by K Harris
“Ethan, I had no idea.”
“I know you didn’t and that’s cool. But I find it hard to believe that even if you did, you probably wouldn’t have given a fuck at that moment.”
“If we are being honest, at the time, no I wouldn’t have.”
“That’s what I love about you lil’ mama, you’re honest.”
“If that made you feel any kind of way, I sincerely apologize.”
“It’s all good Dee.”
“Still friends?”
“Of course, I just know where I stand now.”
“If only I met you first,” I said.
“As DT would always quote, “If – if was a fifth – we’d all be drunk.” You hittin’ the sauce hard today Dee?” Ethan jokingly asked.
“Fuck you, Ethan.”
“Shit, I tried to give you all this dick, but you chose the big bulky dude.”
“I can’t with your crazy ass today.”
“I know, that’s what I just said. My lanky ass never had a chance, you could have told me that from the beginning. Obviously, tatted white boys aren’t your thing. The brooding giant is more your speed.”
“Yeah well, we have a history that tends to tip-toe around the present.”
“So, he is the one who has your heart?”
“Pretty much,” I shook my head in shame.
“Don’t do that, you make me think he is toxic or something. Don’t make me hate a man I hardly know. One day I may have to actually work with him on a mission or something.”
“No, it was nothing toxic, we just weren’t on the same page.”
“You say that with such sadness,” he inquired. That was one of the things I enjoyed about my friendship with Ethan, he was easy to talk to.
“Though I never admitted it out loud, I was really feeling Cage. He let it be known before my heart could get involved that we should stop seeing each other in that manner. Or at least, he thought he did it before my heart got tangled up.”
“So, you two were just fucking and you caught feelings. You became sad because he didn’t return the said feelings.”
“Not really, you make me sound like the typical chick that agrees to ‘just fucking’ and then changes their mind.” I incredulously stated. In retrospect, that is exactly what it sounds like I did.
“I see the wheels turning in your head, Dee. I know you see where I’m coming from.”
“Silence.” There was no way I wanted to admit that shit out loud.
“Look, Dee, I’m only coming at you like this because we are friends. As your male friend, it’s only right that I point out some fucked up logic.” Ethan reared back in his seat and leveled me with his serious look. “There is no need for me to break down the ways that men and women differ when it comes to relations. As long as you have been around bikers, you should know the difference in the way they see things as well. That is two variables in why you two didn’t see eye to eye when seeing what was between y’all.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I guarantee that he is kicking himself for pushing you away or turning you down. You also got to take into consideration that you may be the first chick that has ever gotten under his skin. How do you handle that without panic? As per your words, not mine, you keep shit to yourself more times than not. I can just imagine how reserved you were around his strong silent ass.” He chuckled. “Tell me I’m lying.”
“I really don’t like you, Ethan.”
“You don’t have to, I’m still your friend.”
“Thanks for that.”
“No problem. But just as an afterthought, the first time he fucks up – I will be there with the quickness. First I’m going to kiss away your salty tears and then let you ride my face until you feel better.”
“Gotdamn Ethan, you are supposed to say, “with a shoulder to cry on” or something to that effect.”
“What’s my name again? I love pussy, what can I say pussy loves me. If you weren’t so stuck on the meat man, you would have gotten a taste. Shit, I was just trying to get my chance and his ass blocked it.”
“I can’t with you.”
“Are you not listening? I know this already.” He continued to joke.
“But seriously, I want some more art.”
“Oh, is that the real reason you came to see me. Shit, I should have known you weren’t coming to makeup, ole using ass.”
“You know it’s not like that. Plus, you are the only one that I trust with the needle, my friend.”
“Whatever you say lil’ mama, what do you want now?”
“I want a black and grey cougar on my left shoulder with an old school helmet and goggles. A small crack in through the left lens. I know you are a master at your craft so I won’t describe how much detail to put into it.”
“I gotcha. When are you trying to get this thang done?”
“Soon as you can get it drawn up, let’s get to work on it. I definitely want it finished before I move back to Lincoln.”
“Damn it’s not gonna take me that long.”
“I know that I didn’t know how busy your schedule was, especially since this was a random idea.”
“I just knew you were going to say a gorilla or something.”
“Why the hell would I choose a gorilla?”
“Besides the silverback, you are obviously holding hostage behind your zipper, the big man that caused you to make some unladylike noises was a factor in that assumption.”
“You are so out of order. Are you ever going to let that go?”
“Uh, hell no!” Ethan chuckled at his own admission. “Shit, I need to take some notes. Do you think he would mentor me? Cause that shit bordered the lines of passion and pain. Since you didn’t cry rape, I could only assume you were enjoying yourself.”
“Passion and pain are excellent ways to describe us in a nutshell. Did you pop some popcorn and pull out the lotion too?” I rolled my eyes at his commentary.
