The Plastic Seed

by Maisie Porter

  For a moment, I was swayed by a handsome man offering me the job I had always wanted, but that’s all it was. A moment. Maybe when Carlana isn’t here to ruin the paths I attempt to take, I will try to further my career once more. I need to reach Carlana before she enters the grounds of the pool. I exit through the reception area. I keep my back against a brick wall and shuffle alongside it.

  There is a chance that Carlana will see me running across the emptiness between the wall and my destination, which is the pool. I will have to take a chance.

  Just as I am about to run, my foot brushes against an object. I look down to find a trowel lying next to my foot. I reach down to pick it up. I stop to consider why I need this tool. I have my gun. But that was OK to use before, when I just needed to scare her. It won’t work with the new resolution I have just made. I am not playing games, not now that I have decided that what I want is her out of the way, and not just her money. I pick up the trowel and shove it into my bag next to the gun. I tense my legs then sprint without looking around me to a shadowy tree in the distance, next to a vast pool.

  Carlana, 1:55PM

  I spent a summer’s day at this water park once before with Maia, when she was a year old, just before I met Evan. Back then I was still struggling with myself, needing to have the cutest swimming costume, but knowing that it wasn’t important. I walk under the neon sign as my phone rings again. I check the display. Evan again. Not. Now. Evan.

  I walk towards the front entrance of the pool.

  “Carlana,” I hear a voice shout out from the remote distance.

  I turn my head to where the voice is coming from. She stands next to a shallow pool, still holding her bag close to her body, just as she has done all day. It is the reason why I am here, to detach that bag from her unbalanced being. Those photos and USB need to get sopping wet. I keep on walking towards the entrance to the indoor swimming pool. I need her to follow me. As she is standing far away, I can pretend I didn’t hear her calling my name.

  “Carlana,” she calls out again, but doesn’t move in my direction. I am at the entrance, about to take a step inside the swimming pool, but she’s not coming towards me. I turn in her direction, and she is motioning with her hand for me to come to her. I shake my head and point towards the undercover pool in front of me. She shakes her head in disagreement. I look at the pool she is standing next to. Fine. I’ll just throw the bag into that pool, and get on with my laps, and with the rest of my simple life – as it was before she made this day a terrible nightmare. I leave the vicinity of the undercover pool entrance, and walk up the slight hill to where Jean is standing, waiting. I can feel her eyes on me, and I try not to think about what else she might be carrying in that bag, and how she will react when she realises I am not bringing her any paperwork confirming her employment.

  I don’t look at her while I walk towards her. I concentrate on the concrete like I usually do when I step. Hard, firm, stable, under my feet. The only difference is now I am looking at the ground. Usually I walk with my head up and trust that the concrete will support me. Before my breakdown, I always had the strong impression that the earth would swallow me up, that with each step I took I would fall into a heap, and disappear. Now I look up briefly, and it seems she’s moved. She’s not standing next to the shallow swimming pool any longer. Now she’s next to a palm tree, the green leaves are concealing half of her body. I look back over my shoulder at the indoor swimming pool, it’s not too late to go back to where the people are. I keep my eyes on her now so I can watch her as she shifts backwards.

  I finally reach the figure hidden behind the palm tree. “Hi Carlana,” she says, like these past few hours haven’t existed.

  “I don’t think we are allowed to be walking in this part of the park,” I say worriedly.

  She shrugs. “Does it look like this area is closed off?” She asks.

  I don’t reply to her rhetorical question.

  “I thought it would be better to study the paperwork you brought me outside, not too safe to have it so close to the pool,” Jean says.

  I suck my breath in. This is the tipping moment.

  “I’ve had a chance to think about it since you left our house, and Evan certainly did make a smart choice by hiring you. He explained to me he saw right away that you had strong organisational skills,” I lie. I honestly have no idea what Evan saw in her, and if the circumstances had been different, I would have told him what I thought about his crazy notion of employing people on a whim.

  I realise that my hands have formed into fists at my sides, not for the first time today. This isn’t how I cope, I tell myself.

  “But, so that we start off with a clean slate, I actually need to take those photos and the USB from you. When you give me those I will hand over the paperwork,” I pat my bag, that is only filled with swimming gear.

  “Let’s talk as we walk,” she says, turning up the path, not waiting for my reply.

  “I need to go pick Maia up from school,” I lie assertively.

  “Oh, maybe I can go with you? I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your Maia yet.”

  I shake my head, desperate to convince her otherwise.

  “Please, there’s no need. I am sure you want to get home, to see your own daughter.”

  She snaps her head to the side and stops walking.

  I realise I’ve said the wrong thing.

  This time I don’t look towards the pool, I glance towards the exit. It’s so far away. Have I really walked this considerable distance?

  I think about dialling Evan’s number.

