The Fall of a God : An Enemies to Lovers High School Romance (The Boys of Clermont Bay Book 2)

by Holly Renee

  "You hurt me." I said the only thing I could think of. "I don’t know if I can just forgive you."

  He nodded his head. "I know." He stared down at me, and I knew that what he was saying was true. "I know that it will take work for you to forgive me and trust me again, but I’m willing to do that. If you’re willing to try, I’ll do whatever it takes."

  "You don’t deserve another chance." But God, I wanted to give him one. I knew that probably made me weak, and I shouldn’t want anything to do with him, but I did. I wanted him more than I was willing to admit.

  "I know that too." He played with my fingertips under the water. "But I really hope you give me one. I thought I couldn’t see past who you are. That was all I could see when I first found out you were Lucas’s stepsister, but I don’t care about that anymore. I was so angry by what he did to Frankie."

  Beck shook his head and looked off into the distance.

  "I’m sorry for what he did."

  His gaze slammed back into me, and I could feel the weight of the world under his stare. "Don’t apologize for him."

  "I'm not apologizing for him." I shook my head because I wasn't. I knew that I couldn't answer for what Lucas had done. No apology from me could ever change it, but I still needed to say it. I still needed him to know that I hated what Lucas had done to Frankie. I hated that he ever had the power to do what he did to her. "But I am sorry for what he did. I hate him for it."

  "I do too." Beck lifted one of his hands and ran it through his hair. He barely seemed to notice the water that dripped down his face as he seemed to be lost in his head. "I can't get past that hate either. No matter how hard I try. I can't get past the fact that I trusted him and he did that to her."

  "I know."

  "No." He shook his head before looking back at me. "It’s something I really need you to understand. I want to be with you, but I will always hate Lucas and your father. There will never be a time when I will get along with them. It’s not something I’m capable of."

  "I don’t need you to like them to be with me." I could feel myself moving closer to him as he talked, like something inside me was so drawn to him. "You can hate them for the rest of your life, but you can’t hold what they’ve done against me. You can never use it against me again."

  "I won’t." He looked so sincere, but I needed to make myself clear.

  "I’m not kidding, Beck. I know that Lucas hurt you and you have every right to hate him and to want revenge, but I can never be a part of that. If you want me to give you a chance, you have to let go of the idea that I belong to them at all."

  "Are you saying you are going to give me a chance?" He laced his fingers with mine and pulled me impossibly closer to him.

  "Can you look past the fact that my last name is Vos?" I hated that I even had to ask that question, but it was my biggest fear. Regardless of how he thought he felt about me right now, I needed to know that he could separate me from the hate he had for my family. I needed to know that I wouldn’t be paying for the sins of my father for the rest of my life.

  "That’s a stupid question. Of course, I can."

  "It’s not stupid." I shook my head and grounded myself in my resolve. "You couldn’t before. You hurt me because you couldn’t see past that."

  "You’re right. But I see past it now. I’m sorry I couldn’t see past it then. I’m sorry that I was such an asshole."

  "I suspect you’ll still be an asshole, though."

  He smiled, the first glimpse of relief on his beautiful face. "I would say you’re probably right. I think it’s a bit of a personality trait at this point."

  "Absolutely." I laughed and pulled away from him. "I don’t know if I’d even like you anymore if you weren’t an asshole."

  "Ha ha." He swam toward me, but I was still moving away. "I’m a nice guy."

  "You most certainly are not."

  He caught up to me quickly and pulled me back to him until my chest pressed against his. "I am." He nuzzled his nose against my neck, and I couldn’t stop myself from opening up for him.

  "You’re not."

  "But you’re still going to give me another chance regardless?" He pressed a featherlight kiss against my skin.

  "I am." I nodded and ran my fingers through his hair.

  "You won’t regret it." He pulled back to look at me, and I knew he truly believed that. I may not have trusted Beck fully or even fully forgiven him, but I knew that what he said now wasn’t a lie. He would do whatever it took to make me not regret my decision to be with him, and I really hoped that I wouldn’t.

  Because I didn’t know if I would survive being broken by him again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Josie

  I followed Beck step for step into the cafeteria. Not that he gave me any choice. My hand was securely held in his as he pulled me along.

  Everyone turned in our direction as we walked in, and I knew what they were all thinking.

  There was no hiding what had happened between us.

  It was just me and him and the rest of this damn school that was in on our business, and even though I had made the decision to forgive him for what he did, that thought still ate me alive.

  As soon as Cami’s gaze landed on us, I tried to pull my hand from Beck’s, but he didn’t budge. He held my hand firmly in his and pulled me forward as if he didn’t even feel my hesitancy.

  We walked up to the table he normally sat at, a table I never would have even walked near, and he sat down and pulled me down beside him as if it was the most normal thing ever.

  I pulled my lunch from my bag as everyone watched us, and I tried to keep my trembling fingers to myself. I knew the moment I gave into Beck that he wouldn’t be able to not make this more than it was.

  He was incapable of being subtle. The boy was all or nothing, and right now, I hated that fact about him.

  "What’s up?" Olly pulled out the chair across from me and didn’t act one bit affected by me being there.

