by Helen Lacey
“I remember.”
“You need to fix this,” she said quietly. “Or else this family will be torn apart.”
“I know that,” he said, equally as quiet. “The kids adore Annie... I don’t know how I’m supposed to replace her in three weeks.”
“You can’t,” his grandmother said bluntly. “So, think of something to make her stay.”
“I offered her a raise and a paid vacation and she pretty much told me to go to hell. It’s not money she wants.”
Mittie raised a quizzical brow. “No, David. She wants a husband. And a family.”
David stilled instantly. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
“A possible solution.”
He laughed when he realized what she meant. “Be serious. Annie works for me. Our relationship is strictly professional and I—”
“If you say so.”
David didn’t miss the curious twinkle in his grandmother’s eyes. But her insinuation that he was the solution was way off base. The idea of anything happening with Annie was out of the question.
Or was it?
They didn’t think about each other that way.
Or did they?
Sure, she was beautiful. And yeah, he wasn’t made of stone—he tried to maintain that professional distance, but even he couldn’t help but take notice of her looks occasionally. But anything further was off the table.
So, yes, perhaps when they were at the cottage yesterday there was something stirring that he couldn’t completely dismiss. Something that had kept him awake for the better part of the night, wondering what if... what if he’d completely missed a moment... But that was yesterday. And today was a different story. Today he had to think of a way to get her to stay that didn’t include some crazy notion his grandmother alluded to.
He spent the next couple of hours with the kids, getting them dressed for their outing. Jasper was quieter than usual, but David didn’t press him to talk. When his son was ready, he would open up, that was Jasper’s way. Much like his own, he suspected. They waited for Annie by his BMW and she came out of the house at a minute after ten, her hair down, her jean-clad hips swaying as she walked, her jacket accentuating her curves.
Whoa.
David frowned, shook his head and concentrated on getting the kids buckled into their seats in the back of the SUV. He refused to spare another thought for the way Annie looked. Until she got into the front seat and her fragrance hit his senses like a freight train.
It was going to be a long ride...
The drive to the Triple C ranch was a relatively short one—just twenty minutes—and they had done it together countless times, but never with so much thick tension between them. Once he turned the car into the long driveway he could almost feel her sense of relief, as though she couldn’t wait to be away from him. When he pulled up and stopped the car, Jasper was out in a flash, while Scarlett waited to be unbuckled from her booster seat.
David spotted Mitch striding across the yard from the stables, his swagger that of the quintessential cowboy. His cousin was also his closest friend. He’d raised his five siblings after their father, Billie-Jack, had run out on them, and Mitch had been there for him when Jayne and his mom died, even though he’d been going through his divorce from Tess at the time. It was unbelievable, really, that he and Tess had found their way back to one another after so much grief and loss.
He noticed that Annie was out of the car and was walking up to the house with Scarlett’s hand clutched in her own, while Jasper headed for his uncle. Well, technically, his son’s second cousin, but they would always regard each other’s kids as nieces and nephews. A couple of dogs raced around the yard and quickly captured Jasper’s attention.
Mitch tilted his Stetson. “Mornin’,” he said and grinned. “Don’t think I need to ask how you are, right?”
David glanced in Annie’s direction as she headed up the steps and disappeared into the big house. “I take it you’ve heard?”
His cousin nodded. “She called Tess yesterday.”
David kept one eye on his son, who was still petting the dogs. “Of course. Did Tess tell you about the fireman Annie plans on running off with?”
Mitch laughed and slapped him across the back. “Looks like you’re screwed then. I mean, how do you compete with that?”
David frowned. What was with everyone today? First his grandmother, now Mitch? “I don’t plan on competing with anyone. She wants to leave so she can get married. Probably to this...” he gestured in frustration “...stranger.”
Mitch grinned. “That might be a little premature. She’s never actually met this guy, right?”
He shrugged. “Not yet, but they’ve been corresponding for months, apparently. I’m just as confused by the whole thing as you are. Maybe Tess can talk some sense into her.”
“Don’t count on it,” Mitch replied. “My wife thinks it’s romantic and has volunteered to be with Annie when she meets this guy.”
David tossed his hands in the air. “Great! Has everyone lost their minds in the last twenty-four hours?”
“Possibly,” Mitch said and laughed again. “Tess said her sister has been thinking about it for some time.”
“Nice to be told.”
“You can be a hard-ass,” Mitch said and grinned. “Maybe she avoided telling you because she knew you wouldn’t listen rationally.”
“I’m rational,” David corrected.
“When it suits you,” Mitch supplied. “And you were never going to be rational about this.”
“Why do you say that?”
Mitch rolled his eyes. “Because, my friend, you can’t live without her.”
David heard truth in the other man’s words, but didn’t want to consider it...didn’t want to question what it meant.
“What?” he said, exasperated.
“Put it this way,” Mitch said quietly and rested his behind on the hood of the SUV. “You rely on Annie completely...she’s been the one constant in your life since you lost Jayne and your mom, hasn’t she?”
