Worth The Fight

by Rachael Brownell

  "My zipper is caught on something, and I need you to fix it or else we're going to be late."

  Turning so he can see the issue, I try to push past the indecisive feelings that are beginning to creep in.

  I don't want to go to this party. Everyone I know in one room, celebrating the happy couple. Been there, done that. Last time, I was the one hosting the party. I was part of the happy couple.

  But I'm not a bitch like Kendra. I'll go. I'll smile. I'll fake it for as long as I can, and then I'll come home and wallow in my misery alone.

  Liam tugs at the zipper and frees it, pulling it down first and then all the way up to the base of my spine.

  "What was the problem?" I ask, flattening my hands against the tight fit of my bodice.

  "Um, your thong was stuck in the way."

  Looking over my shoulder, I find Liam's cheeks are slightly heated, and I resist the urge to laugh. Liam has seen me practically naked before. As recently as when he helped me out of my wedding dress a couple weeks ago. Why seeing my thong would have any effect on him, I have no idea, but it's adorable.

  "Are you gonna get changed?" I ask, spinning to face him.

  He assesses me, his eyes traveling from the dip in the front of my dress to the tips of my heels before he speaks.

  "Yeah. Give me five minutes."

  He's gone before I can press him about his odd behavior. He's been acting weird for over a week now. Tiptoeing around me all day long. Popping in my room to make sure I'm okay when he should be working.

  Hell, he hasn't even gone on a date since I moved in. Not that I'm all that disappointed about it because the last thing I want to hear is him giving it to some chick in the room next door. I can't imagine the walls are soundproof.

  When I asked him if he was bringing a date tonight, he chuckled but nodded. A twinge of disappointment speared my heart. I may be willing to face my friends tonight and fake happiness for a few hours, but I wasn't ready to do it alone. Leaning on Liam was my game plan for tonight.

  Thankfully, it still is. I'm his date for the party. It's like he knew I would need him to help me through this.

  Unfortunately it feels like I need him to get through everything right now. I'm leaning on him at every turn, and even though I want to stand on my own two feet, I keep falling down the rabbit hole and Liam is there to catch me before I hit the ground.

  Five minutes turns into twenty. When Liam finally emerges from his room, I'm surprised to find him wearing the same suit jacket he was earlier but a different shirt. One that matched the silver of my dress.

  "Snazzy," I remark, pinching the material of his shirt for emphasis.

  "Thanks."

  "I didn't even know you owned anything but white or black dress shirts."

  Even though he works from home, Liam keeps a strict dress code. If he's working in conjunction with an agency or the police, he wears a black suit with either a black or white shirt. If he's undercover or following someone, you'll find him in a hooded black sweatshirt and dark jeans.

  I've never seen him change it up.

  Hell, he was in a black suit and white dress shirt when he rescued me outside the chapel and the invitation said to dress casual. Don't get me wrong, he looks great in a suit. He fills them out perfectly, giving off an air or professionalism but also a sexy vibe that says, "I make the suit look good, it doesn't make me look good," if you know what I mean.

  "My parents bought me this for Christmas a few years ago, so it took me a minute to find it in the back of my closet."

  "And you decided to wear it because . . ." I let my voice trail off. There has to be a good reason behind why he wanted us to match tonight.

  "Well, you look like that," he begins motioning up and down my body, so I twirl around and throw my arms out, a huge grin on my face.

  "I look good," I state firmly.

  "Yes, and that's part of the problem. There are going to be horny, single guys all over the place tonight."

  Is he really afraid someone is going to hit on me? That's ridiculous. Most of the people going to this thing tonight know me. They know Garrett. Hell, they probably think we got married already.

  They're not going to be trying to pick me up, and even if they were that bold, I'm not interested. I'm not ready to date yet. It'll be a while before I'm willing to put myself out there again.

  "I can handle myself. Plus, you wearing a silver shirt is not going to stop stupid idiots from hitting on me."

  "It might stop them if they get the impression you've already moved on."

  My jaw drops open when I realize what he's insinuating. He wants people to think we're dating so they stay away from me. And the subtle way he planned to do it was to wear a shirt that perfectly matched my dress. So we look like a couple.

  "Liam, I love you, but you can't do that. I may not be ready to jump into another relationship right now, but you can't act like a brick wall between me and everyone else. I know you care, and I appreciate the sentiment, but I can decide for myself if I want to talk to someone. I don't need you to scare people away for me."

  The look on his face tells me he's not impressed with my response. We stare at each other for a few minutes before he finally looks away.

  "Let's get this over with."

  He offers me his arm. I accept his gesture, taking my purse in my free hand. I love and appreciate that his heart is in the right place, but I'm going to have to learn to deal with this eventually. People are going to ask questions. They'll ask me where Garrett is. What happened between us. If I'm okay. If they can do anything to help.

  What they're not going to do is ask me out. I don't know who he thinks is going to go that far, but they'd have to be ballsy as hell to think I'd want to start dating already.

  Garrett and I didn't just break up.

  We were engaged. An hour from being married.

  We had committed to spending the rest of our lives together.

