by Holly Renee
"It is." She grinned. "But she leaves out all the juicy details. All she told me was that you’re dating that hunk Beck Clermont."
"Mom!" Allie looks like she’s about to kill her mother, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
"We are definitely not dating." We were so far from dating that I wouldn’t even know what to call us.
"Well, whatever you all call it these days. Allie never brings any boys home so I have to get my dating gossip from somewhere."
"I’m afraid my own dating gossip is rather boring." I set my keys down on the kitchen table and took a seat beside Allie as her mom moved to the fridge.
"Now I may be old, but I’m not that old. I know boys like Beck Clermont are nothing close to boring."
Allie put her head in her hands, but her mom was right. Beck was many things, but boring wasn’t one of them.
"Well, you’re right. He’s not boring. But he’s not really good either."
She pulled out a pitcher from the refrigerator, then closed the door with her hip. "They never are, sweetheart. But that’s what makes them fun. I had a thing for bad boys when I was your age too."
"Mom, that’s so embarrassing." Allie truly looked mortified that her mother was saying all of this in front of me, but I already loved her. "I don’t want to hear about you being with anybody other than Dad."
I couldn’t stop laughing at Allie’s reaction, but I had a feeling her mom was like this most of the time. Because even though Allie was embarrassed, she still couldn’t stop smiling at her mom.
"Who said anything about it not being your dad? Your dad was very bad when we were young." She wiggled her eyebrows.
"Oh my God." Allie covered her ears, and I looked up at a picture of her family on the wall. It was of Allie, her dad, and her mom, and I had never seen a more perfect-looking family. It wasn’t because of what they were wearing or how they were styled, they just looked so dang happy.
Her father was handsome and had dark brunet hair that was completely in contrast with her and her mother, but I couldn’t imagine him being a bad boy in high school. I can’t imagine him being anything like Beck.
"I’m sorry about my mom. I didn’t realize we were going to get all of this or we would’ve gone somewhere else."
Allie’s mom laughed, and I knew that she was enjoying embarrassing her daughter. "And where would you have gone, Allie? Is there some boy I should know about?"
Allie rolled her eyes, and I knew this was probably a constant subject. "I’m almost convinced that she wants me to date more than she wants me to graduate high school."
"Well, all she does is work. She’s too good. She needs to break a few rules every now and then."
Allie looked over her shoulder at her mother like she was crazy. "I’ll remember that when you get a call at midnight saying I’m in jail."
"I didn’t say you had a go out and murder someone. But maybe just quit pining for Carson Hale and meet somebody new."
What?
Allie’s gaze snapped to mine, and I was shocked to hear what her mom said. I knew that there had been something going on between her and Carson, but I would have never guessed that she was the one who was pining after him.
They always seemed like they couldn’t stand to be around each other.
"I am not pining after Carson." Allie’s words were firm, but even I heard the lie in them. Whatever the deal was with her and Carson, she had feelings for him whether she wanted to admit it or not.
"Okay, dear." Allie’s mom set two drinks down in front of us and winked at me.
"Hello." A masculine voice boomed through the small house.
"Oh. Thank God." Allie leaned back in her chair just as her father walked into the kitchen.
He looked nothing like my father did when he got home from work. His jeans were worn and covered in dust, and his shirt had splatters of paint and dust covering it.
"There are my two favorite girls." He didn’t hesitate or even notice me as he wrapped his arms around Allie’s mom and pulled her into him. She didn’t fight him either. Her body sank into his as he held her, and I had to look away as he kissed her like he had missed her every dang second that he had been gone.
"Keep it PG. We have company." Allie grumbled with a smile on her face, and I wondered if she knew how lucky she was to have this. To have these parents.
"My house. My rules." Her dad’s words were muffled against her mom’s cheek, but then he let her go with a kiss to the forehead before he turned toward us. "And who is this?"
"Dad, Josie. Josie, my dad."
I nodded in his direction. "It’s nice to meet you."
"You too. Are you the one who has a group science project with Allie?" He assessed me, but her mom interrupted him.
"No. She’s the one who goes to Prep and has a thing for bad boys."
I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks as he laughed and Allie groaned.
"We’re going to my room." Allie grabbed my hand, and I quickly stood from the table to follow her.
"Don’t be influencing my baby into liking bad boys too." Her dad called after us, and the lightness in his voice told me that he was joking.
"No. Please, do. Teach her your ways." Her mom’s voice carried down the hall, but Allie closed the door before I could hear another word.
"I’m so sorry." Allie leaned against the door as I took a seat on her half-made bed.
Her room was small but filled to the brim with a life’s worth of things, and I loved every inch of it.
"It’s okay. Your parents are funny."
"Please don’t let them hear you say that. They already call themselves the cool parents." She held up her fingers and made exaggerated air quotes.
Allie climbed on the bed beside me and the two of us stared up at the ceiling that had a couple of dozen plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to it.
"What happened? You look off."
