The Nanny's Family Wish (The Culhanes 0f Cedar River Book 3)

by Helen Lacey

  “Hey, sport,” he said, resting a shoulder against the door frame. “Are you okay?”

  Jasper nodded and continued to stare into the tank.

  “If you want to talk, I’m here to listen.”

  “I know, Dad. But I don’t feel like talking right now.”

  They were so alike, he thought and sighed. David didn’t like talking much about feelings, either.

  He felt a small hand curl into his own and spotted Scarlett at his side. “Hey there.”

  “Daddy,” she said, her eyes glistening. “I’m sad. But Annie looks sad, too. You should go and cheer her up.”

  David’s insides clenched. “I thought I’d hang out with you guys for a while.”

  “I wanna watch the fish with Jasper,” she announced and quickly moved into the room and plonked herself on the floor, lotus-style, in front of the tank.

  David looked at his children and his heart tightened in his chest. As much as he hated admitting it, sometimes it was impossible to protect them from the world.

  “How about we go and take another look at the kittens later?” he suggested. “Before it gets dark?”

  “Yay!” Scarlett said, clearly a little happier at the idea.

  Jasper nodded, and David left his kids sitting together, watching the fish, and headed back to the kitchen.

  “Is Jasper okay?” Annie asked the moment David crossed the threshold. She was still sitting at the table, wringing her hands.

  He nodded and moved around the counter, flicking on the microwave. “He’s okay. But quiet. You know how he gets.”

  She sighed. “I’ll talk to him later. I know it’s the weekend, but I could tuck him into bed tonight.”

  David rested his behind on the counter. “I should probably tuck the kids in every night from now on, don’t you think? You know, get them used to not—”

  “Having me around?” she said, cutting him off. “I suppose so.”

  He looked at her, noticing how huge her eyes looked in her face. “Scarlett said you needed cheering up?”

  She made a humorless sound. “That was harder than I ever imagined it might be. But since you’re so angry with me,” she reminded him with a wry expression, “I’m not sure you’re the person for the job.”

  “I’m not angry,” he replied. “I mean, I was this morning. But it was more surprise than anything else. Now I’m just...confused.”

  She stared at him, her eyes widening even further.

  “The microwave is beeping.”

  He’d forgotten all about the lasagna. He took the leftovers from the microwave, held the dish in a tea towel, grabbed two forks from the cutlery drawer and headed back to the table.

  “Hungry?” he asked and passed her a fork.

  She took the utensil and they sat for a while, snacking on the leftovers, and the mood between them was oddly calm. As though it could have been any day, any time. Not the day she’d decided to walk out of his life.

  Their lives, he reminded himself firmly.

  “I’m sorry they’re hurting,” she said softly.

  David’s throat tightened. “Scarlett and Jasper don’t want to lose you.”

  She dipped the fork into the dish. “I know.”

  “Neither do I.”

  She stilled. “I know that, too.”

  David reached out and grasped her hand, holding her steady. For a moment he thought she might pull away, but she didn’t. She remained still, slowly meeting his gaze.

  There were no rings on her fingers. But there would be, one day, if the fireman got his way. The idea bugged him so much he could barely sit still in the chair. Of course, she could do what she liked. She was a free agent. But the idea that she would consider doing something so impulsive seemed completely at odds with the reliable, responsible woman he’d come to know and care about over the past few years.

  “Annie?”

  Her throat convulsed a little and he watched, fascinated by how long and smooth her neck was. How had he never noticed that before? Or the brilliantly blue shade of her eyes. Or how sharply arched her brows were, and how it created a stunning combination.

  “Yes?”

  He took a long breath, and gently rubbed her palm with his thumb. “What can I do to make this right?”

  Chapter Four

  Fall in love with me...

  Of course, she didn’t say that. She wouldn’t, ever.

  Annie quickly pulled her hand from his. They shouldn’t be holding hands. That was against the rules. “I want you to stop asking me what you can do,” she replied. “There’s nothing to do, David. I’m leaving, so you’ll just have to get used to the idea.”

  But she knew he wouldn’t. She knew he would keep asking, keep pushing, keep trying to work out a way to get her to change her mind. As calm and reserved as he was, she knew he could be stubborn and hardnosed when he wanted to get his own way.

  He pushed back his chair and got to his feet. “This isn’t like you, Annie.”

  “I know you might be astounded that I’ve suddenly developed a sense of initiative,” she said and stood. “But this is me, David. And frankly, I’m surprised a smart guy like you didn’t see this coming. Despite how much I care about the kids, you really can’t expect me to stay forever. I do need my own life at some point. Why can’t you understand that?”

  “Who says you can’t have both?” he shot back irritably. “I mean, I haven’t stopped you from having a life, Annie. I’ve never stopped you from dating or having a boyfriend, or lover, or fiancé or even a husband. If that’s what you want, go and find one. It doesn’t have to change the fact you work here. Most people manage to work and have a personal life. And they don’t make plans to run halfway across the country to be with someone they’ve never met.”

  “This isn’t just about Byron,” she retorted and noticed how he winced, as though the mention of the other man riled him in some way. “I said I wanted a life...one that doesn’t revolve around my job.” Or you.