David shrugged. “I...well...yes, I guess so.”
“So, it makes perfect sense that you didn’t see this coming, because you weren’t looking for it.”
“Because I’m so wrapped up in myself, you mean?” he suggested sarcastically, not liking the way the words sounded. “Thanks for setting me straight.”
Mitch shook his head. “There it is...that annoying arrogance. None of us are perfect—ask my wife. She’ll tell you what a pain in the ass I am. Genetic dysfunction perhaps,” he said and laughed. “The thing is, you have to make Annie want to stay more than she wants to leave—and this guy in Texas you mentioned seems like all the motivation she needs to bail and race off looking for what she wants. Or maybe it’s just what she thinks she wants.”
David scowled. “You’re not helping.”
“Sure I am,” Mitch flipped back. “Simply work out what she wants more than this guy.”
“I do know. She wants to get married and have kids. Want to hear something funny—Mittie suggested that I should, you know, marry her,” he said humorlessly.
Mitch shrugged and offered a lopsided grin. “It’s not such a bad idea.”
“It was a joke,” David said and shook his head. “Annie and I don’t...we don’t think about each other that way.”
Except as David said the words, he felt something crumble inside him. Because though it sounded like the truth—the same truth he’d believed for years—somehow, it didn’t sit right. It didn’t make sense. And he had no idea why his beliefs had shifted so suddenly. The idea of losing Annie rocked the very foundations of his life and Mitch was right—he didn’t want to lose her. But marriage? How could they? It wasn’t logical, was it?
“You’d rather watch as she marries someone else?”
David jerked his atte
ntion back to his cousin. “What?”
“Because that’s what will happen,” Mitch said bluntly. “Maybe it won’t be this guy, but it will be someone, one day. And since you’re in a position to do something about it, then do something about it. The fact is, Jayne wouldn’t want you to be alone.”
David knew that. But the truth was, he didn’t feel alone. He had his family, his kids. And Annie. He ignored the twitch in his gut. “Marriage isn’t the answer.”
Mitch shrugged. “And it won’t be,” his cousin said flatly. “Not while you’re still wearing your wedding ring.”
David glanced down at the narrow band on his left hand. Most days he forgot it was there.
Anyway, Annie didn’t want him in that way. She wanted her fireman, online love. Changing the rules and the dynamic of their relationship would be plain stupid.
And he wasn’t stupid. He might be a hard-ass. He might be arrogant. He might be a whole lot of things...but he wasn’t about to start making any kind of fool of himself in a desperate attempt to get her to stay. Not a chance.
* * *
“He’s so beautiful, Tess,” Annie said as she rocked her sleeping nephew in her arms, staring lovingly at his perfect little face.
Tess sighed and sat on the opposite sofa in the huge living room. “I know. Some days I can’t believe how lucky I am, considering everything that happened.”
Annie met her sister’s gaze. Years ago, the first time around that she’d married Mitch, Tess had endured several failed pregnancies. It was why her marriage to Mitch had ended. But now she had her son and the devotion of the only man she’d ever loved. Of course, Annie was a little envious, but she was also genuinely happy for her sister. And she wanted that same happiness for herself—including a husband and a baby. Her clock was ticking. And her life needed to change if she was going to get what she wanted.
“Mitch is a lucky man. I can’t imagine how good it must feel spending each day with the person you love most in the world,” she said and sighed.
Tess raised a brow. “Can’t you?”
Annie’s cheeks heated. She knew what Tess meant. “It’s not the same thing.”
Her sister regarded her with gentle understanding. “I still think you should lay it all out. What have you got to lose?”
“You mean besides complete humiliation? And my pride?”
“That’s your emotions talking,” Tess said softly.
“Exactly,” she replied and smiled. “I’m a sucker for them. That’s what got me into this mess.”
“You fell in love,” Tess reminded her.
“And now I have to fall out of love,” she said quietly, looking at Scarlett, who sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, playing with a couple of Charlie’s stuffed toys. “No problem.”
Tess offered a gentle nod. “But it’s not just one person you have to fall out of love with, is it?” Tess asked intuitively.
Annie swallowed the lump burning her throat. Her heart was breaking merely thinking about leaving Scarlett and Jasper—imagining how she’d be when she actually left, didn’t bear considering—unless she wanted to fall into a heap.
She looked at the photographs on the mantel—generations of Culhanes, including a recent photograph of the entire family, taken at Mitch and Tess’s wedding. Annie found herself in the picture, holding Scarlett, standing beside David. To an outsider, it would look as though they were very much a family unit. But looks were deceiving. True, the Culhanes had always treated her like family, and she genuinely liked them, particularly Mitch’s sister Ellie. And since her good friend Abby had recently married Mitch’s younger brother Jake, the connection with them all had become even stronger. Yes, she was one of them now, while she worked for David and lived in Cedar River. But afterwards, when she was replaced by another nanny, she wondered if that would change. Would she be regarded as Tess’s step-sister and nothing more? The memory of her would fade. Particularly if she moved away to somewhere like Texas.