  "Hi," I replied hesitantly, and quickly unscrewed the lid on my water bottle.

  "Coach talk to you?"

  "Yeah," Beck replied as he took a bite of his sandwich. His hand slid under the table and squeezed my knee. I knew that no one else could see it, but my legs still tightened together and my back straightened. "He gave me shit about missing. Apparently, I’m going to have an extra grueling practice today."

  "He can’t be mad at you for being sick."

  "Was he sick, though?" Olly cocked his head to the side. "The reports I’m getting are that he skipped with a certain someone because neither of you were at school."

  "And where exactly do you get your reports?"

  "Frankie," Beck said, and his hand tightened on my knee. "Those two are like a couple of gossiping old women."

  Olly shrugged his shoulders and didn’t deny it for a moment. I kind of loved that about him.

  Frankie walked up before anyone could say another word and pulled out the chair beside Olly. Her eyes practically twinkled as she looked between me and her brother, and I kicked under the table to get her to stop with the lovey eyes.

  "Ow," Olly hissed before looking under the table.

  "Oh, shit. Sorry." I laughed.

  "I think that was meant for me," Frankie whispered to Olly as she laughed. "So, how has your day been?"

  I had been texting with her and Allie all morning so she knew exactly how my day had been, but the small smile on her face told me she was enjoying watching me be uncomfortable next to her brother.

  "It’s been good. You?" Beck leaned back in his chair and pulled his hand from my knee, only to move it behind my shoulders. The smell of his cologne was smoky and sinful, and it shouldn’t have been allowed on high school boys in the middle of school. It did nothing but make me want to taste every inch of his skin.

  I didn’t know how they expected anyone to concentrate when they had boys who smelled that damn good walking around.

  I leaned back against his arm just slightly as he tugged my c
hair closer to him, and I looked up at his handsome face. He had shaved this morning, his sharp jaw perfectly smooth, and I wanted to lean forward and press a kiss to his skin.

  "It’s been good. Pretty uneventful." I wasn’t listening to Frankie. I was too busy staring at Beck. "Until now."

  "Oh hey, Cami." I pulled my gaze away from Beck as soon as I processed Olly’s words.

  Cami was standing at the end of the table, and her gaze was directly on Beck. She didn’t care that Olly had just spoken to her. She clearly had no time for niceties. She was looking at Beck like he owed her something, and every part of me wanted to pull away from him while simultaneously make sure that she knew he was mine.

  It was the most confusing and maddening thing ever.

  "Beck." Her voice was so firm as she said his name. So damn demanding. "Can we talk?"

  I dropped my gaze from her because I didn’t want to see that triumphant smile on her face when Beck pulled his arm away from me and went to her.

  "Not right now." He lifted the fork in his hand. "I’m eating lunch with Josie."

  She leaned forward with her hands on the table, and I knew that she was trying to avoid everyone hearing her. "Then do you think you can do it without making a fool out of me. Get your arm off of her."

  I stiffened at her words. There was no way in hell he thought we were going to become anything more than what we were when he was still doing his bullshit game with her.

  I started to scoot my chair back to get as far away from the two of them as I could, but he held firmly against my chair and refused to let me move away from him.

  "Beck," I whispered his name because I simply wanted to be done with this, but he wasn’t listening.

  "I’m not making a fool out of you, Cami. I told you that I am done with this shit." He motioned his fork back and forth between them, and even though he wasn’t being loud, I knew that everyone around us was listening to their conversation.

  Cami’s face was tinged with pink, and I knew that she was embarrassed by his words. She stood to her full height, and she looked around her before quickly looking back at him.

  "I thought you were done with your little game." She motioned toward me. "You proved that she was the whore you said she was. What else do you need?"

  I felt like she had slapped me in the face. Right here where everyone could see.

  "Don’t fucking say that again, Cami." Beck’s hand felt like it was going to break the back of my chair.

  "Why not? It’s the truth." She looked around the table and finally her gaze hit mine. "You used her to get back at her brother. You did the same shit to her that Lucas did to Frankie, and now the two of you are sitting here like none of it ever happened."

  I could feel Beck’s fury rising to an uncontrollable level as so many people looked in Frankie’s direction, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut for another moment.

  "Beck is nothing like Lucas. Don’t you dare compare them."

  "Isn’t he, though?" She cocked her head to the side and studied me. "You can’t tell me that you don’t see how fucking sick it is that he wanted to hurt your brother more than he ever cared about you. Yet, here you sit at his side like the little tramp that you are."

  "You know that I didn’t post that damn video," Beck practically growled.

  "No." She pushed her finger into her chest. "I had to do it for you because you were too big of a pussy. You didn’t even have the guts to carry out your plan after everything."

  "What?" I couldn’t believe what I had just heard her say.

  "That’s enough, Cami." This came from Frankie, but Cami didn’t even look her way.

  "You just sat back and let Lucas do what he did to your sister, and you were just going to let him get away with it because you were too pussy-whipped by his sister."

  I turned in my chair to face her fully. "That doesn’t make sense. How did you have the video?"

