Wicked Heartbreaker: A Dark College Bully Romance (Westforde College Book 1)

by Serena Lyons

  “I’m not… it’s not a lie… he was behind me. He knew my name…” Memories invade my brain and I have to use the wall to support myself.

  “Come on, Dave, let’s go. She’s off her face.”

  “I’m not high,” I enunciate my words as clearly as possible. “Someone was following me on a bike. Please just walk with me to the bus-stop. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

  The girl sighs loudly and crosses her arms. Her boyfriend looks between us, a conflicted expression on his face.

  “Please.” I stare at him, willing him to believe me. “You don’t want to read about me being missing presumed dead in next week’s paper.”

  Dave flinches, then nods. “Are you going back to town or out to Headington?”

  “Town.” Suddenly all I want to do is cry.

  “The stop’s on the other side,” he points across the street. “Let’s go.”

  The girl rolls her eyes, but opens the gate and sets off across the road. She’s wearing very high heels and bare legs. It’s almost midnight, they must have been going out clubbing.

  I turn in every direction as I follow her across the street. My chaser must be close, but I can’t see anything.

  “I hope I’m not ruining your night.” I say to the girl as I sit next to her on the cold strip of metal that’s the bus-stop seat. “Are you doing anything special?”

  “We are supposed to be seeing DJ Crosshead at the Union. We’ll have missed half his set by the time we get there now.”

  “Brookes Union?” I name the old polytechnic.

  She nods, then glares at me. “I’m guessing you go to the ‘proper Oxford’? It’s just like one of your lot to expect the world to stop when you’re having a panic attack over nothing.”

  I wince, there’s nothing much I can say to that. Dave smiles sympathetically at me and we all fall silent.

  They wait with me until a double-decker comes into view a few minutes later.

  As the bus brakes, I stand in front of Dave. “Thanks. I know I sounded crazy before, but you don’t know how much this means to me. Thank you.”

  His cheeks pinken slightly, enough to be noticeable in the dull orange glow from the streetlamp, while the woman rolls her eyes. “Let’s go, we might catch the end of the first set.” She tugs him back up the hill.

  The bus is warm, and the driver smiles at me like he’s thoroughly satisfied with life. I sink down on to a grubby cushion and it feels like the safest place in the world. If this was an all-night service, I’d sit here until dawn, safe in this bright little haven full of CCTV and with a muscular driver to protect me. It’s the last run though, so I have to get off in town.

  That’s fine. I know exactly where I’m going; Callum’s house to prove to myself once and for all that he had nothing to do with this.

  Luckily there’s a bus-stop only one hundred metres down from his door. His street is so close to the centre of town, it’s busy with partygoers wending their way home.

  I hammer on the door. I suppose I could have told them I was coming, asked Nina to meet me at the bus-stop, but I didn’t want to give Callum any time to prepare, or myself a reason not to believe him.

  Callum opens the door, his expression annoyed. “It’s you,” he spits out. “What are you wearing?”

  I look down at my bare ankles. I’d forgotten I’d gotten changed into my running stuff. “Can you just get Nina? It’s important.”

  Callum opens his mouth as if he’s about to argue, but something in either my tone or posture must convince him I’m not playing around.

  “Fine,” he sighs. “Wait here.” He runs up the stairs shouting Nina’s name as he goes. He’s taller than the guy who was chasing me, right? And it wasn’t his voice.

  Thirty seconds later they’re both coming down, Nina dressed in fleecy pyjama bottoms decorated with Disney characters.

  “You’ve been running at this time?” She says.

  “Have either of you left the house since I left?”

  “No,” Nina says. “Why?”

  I pause before answering, looking straight at her and Callum trying to see through any lies. “You swear on….” I try to think of something serious enough to elicit the truth. “On each other’s lives?”

  “I swear. We,” she flushes. “Bitched about you for a while, then watched an episode of Tiger King. Why does it matter?”

  “Someone followed me. I think it was the same person who attacked me last time.”

  “What? Are you okay?”

