by Helen Lacey
“I thought we were playing cards,” David said, eager to shift the somber mood and change the subject. He’d spent the better part of two days thinking about Annie – it was time he got his mind on other things.
Scarlett lasted another half an hour before her eyes began to droop and David hauled her into his arms and made a quick stop at the bathroom to remove the face paint before he changed her into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. She was more restless than usual and took about ten minutes to settle her with a night light and a page from her favorite story book.
“Daddy,” she said as he kissed her forehead. “You’ll never leave us, will you?”
They were some of the most painful words he had ever heard and his already tight chest constricted even further. His children had already lost so much. “No,” he assured her. “I’ll never leave you or Jasper.”
Her expression relaxed and she closed her sleepy eyes. “I love you, Daddy.”
David could barely swallow the emotion burning his throat. “I love you too, honey. Goodnight, and sweet dreams.”
He left the door ajar, quickly heading down the hall and discovered Jasper brushing his teeth in the bathroom.
“Everything okay?”
His son nodded and plopped his toothbrush in the cup. “I’m not a baby,” he announced. “I don’t need tucking in.”
“I know,” David assured him. “I thought you might want to talk about things.”
Jasper shook his head. “I was thinking I could save up my allowance,” he said, so matter-of-factly as they walked down the hallway and into his son’s room. “And give it to Annie. She might stay if she got more money for looking after us.”
David stilled, his insides crunching, his heart aching for his child who was trying to find logic amidst his confusion. He waited until Jasper was in bed before he responded. “It’s not about money. It’s about grown-up things. And we’ll all be fine, I promise.”
He didn’t look as reassured as his sister, but he nodded. “Goodnight, Dad.”
David said goodnight and left the room, making his way back to the kitchen. He glanced toward the door that led to Annie’s rooms. Out of bounds. Damn, he really wanted to talk to her, to try and make her see what her leaving was doing to his children. But he wasn’t about to lay on a guilt trip. He hesitated for a second and then returned to the kitchen. Coffee was brewing and the cards were packed away, and other than his kids, the three people he loved most in the world were all staring at him as he entered the room.
He raised his hands. “I don’t want a lecture, okay. I know my kids are hurting.”
“Isn’t there something you can do?” Leah implored.
David glanced at Mittie and saw the suggestion in his grandmother’s eyes. “Nothing that Annie would agree to,” he said quietly. “Or that I’m prepared to do.”
“What does that mean?” his sister shot back.
David ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing. How about we call it a night?”
They all agreed and within minutes Leah and their dad left and Mittie headed to her room. David remained where he was, leaning against the counter top, dreading the headache that was pounding at his temples. He pulled off his glasses, closed his eyes and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose.
“Are you okay?”
He opened his eyes and spotted Annie by the doorway. She wore baggy pink sweats he’d probably seen countless times, but he couldn’t remember ever thinking how naturally beautiful she looked with her lovely hair down around her shoulders.
“Headache,” he replied.
She moved into the kitchen, opened the pantry and withdrew the small locked medicine box from the top shelf. Seconds later she placed aspirin and a glass of water in front of him.
“Be a good boy and take the medicine,” she said, and waited until he took the pills.
He did as she instructed. “You missed family night,” he remarked, finishing off the water.
“I had things to do.”
“Skyping with the fireman?”
Her eyes widened and he figured she had every reason to look stunned by his question – because he had just startled himself. And he knew, without a doubt, that he sounded exactly as he felt – jealous through to the marrow in his bones.
“If you must know,” she replied, “I was talking to my dad and stepmom.”
He was stupidly relieved and furious with himself. “I like your parents.”
“They like you, too. Well,” she said and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. “Goodnight.”
David watched her leave, inhaled the familiar scent of her fragrance that always seemed to linger in the air and waited a few minutes before heading to his room. He checked on the kids, noticing that Scarlett was still restless and tossing in her bed. He grabbed the baby monitor he kept on hand for nights when the kids were poorly and walked into the master suite.
He kicked off his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed, setting up the monitor on the bedside table, in case he needed to get up in the middle of the night. The small framed photo of Jayne caught his attention. Loving her sometimes seemed like it happened in another lifetime.
A familiar ache pressed between his ribs and he looked at the wedding band on his left hand. He twirled the ring with his thumb and forefinger. It was looser than he remembered.
Memories seeped through him. And regrets. And grief. For so long he’d felt it hovering like a shadow. Afraid to remember. Afraid to forget. Wondering if he’d ever feel whole again.
David slipped the ring off, brought it to his lips for a moment, and then placed it in the drawer.
He wasn’t sure why—but knew it was time.
Chapter Five
On Wednesday morning, Annie rounded up the kids, got them dressed and ready for the day, and then headed into town to take Jasper to school. He’d gotten passed the hugging stage about a year ago, preferring to high-five her at the school gate. But for the past couple of days, he’d clung to her, oblivious to his school friends walking past. Annie hugged him tightly, smoothing her hand over his hair, telling him she loved him.