  “What will you do for money?” he asked bluntly.

  “I have savings,” she replied. “And I’ll get another job.” Annie saw the cynicism in his expression. “You can be really...insensitive...do you know that?”

  His mouth curved. It made him look sexier, if that was possible. And Annie longed to not think about him that way. She tried to shift her gaze and failed. Because David had some kind of pull over her that was impossible to deny.

  “I’m only trying to understand,” he said evenly. “You have to admit, this kind of came out of left field. I had no idea you were so unhappy.”

  Because you don’t see me...

  “Well, I am,” she said and then sighed.

  He took a moment before responding and when he did he sounded weary and resigned. “I guess I’ll place an ad with a job-placement agency. Maybe we could do the interviews together,” he suggested. “How does that sound?”

  It sounded like a terrible idea. The last thing Annie wanted to do was recruit her own replacement. She glared at him, fighting back her instinct to huff. “Sure, whatever.”

  David looked skeptical by her quick agreement. “All right, I’ll make sure we have a few interviews set up next week.”

  “Fine.”

  He took the dishes to the sink and cleaned up. Annie admired the way he was so self-sufficient. He had a housekeeper that came once a week, and Annie, but he still did chores around the house when he was home. When Mittie was at the ranch she did most of the cooking, but his grandmother lived her own life, having many friends across the globe, and usually traveled for half the year. Annie cooked too, but she wasn’t as adventurous as Mittie, who’d picked up her culinary skills on her travels through Europe and Asia.

  Annie got up and left the kitchen, heading for her own rooms, finding peace and solitude amongst the familiarity of her own thing
s, her own space. The truth was, Annie loved the ranch and the people in it. The problem was, David would never love her in return. And to live at the ranch, to be a part of things, but always apart, was not how she wanted to live the rest of her life. Of course, it wasn’t his fault. It was her own. He had no clue how she felt, and she couldn’t force him to suddenly have feelings for her.

  She settled herself on the sofa and grabbed her cell phone to call her sister. Tess answered on the fourth ring and Annie could hear her ten-month-old nephew chattering in the background.

  “His favorite word is Dada at the moment,” her sister said and chuckled. “Mitch thinks it’s wonderful, of course. So, how did it go?”

  Tess knew David wouldn’t be happy that Annie was resigning from her job. “As well as expected.”

  “You told the kids?”

  Annie’s insides crunched. Telling Jasper and Scarlett she was leaving was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. Guilt, deep and gut-wrenching, pressed down heavily on her shoulders.

  “Yes, I told them,” she said.

  “And how did David react?” Tess prompted.

  “Offered me a raise and a trip to Hawaii,” she said stiffly.

  Tess sighed. “Well, you knew he wouldn’t be happy about it. It’s a big change for the kids. And for him,” her sister added.

  “He’ll get used to it.”

  “Did you tell him why?” Tess asked.

  “I told him I wanted to move on with my life.”

  “And did you tell him about the fireman?” her sister asked.

  Annie’s cheeks heated. “A little. He thinks I’m crazy.”

  Tess laughed. “Plenty of people find love online. Only...”

  “Only?” she prompted.

  “They’re not usually in love with someone else. Maybe you should just lay it out and see what happens. Tell David how you feel and go from there.”

  “I can’t,” she replied quickly. “It’s too humiliating.”

  “Perhaps he feels the same way.”

  Annie laughed without humor. “Oh, please, David only sees me as a caretaker for his kids. I’m the nanny, Tess. That’s all.”

  “He’ll be lost without you.”

  “He’ll survive,” she corrected.

  They chatted for a while and when she ended the call, Annie felt a little better. Still, she couldn’t get David out of her thoughts. She didn’t want to relive the painful moments of the day, yet couldn’t help thinking about what had transpired down by the river. There had been an intensity about their interaction—something she hadn’t experienced before. There had been tension, too. But, nothing unusual about that. She’d butted heads with David more times than she could remember over the years. If he wanted a nanny who was compliant and did everything he said, he would be greatly disappointed.

  She sighed, thinking about her life, wondering how it had come to this point. Long ago, when she was in college and dreaming of her future, she’d imagined a much different scenario. A home of her own, a man who loved her and children to raise. Everyday things, she’d believed at the time.

  Now, those dreams seemed so far away. Perhaps it was watching her sister get her happily-ever-after that had forced her hand and made her admit she needed to make some changes. To find her own happy ending. Whatever the reason, Annie knew it was time she moved on, away from David McCall. Otherwise her heart would never heal.

  * * *

  David rolled out of bed the following morning and planted his feet on the floor, pressing a hand to his temple. The three belts of bourbon he’d had the night before were an attempt to erase the idea of Annie leaving from his thoughts—instead, all he’d done was end up with a headache. He wasn’t much of a drinker and generally preferred a clear head, but last night, after the kids were in bed and Annie and his grandmother had retired for the night, he’d sat in the living room and contemplated his situation.

  But nothing made sense.

