by K Harris
“Girl bye, that nicca ain’t come to your room and make you swear off anybody else for the hell of it. You have been grinding on Ethan all damn weekend, not to mention when y’all came home for the memorial. He is pissing green boo.”
“If you say so,” I sighed.
“The real question is, do you want him to come at you correct or are you over it?”
“How do you answer a question pertaining to a rhetorical situation?”
“What’s rhetorical about a man seeing the errors of his ways? There ain’t shit rhetorical about Cage fiending like Jodeci. But no matter what he wants, what do you want?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Well there you go, the miles between you two just might be what is needed. In the meantime, what are you going to do about Ethan?”
“If nothing else, last night put into perspective where my stupid ass loyalties lie. They are stuck on Cage; he still has a mighty hold on me. There is no use in starting anything right now, even something casual. Until I can sort out these lingering feelings, everyone will be friend-zoned.”
“That is a wise decision. You damn sure don’t want to muddy up the playing field. Though I like Ethan, I’m rooting for you and Cage.”
“Before this, I would agree with you. Now, I’m not so sure.”
Chapter 12
Dez
“You look good with a baby in your arms.” My dad commented.
“Thanks,” I fondly caressed the head of my brand-new nephew. He was small but he had an enormous personality already as he tried to gnaw off his little fist. “I think someone is hungry.”
“He is always hungry; my milk hasn’t even come in yet.” Tia sighed.
“Sounds like he has taken on his daddy’s trait, bottomless pit.”
“Hey, I was eating for two I will have you know.”
“Uh, no. That is absolutely false news, I was eating for two.”
“But I had sympathy pains. That has to count for something.” Torrent complained.
“Yeah, that counts a lot brother.” I placated him to make him feel special.
“Don’t pacify this big baby,” Tia laughed. “He was always at your house because I wasn’t cooking. He is a bottomless pit. I should have known this little fella would be no different.” She said as I passed him to her.
“That’s my cue, I will see you next time daughter.” DT said and leaned down to kiss Tia on the head. He didn’t do anything that involved changing diapers and definitely no feeding.
“I’m gonna walk Pops out and jump on this conference call baby. You good?”
“Bye Pops,” Tia laughed. “Yeah, I’m good handle your business. Dez is here.”
“Who said I was staying?”
“I did, bye y’all.”
“You obviously want to talk so what’s up.”
“You are so funny acting.”
“Whatever, I just feel a speech coming on.”
“No speech, what happened at the Inkwell?”
“Why did something have to happen?”
“Don’t play with me sister, what happened? You have been different since you came back.”
“It’s nothing really, just a lapse in judgment.”
“A lapse in judgment or fate.”
“I surely hope fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to continuously place my ass in such sticky situations.”
“Who said fate put you in those situations? From where I sit, I would say you got the placement project under control.” She said with a tilt of the head. “Does this have anything to do with Cage?”
“It has everything to do with him.”
“What did he do now?”
“As if breaking my heart, in the beginning, wasn’t enough.”
“Never said that it wasn’t but I also know that people change every day. It’s called growth. When I first met you, I was shocked shitless at how closed off and reserved you seemed. Compared to Torrent, DT, and your other siblings – you were sheltered. Now you are comfortable with speaking your mind.”
“That’s different, I just had to get comfortable with being around and interacting with new folks.”
“And he didn’t have anything to get comfortable with, how do you figure? That man was probably fucking any hoe with a pulse and busting the back of throats long before he set his sights on you. None of these men in this lifestyle just falls head over heels in love without push back.”
“No one said that Cage was in love with me. If I don’t hear it from the source, it will always be hearsay.”
“You will but that’s beside the point.”
“How is that beside the point? That is the point.”
“Actually, it’s not, I said he may have changed. His mind may have changed. There may be more to the story than just what you think. You don’t want to be the ass in this scenario, do you?”
“I can’t stand you and I’m not an ass.”
“I love you too. Now, what did he do now that brought you back in such a funky-ass mood? And before you try to deny it, don’t.”
“It’s nothing that he did and everything that I did. A momentary lapse in judgment had me accepting a hookup with Ethan. Only he wasn’t the one that came to service me. Cage showed up with the key I left for Ethan at the desk. Don’t ask how he knew about the key cause I have no clue. Either way, by the time it was all over – I had a brand-new walk and a serious ache as a reminder. To say I hit the ground running as soon as my eyes popped open, that would be an understatement.”
“What did he have to say about popping up on you like that? I will keep my opinion to myself where Ethan is concerned.”
“I haven’t spoken to him since the few words we said before the act took place. I dipped out before he woke up. The few times that he tried to reach out, I ghosted him.”
“Damn, you weren’t sprung on his conversation or lack thereof, with his impassive ass. So, that only leaves the sex. And no one is getting sprung out over some bad sex.”
“I never said I was sprung.”
“You didn’t have to,” she shrugged.
