As much as she hated to admit it, Lance was right. She wouldn’t be as much help as she’d like to think, especially with her arm. “I’ll make some calls,” she said.
She led the boys into the house then pulled out her cell phone. Ricky immediately offered to send some of his hands over. It was a nice offer and she was grateful. But she also felt sick. If she’d been doing the feeding instead of Lance, maybe the tarp would have been better secured. Not that she blamed him. He was new at this whole animal care thing, and the fact that he’d even been helping her in the first place was a wonderful gift.
Maybe Lance was right about her being irresponsible. That’s what he used to say about her after Lily died. When she’d been in the hospital after her accident, she’d seen that same look on his face. Even though he wouldn’t have blamed her for the tarp blowing off, she should have done a better job of teaching him about it. Or maybe she should have asked Ricky or some of her friends from church to help with the animals, since Lance was so inexperienced.
But just as she started going down that road, she stopped herself. It was dangerous to play the what-if game. That was one of the things that had come between her and Lance with Lily’s death.
Instead she busied herself making cookies. Since Lance and the boys had baked some earlier, the boys were familiar with what they needed to do to help her. It would be a nice treat for Lance and the men when they were done and she’d send a plate back with the guys for Ricky.
It felt good to be useful in some way. As she and the boys mixed the batter for some simple chocolate-chip cookies, the uneasiness she felt over the tarp situation disappeared. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t Lance’s fault. Sometimes these things happened and that was just how life went.
By the time she got the cookies on the cookie sheet, she saw the headlights from the truck Ricky had sent over. Once again, she felt grateful for being part of such a wonderful community. As she prayed, thanking God for bringing these people into her life, she also prayed for Lance. He had Chad, but it wasn’t the same as having a supportive community around him. She’d always known that he and his family weren’t close, but after having talked with him during his stay, she realized just how distant they were and how deeply hurt he was by them.
Had she been wrong for giving up on him so easily? Their counselor had told her that it wasn’t her job to fix him, but at times like these, she wondered if she’d done enough.
“We’re going to go work on our present for Uncle Lance,” Dylan said when they put the cookies in the oven.
“Okay, but don’t make a mess.” Erin smiled at her nephews, who raced off before she could even finish her sentence.
She had no idea what their present to him was, but they’d been hiding in Dylan’s room to make it. They’d told her it was a surprise and since they didn’t appear to be doing anything dangerous, she was respecting their privacy.
That got her thinking about what she would give Lance for Christmas. He’d be leaving before then, but after all he’d done for her, she wanted to do something nice for him. After their conversation at the nursing home, she could finally understand why they’d had such a disconnect over the holiday gifts they’d given one another when they were married.
As she walked into the family room, she spied Lily bear on the ground. Ryan would be hunting for it later, so she set the bear on the couch. Maybe something of Lily’s, since Lance seemed to be surprised at the things she’d kept.
Erin went into her bedroom and opened the old trunk where she kept all of Lily’s things. Sometimes she thought she was silly for hanging on to them, but other times she couldn’t bear to get rid of them. She’d assumed Lance had kept the few things she’d left at the house, but maybe not. She certainly hadn’t left anything of sentimental value, since he’d told her to take it all.
She pulled out a bag containing a bunch of quilt squares. The women at her former church had helped her make them out of Lily’s old clothes to be a memory quilt. But when Erin had told them she and Lance were divorcing, the women had distanced themselves from her. One of the ladies had apologetically dropped the bag of quilt squares off at Nicole’s apartment, saying they didn’t feel right completing the quilt when Erin had given up on her marriage.
It had been hard, going back to church after that, but being in Columbine Springs and its community, she didn’t feel the pain of their rejection so much at seeing the quilt squares. She didn’t even know why she’d hung on to them, except that they’d been made from Lily’s clothes and she couldn’t bring herself to part with them.
The top square was from a T-shirt that had read “Daddy’s Girl,” which is when Erin knew what she’d give Lance for Christmas. She’d finish the quilt for him, and even though it might bring up difficult emotions, it might also bring him healing and comfort.
The timer went off and Erin returned to the kitchen to finish readying the cookies for the men who’d been working to save their hay. Her decision about Lance’s gift brought a new lightness to her heart. Even though everything in her life was far from perfect, it seemed easier now.
Whatever happened between her and Lance, it was in God’s hands.
She had to trust that things would work out however they were meant to be, regardless of whether or not she and Lance ended up together.
* * *
Lance couldn’t claim he’d ever had aspirations of being a cowboy before coming to Erin’s ranch, but after working with Drew and Troy yesterday to try to save the hay, and hearing Dylan’s constant proclamations about what cowboys do, he had to admit there was a certain appeal to the idea. He liked how the people in this community looked out for one another and came together when people were in need.