  “I went jogging and when I was on the other side of the bridge, up towards Brooks, I noticed someone behind me. They had the same hoodie on as the same person who attacked me by the river.” I turn to face Callum, he’s staring at me his jaw tight and his fists clenched. “I thought it was you at first, but then I realised they were weren’t the right frame.”

  “What are you saying, Faith?” Callum’s voice is deeper than usual, almost a growl.

  “I believe you now. I don’t think you’re the one that hurt Millie, but I’m hoping you can find help me find out who it was.”

  “Why should I help you? You’ve spent the last six weeks trying to frame me for murder.”

  “Cal!” Nina interrupts. “We can’t just leave her to face this monster alone.”

  “I’m only helping if you promise that you believe me now, that I was out of the country and had nothing to do with Millie’s death.” His eyes flash with pain, and I see the raw emotion in them. Emotion I put there.

  “I trust you.” Our eyes lock and something almost too strong for me to cope with flickers between us.

  Callum nods his thanks, his full lips curving in a mesmerising way. Something lurches inside my chest, a thawing to the feelings about Callum that I’ve been trying to ignore for so long.

  33: Faith

  My words seem to echo round the room as the three of us all silently take them in. I’m drowning in emotions: regret, shame, anger, sadness, embarrassment. Callum should hate me, if it’s someone else who’s been attacking me, they must be the ones that Millie talked about in her note. I’ve gotten him all wrong.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, biting my lip, barely able to raise my eyes to look at Callum.

  Nina looks like she’s trying to bite down a smug smile, while Callum’s jaw drops and his pupils widen as he stares straight at me. It’s too much being under his microscopic gaze, so I bend down as if I have an itch to scratch on my ankle.

  “So what do we do now?” I ask, straightening up. I look up at the clock as I speak, it’s an expensive-looking antique; it’s already past one in the morning.

  “We need to pool together everything we know.” Nina stands up and strides over to Callum’s desk, pulling out a notebook and pen. “Let’s list down what we know. Anything, no matter how unimportant it seems.”

  I tell them everything: the note, the autopsy I stole, everything that just doesn’t feel right. They agree with it all, but are equally stumped on who the hell it points to. Callum seems the only obvious choice.

  “None of it makes any sense.” I flop back on the sofa, every inch of my body is aching. The thought of collapsing on to my bed fills my brain, I can’t think properly. There’s something really obvious we’re overlooking, but I just can’t grasp on to what it is.

  “We need to go up to Millie’s house.” Callum stares into the mid-distance, and I wonder what memories the thought of her house is bringing back. “Talk to her parents, her brother, look for clues in her stuff. Not having a clue who we’re after just makes us and particularly you—” He swallows deeply as he looks at me. “Sitting ducks.”

  “Her mother will never let me in. Maybe I can get Gran to sneak us in. She hates doing anything that risks her job though.” I wince. I’m stupid emphasising the difference between our families’ wealth. The Carter-Wright’s have servants: my family are servants. Or the twenty-first century equivalent.

  Callum smiles. “Oh, Lady Charrington will let me in, don’t worry about tha
t.”

  “And then what?”

  “Depends on what we find, but we will find something, I’m sure of it.” Callum smiles reassuringly at me and I can’t help but smile back. It’s nice having a team working with me.

  “Ahem,” Nina coughs, a smirk on her face as her eyes flick between Callum and me. I blush, suddenly uncertain on quite how long we just spent smiling soppily at each other. “If that’s all settled, I’m going to bed. I’m shattered.”

  “Cool, I’ll head back to college then.” I lean forward in my seat, but my limbs are too heavy to stand. It’s three am, no wonder I’m shattered. Usually if I’m up this late, I’ve drunk enough alcohol to mask my tiredness.

  “Stay here,” Nina says quickly, then glances over at Callum. “It’s not safe you going home alone.”

  He swallows deeply, his adam’s apple bobbing, his face expressionless. He doesn’t look happy at his sister’s suggestion.