“Sex with Cage is never bad. As for this time, let’s just say I felt too much. I was exposed and I don’t mean from the position that he put my ass in either.” Tia busted out laughing at me as I flopped back on the bed. “I thought for sure he was going to fold me up into a damn pretzel. If I called him the punisher before, I don’t know what kind of shit he pulled on me the other night would be called.”
“The punisher?”
“Honey, that baby Flintstone bat that he totes around should be illegal. I nicknamed it the punisher after the first time he pounded my pour walls into submission. This time though…” There weren’t enough words in my vocabulary to explain the feelings I had this last time with Cage. One thing for sure is that the cravings damn sure didn’t waver. If anything, they got worst.
“What girl? The anticipation is killing me.”
“Whereas I should have been fighting to get air into my lungs, I was urging him to amp it up. Knees jammed into my chest, legs rested on his wide shoulders, and toes curled painfully tight – I can’t forget it. His every breath just under my ear, nestled into my neck – it’s like I can still feel it all.” I cried pitifully.
“Damn! Let’s name that position the “What the fuck I say.” That sounds like some shit he would say during sex.”
“Well,” my scrunched-up face must have told on me.
“Oh, well alright then Cage.”
“It was more like demanding that I keep his pussy clear of other dicks.”
“Little did he know, that is exactly what you have been doing.”
“You are not helping.”
“Oops, I didn’t realize I was supposed to be helping. I just wanted the juicy kibbles and bits.” Tia cackled. “Let me ask you this, what are you going to do when you move back to Lincoln?”
“What I set out to do. Set up the diner and build clientele for my bakery.”
“That’s a
given and most importantly business. You want yours too bad to fuck that up. I’m talking about all that free time to roam. We are talking about a big cold bed with a huge warm body across town that seemingly knows your body like he has memorized how his bike operates. Vacant space between your thighs aching for a taste of the punisher.”
“I’m not playing with you anymore. You’re a bully.”
“That’s what he said,” she giggled.
“Eww, out of order ma’am.”
“You just explained a new position that I need to research, by the way, had you wide open for the stroke. I know you are not blushing. You just let a man with a bat tickle your tonsils.” I put my head down at the mention of my tonsils because I did try to swallow the man whole. “Aww shit, that blush could only mean one thing.”
“It was the damn liquid courage that I swallowed to kill my nerves. That is not how I operate usually. I don’t even know if I did it right.”
“Tell me anything chick, if he didn’t flinch or pull away – you probably blew his mind. All I know is that you are going to have a tough time with withdrawals when you are constantly faced with your dealer.”
“Don’t I know it,” I shivered in deep thought. Cage was my dealer and he had that good stuff that only he could bring. Was there somebody else out there with a hefty portion of dick that could sex me into a stupor? Probably but did they hold the key to my heart?
~
“You feel like chopping it up with your old man,” my dad asked. “Unless you are in a hurry, in that case, I can catch you another time.”
“Nah, you are good dad. What’s up?”
“That’s what I want to know.”
“Oh Lord, not you too.”
“Me too what?”
“Did you want to discuss how I have been different since I returned.”
“No, not unless you want to discuss something about it. I wanted to see what’s going on with the diner and bakery. Find out if you needed anything,” he shrugged.
“Oh, sorry about that.”
“I can only assume that your people have been on you about your personal life.”
“You would be right.”
“And Cage?”
“Yes, him too.”
“Let me know if I need to make good on my promise.”
“What promise?”
“You know, the fatherly advice or warning, however, you want to word that.”
“Did you threaten Cage dad?”
“No.” He adamantly stated. “I made him a promise to end his life if he fucked you over.”
“Oh my God. What am I going to do with you old man?”
“Not shit but love me enough to keep me out of the nursing home when I am too old to wipe my own ass.”
“I don’t think any such time will ever exist for you, mister.”
“From your lips to the ears of God.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” he leaned against the car.
“What happened between you and my mother?”
“I figured you would ask one day, and I thought I knew exactly what to say.” He chuckled. “We met at a club party that she attended with her sister and friends. She was a sexy little siren with a reserved personality. That shit drew me in, I ignored everybody else in the room. She caught my attention and I knew she wasn’t a regular in the scene, so I had to grab her attention.”
“It was like ‘forbidden fruit’ was stamped across her forehead. Several brothers tried to get at her, but we just clicked. That night we drank and danced like the night wouldn’t end. One minute we were grinding to a slow song and the next, I was ready to beg her to get out of there. Funny thing was, she suggested leaving before me. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“We got a room outside of town and did our thing. The next morning, she thanked me for the experience and dipped out like it was nothing.”
“Reckless much, y’all didn’t use protection?” I asked and internally slapped myself because neither did we this last time. The moment was incredible but extremely reckless indeed. When I returned home, I wasted no time in getting the morning after pill.
“We did one or two times.”
“Forget I asked,” I shook at the revelation. They were fucking like rabbits. “Did you ever wonder about her?”