They’d told Lance that the damage to the hay was probably bad. The tarp had likely blown off shortly after the driveway had been plowed because if it had been off when Ricky’s crew had come to plow, they would have fixed it. Hopefully it hadn’t been off long before Erin had noticed. They wouldn’t know just how bad the damage was until spring, of course. The several inches’ worth of moisture would seep into the bales and cause it to mold once the weather warmed up. That would render the hay useless as feed for the animals.
Erin had said it was ten thousand dollars’ worth. He’d had no idea hay cost so much money, but given the size of the haystack, he supposed he could see it. Did insurance even cover that kind of damage? Drew had said it was unlikely, causing Lance to wonder where Erin and her sisters would get the money to replace it.
Technically not his problem. But since he’d been the one feeding the animals, it had been his job to ensure the tarp was secured. He’d clearly not done a good enough job of it.
Erin had wanted him to sell the house so she could have her share of the equity to cover some of the ranch expenses. He hadn’t asked her why. And, other than completely shutting her down when she’d first asked about it when he’d arrived, they hadn’t talked about her reasons for needing the money. The other day she’d told him she wouldn’t bother him about selling again. But now, with the hay potentially ruined, where would she get the money to replace it?
Maybe he should think about selling.
It wasn’t like he needed the big house. They’d bought a giant house, saying they were going to fill it up with kids. Only now most of the rooms were empty. He’d gotten rid of a lot of the furniture, too—anything that brought up a memory had been quickly disposed of.
So why couldn’t he let go of the house?
Until he’d come to Three Sisters Ranch, it was the only place he’d lived where he could remember truly being happy.
Except he wasn’t happy there anymore. He wasn’t happy anywhere, in general, other than being here with Erin.
He knew it was an illusion and that the only way to get back to a place with her where they could have happiness again was if he let go of...
What?
He didn’t even know anymore. Though he’d basically talked himself out of holding on to some of the crazy beliefs passed on to him by his father, it didn’t make what he wanted to believe in instead any clearer.
That was why he was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of the new financial reports on his laptop. They were the only things that made any sense to him.
Except they didn’t.
While much of the evidence pointed to the likelihood that Janelle had been embezzling from the company, pieces of it still didn’t make sense. Not just that he couldn’t see Janelle doing it, but he still had no idea where any of the money had actually gone.
The boys entered the kitchen, laughing and covered in snow.
“Uncle Lance!” Ryan said, his cheeks rosy. “You should come see the snowman we made.”
They’d asked him to build a snowman with them, but he’d wanted to do some more work since all his plans to do so the past couple of days had been thwarted by their fun.
Erin followed, also looking as though she’d enjoyed herself, but, like the boys, also looking like she’d had a little too much cold.
“It’s a good thing you guys came in. I think it’s time for everyone to warm up. Let’s have some hot cocoa,” Lance said, saving the document and getting up from the computer.
“That sounds nice, thanks,” Erin said, plopping into a chair.
The tone of her voice made him pause. She’d had fun, yes, but she also looked exhausted.
“I know when you were discharged, the doctor said you could return to normal activities after a few days as tolerated with your boot, but I hope you’re not overdoing it,” Lance said.
Erin smiled weakly. “I stayed up too late last night, working on a Christmas present. Then I tried shoveling the walk and I think I tweaked something. So, I think we’ll go watch a movie and stay out of your hair.”
She had to be hurting pretty badly to make such an admission.
“I know you haven’t needed any lately,” he said. “But you might consider taking a pain pill to take the edge off so you aren’t hurting worse later.”
Rather than argue, Erin sighed. “You’re probably right. I know I shouldn’t have tried shoveling the walk, but I was feeling so good, and I was trying to be useful. With Leah coming home tomorrow, I wanted everything to be perfect. Serves me right.”
She got up and took a pill. If she was giving in that easily, she’d definitely overdone it. But at least she was willing to admit it and take care of herself now.
“I don’t want to watch a movie,” Dylan said. “I need to finish making my Christmas presents.”
“Me, too,” Ryan added, jumping up from his chair.
The boys raced off to their room, not waiting for a response. Lance started after them.
“Let them go,” Erin said. “They’re making Christmas gifts, and I don’t want to intrude on whatever it is. They’ll be fine in their room. I’ll go lay on the couch with my blanket and a movie, and you can continue working on whatever it is you’re working on.”
He’d noticed the boys shutting themselves in their room more and more often, muttering about a surprise. It reminded him of how, when he and Erin were married, Erin would give his mother a gift she’d made herself. However, his mother had always been offended at the cheap gift Erin had given her. But now, seeing all the time and effort the boys were putting into whatever they were making, he could tell that the gift was about so much more. What was the time put into making a gift worth? Even Erin had been shut in her room at various times during his visit for whatever gifts she was making.
He’d been thinking about getting the boys each a new train, but since being in the nursing home, he was starting to wonder if that desire was still a holdover from his past. Yes, the boys would like a train, but they already had a bunch. What could he give them that meant something?