  “Oh, I, er I just want my own bed.” I stammer pathetically, standing up to emphasise my point. “It’ll only take me a few minutes to get back.”

  “You should stay here.” Callum’s deep voice sounds almost eager.

  I turn from the door to look at him, brooding. “It’s fine and I’ve got early lectures I need stuff for anyway. I’ll text you, well Nina,” I correct myself remembering I don’t have Callum’s number. “When I get back, it’ll be fine.”

  “You’re not walking there alone.” He says this as if he’s my boss ordering me to do something. “Either you’re staying here, or I’m walking you back. It’s not safe for you out there, someone has already followed you tonight.”

  My hand trembles against the door as I remember how petrified I was running up that hill, sure it was whoever had struck me by the river, and that they might not be so ‘gentle’ this time. “I’ll be fine,” I say, but my heart isn’t really in it. “You must be shattered.”

  Callum glares at me. “If you’re not staying, I’m walking you home. No debate.”

  “Just stop bickering and go already.” Nina yawns. “I’m going to get ready for bed. Knock on me when you get back, Cal.” She stands up comes towards me and gives me a big hug. “We’ll figure this out, Faith. I promise we won’t let Millie down.” She squeezes me with more strength than I’d expect from her tiny frame, then slowly climbs up the stairs.

  Callum and I both watch her, a kind of silent understanding settling between us. I feel too tired to argue anymore, and I don’t want to go anywhere alone in the dark ever again. “Guess we’d better go then?” I turn to him.

  He nods and grabs a jacket from the coat stand.

  The cold November air assaults me as soon as I step out of his house. It’s freezing and I’m only wearing leggings and a thin icebreaker. I wrap my arms across my chest as Callum falls into step beside me.

  We walk down his street in silence. I want to say something, but what can I say? ‘I’m sorry I thought you were a murderer?’

  Callum seems equally distracted, his jaw tight as he stares straight ahead. He probably hates me, I’d hate me if I was him.

  We turn the corner on to Broad Street, its illustrious colleges glowing like fairy castles in the orange streetlights. There’s no one else around and it feels like a halfway point between two worlds. A liminal place where anything could happen.

  Callum cuts the corner slightly, his arm brushing against mine, and I shiver violently enough that it draws his attention.

  “I’m cold,” I explain. I don’t want him to think that he made me react. And I am cold.

  He looks down at me, a concerned expression on his face. “Christ, you must be freezing. Have my jacket.”

  Before I can answer, he stops walking and starts unzipping his coat.

  “I can’t take that, you’ll freeze now.” I protest, but he’s already draping it over my shoulders and suddenly I can’t think of anything except the nearness of his hands.

  I stop breathing as he fusses over the coat, pulling it tight across my collarbone. His eyes slowly work up to my face, lingering on my lips.

  Kiss me. My brain screams and I wait for him to lean in. His gaze flickers between my eyes and lips. He’s going to. I start leaning forward, just as a shutter comes down over his expression.

  “Come on, let’s get you home.” He stuffs his hands in his jeans and walks so fast I have to scuttle to keep up with him.

  What the hell just happened? He clearly hates me, which isn’t surprising given just four hours ago I still half-suspected that he was a murderer.

  I try to take a deep breath. Why did I get it so wrong? Of course Callum is going to hate me from now on, I lied to him and abused his trust in the worst possible way.

  The dark thoughts consume me and I’m surprised how quickly the college gate arrives.

  “Shall I walk you to your staircase?” Callum’s tone is flat enough that it’s obvious this is just him being a good citizen, not an excuse to spend more time with me.

  “Just here’s great, I’ll be fine.”

  He nods and uses his key to open the door into college. He holds it open for me, and I can’t help remembering the last time we were stood like this, that first night I went back to his. How might things be between us now if I’d known then what I do now?

  I glance up at him as I step through, but he’s staring down at the ground. Clearly, he just wants to get home. “Well thanks,” I’m on the other side of the gate to him now.

  “Bye.” He moves his hand from the gate and the door starts to swing shut.