“Hell no, I heard just enough to know that you weren’t under duress and I dipped out. Shit, why should you be the only one getting wet? No offense but the wave pool was ripe for the picking, I couldn’t let the supply go to waste.”
“None taken, I’m glad your hoeing wasn’t halted because of my impromptu visitor.”
“You say that as if he weren’t invited,” he commented.
“Technically speaking, he wasn’t. But the fact that I didn’t turn him down says enough.”
“When you gave me that look as you left, I just knew you were leaving a key for me.”
“I did.”
“There was no key for me at the desk Dee.”
“Obviously, because Cage used a key to enter my room.”
“Damn, he is one smooth muthafucka.”
“Or something,” I commented and shrugged. “Anyway, since we have gotten this awkward talk out of the way, I’m gonna head out. I have things to finalize before the girls' trip next week. How many sessions do you think this tattoo would be?”
“If you can stand the pain, one. It may take quite a few hours though, but we can break it off throughout the day.”
“Awesome, so possibly before I leave next week.”
“Yeah, I gotcha. Let’s shoot for Thursday, I’m open. We can begin at eleven.”
“It’s a date because my flight is booked for Sunday.”
“Bet but make sure your man doesn’t drag you all over the place and damage my ink.”
“Shut up fool, I’m staying with Syd for one and two we are driving out the very next day with the girls.”
“Whatever you say lil’ mama.”
“I hate you.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Ethan didn’t know how much I valued our friendship. Shit, in this day and age, it was hard to have genuine friends who weren’t looking to hurt you in some way or another. Cage actually saved our friendship from being ruined if I’m being honest. If Ethan and I had stepped over that skimpy threshold and fucked, the awkwardness would have been worst.
Him hearing Cage and I is embarrassing enough. Him seeing me naked and being the recipient of my fuck faces probably would have been too much to overcome.
Though I’m going to miss everyone here when I move back to Lincoln, the friends and family that I have gained are everlasting. There is no doubt in my mind that we have built some long-lasting bonds that will stand the distance between us. These bonds are better than any of the ones that I have grown up with. No one has looked out for me or loved me the way these people have. Who would have thought this last years’ worth of bullshit would open the door for so many blessings to flow through.
What will the future hold for me and Cage, I couldn’t call it. After what happened at the Blacktober fest, there ain’t no telling where he will be coming from. Right now, the only thing I want to focus on is my business. Anything outside that has to take a backseat. If it isn’t bringing me joy or a solution to any problem that may surface – it has no room in my life. There is no energy left for me to donate to being depressed or unsure. The old Destiny still lingers around but Dee times three will be running the show. She knows her value and will not be settling for less than.
Chapter 14
Cage
Since the trip down to the Inkwell, Destiny has been a constant thought on my mind. She is there when I sleep and whenever it’s silent around me. Which sucks seeing as though, when I take the long rides there is nothing but silence. Luckily for me when it’s time to put in work, I can separate the two – business and personal. Either way, concentrating so much on her is not healthy and I can tell the difference in myself. Something had to give but she wouldn’t even answer my calls, so I just stopped trying.
Now that she was back at the place, she currently called home, maybe she followed through on her original plans to hook up with the white boy. Who could really blame her though? I treated her like shit when she was here. Then when I had a chance to talk about what was really bugging me, we ended up fucking. Shit not just the typical fucking either, this shit was beyond intense. Knowing full well any of the things we did was so far out of the box for me, I almost sought out a shrink. Maybe my head needed to be checked, what was Destiny doing to me that no other woman ever could?
“Prez, you ready?” Tech asked. Looking around the room, I realized that I was no longer alone. This was the bullshit that needed to stop. Either I sort out my feelings for her or I had to let them die for good. This was my greatest fear, becoming distracted. Distractions such as a woman led to nothing more than weakness. Weakness in this business was the number one killer, fuck the stress that she is putting me under. Though I suppose I would be the cause for this stress that I am under. It was my sharp tongue and fucked up logic that drove her away.
“Fuck,” I hissed lowly.
“Do we need to reschedule church?” Wood asked.
“Nah, that won’t be necessary.” I grumbled.
“All of the brothers have not arrived just yet, so we have time to push it up or cancel altogether,” Black added.
“Let’s continue.” I ignored their looks of concern; I didn’t need them. The face that looks back at me when I look in the mirror tells me how stupid I am enough.
“As we know, the transfer of the property next to the diner was a success and Destiny has no clue who owned it or the diner. The diner is very close to being completed and depending on the weather, the bakery may be finished closer to spring.”
“How can we complete that project sooner?”
“What do you mean? We are burning both ends of the stick as is, it would take some more hands to get them completed any sooner.”
“How many more hands?”
“How soon are we talking?”
“How soon can it be done with all hands-on deck?” The men in the room shared a look before Black decided to answer.
