The Making of a Saint

by W. Somerset Maugham

  XXXIX

  What shall I say of the eagerness with which I looked forward to seeingmy dear wife, the rapture with which, at last, I clasped her in my arms?

  * * * * *

  A little later I walked out to find Matteo. He was quite astonished tosee me.

  'We did not expect you so soon.'

  'No,' I answered; 'I thought I should not arrive till after to-morrow,but I was so impatient to get home that I hurried on without stopping,and here I am.'

  I shook his hand heartily, I was so pleased and happy.

  'Er--have you been home?'

  'Of course,' I answered, smiling; 'it was the first thing I thought of.'

  I was not sure; I thought a look of relief came over Matteo's face. Butwhy? I could not understand, but I thought it of no consequence, and itpassed from my memory. I told Matteo the news I had, and left him. Iwished to get back to my wife.

  On my way I happened to see Claudia Piacentini coming out of a house. Iwas very surprised, for I knew that my efforts had succeeded, andErcole's banishment decreed. I supposed the order had not yet beenissued. I was going to pass the lady without acknowledgment, for sincemy marriage she had never spoken to me, and I could well understand whyshe did not want to. To my astonishment she stopped me.

  'Ah, Messer Filippo!'

  I bowed profoundly.

  'How is it that now you never speak to me? Are you so angry with me?'

  'No one can be angry with so beautiful a woman.'

  She flushed, and I felt I had said a stupid thing, for I had maderemarks too similar on another occasion. I added, 'But I have beenaway.'

  'I know. Will you not come in?' She pointed to the house from which shehad just issued.

  'But I shall be disturbing you, for you were going out.'

  She smiled as she replied. 'I saw you pass my house a little while ago;I guessed you were going to Matteo d'Orsi, and I waited for you on yourreturn.'

  'You are most kind.'

  I wondered why she was so anxious to see me. Perhaps she knew of herhusband's approaching banishment, and the cause of it.

  We went in and sat down.

  'Have you been home?' she asked.

  It was the same question as Matteo had asked. I gave the same answer.

  'It was the first thing I thought of.'

  'Your wife must have been--surprised to see you.'

  'And delighted.'

  'Ah!' She crossed her hands and smiled.

  I wondered what she meant.

  'You were not expected for two days, I think.'

  'You know my movements very well. I am pleased to find you take suchinterest in me.'

  'Oh, it is not I alone. The whole town takes interest in you. You havebeen a most pleasant topic of conversation.'

  'Really!' I was getting a little angry. 'And what has the town to say ofme?'

  'Oh, I do not want to trouble your peace of mind.'

  'Will you have the goodness to tell me what you mean?'

  She shrugged her shoulders and smiled enigmatically.

  'Well?' I said.

  'If you insist, I will tell you. They say that you are a complaisanthusband.'

  'That is a lie!'

  'You are not polite,' she answered calmly.

  'How dare you say such things, you impudent woman!'

  'My good sir, it is true, perfectly true. Ask Matteo.'

  Suddenly I remembered Matteo's question, and his look of relief. Asudden fear ran through me. I took hold of Claudia's wrists and said,--

  'What do you mean? What do you mean?'

  'Leave go; you hurt me!'

  'Answer, I tell you. I know you are dying to tell me. Is this why youlay in wait for me, and brought me here? Tell me.'

  A sudden transformation took place in Claudia; rage and hate broke outand contorted her face, so that one would not have recognised it.

  'Do you suppose you can escape the ordinary fate of husbands?' She brokeinto a savage laugh.

  'It is a lie. You slander Giulia because you are yourself impure.'

  'You were willing enough to take advantage of that impurity. Do yousuppose Giulia's character has altered because you have married her? Shemade her first husband a cuckold, and do you suppose that she hassuddenly turned virtuous? You fool!'

  'It is a lie. I will not believe a word of it.'

  'The whole town has been ringing with her love for Giorgio dall' Aste.'

  I gave a cry; it was for him that she abandoned me before....

  'Ah, you believe me now!'