  “Wait!” I yell, throwing my hand out to catch the door before it slams shut.

  Callum spins around quickly his eyes suddenly alive which what looks like lust. “Yes?”

  “You forgot this,” I shrug off his jacket. Am I imagining his disappointment? I step closer to give it to him.

  “Thanks.” He nods, his lips taut as his expression tightens again.

  “And… And I forgot this.” Before I can change my mind, I step right up to the door, lean across the threshold and find his lips. He doesn’t react at first, his mouth dead still.

  Fuck, of course he didn’t want me to kiss him. Shame curdles inside me. But then, just as I’m about to pull back and flee to my room, his lips open and he’s kissing me back with all of his might.

  “Faith,” he moans into my lips. He stumbles through the door, pressing against me until I’m jammed between his body and the wooden entrance. The gate is cold against my back and the November air is icy, but I don’t care there’s nowhere I’d rather be.

  I grab his head and pull his lips harder against me, needing to feel more. His tongue pushes into my mouth, filling me, owning me and I soften underneath him. I’ve wanted this ever since we last kissed, I just haven’t let myself admit it.

  “Faith,” he murmurs, briefly pulling away and then kissing me harder, so hard it’s almost like he’s trying to hurt me. He grabs my arms and pins them against the gate, owning me, dominating me, making me melt.

  “Callum,” I sigh back, twisting my head so his kisses brush against my neck. “Come up with me.” I offer, the words spilling out of me before I can decide if I really mean them.

  He almost growls in response, his lips pinning against me, his body pressing me even more firmly and I pull him closer. I’m trying to ravage him; I can’t let go. The pent-up desire I’ve been trying to ignore since I first kissed him is unleashed like a tsunami. And judging by his response, he feels the same.

  “Get a room already,” a slurred voice shouts and then the gate slams, making Callum jerk back, his body no longer pressed against mine.

  Callum blinks down at me, a kind of slow sobering horror appearing in his eyes as he realises we’re kissing. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He says. “I should go.” Callum moves towards the gate, resting his hand on the latch.

  “Wait.” I put my hand on top of his, tugging his arm. He turns to look back at me and I see the hurt in his eyes. “I’m sorry about everything, I should have
believed what I was feeling when I first met you properly, I should have known there is no way you would have killed Millie.” His expression darkens with my every word, and I stutter through the second half of my sentence, wincing when I finish with ‘killed Millie’.

  “I’m surprised you can bear to touch me,” he sneers coldly. “I should go home.”

  “Callum,” I yell as he steps out on the street. “I’m trying to say I’m sorry, that I believe you now.” Suddenly his good favour is the most important thing imaginable. I want him to look at me like he did that first night at the fresher’s fling, like he did when I turned up on his doorstep to seduce him: admiring and interested. I don’t want the hurt and fury that I can see right now.

  “Why would I trust the woman who thinks me capable of the wickedest deeds imaginable?” The pain flashing in Callum’s eyes, and his cutting words silence me. I don’t deserve his trust or his kisses, no matter how much I want them both.

  He nods brusquely, as if he can read my thoughts. I think about jerking forward to touch him again, to try to show him through touch what I can’t find the right words to say, but I know it’s not fair. I don’t deserve his second chances or his good opinion. This instinctive connection between us will never grow into something more, because of my stubbornness.

  I don’t deserve him.

  My hand falters mid-air. I watch him walk away from me until he blends into the dark night. The sense of loss winds me and I turn away. The three flights of stairs to my room feels an impossible distance.

  34: Faith

  I stand staring at the dark wooden panels of the back of the gate into college for too long after Callum leaves. Emotions tumble inside of me. If Callum’s not the devil I thought he was, then I do want to kiss him again.

  Kiss him, and much, much more. No man has ever made my pulse race the way he does. Just a loaded look from him makes me incapable of sentient thought. That kiss was enough to make me want to strip right there and demand he take me until I couldn’t move. My centre is throbbing with desire. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall asleep until I’ve had some release.