by Helen Lacey
Like he did, she suspected. There was something open and earnest about Byron. He wasn’t afraid to talk about feelings. On paper he was the perfect guy. The only thing was, Annie wasn’t sure he was the perfect guy for her.
* * *
“Tell me, how was the interview?” her sister asked on Tuesday afternoon when she called.
Annie held the cell close to her ear and dropped into the sofa. “It was good. I’ll know more next week. How’s Charlie?”
“Perfect,” Tess said. “Don’t forget the christening on Saturday.”
“Of course I won’t. I’m looking forward to it. I bought a new dress.”
Her sister was quiet for a moment, and then sighed. “Are you really okay?”
Annie swallowed hard. “I miss the kids a lot,” she admitted, her insides crunching.
“I’m sure they miss you, too.”
The ache in her chest amplified. For days she’d had a pain deep down, and knew it was grief. She missed Scarlett and Jasper so much it hurt. “I feel like I’ve abandoned them,” she said, admitting it to herself and her sister for the first time. “And like a piece of my heart is missing.”
“You love them,” Tess reminded her. “It’s natural you’d feel this way. Do you regret turning down David’s proposal?”
“No,” she replied quickly. David didn’t love her. Sure, she believed he cared, and they had become friends over the years—but that was all. And it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. “I don’t want that kind of marriage. I need more than that, Tess. You know David doesn’t love me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” she replied, her heart heavy. “And he never will.”
Once she ended the call with her sister, Annie took a shower and changed into her favorite jeans, a bright silky blouse and her boots. She was meeting Leah for a drink at the bar in the hotel that evening and was about thirty seconds into their conversation when she asked about the kids.
“They’re fine,” her friend said and sighed. “But they miss you. We all miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“David’s unbearable at the moment,” Leah said and grinned as she sipped her pineapple daiquiri. “Worse than we expected. My brother is an idiot.”
Annie wasn’t going to disagree, but also didn’t want Leah imagining something was going on between them. Because it wasn’t. One brief kiss and a marriage proposal aside, she and David were not any kind of thing.
“He likes his life in order, not chaos,” she reminded Leah. “Once he gets a new routine it will be situation normal.”
“He’s in love with you, Annie,” Leah said bluntly. “Everyone can see that. I mean, everyone but my stupid brother.”
Her heart almost stopped. “He’s not and I don’t –”
“And you’re in love with him, too,” the other woman said, gentler now.
“I’m not,” she denied swiftly. “And I hope you won’t say anything to—”
“Of course, I won’t,” Leah said and smiled gently. “You’re my friend and I want to see you happy. If he’s too blind to see how wonderful you are, then he doesn’t deserve you. But,” she added and winked, “if he does come to his senses, promise me you’ll consider it, okay? You’re my friend and even though I don’t understand why you’d want to be with a stick-in-the-mud like my big brother, if he does manage to work it out, there’s nothing I’d like more than to call you my sister-in-law.”
Annie’s throat burned with emotion and being with Leah made her miss the McCalls more than she already did.
Declining a second drink, she hugged Leah goodbye around seven o’clock, saying she’d see her at the christening on the weekend.
Early on Thursday morning Annie showered and changed into fresh jeans and a shirt, grabbed her jacket and headed downstairs. The foyer was busy and she waved to a couple of people she knew as she headed out into the morning sunshine and walked down the street. The sidewalk was spotted with people and she made eye contact with a few she recognized and headed for the bakery down the block. And of course, after almost six days of not seeing David, he was the first person she saw when she entered the store. He was sitting at one of the tables, head down, glasses perched on his nose, his concentration taken by the laptop on the table. He wore a suit, pale blue shirt and one of the ties she’d gifted him and looked utterly gorgeous. He had one hand loosely around a take-out coffee cup and the remnants of some kind of pastry on a plate he’d pushed aside. His left hand—the one without the wedding ring. She wondered for a moment about why he’d suddenly taken the band off. Perhaps to make a point? That he was available. That he was ready to get married again. In body, perhaps. But not his heart. Leah was wrong. He didn’t love her. Not the way she needed to be loved. He liked her. He respected her. And yeah, he cared. But not enough—and not the way she needed him to.
Annie considered bailing, but she knew she couldn’t avoid him. Cedar River was a small town and chances were, she’d run into him occasionally. The two jobs she’d applied for were in Rapid City – which would be better. It was close enough that she could visit Tess, but far enough away that she wouldn’t see David on every street corner. Or bakery.
She considered being a coward for about ten seconds and then spoke. “Hello, David.”
His head jerked up and he stared at her, looking way too sexy in his dark-framed glasses and slightly tousled hair. “Annie. Hi.”
She gripped the back of the chair. “How are the kids?”
“Fine,” he replied and straightened up the papers in front of him. “They miss you.”
Of course he would say that. Anything to make her feel bad. “I miss them, too. How’s the new nanny working out?”
“Very efficiently,” he said quietly. “How do you like staying at the hotel?”