Byron. She’d barely spared him a thought in the last twenty-four hours. He’d texted her that morning and she’d held off responding. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps because her emotions were in such turmoil and she didn’t want to add any fuel to her already fractured feelings.
“Byron’s asking to meet,” she said, keeping her voice low so that Scarlett wouldn’t pick up on the strain in her tone.
“Are you having second thoughts?”
She shrugged. “Second and third and fourth,” she admitted. “I just want to be sure I’m doing the right thing.”
“I guess there are no guarantees in any relationship,’ Tess added. “But you’ll never know unless you take the chance.”
“So,” she queried, her voice quiet. “You think I should do it?”
“You know what I think,” Tess replied gently.
Tell David how she felt...
“I can’t,” she whispered.
Tess got to her feet. “I’m here for you, whatever you decide. And now I think I’ll go and make coffee for you and tea for me,” her sister said and then called Scarlett’s name, asking her if she wanted milk and cookies.
Scarlett was on her feet in a microsecond and Annie continued to cradle Charlie after they left the room. Alone, with her thoughts and the sleepy baby in her arms, Annie’s sense of longing became acute.
Particularly when David came into the room a few minutes later. Of course, he’d seen her hold a baby before. Scarlett had been a little over six months old when she’d arrived at the ranch. But something had changed between them in the last twenty-four hours; their regard for one another, their entire relationship, had undergone some sort of dramatic shift. Her announcement that she was quitting had clearly made things difficult and tense between them.
“I remember when Jasper was born,” he said and came farther into the room, standing behind the sofa. “I spent the first few months terrified I was going to drop him, or forget to feed him.” He smiled a little and looked at the baby, then returned his gaze to hers. “I’d relaxed a bit by the time Scarlett came along. Jayne was way more relaxed about the whole thing. Mothering instinct, maybe,” he said and then chuckled. “Or does that make me sound like a sexist jerk?”
Annie couldn’t help herself and smiled in return. He had a sexy laugh and she had never been immune. “Not really. I understand what you mean.”
“Jayne was a good mom,” he said softly. “You will be, too,” he added. “I mean, when you...”
“When I finally get to have a child of my own?”
He immediately looked uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that. I only meant—”
“It’s okay,” she said and sighed. “I’m being overly sensitive. Forget about it.”
“He’s a cute kid,” he said and sat down in the sofa opposite.
“All babies are cute.”
He didn’t disagree. Instead, he sat back in the chair, watching her. “So, this fireman,” he said suddenly and unexpectedly. “Does he want kids?”
Annie met his gaze. “Yes,” she replied and glanced briefly toward the door. “Is Jasper with Mitch?”
He nodded. “Mitch is showing him the new foal that was born last night.” He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “So...yeah...about this fireman...has he asked you to marry him?”
Annie gaped at him. “Ah...no. We’ve never met, remember.”
“But you’ve talked about marriage?”
She was surprised by his questions and didn’t bother to hide the fact. “In a vague kind of way,” she replied, her cheeks burning beneath his glittering gaze. “You know, the way people generally talk about marriage and relationships.”
“We’ve lived together for four years and the subject of marriage has never come up.”
Annie bit back the startled gasp that rose in her throat. “I don’t know what –”
“You’ve never said you wanted to get married,” he remarked, still tapping his fingers.
“Wanting marriage and babies isn’t exactly the kind of conversation someone has with their employer.”
He stopped tapping, looking serious through his glasses. “I’ve always thought we were friends.”
Annie almost laughed out loud. If she told him how much she wanted him out of the employer-zone and into the lover-zone, he’d run a mile.
“We are, David,” she said quietly and firmly. “So, please, be my friend. Just support my decision.”
As painful as it was, Annie knew leaving was the right thing to do.
For all their sakes.
* * *
Sunday night was game night – his sister usually dropped by, bringing Ivan, her face painting gear and treats for the kids. David always enjoyed the family get-togethers, particularly when Mittie was home. He and Ivan would watch sport on the big TV in the rumpus room, while their grandmother made snacks and his sister painted the kid’s faces. And then they would all sit around the table in the kitchen, eat copious amounts of popcorn and play cards or Scrabble. It was tradition. Most times, Annie would join in, unless she was visiting Tess. But she was painfully absent that evening. And neither Jasper or Scarlett were in their usual playful mood.
“What’s with the gloomy faces?” Ivan asked both kids as he peered over his cards.
Jasper shrugged and David winced when he saw the unhappiness in his son’s face when he spoke. “Annie’s going away.”
“Daddy,” Scarlett said once her brother’s words were out. “Doesn’t Annie like us anymore?”
David’s chest tightened and he gently touched his daughter’s cheek. “Of course she does, honey.”
“It’ll be hard to replace that girl,” Ivan said and raised a brow.
“Impossible,” Leah added.