  Not only Annie’s resignation, but how it made him feel. Primarily, the acute sense of something that felt a lot like...abandonment. It was irrational, of course, for him to think that. He knew it logically. The problem was, in the last twenty-four hours, his usual logic seemed to have deserted him.

  David spent half an hour on the rowing machine and then took a shower to clear his thoughts, dressed in jeans and black shirt and headed for the kitchen. Mittie was behind the counter and she gave him a quizzical look when he perched on the edge of a counter stool.

  “Rough night?” she asked.

  David shrugged. “You know Annie quit yesterday.”

  His grandmother’s expression softened. “Do you know why?”

  “She wants to move on. She wants... I guess she wants a different life.”

  Mittie smiled. “Can’t really blame her, I suppose.”

  David wasn’t sure he agreed. “I’ve never stopped her from having her own life. And she’s planning on running away to Texas with some guy she’s never met, did she tell you that?”

  His grandmother raised a brow. “That’s not exactly what she said.”

  “Isn’t it?” he said, a bitter taste forming in his mouth. “She met some guy online, some fireman, and thinks he might be the love of her life. She wants to get married and run off into the sunset with him.”

  “That doesn’t sound so bad,” Mittie said and grinned.

  David moaned. “Please don’t encourage her to be irresponsible.”

  “Why would I do that?” she queried, still grinning.

  “Because you’re a hopeless romantic who watches way too many sappy movies.”

  Mittie made a disapproving face. “You’re about as romantic as an old shoe. Sometimes I wonder how you ever were your father’s son. He was such a romantic. He courted your mother the old-fashioned way, with flowers and candy and he even sang to her—of course they were young, still more or less teenagers, so perhaps that had something to do with it. But I remember how your grandfather used to write me the most romantic poetry.” She sighed and smiled. “You’re missing that gene. However did you get Jayne to marry you?”

  “Jayne was as sensible and pragmatic as I am,” David replied and shook his head, remembering the small wedding at the courthouse, her insistence that flowers were a waste of money and their reception afterward at a local restaurant. “And I’m not averse to romance, but I don’t see anything romantic in running off to god knows where to meet someone who could potentially be a serial killer. Annie should show more sense.”

  “There’s more to life than being sensible, David. You used to know that.”

  Maybe he had. Once, long ago. Before he’d lost everything.

  “I don’t see how racing off with some guy she’s never met constitutes romance. The fact is, I’m concerned for her safety.”

  Mittie’s brows rose higher. “Is that what it is?”

  David wasn’t sure what he heard in her query. “Of course. What else?”

  “She’s turning your world upside down.”

  “You’re right, she is,” he agreed, irritation weaving through his chest when he remembered the fact. “The kids need her and she’s abandoning them.”

  And me.

  “That’s correct,” Mittie said gently. “She is needed here. Although I’m not sure you fully comprehend why.”

  David gaped at his grandmother. “What does that mean?”

  “You’re a smart boy,” she said and then paused as Scarlett came running into the room. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

  David hugged his daughter and was just about to settle her at the table for breakfast when Annie walked into the room, dressed in yoga pants, a JoJo’s Pizza T-shirt, clearly seeking coffee. When he caught her gaze, she quickly turned toward his grandmother and she said something about needing sugar.

  “Not running this morning?” he as
ked.

  She shrugged one shoulder. “I wasn’t in the mood,” she said and grabbed the sugar bowl Mittie passed to her. “Thank you,” Annie said and ruffled the top of Scarlett’s head. “Morning, sweetie.”

  His little girl’s face beamed. “Can we play princesses today, Annie?”

  “It’s Annie’s day off today, remember?” he reminded his daughter, and then hoped he didn’t get stuck with the princess-playtime gig because he really didn’t look so great in a tiara.

  Which was obviously what Annie was thinking, because she glanced at him and grinned. “How about this afternoon,” she said and turned her attention to Scarlett.

  It was her day off, but David knew she rarely said no to his daughter. And she wasn’t likely to do so now, particularly since she was leaving. She looked back his way. “I’m going to the Triple C this morning to see Tess and the baby. Why don’t I take her with me? Unless you have plans with her and Jasper of your own today?”

  “Nothing I can’t change,” he replied,

  David shot a look toward his curiously staring grandmother, then met Annie’s gaze. “Better still, I’ll come with you, since I need to catch up with Mitch about something,” he suggested and shrugged lightly. “And we can bring Jasper, too.”

  The tiny line between her brows furrowed a little, but she nodded. “Okay.”

  “Tenish work for you?”

  “Sure. See you then,” she said and turned on her heel.

  Once she was gone, David moved behind the counter and grabbed a cereal bowl for his daughter. He knew Mittie was watching him and felt her scrutiny down to the soles of his feet.

  “What?” he said, not looking at her.

  “You remember that I have that Alaskan cruise coming up?” she reminded him. “So I won’t be here for a month.”

  He looked at the calendar on the refrigerator. Mittie highlighted the days and weeks she vacationed so he could keep track of her movements. As much as he was grateful for the way she helped around the place when she was at the ranch, she wasn’t the sort who would settle for an ordinary life. Mittie loved to travel and he supported her vacationing and need to see the world.