  Evan, 3:00PM

  I stand at the low metal gate at the entrance to Butter-River Primary School. The row of grey gumtree trunks forms the second natural fence in front of the school building. I hope that Carlana has changed her mind and comes to collect Maia from school after all. I haven’t been able to reach her, even after checking with the pool she said she was going to be swimming at.

  “Evan, Evan.” I turn to face Bettina calling my name as she crosses the road. I swallow anxiously, hoping she won’t notice. She is wearing a tight green dress, and I wish we could immediately hide, just the two of us, behind that bus shelter across the road. I force back the deep thoughts, as she is much too tacky for me, all those necklaces that sink down to her cleavage. She reminds me of what Carlana used to look like when I first met her, occasionally anyway. One day she was showing all her curves, the next time she was covered in clothes that hid her every angle. Eventually, with my help, she threw away those tight-fitting clothes.

  “Evan, I am sorry, I told you I wasn’t able to pick up Maia as that appointment was essential, but guess what? The dentist just called me, and told me that they had me double-booked,” she says breathlessly, apologetically.

  “Lucky for me, for double-bookings,” I say. “Have you spoken to Carlana since she called you?” I ask.

  She shakes her head and touches my arm.

  “Listen, the last time I saw Carlana, a few days ago, she was telling me about some effortless, yummy dishes she has been making for you recently. I would like to invite the two of you over one evening and show you how I make them myself.” I nod slightly too enthusiastically, because I remember the last occasion she invited us over to her house. We arrived while she was swimming laps in her pool.

  The shrill school bell rings and breaks the tension.

  “That will be great, I’ll check with Carlana.”

  “Did you drive your car here to the school?” She asks.

  “No, I needed to clear my mind this afternoon, so I walked over.”

  “I guess you will need a lift home, then?” She says flashing me a huge smile, her bottom teeth are crooked and so imperfect.

  “If it’s not out of your way, a lift would be great. Maia will be thrilled with that idea.”

  The constant droning sound of the school bell reminds me of Carlana, and I can’t stop looking at Bettina, as she twirls the beads that fall in and out of her cleavage bet
ween her fingers.

  I stand back to let the stampede of kids run down the path I am standing on, and I watch for Maia’s face amongst the sea of bobbing blue hats running in a funnel onto the path outside the school.

  A hand grips my leg as I am looking ahead. I look down to see Maia’s face staring up at me. She hugs my leg and grabs hold of my hand, without saying a word. Carlana and I used to worry about Maia’s reluctance to speak, but I know her timid nature results from Carlana’s stress while she was pregnant with her and during her early days. I eventually came to the conclusion that it will take a few years for Maia to emerge from her quiet shell.

  I look over to Bettina, who is bending over to her daughter Haydee. Compared to Maia, Haydee won’t stop talking or moving.

  I notice Haydee is dressed in school uniform while the other children aren’t, and it reminds me of Carlana’s phone conversation with Bettina earlier this afternoon.

  “Looks like mufti day really was a forgettable event for some parents today?”

  “Why? Who else was as forgetful as me?” Bettina reacts with confusion.

  “Carlana, Carlana nearly forgot. She told you about it on the phone,” I say.

  “No, she didn’t tell me that.” Bettina replies with confusion.

  “Maia, Maia can you guess what? My mum just told me you are coming in our car.” Haydee says, tugging Maia’s arm as we cross the zebra crossing; distracting me from my confused thoughts.

  I keep an eye on Maia as she is simultaneously pulled and pushed through the crowd of parents and kids. I can’t have another person disappearing today with no explanation. I am trying to ignore how close Bettina is, walking right next to me, due to being wedged up against a parent on the other side of her.

  Once we have crossed the road, the two girls have already run ahead, and there is space between us again.

  “How’s business going? Carlana told me that the healthy eating workshops are filling up nicely,” she says cheerily.

  “Busy, definitely. So busy that I resolved to do Carlana a favour and employ someone to help her with the business, but that idea turned sour pretty quickly.”

  “Hire someone? Carlana never mentioned she was considering it,” she questions.

  “I only just came across the person I thought would be a good match, but…”

  Bettina is looking at her watch. I think that I am boring her. She looks at me suddenly.

  “Who did you want to hire?” she asks. “Sorry, it’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me,” she adds promptly.

  “It was a woman that Carlana said she had met at her talk this morning. She suggested we should hire her to be our nanny for Maia, when we go abroad.”

  Bettina stops walking.

  “Who was she? This lady?” Bettina asks.

  I shrug.

  “I don’t know, and that is the problem. I just offered a job to this strange woman, and now Carlana has vanished,”

  “I’m sure that she hasn’t vanished, Evan, she just went out on her own. But well, while you’re handing out jobs, do you need a new personal assistant at the recycling plant?” Bettina asks.