She shrugged a little. “It’s okay.”
“I’m surprised you’re not staying with Tess.”
“She asked,” Annie said and motioned to the chair. “But I wanted some time alone.”
He nodded, like he understood. “Would you like to join me?”
“No,” she said quickly and realized how desperate she sounded, then shook her head. “I mean, I don’t want to disturb you if you’re working.”
“I’m not,” he said, closed the laptop and got to his feet. “I’ll get your coffee. Decaf hazelnut latte with extra foam, correct?”
He actually knew what coffee she liked?
Maybe he has been paying attention...
When he returned to the table he had a take-out cup in one hand and a small brown bag in the other. He passed her both items and sat down.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Your favorite pastry.”
Annie looked inside the bag and spotted a peach Danish, ignoring the way her insides fluttered a little. “Thank you. Although I’ve already had breakfast.”
“What about dinner?”
She stared at him, eyes widening. “Dinner?”
“Tomorrow night,” he replied, his gaze unwavering.
“I don’t think I should see the children just yet,” she said and swallowed hard. “It’s probably too soon and they will only get confused and—”
“Child-free,” he said, cutting her off. “Just you and me.”
Annie straightened her already straight back. He could mean only one thing, right? “Um...you mean, like a date?”
“Exactly like a date.” He held her gaze.
David wanted to take her on a date? Shock vibrated through her and she stared at him. “I’m not quite sure what to say.”
“Yes would be a starting point.”
She hesitated, thinking about all the reasons why she shouldn’t. About her reasons for leaving. About her plans for a life post-David. About Byron. About everything. And then caved. “Sure.”
“I’ll pi
ck you up at the hotel at six thirty,” he said and quickly placed the laptop into his satchel and cleared away the cup and plate. “See you tomorrow,” he said with a smile, and left without another word.
Annie remained where she was for a while, sipping her latte, thinking about what she’d just agreed to and wondering if she hadn’t completely lost her mind. She had a date with David. Perhaps he wanted to talk about the kids. Or maybe the new nanny wasn’t working out and he wanted her thoughts. Whatever his reasons, it couldn’t be a real date.
Because thinking it was would only lead to her heart breaking more than it already was.
* * *
David headed to the kitchen late on Friday afternoon and spotted Leah standing behind the countertop, adding the final touches to the christening cake. Apparently, Tess had heartily approved of the sample. He watched as she decorated the top of the blue and white concoction while Scarlett played with a few candied flowers he suspected were supposed to be for decoration. Leah looked up and smiled when he entered the room.
“You look nice,” she said and raised a brow. “Hot date?”
He ignored the heat settling under his collar. “Maybe. We’ll see.”
Leah’s brows shot up. “Annie?”
He shrugged, staying noncommittal. “It’s just dinner.”
She nodded. “Gotta start somewhere.”
“Thanks for watching the kids.”
“My pleasure,” she said and grinned. “At least one of us is getting out.”
“I thought you’d sworn off dating after the last debacle with what’s-his-name?” he queried and laughed softly, thinking that reminding Leah about her no-good ex probably wasn’t his smartest move.
“I have,” she replied. “Love sucks. But a date every now and then would be okay. Except I’d have to deal with the inevitable groping at the end of the evening by some oversexed Neanderthal.”
He looked at his sister, reading between the lines of her words. Leah was essentially a cheerful person, but he knew her last breakup had been messy and left her having serious trust issues. “There’s someone special out there for you, Leah.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “And for you?”
“Time will tell, I guess.”
“Don’t wait too long to make your move,” Leah said and winked. “Someone else might be waiting in the wings to snatch she-who-we-don’t-dare-mention up.”
The heat under his collar intensified and he wondered if Leah knew something he didn’t. “You mean the fireman?”
Leah nodded fractionally. “She’s not going to wait forever for you to come to your senses.”
“Is that what she’s doing?” he asked, suddenly hopeful. The truth was, the last week had been crappy and he knew it was because he missed Annie so much. He missed her laughter around the house, he missed the soft sound of her voice as she spoke to his children, he missed the scent of her perfume lingering throughout the house long after she returned to her room each evening. And he missed the way she made him feel. Seeing her at the bakery had only confirmed what he already knew—and made a mockery of what he’d made himself believe for the past four years. That he didn’t see her as simply the nanny. He saw her as a woman. A woman he was attracted to. A woman he didn’t want to see in the arms of another man.
But he wasn’t ready to pin a name on his emotions. However, the more he thought about marriage, the more he realized it was the right thing. The only thing. He could make it work.
“Annie’s my friend, David. I care about her.”
“I care about her, too,” he said.
“I know,” Leah supplied. “The point is, how much.”
David’s gut sank. It was a good question. Enough to marry her? Enough to be a caring, devoted husband? Enough to give her what she wanted – a family of her own? He hoped he was ready for that. All he knew is that he didn’t want to give up without a fight.
