’s not it.” God, this was embarrassing. “It’s just… This feels so…normal.”
“You didn’t expect it to be? Grace, just because I’m a woman…we’re both women doesn’t mean that this”—Lauren pointed back and forth between them—“is abnormal in any way.”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. Sitting here with you, spending some quiet time together… I never had this with Nick or anyone else. One of us was always running out for a location shoot, a lunch meeting, or some promo event.”
Lauren closed the laptop to give Grace her full attention. “I’m not going to lie to you. It’ll probably be like that a lot of the time with me too…when…I mean, if…”
Grace wanted to reassure her but knew she couldn’t. Not yet. For now, she would just try to focus on enjoying Lauren’s company.
They spent the day in Lauren’s apartment, not venturing outside. In here, just with Lauren, she could relax and be herself, while outside, the media and the expectations of the world were waiting. Grace wasn’t eager to face them, but as the afternoon progressed, she knew she had to go. By now, her mother was probably wondering where she’d been all day. “I should go,” she said and got up from the couch. “Otherwise, it’ll get dark and I’d have to stay here for another night.”
Lauren looked over with an almost shy smile. It was endearing to see the usually confident publicist so timid. “Well, I wouldn’t mind. You’re welcome here any time.”