  I was so damn confused. So confused and so frustrated, and I just wanted to walk away from all of it. I wanted to leave every one of them behind even though I knew I couldn’t.

  "Aww, Josie." She looked at me with so much sympathy, and I wanted to slap it from her face. "Beck isn’t the only man in your life who prefers me over you. I was with your stepbrother when he got the video."

  She was with Lucas? Did he give her the video?

  I didn’t know which was worse. The fact that I had thought he was the one to post it this entire time or the fact that he had handed it over to her.

  Every possible scenario raced through my head as I stared at her.

  "What the hell are you talking about?" I shook my head because I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I hadn’t ever seen her with Lucas. I didn’t believe what she was saying for a second, but in the back of my mind, I knew that he was capable of it. I knew that what she said could be true.

  "Cami, you didn’t post that video," Beck said exactly what I was thinking. He looked so angry as he stared up at her, so betrayed.

  "I did." There wasn’t an ounce of regret on her face. "You couldn’t do the one thing you needed to do so I took care of it for you. Because I care about you."

  Despite Beck’s grip on my chair, I forced it back and stood to my feet. Cami was taller than me but I didn’t care. I was so fucking over her. "You have the nerve to call me a whore? What do you think your other lover calls you? He already has a wife so you have to be nothing but a whore to him as well."

  Cami went so damn still that I knew she had lost every bit of gall she had just stormed to this table with.

  "You’re lucky my father doesn’t put your ass in jail for sharing that video of me. If I were you, I wouldn’t say my fucking name again."

  Cami looked back and forth between me and Beck, but Beck could do nothing to help her here. I would shut that shit down if he even tried.

  "Fuck you, Josie." She was as angry as I was, but I didn’t care. "You don’t know shit about me."

  "Don’t I?" I leaned forward, not worrying about Beck sitting between us. "I think I know far more about you than you realize."

  Her gaze snapped down to Beck, and I knew that she was waiting on him to defend her. That was what she had been used to. She and Beck against everyone else, but he wasn’t going to defend her now. Not with what she had just said. That fact was perfectly visible on his face.

  When he didn’t answer, Cami motioned in his direction. "You know that he’ll be back, right?" She let her gaze slide back to me. "He always comes back to me. Even when you think it’s just you and him, I’m always in the back of his mind."

  Beck opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t let him. I let Cami watch every single move I made as I leaned further into him and slid my hand along his jaw. He quickly turned in my direction, his face so damn handsome, and I didn’t let my gaze fall from hers until my mouth met his.

  Then I kissed him.

  I kissed him in a way that let Cami and every other person in this damn school who was watching us know that Beck was mine.

  He was mine. That was the only thought that kept running through my mind as my tongue slid over his.

  He was mine and that was all that mattered at that moment.

  It seemed to be the only thing that mattered to him too. He buried one hand in my hair while the other pressed firmly against my jaw. His kiss felt as desperate for me as mine was for him. It felt so damn frantic to prove to everyone and ourselves that this was all that mattered.

  When I pulled away and let my lips fall from his, he was staring up at me with so much lust. He pulled me back to him and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before letting me go.

  I looked up at Cami, who looked so damn disgusted, and I made a show of running my thumb over my bottom lip gently. "You don’t have to worry, Cami. I think he’ll forget about you soon enough."

  She didn’t say another word. She looked down at Beck as if she expected something from him, and she wasn’t the only one who was shocked by what he said next.

  "Cami, go
the fuck on with your bullshit. I’m with Josie. I want Josie."

  I fell back into my seat just before Beck tugged it impossibly closer to his. I knew that people were still watching us but I didn’t care. My heart was racing and my hands were trembling, and I had no idea what was going through Beck’s head.

  "Josie is my girlfriend, and nothing you say or do is going to change that. I don’t know what this bullshit is about Lucas, but I don’t believe you. You’re just trying to hurt Josie because you think that’s the way you can get me back."

  I looked up at him, ignoring everyone around us, and there was so much hunger staring back down at me that I had to press my thighs together to stop the ache.

  Beck didn’t say a word as he leaned forward and kissed me again. This one was much gentler than earlier, so much slower and deeper and breathtaking.

  Cami looked genuinely hurt before she walked away, and a part of me felt sorry for her.

  But I couldn’t think about her.

  I could only think of him.

  All I knew was that I didn’t want him to let me go. I just wanted him, and I didn’t want to take the time to think about anything else.

  Everything about him felt too damn good. Too perfect, and I didn’t want to ruin that by thinking too much about what would happen.

  About what my father had threatened me with.

  Because I knew the moment Lucas found out about us, he would run straight to my father.

  But I suddenly didn’t care.

  When Beck was kissing me like this, like nothing in the world mattered to him, nothing seemed to matter to me either. Even though I knew it would once he was finished. Nothing would disappear simply through his touch, but I liked to pretend that it would.

  I just wanted to pretend for a few short moments that there was nothing that could tear us apart. Not even us.

  But that was foolish.

  I knew that, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  When Beck finally pulled away from me, he looked just as dazed as I felt. He leaned forward, his lips a whisper away from my ear, and his words ran through me as if they were a touch. "Have I told you lately how much I like you?"