Leah shooed him from the kitchen. “Go. I’ll look after the kids. And David,” she added as he went to leave. “Try to be charming.”
He scowled. “I’m always charming.”
She laughed. “I mean, don’t be an uptight know-it-all. Just, I don’t know...chill out. Relax a little.”
He headed into town and found a parking space near the hotel entrance. It was just before six thirty when he spotted Annie standing in the hotel foyer, looking so beautiful in a midlength black dress and heeled black boots that he almost buckled at the knees. Her hair was down and fell across her shoulders. She half smiled when she saw him and walked across the foyer, her hips swaying.
“You look lovely,” he said and touched her elbow, frazzled by the shot of electricity that raced up his arm when his skin connected with hers. “Nice dress.”
“Thank you. Where are we going?”
“The honky-tonk place just out of town. Unless you’d prefer to stay here?”
“No,” she replied. “I’ve never been there and I hear they do barbecue ribs to die for.”
David grinned. “I’ve heard the same thing.”
She looked at him curiously. “You’ve never been there, either?”
David’s gaze lingered on her. “Nope.”
She waited until their eyes met before replying. “I thought you might have taken what’s-her-name.”
David was halfway to opening the passenger door and looked at her. “Rachel? We broke up,” he reminded her.
She nodded. “Mmmm.”
“She was a vegan.”
“She had nice legs,” Annie said as she got into the BMW.
David held the door ajar and chuckled “I don’t remember. Besides, legs aren’t really my thing.”
“No?” Her brows shot up. “What’s your thing?”
Heat tugged at his collar. Be damned if it didn’t feel as though she was flirting. “I’ll be sure to tell you sometime,” David said as he closed the door and then moved around to the driver’s side. Once he was in the car and buckled up, he started the ignition and placed both hands on the steering wheel. “You know, you’re very sexy when you flirt.”
“I’m not flirting,” she denied and made a scoffing sound.
“Sure you are. And incidentally, I’m not complaining. Leah told me not to be a bore tonight, in not so many words.”
Her head jerked sideways. “You told your sister we were going out?”
He nodded. “Was I not supposed to?”
“No, I mean...yes,” she said quickly. “I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. What did she say?”
“Not to be myself. Try to be charming.”
Annie laughed. “Why do you need to be charming?”
“To fight off the competition.”
“What?”
“My sister told me your fireman is getting serious,” he said and turned the vehicle onto the highway. “Is that true?”
“He wants to meet.”
David sucked in a breath. “Actually, I’m surprised you haven’t already headed to Texas.”
She was silent for a moment. “I’m still deciding. And what do you mean about the competition? Why would it matter to you? I thought you asked me out so we could talk about the kids.”
“Nope.”
He heard her hard swallow. “Then what?’
“Why does a man normally ask a woman out to dinner?” he challenged.
“So they can get to know one another,” she replied.
“Exactly,” David said.
“But we already know each other,” she reminded him.
David glanced at her and then returned his eyes to the darkened road ahead. “We have a working relationship. And we’re friends,” he added. “I’d like to change that.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to marry me, Annie,” he said flatly. “But I realize I need to change my approach...to court you,
so to speak.”
“A means to an end, then?”
“You know me,” he said, hearing the frustration in her voice. “I’m not flowery or romantic and don’t believe in lying to get what I want.”
“And you want me?” she asked bluntly. “Is that it?”
Heat prickled his skin. “Well...yes.”
“That’s kind of drastic, don’t you think?” she shot back. “I mean, you have a new nanny now and I’m sure she’ll turn out to be adequate at looking after the kids.”
“They need more than adequate,” he reminded her. “They need you.”
“And you’d sacrifice yourself to make it happen?”
He glanced sideways, saw the way her jaw was wired tightly. “I’d hardly call marrying you a sacrifice, Annie.”
“You remember what marriage is?” she inquired; both her brows rose and her lovely mouth set into a grim line. “You know, all the things you have to do.”
“Sure,” he said and shrugged a fraction, conscious of the heat crawling up his neck at the implied intimacy. “Hanging out together, arguing, making up, sleeping in the same bed.”
“And pretending,” she said quietly. “That you’re now attracted to me.”
“I wouldn’t need to pretend.”
She turned her head and laughed humorlessly. “Have you suddenly got sex blinkers on?”
“Sex blinkers?”
“The kind that make someone attractive because it suits you,” she replied. “I hear they can become quite the burden over time. I wouldn’t want you to get crushed beneath the weight of good intentions.”
“Are you implying I’ve given you the impression that I’m not attracted to you?”
“Not implying,” she said. “Stating a fact backed up by the way you’ve treated me over the last few years. I mean, I understand you needed time to grieve your wife’s passing, but I also –”
“You’re right,’ he said, cutting her off. “I did. And I have. As for being attracted to you and how I have treated you these past few years – do you think it would have been appropriate to act on that attraction and chase you around the house?”
“Of course not,” she said quickly. “You were my boss.”