The Nanny's Family Wish (The Culhanes 0f Cedar River Book 3)

by Helen Lacey

Annie almost spluttered her coffee across the table. “What?”

  “Nan,” Leah said and sighed. “Stop making things worse.”

  Annie looked at Leah and smiled. “Your grandmother is only—”

  “Stirring,” Leah said and raised both her brows. “We all know what David is like.”

  “Don’t we just,” Mittie said and chuckled. “I love my grandson, but he’s one of those men who are never comfortable talking about their feelings. Even when Jayne and Sandra died, he closed down a lot. For a while I was concerned he’d never get over it. But I think he has, even if he’s not ready to admit it. I don’t know why he doesn’t just beg you to stay.”

  Beg? Annie laughed out loud. “I can’t see that happening, can you? And anyway, it wouldn’t make any difference.”

  “Because of Byron?” Leah queried.

  Both women now knew about her online friendship with Byron. “Because,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “it’s time I moved on.”

  Mittie disappeared into the pantry and Leah spoke again.

  “My brother’s an idiot,” she said and harrumphed.

  Annie felt heat rise up her collarbone. “I don’t know what you—”

  “I know, Annie,” Leah said gently. “I know why you’re leaving.”

  The heat morphed into embarrassment and she sucked in a breath. How could she know? The only person who knew what was in her heart was her sister, and Tess would never betray her trust by saying anything. And heaven knew Annie had developed a tight lid on her feelings around the ranch. “I think you have the wrong idea. I just want to—”

  Leah came around the countertop and gently squeezed her shoulder and as she regarded the woman, Annie experienced an unwavering sense of understanding. Of kinship. Of sisterhood. But she wouldn’t show it. She couldn’t. It was too humiliating.

  “Annie?”

  David’s deep voice had them turning their gazes to the doorway. She wondered what he’d heard and then quickly got to her feet.

  “Our first appointment is here.”

  With a steady glance toward Leah, Annie left the kitchen and followed David into his large office. A woman who looked to be in her midforties, with hair pulled back tightly from her face and wearing a neat black pantsuit, was already seated. Annie shook her hand as David introduced them.

  Five minutes later, Annie knew she’d never allow the woman to watch over the kids. She was cold and uncompromising, mentioned nothing about having any affection for or continuing contact with her previous charges and was clearly a strict disciplinarian. The interview lasted about twenty minutes and Annie was just about prepared to stand up and tell the woman to get out when David ended the meeting and escorted the applicant to the front door, saying he’d get back to her by the end of the week. Once he returned to the office, Annie was standing by the window, arms crossed.

  “So, what did you think?” he asked and moved around the desk.

  Annie stared at him. “Of that woman? Very little.”

  His gaze narrowed. “That’s pretty harsh.”

  “She is completely unsuitable.”

  “Really?” His brows came up as he sat down in his chair, swiveled around and faced her. “Why?”

  She expelled a heavy breath. “She was...she was...cold. And unfeeling.”

  “Well, maybe that’s for the best. Maybe I’d be wiser to find someone the kids won’t get too attached to, so they don’t suffer so much when the person leaves.”

  It was a direct dig and they both knew it. She didn’t respond. Didn’t say a word.

  He looked at her, then laughed. “The truth hard to handle, Annie?”

  She ignored that he was laughing at her. “Look, they’re your kids and you can make any decision you want, but you asked me for my opinion and I’m giving it. That woman will make your life a living hell.”

  David’s mouth turned up slightly. “Unlike you, you mean?” he quipped as he shuffled a few papers on his desk.

  “Oh, so you want someone who says yes to everything?”

  “I want someone who’ll stay,” he replied tightly.

  It was a low blow, designed to make her feel bad—which it did. He was so wrapped up in his own world he really had no clue what it was doing to her. “See you later,” she said and turned to leave the room.

  “Hang around,” he said quickly. “Our next appointment will be here in a few minutes.”

  “I’ll come back.”

  “Or wait,” he said and looked up, motioning to one of the seats opposite. “And we could talk.”

  Her suspicions rose. “About what?”

  “The kids, of course.” He met her gaze head-on. “We both know they are struggling at the moment. Jasper’s closing off and Scarlett isn’t sleeping at night. I’m worried about my kids, Annie.”

  Her insides crunched up. “I know that. So am I.”

  “But not enough to reconsider, right?”

  “Did you really think I’d stay forever?” she asked quickly.

  He got to his feet in a microsecond. “I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “The truth is, I didn’t think. Things have been a certain way around here for so long I just got used to it.”

  “I became invisible, you mean?” she asked sharply.

  “That’s not what I mean,” he said, clearly exasperated.

  Well, he wasn’t the only one.

  “I’m not sure what changed for you,” he said, continuing the conversation. “But for some reason whenever I ask why you’re leaving, you make me feel as though I have done something wrong, and all I want to do is fix it.”

  Annie held on to her resolve. She wouldn’t fall apart. Wouldn’t crumble. Wouldn’t let him see how much she was hurting.