  'Listen!' I said. 'If this is not true, I swear by all the saints that Iwill kill you.'

  'Good; if it is not true, kill me. But, by all the saints, I swear it istrue, true, true!' She repeated the words in triumph, and each one felllike the stab of a dagger in my heart.

  I left her. As I walked home, I fancied the people were looking at me,and smiling. Once I was on the verge of going up to a man, and askinghim why he laughed, but I contained myself. How I was suffering! Iremembered that Giulia had not seemed so pleased to see me; at the timeI chid myself, and called myself exacting, but was it true? I fanciedshe turned away her lips when I was imprinting my passionate kisses onthem. I told myself I was a fool, but was it true? I remembered a slightmovement of withdrawal when I clasped her in my arms. Was it true? OhGod! was it true?

  I thought of going to Matteo, but I could not. He knew her before hermarriage; he would be willing to accept the worst that was said of her.How could I be so disturbed at the slanders of a wicked, jealous woman?I wished I had never known Claudia, never given her reason to take thisrevenge on me. Oh, it was cruel! But I would not believe it; I had suchtrust in Giulia, such love. She could not betray me, when she knew whatpassionate love was poured down upon her. It would be too ungrateful.And I had done so much for her, but I did not wish to think of that....All that I had done had been for pure love and pleasure, and I requiredno thanks. But surely if she had no love, she had at least some tenderfeeling for me; she would not give her honour to another. Ah no, I wouldnot believe it. But was it true, oh God! was it true?

  I found myself at home, and suddenly I remembered the old steward, whomI had left in charge of my house. His name was Fabio; it was from himthat I got the name when I presented myself as a serving-man to oldOrso. If anything had taken place in the house he must know it; and she,Claudia, said the whole town knew it.

  'Fabio!'

  'My master!'

  He came into my room, and I looked at him steadily.

  'Fabio, have you well looked after all I left in your hands when I wentto Rome?'

  'Your rents are paid, your harvests taken in, the olives all gathered.'

  'I left in your charge something more precious than cornfields andvineyards.'

  'My lord!'

  'I made you guardian of my honour. What of that?'

  He hesitated, and his voice as he answered trembled.

  'Your honour is--intact.'

  I took him by the shoulders.

  'Fabio, what is it? I beseech you by your master, my father, to tellme.'

  I knew he loved my father's memory with more than human love. He lookedup to heaven and clasped his hands; he could hardly speak.

  'By my dear master, your father, nothing--nothing!'

  'Fabio, you are lying.' I pressed his wrists which I was holdingclenched in my hands.

  He sank down on his knees.

  'Oh, master, have mercy on me!' He buried his face in his hands. 'Icannot tell you.'

  'Speak, man, speak!'

  At last, with laments and groans, he uttered the words,--

  'She has--oh God, she has betrayed you!'

  'Oh!' I staggered back.

  'Forgive me!'

  'Why did you not tell me before?'

  'Ah, how could I? You loved her as I have never seen man love woman.'

  'Did you not think of my honour?'

  'I thought of your happiness. It is better to have happiness withou
thonour, than honour without happiness.'

  'For you,' I groaned, 'but not for me.'

  'You are of the same flesh and blood, and you suffer as we do. I couldnot destroy your happiness.'

  'Oh, Giulia! Giulia!' Then, after a while, I asked again, 'But are yousure?'

  'Alas, there is no doubt!'

  'I cannot believe it! Oh God, help me! You don't know how I loved her!She could not! Let me see it with my own eyes, Fabio.'

  We both stood silent; then a horrible thought struck me.

  'Do you know--when they meet?' I whispered.

  He groaned. I asked again.

  'God help me!'

  'You know? I command you to tell me.'

  'They did not know you were coming back till after to-morrow.'

  'He is coming?'

  'To-day.'

  'Oh!' I seized him by the hand. 'Take me, and let me see them.'

  'What will you do?' he asked, horror-stricken.

  'Never mind, take me!'