“I saved my allowance,” he said as she was crouched down in front of him, straightening his backpack. “You can have it if you want.”
Annie looked at his serious expression. “Why would you want to give me your allowance...?” Her words trailed off and he shrugged in a way that was so much like David that her heart rolled over.
“I know Dad said it wasn’t about money, but you know my friend Simon—well, his mom has a job at the library and she stayed there when she got more money—”
Annie squeezed his small shoulders gently, pain and guilt radiating through her entire body. “I don’t look after you and Scarlett because of money,” she assured him. “I do it because I love you both, very much. And just because I’m leaving, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you both, or that you’ve done anything wrong.”
He didn’t look convinced or reassured and her heart ached, watching him enter the building, waving to him with Scarlett before heading back to the car.
She drove into town, listening to Scarlett chatting in the back. The youngest McCall attended nursery school, but David had elected to keep her home for the day, since she’d had a few restless nights, waking up several times and calling out.
Annie knew why. Both kids were naturally upset by her leaving, but while Jasper had gone quiet and brooding, Scarlett’s emotions weren’t as easily hidden.
Annie had a sketching class at the art gallery that morning and set Scarlett up beside her with paper and crayons. Once the class was done, she didn’t linger with her classmates as she might normally do. They headed to the bakery for coffee, a mini milkshake for Scarlett and some pastries. Then they walked to David’s office so that Scarlett could show off her artistic masterpiece to her father.
&nbs
p; David’s assistant, Kendra, was sitting at her desk in reception and greeted them warmly. David’s door was open, but he was on a call, so Kendra asked them to wait with her. Scarlett raced around the desk to proudly show her art piece. Annie gave Kendra one of the take-out coffees and they chatted for a few minutes before David hung up the phone and called them into his office.
He was at the door when they entered and Scarlett rushed toward him, waving her painting.
“Daddy, look what I did!”
He hauled his daughter into his arms, looking incredibly sexy in a dark gray trousers, pale gray shirt and blue-patterned tie. She’d given him the tie for Christmas the year before and the gift had become something of a long-running joke between them, as she’d bought him one every Christmas since she’d been at the ranch. The first year had been a no-brainer, because she’d only been working for him for a few months and didn’t know him well enough to give him anything more significant. But as one year merged into another, she did get to know him, and selected gifts that were meaningful and more personal...but she always added a tie, the funnier, the better. The one he now wore had flying blue elephants on it and always made her smile.
He looked up and met her gaze. “Hey, you look nice.”
She glanced down at her green floral dress, cowboy boots and denim jacket. It was one of her favorite outfits. “Thank you.” She passed him the take-out coffee and he took a sip. “We thought we’d stop by for a visit. I hope we’re not interrupting?”
He quickly shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Daddy,” Scarlett said and kissed his cheek. “Guess what’s in the bag?”
He glanced at the brown paper bag in Annie’s hand. “I’m thinking my favorite bagel?”
“Nope,” Scarlett said and giggled. “It’s smaller.” She made a tiny circle with her fingers.
David made a show of thinking extra hard. “Hmm... My favorite brownie?”
She giggled again. “No, Daddy! Keep guessing.”
Annie’s heart rolled over at the affection between the two of them. Scarlett was such a delightful child and so easy to love.
Annie listened as David kept guessing and then Scarlett laughed delightedly. “It’s a cupcake!” she announced.
“My other favorite,” he said and held his hand out for the bag.
Annie passed it to him and as their fingers touched; a shot of awareness raced up her arm. He jerked back, too, as though he’d been stung.
Could he be as affected as she was?
No. Impossible. It was crazy to even think it. She couldn’t count the number of times they’d accidently touched over the years, and even though she’d always experienced a jolt of electricity, David had never appeared to register the event on his radar.
But this was different. And he looked as surprised as she felt.
He shook his shoulders and stepped back, allowing Scarlett to open the bag. “Looks good,” he said and lowered Scarlett to the floor. “Thank you, ladies,” he said and grinned.
Scarlett took to his desk and jumped up in his seat to play “office,” as she often did. “I’ll take her home after this visit and see if I can get her down for a nap. She hasn’t had nearly enough sleep this week.”
“She’s not the only one,” he said pointedly and then sighed. “But she looks happier than she did last night.”
Annie agreed, as she’d gotten up twice during the night to comfort Scarlett during her restless dreams. So had David.
“Jasper offered me his allowance,” she said and quietly explained about the conversation. “He’s taking it so hard.”
“Naturally,” David said. “He adores you. They both do.”
Annie looked at him, her gaze honing in, and then noticing something different about his left hand. “You’re not wearing your wedding ring?”
He glanced. “No, I’m not,” he said and shrugged a little.
Her heart stupidly raced. “Why...now? I mean, after so long?”