  “You can’t fix it,” she replied, adrenaline seeping through her veins. “I know you want things to stay the same, because this,” she said and waved an arm in an arc, “the way things are, is easy for you. You have it all under control. All your ducks in a row. However, I want a different life. And if you can’t see that,” she said, her voice rising with each word, “then you’re selfish as well as blind.”

  His gaze narrowed. “If your opinion of me is so low, I’m surprised you’ve hung around for the last four years. Frankly, I can’t believe you didn’t bail ages ago.”

  “Maybe I should have,” she said hotly, humiliation scorching her cheeks. “At least that way I wouldn’t love—” She stopped abruptly, realizing she was a word away from completely embarrassing herself.

  “You wouldn’t love?”

  “The kids,” she replied, her skin burning when she saw the way his brows rose up as he looked at her. “I wouldn’t love the kids as much as I do.”

  “And yet,” he reminded her. “You’re still leaving them. You’re leaving us!”

  “And the fact you continue to—”

  “Ah, guys,” a voice said from the doorway. “Your next appointment is here.”

  They both turned and spotted Leah standing there. David spoke quickly. “Of course, I’ll see her in.”

  “And would you guys stop arguing,” Leah said and shook her head. “We could hear you from the kitchen.”

  Annie crossed her arms. “Sorry.”

  “What’s going on with you two?” Leah said and frowned. “It’s like you can’t even bear to be in the same room as each other.”

  “We weren’t arguing,” David said quietly. “And even if we were, it wouldn’t be anyone’s business,” he said as he headed from the room.

  Leah made a face in Annie’s direction. “Phew, Annie, please reconsider leaving—I’m afraid my brother is going to go loco the day you walk out.”

  “He’ll get over it,” she said and shrugged. “And for the record, he was right, we weren’t arguing, we were simply having a discussion.”

  Leah grinne
d. “Yeah...sure you were. I have to get going, but call me if you need to talk,” she said and then added, “about anything.”

  Once Leah was gone, Annie lingered by the window, looking outside to where David had already greeted the next applicant. This one was young. Very young. And perky. And blond. With legs encased in leggings that seemed to go on forever.

  Okay, nothing wrong with leggings. Plenty of women wore them. She wore them all the time!

  Although, perhaps not for a job interview with a sexy single dad.

  Her name, Annie discovered a couple of minutes later once they were all seated in the office, was Becca. She was twenty years old and had recently finished studying fashion design at the technical college in Rapid City. She loved kids, of course, and would like nothing more than to look after the children, since she’d had so much experience babysitting during her high school years.

  “I exercise every day, and I could take the kids on power walks, so we’d have a lot of fun together,” the younger woman said. “And it would be a healthy activity,” she added with so much exuberance that Annie rolled her eyes and then glanced toward David, immediately noticing that he was watching her. She turned her gaze to the floor, ignoring the heat in her own cheeks and the tiny smile on his mouth. Because he clearly knew she was unimpressed with Becca’s credentials. Or lack thereof!

  By the time the post-teen was finished talking about herself, another ten minutes had passed. Once David escorted her out, promising to be in touch, Annie stalked around the room, arms crossed, irritation rising with every breath she took. By the time he returned, she was rolling her eyes.

  “Seriously?” she said to him before he’d barely entered the room.

  “What?” he said.

  “They were the best candidates?”

  “Of the recommendations I could get on short notice? I thought so.”

  She frowned. “Then you need to broaden your search. Maybe even look farther than this town.”

  “Sure,” he said easily.

  Too easily.

  “Are you saying that simply to get me off your back?”

  One brow rose and his mouth curled at the corners. “I didn’t realize you were on my back.”

  The innuendo hung in the air between them and she colored hotly. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I could ask you the same thing. Although I think we both know this sudden infatuation with the fireman is the real reason you are –”

  “Do you want to know the real reason?” she asked hotly, cutting him off. “And it’s one that hasn’t got anything to do with me wanting my own life, or Byron, or anything else.”

  His gaze locked with hers. “Please...enlighten me.”

  Annie pushed back her shoulders and expelled a long breath. “It’s because it’s just too hard to be around you anymore!”

  She stalked past him and left the room, her chest so tight her ribs ached. She raced down the hall and headed for her rooms, slammed the door and flopped onto the couch, every part of her hurting.

  She was on the verge of letting the tears flow when there was a sharp rap on her door. She got to her feet, rubbed her hand over her face and walked across the room, only to find David standing on the other side of the door.

  Annie sucked in a breath and stared at him.

  “What do you want?” If she sounded rude, she didn’t care. But she wasn’t in the mood for an argument or a rehash of the very obvious tension burning between them.

  “To talk.” He said and then sighed. “To apologize.”

  Annie turned on her heel and walked further into the room. She stood by the couch and faced him, hands on her hips.

  “So, talk.”

  “I’m sorry, okay?” he said quietly and moved across the room, standing a few feet from her. “I shouldn’t have made that remark about your personal life. And I shouldn’t have—”

  “Set up two interviews with people clearly unfit for the role of looking after your children because you wanted to make me feel guilty for leaving?” Annie was so mad and so hurt, her chest heaved. “Does that about cover it?”