"You first." I turned my head and looked over at her. "Pining after Carson?"
"Ugh, my mom." She growled. "I am not pining after him."
"But?"
"But I used to have a thing for him. A long time ago. My mom thinks I’m not over it."
"Are you over it?" I asked hesitantly. Allie didn’t owe me any kind of explanation, but I wanted to be here for her. I wanted her to want to talk to me about these things.
"Honestly, I don’t know." She shook her head, and I knew that she didn’t want to talk about this. "What about you?"
"I had sex with Beck."
Her gaze snapped to mine, and if I didn’t feel so much concern rolling off her, I would have laughed. "Again, or are we talking about the first time?"
"Again." I slammed my hands down over my face and tried to make sense of what I was going to say. "I wasn’t planning on it. It just happened."
"Umm… I’m no expert, but I don’t think sex just happens. You don’t slip and fall on someone’s dick."
I couldn’t help the laugh that stormed out of me. The bed shook beneath us as Allie laughed with me.
"It wasn’t exactly an accident, more of a seduction."
She leaned up on her elbow and looked down at me. "You seduced him?"
"Other way around." I swirled my finger in the air. "I’m not even sure if he meant to. It’s just who he is."
"He is so hot." She dropped back down to the bed. "Well, was it worth it?"
Yes. No. I had no clue in hell. "The sex was worth it, but I don’t know about the aftermath."
I didn’t wait for Allie to respond. "Cami told me what really happened between Lucas and Frankie."
Allie turned on her side and tucked her hand under her head. "What did she say?"
"Basically that Lucas assaulted Frankie. Apparently, Frankie used to have a thing for him, and he did things to her while she was drunk at a party and his friends recorded it."
"That’s so fucked up. I knew that he, Beck, Carson, and Olly all used to be close, but I didn’t know about that."
"Like, part of me didn
’t want to believe it. You know? I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend like it really didn’t happen. But I ran into Frankie after school, and I knew that it did. As soon as I looked at her, I knew it in my gut."
"I’m sorry, Josie." Allie’s voice was soft and made my chest ache.
"What are you sorry for?"
"That you had to find this out about your stepbrother. That Beck used you to get back at him. That you’re caught in the middle."
I knew that she was right, but not one part of me deserved that sympathy. "The most fucked up thing is that I understand why Beck did what he did. I’m not saying it’s right. He really fucking hurt me, but I feel like I understand where his head is at."
"That doesn’t make it right."
"No." I shook my head and concentrated on the stars above me. "But it doesn’t make me hate him either. I honestly just feel so confused."
Allie laid beside me silently for a few minutes before she finally spoke again. "I think you really like Beck and that’s why everything feels confusing. You don’t want him to not have a reason to have done what he did because then you’d be forced to not forgive him."
I thought about what she said, and I knew that she was right. Even though I continued to tell myself over and over that I hated him, I really wanted to forgive him for what I did. "He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness, though." It sounded more like a question than a statement.
"That’s up to you and no one else. Do you believe what he said about not being the one to share the video?"
"I don’t know." I turned on my side and faced her. "Like, part of me does, but I don’t know if that’s the part that wants it to be true. But regardless, he still took that video and sent it to Lucas. Even if the video was never shared, that is bad enough."
"It is." She nodded.
"But I still like him."
"I know." There was zero judgment in her voice.
"Do you think I’m an idiot?"
"No." She shook her head. "I think you just fell for a guy in a shitty situation."
"And you?" I nodded toward her and prayed that she felt like she could be as honest with me as I was with her.
"I fell for a guy who didn’t want to fall back." She shrugged, and my heart broke from the sadness in her eyes.
I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her side. There was no hesitation as she put her own arm around me. Neither of us spoke for a long time as we just laid there and held each other, and I hadn’t realized how badly I needed this. Just to be held by someone who loved me, by someone I loved.
It made me miss my mom even more, and I buried my head into her shoulder to stop myself from going too far into my head.
It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when her mom woke the two of us up for dinner that we finally let go of each other. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep and neither had Allie, but I felt so much better when I climbed out of her bed.
Because no matter what I would have to face, I knew that I had her.
Chapter Ten
Beck
I had exactly zero interest in going to this damn gala. I knew it was for a good cause, but the entire thing felt so pretentious and stupid.
If they simply took the money that was put into this damn thing, they could give a lot more to the charity.
But what did I know?
I was dressed in my tux, and my mom messed with the bowtie at least fifteen times before we left the house. I was ready to get this damn thing off.
Frankie was on my arm, and I could feel how nervous she was as we walked into the event. She was dressed in a light pink dress that flowed to the floor, and she looked beautiful.
It was the same damn people that we were used to seeing, but I knew that she felt different now. The fear of their judgment of her was paralyzing, but most of these people had no idea what had happened.
Joseph Vos wasn’t good for much, but he was good at keeping secrets and making sure those around him kept his secrets too.