  Or rather, I had committed to that. He was more of a hit it and quit it kind of guy, I guess.

  Still, after spending more than a year together in high school and two more together after college, no one is going to think I'm ready to date yet. No one is going to ask me out tonight, no matter what Liam thinks.

  Dating is not going to be like riding a bike for me.

  I had two boyfriends before Garrett and I met. Neither were serious. I had three after we broke up, and two of them were just a convenience thing. No feelings. No commitment.

  Maybe that's what I need. A relationship where no one expects anything so there's no chance anyone gets hurt. It'd be all about fulfilling a need for the other person and then sending them packing once you were satisfied.

  Like what Liam has going.

  He might keep them for a few weeks, but once he's over it or they become clingy, he moves on, and he's very upfront with them about the type of “relationship” they have.

  It could work if I could find the right person to agree to it.

  Chapter Five

  Sasha must have spotted me the second Liam and I walked in the room because before my nerves even have a chance to settle in at the number of people in attendance, she’s wrapping her arms around me tightly. Liam releases me and walks past us. I was under the impression that it would be a small gathering of close friends and family, similar to what they have planned for the wedding.

  I was wrong.

  At least fifty people are here already. Some of whom I don't recognize. Fifteen to twenty tables. It resembles a wedding reception in here more than a bachelorette party. Did I read the invitation wrong?

  "Cass! I'm so glad you came." Her voice is filled with sorrow and despair. I can hear how hard she's trying to hold back her tears, and it makes me want to break down and cry in her arms.

  I clear my throat, swallow the growing lump. "I wouldn't miss this."

  Releasing me and then holding me at arm’s length, she tilts her head and assesses my weak smile.

  "If you had, we would have und
erstood."

  "Even if I was given the choice, I would have come."

  "Liam?"

  "Yep."

  "That man, I swear," she says, shaking her head.

  Looking past Sasha, my eyes connect with Liam's. He's smiling at me, and so are his eyes. It's a devious smile. One that tells me he would gladly take the blame for me being here if that's the way it has to be.

  Shifting my attention, I find Kevin standing next to him, glaring at the door we just walked through. His stare is murderous, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I don't have to turn around to know who just walked in. Apparently, he didn't get the memo he was uninvited.

  Liam breezes past me, followed closely by Kevin. Sasha's arms have gone slack, but she hasn't let go of my shoulders.

  "Don't turn around," she states, her voice filled with panic.

  "Liam said Garrett and Kendra were asked not to come."

  "They were. It appears that didn't stop them from making an appearance."

  They're both here. Probably together. I'm guessing arm in arm.

  "I need a drink."

  Keeping my eyes focused on the bar across the room, I remove Sasha's arms and walk as casually as possible toward my destination. It takes everything I have not to run. To the bar. Out the emergency exit, the red sign above the door calling to me. To run anywhere but here.

  I know Liam will take care of the situation. As long as I don't look back, I won't have to see either of them. I won't have to relive the memory of walking in on them together. Of Kendra riding him or the look of pleasure on his face as she rocked back and forth.

  So why does my heart want me to see them together? Why is there an urge inside me to turn and stand my ground? To make eye contact with Kendra and flip her off? To call her a slut to her face?

  None of those things will change what happened. Calling her a slut won't make me feel better. It won't lessen the pain they've caused.

  All it will do is bring me a split second of satisfaction that will fade just as quickly.

  They're not worth it.

  They deserve each other.

  By the time I reach the bar, I can feel the beginning of a panic attack coming on. That's the last thing I need right now. Another embarrassing scene in front of all my friends.

  "What can I get for you?" the bartender asks as I dig through my purse for my license.

  "Spiced rum and coke."

  The words slip past my lips before I even realize what I'm ordering.

  "You know what," I holler as he walks away, "make it two."

  He nods and continues to the other end of the bar, then fill two glasses with ice. My attention is focused on the glasses and he fills them with amber liquid.

  "Are those both for me?" Liam asks from behind me as the bartender sets the glasses on the counter in front of me.

  I put a five-dollar bill in the tip jar. "They were both for me, but I guess you can have one if you want."

  Liam takes a drink from my hand. "I didn't realize you were planning on drinking tonight.”

  "It's only one drink." I take a sip from the tiny red straw. The rum burns on the way down, warming the chill inside me.

  Liam bends his straws and places the glass to his lips, then tosses back half of his drink.

  Placing his hand on the small of my back, Liam leads me back to our table where Sasha and Kevin are waiting. Both are staring at me in awe, their gazes flicking between my glass and my face.

  "Why don't we dance," Sasha suggests.

  The DJ has been playing upbeat music since we walked in, the dance floor full of a mix of people from young kids to Kevin's parents and grandparents. Everyone is moving to the beat, smiling and laughing.

  Taking my glass and setting it on the table, Sasha pulls me onto the dance floor, the guys following behind us. After five minutes, I'm sweating and breathing heavily, and the events of earlier are already behind me.

  Then the music changes, the DJ announcing it's time to slow things down for the happy couple.

  Kevin twirls Sasha into his arms, and off they go. Other couples join them on the dance floor, and they move and sway to the sickly sweet love song blaring through the speakers.