He’d have to ask Erin. He went and peeked in the living room. She had already fallen asleep with the Christmas movie on in the background. She looked beautiful, snuggled in her blanket, the Christmas lights reflecting off her face...
He wanted to do something special for her, too.
Erin would argue that his being there had been gift enough. What she didn’t realize was how much his time here had given him. He’d come, seeking peace with the past. Though he couldn’t say any of it was completely resolved, things were changing in his heart and he would have a lot to discuss with his therapist when he returned home. Before, he couldn’t see a way forward. He’d felt trapped, stuck. But now, while he couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was, he knew something inside him had changed for the better.
And maybe, if Erin wouldn’t mind him staying an extra few days so he could go to church with them on Sunday, another one of the missing pieces in his life would fall into place.
He returned to the kitchen and got back to work, wanting to take advantage of the time he had with the house so quiet to see if he could figure out what was happening.
One of the sets of folders had a weird file name. It didn’t follow the naming convention they’d agreed upon corporately. But as he dug deeper into the file and started to read the documents, he understood why.
Janelle wasn’t embezzling from the company. But someone was making it look like she had been.
Accounting wasn’t his strong suit—and he’d want to hire a forensic accountant to make sure—but it was clear that someone was doing a very good job of making it look like the company was not in as good a shape as it was.
Lance grabbed his phone and dialed Chad’s number. Fortunately, Chad picked up on the first ring.
The boys ran into the kitchen just as Lance started explaining to Chad what he’d found.
“Boys, can you keep it down? I’m on a phone call.”
“Sorry, Uncle Lance,” Dylan said. “We’re just getting a snack so we can finish what we were working on.”
The boys each grabbed an apple then ran back to their room, slamming the door behind them.
“Sounds like you’re busy there,” Chad said. “Maybe we should do this another time. The business isn’t going anywhere, and you’ll be back from your visit soon enough.”
“It’s fine,” Lance said. “The boys are just being boys. But I’ll go into the other room where we won’t be disturbed so I can go over what I found.”
He grabbed his laptop and went to his bedroom. He’d still be able to hear the boys if they came out of their room, but it wouldn’t be so noisy for talking to Chad.
At first, Chad didn’t seem to be able to wrap his head around what was going on. But when Lance had him open the files that he’d found, Chad grew quiet. “Why would anyone frame Janelle for embezzlement? Firing her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”
That was one of the reasons Lance had refused to believe that Chad could have been involved with any of this. “What did the police say when you went to them?”
“Nothing,” Chad said. “I know I should have, but the investors I was talking to about valuing the company to potentially buy you out said it would seriously devalue our company to have an active police investigation. I know you think I was being too heavy-handed, and just wanted you out, but I truly do care about you and I wanted you to be given a fair price.”
It didn’t make him feel better, knowing that Chad hadn’t gone to the police because he was afraid of an investigation hurting Lance’s chances of getting a good price. “We need to. And we need to hire a forensic accountant to look deeper into what is going on and why.”
“Are you accusing me?”
“No. If I thought you were behind it, I’d have just gone to the police myself. I know you wouldn’t do this. But there’s something fishy going on and I’m trying to make sense of it.”
Chad was silent for a moment, like he was thinking. “I’ve had a couple of other investors appro
ach me as well. They have the capital we need to expand.”
Chad’s admission made Lance’s stomach hurt. They’d built the business on their own, without outside investors, and they were very proud of that fact. Lance had always thought it would make his dad proud of him, but his dad had never said anything one way or the other. But that was his dad for you. He could never bring himself to say encouraging things like, “I’m proud of you,” but he was always the first to call Lance a loser.
Another reminder that living life his father’s way wasn’t what Lance wanted anymore. He wanted a life like Erin’s, where their home was filled with laughter and encouragement, not shame.
“What did you tell them?” Lance asked.
Chad was silent for a moment and that non-answer gave Lance the information he needed.
“I’ve always wanted to hike Patagonia. Remember how we used to talk about doing stuff like that? All those crazy things we thought we’d end up doing when we made enough money with the business? But we’re still working crazy hours and, while I enjoy the work, sometimes I think about those plans we made.”
“How much did they offer you?” Lance asked.
“Not enough,” Chad said. “I thought about it. Especially with the way you’d been checking out. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know why. They aren’t happy that I’ve been making them wait on buying you out. But I had to give you a chance. And now, with this information, I’m wondering if maybe they have someone on the inside, deliberately setting this up, so they can buy you out at a low number and come in with the new partnership.”
It was starting to sound that way to Lance. But Chad had brought up a good point. About Patagonia. About the things they’d both said they wanted to do with their lives when they built the company.
“We should look into what those investors are up to. But you bring up something else that I’ve realized during my time here with Erin. We made a lot of promises to ourselves when we started this business. Promises we haven’t kept. What are we working so hard for? Are you going to enjoy Patagonia as much when you’re seventy years old and your body is worn out from sitting behind the desk your whole life?”
His Christmas Redemption Page 13