But I knew that she felt like she wore her truths like a banner, that everyone could see her secrets without her ever saying a word. I knew because she had told me that once. She had let it slip out as she cried and begged my parents not to make her go back to school. That was shortly after everything had happened, and it had broken something inside of me.
"Are we going to dance together?" Her hand tightened around my arm.
I looked down at my beautiful little sister and smiled. "If you think you can keep up with me, then sure."
She rolled her eyes, but I didn’t miss the small smile that formed on her lips. "I know that you think a lot of yourself, Beck, but has anyone ever told you that you have two left feet?"
"You’re insane. I am perfect." I ran my fingers over my jaw, causing her to snort.
"Of course, you are." She patted my arm like she was talking to a toddler. "Mom needs to quit feeding your ego."
"It’s not just Mom." I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and she looked like she might slap me.
We followed our parents through the throng of people, most of them clamoring for my father’s attention, until we made it to our table clearly marked with the Clermont name.
The large space was filled with opulent round tables covered in long white linens and expensive china, and there was a small dance floor right at the front of the room, right in front of our table.
Both Carson’s and Olly’s families were seated with us, and I wasn’t surprised. My dad had taught me a long time ago that you should only let a select few people in, and Lucas had instilled that lesson in all of us.
Olly stood as we walked up and quickly pulled a chair out for Frankie before slapping his hand against my shoulder. "Well, don’t you look handsome."
"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes and scoured the room.
"She’s not here."
"Who’s not?" There were dozens and dozens of people already milling about the room, but I didn’t care about any of them.
"I guess it depends on which one you’re looking for, but I haven’t seen Josie or Cami yet."
"Low blow," I growled. He knew where I stood with Cami. He knew exactly what was and wasn’t happening between us.
"I know. I just wanted to get your feathers riled." He laughed, and I rolled my eyes.
"Where’s Carson?" His mom and dad were already seated at the table, but he was nowhere in sight.
"He’s already off chasing some girl he spotted." Olly rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Frankie.
I pulled out the chair on the opposite side of her and unbuttoned my jacket before taking a seat. There was so much chatter around me, but I barely heard a word any of them were saying.
I was too busy running my gaze over every last table to see if Josie was here. I knew that she probably wouldn’t be. Not unless her dad forced her to be, but I hoped that she was.
I hadn’t talked to her since the damn locker room, not that we did much talking, and I couldn’t stop bouncing my leg as I thought about going a whole other day without talking to her. Without seeing her.
"When are you going back to work?" Olly leaned forward and asked from across Frankie.
"Monday. Dad’s giving me my working privileges back finally." Because that was basically the only thing he took from me after the video surfaced.
He said that I wasn’t mature enough to work for his company, and I sure as hell wasn’t mature enough to take over when I needed to. Those words stung like hell, but I knew he was right.
"He’s no longer grounded." Frankie chimed in with a small smile. "And thank God, he’s getting grumpy."
"I am not getting grumpy." I was, but it had nothing to do with my dad or his punishments.
"I think he’s lovesick," Olly teased, and Frankie’s smile became even bigger.
"Are you two done?"
"No," they answered at the same time.
I looked away from them, and I didn’t care that they were going to see me scouring the entire place looking for her. They co
uld call it whatever they wanted. I didn’t care.
The moment I finally found her, every bit of their teasing fell away. I had no idea what either one of them were saying, and I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except for her and how beautiful she looked.
I quickly stood from my seat and almost knocked my chair over in the process.
"Beckham, are you all right?" my mother asked, but I was too lost on her to answer.
I moved around the table and buttoned my jacket as I tried to straighten it out. Josie hadn’t seen me, but God, I could see her. She was the only thing I could see.
She was wearing a cherry-red dress that fit tightly against her chest before flaring at her waist in several layers of ruffles. It was held up by the thinnest of straps that disappeared beneath her softly curled brown hair.
The dress would almost seem girly if it wasn’t for the color and the way Josie’s body filled it out. Her lips were painted the same color red, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I watched them move.
She was standing next to her father and stepmom, and I knew that Lucas had to be close by.
I had no idea where I was going as my feet led me closer and closer to her, but I knew that I couldn’t just sit there and stare at her from across the room. Everyone else could do that. But Josie was mine.
Whether she wanted to be or not, whether she ever wanted to admit it, she was mine, and I refused to just sit back and let the most beautiful girl in the room walk in without being told how gorgeous she was.
It didn’t matter that I could feel her dad’s gaze on me as I approached or that I was sure my own parents were watching my every move. I just needed to talk to her. To hear her voice for a moment.
I stopped in front of her, and Josie’s surprised gaze met mine. She wasn’t expecting me to approach her, especially not in front of her dad, and I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t expected that this was what I would be doing either.
I just knew that I had to.
"You look beautiful tonight, Josie."
Josie’s gaze bounced to her father before it met mine again, and I knew that she was careful with what she said next. I could feel her tension in the same way I had felt Frankie’s, and I didn’t know if it was simply caused by me or because her father was watching us with an unrelenting stare.