  He took a breath, nodding a little. “Like I said, I’m sorry.”

  Annie glared at him, noticing that he looked tired, as though he hadn’t slept much. She shouldn’t have cared that he was probably having sleepless nights thinking about who would watch over his children once she was gone, but she did. “Stop making this hard for me.”

  “I can’t,” he admitted.

  “Why?” she asked, surprised by his candor.

  “Because I don’t want you to go.”

  “Why, David? Because I make your life easier?” she reminded him.

  He shook his head, and she could see the conflicting emotion in his expression and realized, maybe for the first time, that there was more to this than his need for an orderly life. “It doesn’t feel easy at the moment. It feels like....”

  She suddenly became aware that he was in front of her, his chest heaving, staring at her in a way that put every sense she possessed on red alert. Somehow, something had changed in their relationship over the previous days and the man standing in front of her—watching her with such burning intensity—was not the David she was used to. A pulse throbbed in his cheek, his eyes were dark and he looked completely out of sorts, as though he was searching for what to say, what to do. He looked as though he was hanging on by a thread.

  She smiled, foolishly trying to make things easier for him. Her heart hammered so loud she was certain he could hear it. Certain he’d know what she was feeling, that he could see the longing in her eyes. For four years she’d hidden it, determined he would never know the truth—that she wanted him so much. Because he didn’t want her that way. He never looked at her with desire.

  Until now.

  “It feels like...what?” she whispered, her heart pounding, her legs weakening.

  And then, just as in her secret dreams, his hand reached out and he gently cupped her nape, drawing her close.

  “It feels like I am out of control,” he said, his voice raw.

  So was she, in that moment. The searing heat from his fingertips warmed her entire body. Of course, they had been physically close many times—like when he was teaching her to ride a horse, or when they were helping the children with their homework or a new project or even when they were up late washing dishes in the kitchen, which they often did together.

  But this was different. This was pure and unadulterated intimacy. The kind she’d never expected to experience with him.

  “Annie...”

  He said her name so softly, almost as though he was saying it against his will and she swallowed hard, noticing everything about him in that moment—the way his green eyes had suddenly darkened, the tiny scar on his left temple, the way his mouth curled up a little.

  He grasped her chin gently, tilted her head upward and gazed at her with such heat her insides quivered as she realized, without a shred of doubt, that he was going to kiss her.

  * * *

  This is so crazy...

  David said the words to himself over and over, repeating them like a chant from the moment he’d crossed the threshold into Annie’s room. Her domain. Her world. A place he didn’t belong. How could he? She worked for him and it was his responsibility to maintain the professionalism between them. But he hadn’t expected to feel so inexplicably drawn to her. He hadn’t expected the building awareness and attraction he had for her to take hold so hard.

  He hadn’t expected to suddenly want to kiss her so badly.

  Not suddenly. That was a lie. All week it had messed with his good sense, making him think about her when he should have been doing a dozen other things. And now, as he felt her lips touch his, David was at the mercy of the reckless attraction that he’d fought so hard to ignore.

  She sighed, then pressed her lips aga
inst his and David instinctively moved closer, deepening the kiss. Her mouth opened and he let her take the lead. Her tongue moved between their lips, winding around his, awakening feelings he’d suppressed for a long time—forever, he’d thought. Until now. Every shred of defense he’d put up over the years, every sermon he’d silently preached to himself about boundaries, suddenly and spectacularly disappeared. Her mouth, her breath, the sweet sensation of her tongue against his own—nothing had prepared him for the rush of desire it created and the way his body reacted.

  David prided himself on always being in control, but beneath the softness of Annie’s mouth, every inch of his control slipped away, and he was completely at her mercy. Instinct tormented him and he fought against the need to press closer, to feel her lovely curves against him, to plunge his tongue deeper into her mouth.

  Holy freaking hell!

  David wrenched himself free, breathing so hard he thought he might pass out. She looked no better as she took a couple of steps backward and stared at him, her chest rising and falling so rapidly he had to pull on every ounce of self-control he had left to not look at it. He wasn’t that guy. He’d never been that guy. He respected women. He respected Annie. And he had too much self-respect to overstep acceptable boundaries.

  “Annie.” He said her name, hating the way he sounded like he couldn’t quite get enough air into his lungs. “I’m really... I don’t know what happened then... I’m so...”

  “You kissed me,” she said bluntly, trying to catch her breath. “I kissed you back. That’s what happened.”

  Heat crawled up his neck. “I’m sorry, Annie, that was way out of bounds. I didn’t come in here to—”

  “Forget it,” she said and waved a hand casually. But David wasn’t fooled. She was as wound up by the events of the last sixty seconds as he was. “Let’s just...let’s just not overanalyze this. Okay?”

  David’s insides twitched. Yeah, he would forget it. That was the sensible thing to do. But he didn’t believe she was so easily motivated to ignore the heat between them, or the fact that he’d practically kissed her senseless. “Okay. Uh...” He wasn’t sure what to say, since she seemed to want him gone. “I’ll talk to you later?”