“With more hands, February sounds like a realistic projection. Thankfully, we have someone on the inside of City Hall, all permits were approved just the other day. The plans are drafted, the supplies are scheduled to arrive Monday. The foundation will be tricky if we get even a smidgen of shitty weather. In reality, even that is avoidable with a huge tent and several industrial heaters. It helped that Dez knew exactly what she wanted and mapped it out from the jump.”
“Count me in as one of those hands.”
“That’s good to hear, count me in too.” Wood stated.
“Why is that good to hear?”
“Because you’re needed here,” he simply responded.
“I have been here.”
“What Wood is eluding to Prez is, you have been taking damn near every extended mission that has come up lately.” Tech added his two cents.
“We love your work by example ethic boss but shit, let us handle it for a while.” Reno spoke his opinion.
“Noted,” was my comeback.
“I’m sure others will want to assist in this project as well, I will make the necessary calls.”
“Now that we settled that, we need to discuss the threat that we still face. It is definitely bound to get worse before it gets better. The word on the street is they are waiting for the opportune time to strike.” Tech sullenly expressed.
“These muthafucka’s are worse than roaches.” Reno grumbled.
“Agreed,” the room said.
“It’s a good thing Dez is coming back to town if you ask me. I mean Torrent’s crew is capable of keeping her safe, but I would feel better with her nearby.” Black voiced his concern for Dez’s well-being, and I knew it was sincere. Whereas I still had reservations of speaking my need for her to be closer aloud, others had no such qualms.
“Agreed.” Another round of nods flowed around the table.
“Security is tighter since the last fucking shit storm, we are better prepared to face off with these bastards. Whenever they decided to grace our doorstep, they had better bring their A-game that’s for sure.”
“The transfer over to Syd was seamless as well. Her renovations are underway and close to completion. That was another reason the workload was heavier than usual around this time of the year. Between splitting my crew up between the renovations at the diner and the remodeling of the bar, all of my hands were tied up.” Black said. “Now that I have you boys on board, we can start laying the groundwork while the girls are away.”
“Is there anything else we need to discuss before the boys enter the room?” Everyone shook their heads. “Reno, open the doors.”
Since cleaning house, there has been less tension and confusion during church. Though Dagger was always a thorn in my side and a pain in my ass, I never would have piqued him as a snitch. Considering that his dad was murdered in prison, I could understand him not wanting to serve any time but turning on his family was an all-time low. That was completely unacceptable, no club would sit by and allow that sort of disrespect. If I could kill that muthafucka all over again, I would.
“Calling church to order,” I banged on the table to get everyone’s attention. Tech busied himself running down the minutes from the previous meeting and briefly highlighting the topics of discussions.
“Two of the ladies of our community have brought to my attention that they would like to start their own club in so many words. Apparently, they have been in discussion with some other ladies around our way and they have all agreed to be a part of this said club.”
“Wait, they want to start an MC.” One of the elder members asked incredulously. This was bound to happen, and I was prepared for the hypocritical blowback.
“Their group would not take anything away from the Knights in any way. They will simply be a branch off from us.”
“Who all is in the conversation of being a part of this little girl’s group?”
“First, we are going to show respect to the ladies because it took a lot for them to even bring the discussion to the table. Though they really want to do this, they were wise enough to research and bring this before me and the executive committee. They didn’t run off and form some off the c
hart male-bashing club. This will be nothing more than something to call their own.”
“As some of you may know, several of the ladies in our community actually ride or knows how to ride a motorcycle.” Black added.
“That was my next question,” he grumpily stated.
“Now hold up Grady, what is the real problem?” Arapaho asked. “You afraid these lil tenders will outride you or something.”
“Fuck you Arapaho, I just don’t want things to change the way we operate around here. Women tend to block the natural order of things. Next thing we know they will be remodeling the clubhouse.”
“They have no plans of even socializing here Grady if you must know.”
“Oh, then where?”
“That is of no concern of yours honestly, if you don’t want them here then why should you need to know where they will be.”
“I’m just asking.” The other men in the room chuckled at his angry outburst being shot down.
“Look, I know having the ladies around all of the time will cramp the all-boys thing that we have going on, or that has been going on for quite some time. But let’s be real for a minute, women have been running around all of this time and they haven’t complained. The extra shit that pops off around these parts has not stopped those that overlook the mess from kicking it here. If anything, the ones with the issues just stopped bothering to come around at all.”
“That is true.”
“Frankly, I don’t care one way or the other,” Arapaho commented.
“Same,” a few others added.
“Truthfully, this will give my wife a place in the club and give her a reason to ride other than when we take our little road trips.” Terry, another older member stated.
“I must agree with Terry here, at least I know where she will be and who she will be with.”
“This may make my old lady get involved in the club again.”
“Shit, mine just may decide to get involved period. When I found my wife, she only heard stories of how the ladies of before used to hang.”
“I must admit, those were the days. They handled all of the get-togethers, not saying that is the only reason they should be around but it damn sure couldn’t hurt.”