“Of course, but I was a fuck-up at that time. Hell, that’s why my old lady quit fucking with me so long ago. We are good now but at one point she hated my guts.”
“I was going to say, Mama Norma never said a bad thing about you.”
“We are cool now. Does our story sound similar to yours with Cage or something?”
“No, it’s a little deeper than that.”
“Why because you’re in love with him?”
“There’s that, I can’t quite explain it.”
“Just say the first thought that comes to mind.”
“I am just now learning myself you know. I feel like I have a voice, an identity. If I submit to Cage will I lose that? Will I open the door for him to hurt me again?”
“Life is all about sacrifices and lessons learning from pain. Falling in love doesn’t have to be a death sentence and submitting isn’t such a bad thing.”
“That’s the problem, I have no problem submitting in any way where Cage is concerned. I have a problem because I don’t, does that make sense.”
“Perfect sense, you don’t want to be vulnerable where he is concerned but you crave the feeling of belonging to him.”
“Dammit, you get me.”
“So, you want him to claim you?”
“Not only that, I need him to want to claim me.”
“Oh yeah, big difference there.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
“No, I am agreeing with you.” He chuckled. “But let me ask you this, are you prepared for what comes with being claimed by Cage?”
“What do you mean? Bitches?”
“No, not bitches necessarily. Will there be women who will test your muscles to see if you have what it takes to hold a man like him down? Of course, but what about the threats that dare test his nuts? You know, such people exist, right? What are you prepared to do? Can you handle the bullshit that will no doubt come your way? Have you thought about his mindset and how he will react? How he will deal with such threats?”
“Whose side are you on again?” I asked after I thought about what he asked. Everything that he listed made a shit ton of sense. Was I prepared to deal with the threats that were sure to come? All for love, what would either of us do for it?
“Do you even have to ask?”
“I guess I see your point.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means taking up for Cage. But if by the off chance, those were the thoughts rapidly jumping around in his brain – they are valid reasons to pause.”
“Pause or cancel before anything can attempt to flourish,” I asked more to myself than to him.
“In the end, they could mean one and the same. But it’s no longer up to him.”
Whether Cage pushed pause on us or canceled indefinitely will be later determined. The final decision belongs to me. After spending years under one man who only wanted to keep me under his thumb lied to me about damn near everything. The only relationship with another man besides him that mattered was Maze. He cheated, lied, and pacified me to an early grave. One stifled me, the other smothered me with false sweetness.
Cage, on the other hand, was a hard, straight to the point asshole who didn’t bite his tongue. His mass sex appeal was authentic, never forced. In the most delicious way, his authoritative hand brought about the tummy tingling pain that only he could bring. Never in a mean manner does he strike but with a punishing thrust worthy of applause. Though some women around town were scared to admit it aloud if, given the opportunity to be ravished by him, they would go for it. For all that I knew, many were taking part. And yet, I still want him – all mean as ever, over six-foot-tall, muscular, nonverbal pieces of h
im.
Chapter 13
Dez
“What’s up stranger? You done hiding out?” Ethan questioned.
“I haven’t been hiding out. I have been busy with school and everything else I have to do in the near future.” I kind of lied. Since returning from Inkwell, I was embarrassed about the way the night ended. Where I was intending to spend the night with Ethan, Cage completely foiled those plans. My worry was that Ethan would question the change of plans or act differently towards me.
“I guess I will take that.”
“You don’t have a choice.” We laughed. “Look, Ethan,” I started but he shook his head.
“It’s all good. I knew it was a chance that it wouldn’t happen. Shit, I shot my shot but somebody else’s was better.”
“Wait, what do you mean by that?”
“No disrespect but I didn’t know that you belonged to the president of another MC. Another biker, sure why not but an actual president,” he shook his head.
“Hold the fuck up, I don’t belong to anyone but Destiny. The fuck, I thought you knew me better than that.”
“Shit, I thought you were smarter than that.” He chuckled. “That man has claimed you in more ways than one. I kept wondering why he was shooting me death glares every time we were around them and now, I know why.”
“Cage has not claimed me, so therefore I am very much single.”
“So, what happened Dee?” Ethan sat back in his leather swivel chair and waited for me to answer.
“I…I don’t know what happened. It’s complicated.”
“Nah, it really isn’t.” The hurt look on his face said more than his mouth. “What you didn’t know was, my room was adjacent to yours.” He smirked.
“Oh shit,” I covered my mouth. Did that mean that he witnessed Cage coming into the room or did Cage intercept him at the door? In that case, how did Cage know what room was mine?
“Let me just tell you, the walls are on the thin side at that particular hotel.” If Ethan was my next-door neighbor, that could only mean that he witnessed some serious noise coming from my room.
“Oh shit,” I repeated in embarrassment.
“Right, oh shit. Y’all damn sure weren’t meditating and sleeping was out of the question.”