“I think I kept it on so I could feel...normal,” he said and shrugged again. “I don’t know—like it would all seem too real without it. Stupid, I guess. Jayne’s been gone for over four years. Some days it feels like an eternity and others, like it was yesterday.”
“That’s normal, I imagine, when you suffer such a significant loss.”
He nodded. “Maybe. She would have liked you, you know. She’d approve of the way you put me in my place.”
Annie grinned. “Did you need putting in your place back then?”
“Actually,” he said quietly, “Jayne and I rarely had any disagreements. Arguing wasn’t her style.”
“Sounds like the perfect match.”
“Perfect?” His gave a cynical grin. “Is there such a thing? Is that what you imagine you’ll have with your fireman?”
Something about his tone made her lips quirk with a bit of a smile. “I don’t know. He seems nice. Time will tell, I suppose.”
“You should invite him here,” he suggested. “To assess him on your own turf. Do a list of pros and cons.”
Annie’s eyes widened. “Hey, maybe I should do a flow chart, too,” she remarked and shot one arched brow up. “And rate his attributes from one to ten.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” he replied, suddenly scowling, the wrinkle between his brows deepening. “At least you’d know what you’re getting into.”
Annie laughed and waved her arm around the room. “You spend way too much time in here, David, with your numbers and spreadsheets. You’ve actually started believing that people are like some mathematic equation.”
Her cell phone pinged with a text. She quickly checked the message and smiled.
“The boyfriend?”
She raised a brow. “Nope. My sister.”
He looked...relieved.
Don’t be foolish... Why would he really care?
“By the way,” he said. “I heard back from the employment agency and have two interviews lined up for tomorrow. I thought I’d do them at the house, you know, to get a better sense of the right fit. I’d appreciate it if you would sit in on the interviews, just so I can get a second opinion.”
Annie really didn’t want to be a part of the hiring process, but she understood his motives. “Sure. I have to say, you’ve become very accepting of my decision all of a sudden.”
He moved a little closer, out of earshot of Scarlett. “Would there be any point in my trying to convince you to stay?”
She shook her head, noticing how dark his green eyes looked. “No.”
His gaze had never seemed more intense. “I’ll pick Jasper up from school,” he said. “To save you another trip into town. And since I have a client arriving in about ten minutes, I really should get back to work.”
Annie ignored the fluttering in her belly and quickly collected Scarlett. Once they were back in her car and on the way home, she relaxed fractionally, and thought about why David had suddenly decided to take off his wedding ring. And about why he was being so cordial and accepting of her departure all of a sudden. And why every time any mention of Byron came up in conversation, he acted a lot like he was...well...jealous.
Don’t be absurd.
He’s just mad because you’re leaving and thinks Byron is to blame.
When she arrived back at the ranch, Annie immediately put Scarlett down for a nap, then headed to her own room, where she spent the next hour or so thinking about starting to sort and pack her clothes and then decided she didn’t have the energy. So she puttered around the house, putting away some of the kids’ toys until Scarlett woke from her nap.
David arrived home with Jasper just after four o’clock and she quickly took over, settling the boy with his reading homework, and then once he was done, she took both kids to the stables to check on the kittens.
Dinner was odd—almost strained. Mittie had
gone into town for a canasta game with friends, and it was only the four of them, eating the chicken casserole Annie had whipped up that morning. Scarlett was clingy, hanging by her side for most of the meal. Jasper was quiet, David even quieter. When they were finished, she got the kids into their bath, changed into pajamas and settled in front of the television for a while before bedtime.
When she returned to the kitchen she found David loading the dishwasher, a frown marring his handsome face.
“Headache back?” she asked.
He looked up. “No. Just thinking.”
In jeans and a T-shirt, he looked wholly masculine, and Annie’s belly did its usual dive. “I can finish up here if you like?”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. I was thinking you could take the night off. I promised Jasper I’d play a video game with him before bedtime. I’ll get Scarlett settled once I’m done here.”
Irrationally, Annie experienced an acute sense of exclusion. Which was stupid, because David was their father and he got the final say. “Okay, sure. I’ve got things to do anyway.”
“Texting the fireman?”
And there it was. The snarky tone that seemed to have become the theme whenever Byron came up in conversation. “Maybe.”
“Enjoy your evening,” he said flatly as he closed the dishwasher and then strode from the room without another word.
* * *
“You know, David’s being more unbearable than usual at the moment,” Leah said.
Annie didn’t disagree.
It was after ten the following morning and she was in the kitchen with Leah and Mittie, chatting about the older woman’s upcoming Alaskan tour. Leah was several years younger than her brother and a talented artist, as well. She was also much more naturally outgoing than he was—easier to warm up to, which was why Annie had befriended her so quickly when they met.
Annie shrugged and took the coffee cup Mittie passed her and replied to Leah. “I guess he’s got things on his mind.”
“He’s got you on his mind,” Mittie announced, grinning broadly.