  "Dance with me?" Liam extends his hand for me to take it.

  I hesitate. "I don't know."

  "It's just a dance, Cass. We've done it a million times before."

  Not waiting for me to answer, Liam takes my hand and pulls me close to his body. Unprepared for the move, I bump into his chest, my forehead connecting with his chin.

  "Oof!"

  "It's going to take more than that to knock me out," he jokes as I attempt to step out of his embrace.

  "Liam—"

  "Cassidy, you can do this. Plus, if you don't dance with me, there's a line of guys patiently waiting for the opportunity. You can't tell them all no, can you? Someone will break through the walls you're putting up, and I'd rather that be me."

  He's impossible.

  First, I'm not putting up walls.

  Well, maybe that's not entirely true, but I'm not building a fortress around my heart. I'm just protecting it from being trampled on again.

  Secondly, the walls aren't up with him. I trust him completely.

  Which is probably why we're swaying with the rest of the crowd right now. Because I can't seem to tell him no even when I want to.

  Third . . .

  Damn it. I don't even know. He has me so flustered right now I don't even realize I'm resting my head against his chest. That my body has completely relaxed and I'm letting him guide me.

  We've always danced like this. Since the second grade when we had our first school function and someone put on music. We were pretending to dance like adults. The only people I had ever seen dance back then were my parents, and my mother used to rest her head on my father’s chest. So that's what I did, and it's been our thing ever since.

  Only, back then, Liam wasn't as tall as he is now.

  Needless to say, I don't need to bend funny anymore and stick my butt out just so I can rest my head where I always thought it needed to be.

  "You're finally relaxing," he whispers as the music fades and another slow song begins.

  "Thank you."

  If it were anyone but Liam, I'd have to explain why I was thanking them. He just knows. I may not have wanted to dance, but I needed it. He pulled me out of my head and into my comfort zone.

  "Always. Now, when this song ends, we're going to head back to the table, I'm going to finish both of our drinks, and then we're going to get some food."

  "You do realize I can handle one drink, right?"

  Sure, I may have been relying on alcohol to numb the pain recently, but that doesn't mean I'm not in control of my drinking. It may cause him to worry a little, and for the rest of my friends to raise a brow, but they don't get to decide how I cope with this.

  It was my life that was destroyed.

  If I want a drink every now and then, I'm going to have a drink.

  No one can fix this but me. They can try, and I know Liam is, but it's not going to change anything. Until I'm ready to completely accept what happened and move on, this is my problem, and I plan to deal with it however I see fit.

  "You can handle anything you put your mind to, Cass. I've never doubted you a day in my life. However, I was there when you vowed never to drink again. I was the shoulder you cried on for two weeks after. Drinking isn't going to help you get over this, and you know it. All it's going to do is bring up bad memories. It's going to break your heart all over again, and I don't want to see you go through that. It almost killed me the first time."

  His words hurt. The truth always does.

  There are worse things in life than walking in on your fiancé with another woman. This I can recover from. In time. If I lose another person to alcohol, though . . . that I may not survive.

  Letting the conversation fade away, I close my eyes and focus on what I want out of life. On where I want to go and the t
hings I want to do. I'm free. I can do whatever I want until fall rolls around and school resumes. Then I'll be tethered to my classroom for nine months.

  Two months. There's so much I can do. So many places I can go. Places I've wanted to see for years. Paris. New York City. Hawaii. All I have to do is pick one and off I can go.

  The travel agent finally refunded the tickets I bought for our honeymoon. Ten days at a resort in the Bahamas cost a lot. I'm glad I paid for travel insurance or else I would have been out that money.

  "Where's your mind at right now?" Liam asks, interrupting happy thought of beaches and warm sand between my toes.

  "I'm thinking I want to go on vacation."

  "Where?"

  "I don't know."

  "Can I come with you?"

  "You know it's a pity vacation, right? I mean, I plan to have fun but—"

  "Oh, we'll have fun. I guarantee it. Plus, with me around, you won't be able to sulk."

  "What if I wanted to sulk?"

  "Not allowed."

  "It's my vacation. If you're not going to let me sulk, maybe I don't want you to come with me."

  "Too bad. I've already invited myself."

  When Liam begins laughing at our banter, causing my head to bounce against his chest, I join him.

  "You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

  "And you wouldn't have it any other way," he states as he stops swaying and I pull out of his embrace. "Now, let's get you fed and we can talk about this magical vacation we're going on."

  Rolling my eyes, I lead the way back to our table. There's a small crowd around it, and when I hear the deep boom of his voice, I realize why.

  Aaron's here and already cracking jokes. It's good to know some things never change.

  "Cassidy! How's the only smart blonde I know?" he asks, standing and moving through the crowd to pull me in for a hug.

  "You really need to get your eyesight checked, teddy bear. I haven't been blond since I was twelve."

  Growing up, I was the only light-haired member of our little gang. As my body started to change, my hair darkened to a rich brown like my mother’s. It wasn't until then that I actually looked like I belonged to my parents. Liam used to joke I was the mailman's kid. That got him punched in the jaw a few times.