  Trembling, he led me through ante-rooms and passages, till he brought meto a staircase. We mounted the steps and came to a little door. Heopened it very quietly, and we found ourselves behind the arras ofGiulia's chamber. I had forgotten the existence of door and steps, andshe knew nothing of them. There was an opening in the tapestry to giveexit.

  No one was in the room. We waited, holding our breath. At last Giuliaentered. She walked to the window and looked out, and went back to thedoor. She sat down, but sprang up restlessly, and again looked out ofwindow. Whom was she expecting?

  She walked up and down the room, and her face was full of anxiety. Iwatched intently. At last a light knock was heard; she opened the doorand a man came in. A small, slight, thin man, with a quantity ofcorn-coloured hair falling over his shoulders, and a pale, fair skin. Hehad blue eyes, and a little golden moustache. He looked hardly twenty,but I knew he was older.

  He sprang forward, seizing her in his arms, and he pressed her to hisheart, but she pushed him back.

  'Oh, Giorgio, you must go,' she cried. 'He has come back.'

  'Your husband?'

  'I hoped you would not come. Go quickly. If he found you he would killus both.'

  'Tell me you love me, Giulia.'

  'Oh yes, I love you with all my heart and soul.'

  For a moment they stood still in one another's arms, then she toreherself away.

  'But go, for God's sake!'

  'I go, my love. Good-bye!'

  'Good-bye, beloved!'

  He took her in his arms again, and she placed hers around his neck. Theykissed one another passionately on the lips; she kissed him as she hadnever kissed me.

  'Oh!' I gave a cry of rage, and leaped out of my concealment. In a boundI had reached him. They hardly knew I was there; and I had plunged mydagger in his neck. Giulia gave a piercing shriek as he fell with agroan. The blood spattered over my hand. Then I looked at her. She ranfrom me with terror-stricken face, her eyes starting from her head. Irushed to her and she shrieked again, but Fabio caught hold of my arm.

  'Not her, not her too!'

  I wrenched my hand away from him, and then--then as I saw her pallidface and the look of deathly terror--I stopped. I could not kill her.

  'Lock that door,' I said to Fabio, pointing to the one from which we hadcome. Then, looking at her, I screamed,--

  'Harlot!'

  I called to Fabio, and we left the room. I locked the door, and sheremained shut in with her lover....

  I called my servants and bade them follow me, and went out. I walkedproudly, surrounded by my retainers, and I came to the house ofBartolomeo Moratini. He had just finished dinner, and was sitting withhis sons. They rose as they saw me.

  'Ah, Filippo, you have returned.' Then, seeing my pale face, they cried,'But what is it? What has happened?'

  And Bartolomeo broke in.

  'What is that on your hand, Filippo?'

  I stretched it out, so that he might see.

  'That--that is the blood of your daughter's lover.'

  'Oh!'

  'I found them together, and I killed the adulterer.'

  Bartolomeo kept silence a moment, then he said,--

  'You have done well, Filippo.' He turned to his sons. 'Scipione, give memy sword.'

  He girded it on, and then he spoke to me.

  'Sir,' he said, 'I beg you to wait here till I come.'

  I bowed.

  'Sir, I am your servant.'

  'Scipione, Alessandro, follow me!'

  And accompanied by his sons, he left the room, and I remained alone.

  The servants peeped in at the door, looking at me as if I were somestrange beast, and fled when I turned round. I walked up and down, upand down; I looked out of window. In the street the people were going toand fro, singing, and talking as if nothing had happened. They did notknow that death was flying through the air; they did not know that thehappiness of living men had gone for ever.

  At last I heard the steps again, and Bartolomeo Moratini entered theroom, followed by his sons; and all three were very grave.

  'Sir,' he said, 'the stain on your honour and mine has been effaced.'

  I bowed more deeply than before.

  'Sir, I am your very humble servant.'

  'I thank you that you allowed me to do my duty as a father; and Iregret that a member of my family should have shown herself unworthy ofmy name and yours. I will detain you no longer.'

  I bowed again, and left them.