  “No, but we actually do we need some line managers. Interested?”

  Bettina steps ahead of me and shoots me a look over her shoulder.

  ***

  “Maia, we say one, two, three, then we repeat one of those numbers and see if we get a match,” Haydee explains as she throws rocks at Maia’s feet.

  “Haydee, please stop throwing rocks,” Bettina demands.

  “I am so sorry, Maia,” Bettina says. I can’t help but notice the apology is directed more at me than towards Maia.

  “Haydee, if you are going to be misbehaving, our friends will just walk home instead,” Bettina says, unlocking the car and hopping into the driver’s seat. We both know that nobody is walking back home this afternoon.

  I wonder if Carlana will be at home when we arrive, and for the first time in the events of this twisted afternoon, I do hope that she won’t be.

  The inside of Bettina’s car is cluttered with papers, boxes of cosmetics and coloured clothing. And I don’t understand how it’s possible to drive in a messy car like this. Then I look over at a smooth leg, that slowly lifts up and down as Bettina presses the accelerator, and I forget that my leg is resting on a basket.

  “Have you heard of the cosmetic company Atmospheric, Evan? They sell organic makeup, the ingredients are vegan with no nasty chemicals allowed. I have signed up to work as a consultant with them. So I have weekly sessions with Rachael, the head consultant. Then I was searching for a particular mascara on the website yesterday, and I couldn’t find it. I called Rachael, and she said that they had to remove it because it didn’t have organic ingredients in it. They replaced it with a new one, but it’s just not the same.”

  I am fractionally listening to what she is saying about some kind of cosmetics company, but I could not care less. What’s the point of wearing makeup at all? That’s what Carlana thinks.

  The car comes to a stop in front of our house too soon.

  “I can’t believe you and Carlana are moving so far away from me,” Bettina says before she turns off the engine. “I don’t know Carlana that well, but she’s become an excellent friend to me, especially since I broke up with Steve.”

  Her face crumples a little, her chin quivering.

  “Is it OK if I join you inside? I feel so sad whenever I think of Steve,” she waves a hand in front of her face, to stop the tears.

  I notice that Carlana’s car isn’t parked in the driveway. I turn to Maia. “How would you like Haydee to come and play for a little while?” Maia’s eyes widen, and she nods.

  Haydee is out of the car before I say yes, I am glad for that because I want to get inside in case Carlana arrives back.

  “Will Carlana be home soon? Oh, sorry, I just remembered you saying you don’t know where she is,” Bettina says, as if she has read my mind. She doesn’t want her to be here either.

  “She told me she was going to the pools,” I reply.

  “For a swim? And that’s why she called to ask me to pick Maia up?” she questions.

  “She seemed agitated, not herself this afternoon,” I say, wondering what had caused Carlana’s behaviour today.

  “I am sure she will be fine,” Bettina shrugs, and walks up the steps, and I walk behind her watching as her skirt brushes her legs.

  I open the door and Haydee runs inside, pulling Maia’s arm like it’s her own house that they have come to play at, not Maia’s.

  Bettina takes off her shoes, and I look down at her bright pink nail polished toes, so tacky, but I can’t wait to have those feet wrapped around me.

  “Would you like a craft beer? It’s made out of fermented bread,” I ask, overtaking her in the hallway and leading the way into the kitchen.

  “No thanks,” she replies absentmindedly while opening her bag and taking out her wallet.

  “Hey girls, how would you like to go down the road and buy yourself some ice cream or a milkshake?” Bettina suggests loudly. In a second, Haydee is standing at her feet. She puts down a hideous plastic toy she was holding and cups her little hands together in anticipation of the money, while Maia stares up at Bettina, eyes wide with awe.

  “I am not sure that’s such a good idea. Carlana and I never let Maia go to the shops alone.”

  “She won’t be alone, she will be with Haydee,” Bettina explains, the coins already in the girl’s hand.

  I look at Maia, who has started to giggle.

  “No harm, I guess. But do not talk to strangers,” I instruct.

  “Dad, can I buy myself an ice-cream if it’s wrapped in plastic?” Maia asks.

  “Just this once, but let’s make sure that your mum doesn’t find out that you did, all right?” I say, giving her a wink and soon her arm is grabbed again by Haydee and tugged out of the room. The front door slams and there is silence. I regret that I let Maia go, I restrain myself from running after he
r by focusing on Bettina. She sits down on the chair where Carlana sat earlier this morning, before she disappeared. I look at her and wonder if I could live with her, as she is, without changing her. No, even though she is sexy. Carlana was once, too. You can’t have it all. I would be happy with her for a while, until I started to miss the classiness that only Carlana has. Proudly, this is the first time I have considered or contemplated cheating on Carlana. I have been patient with Carlana, too tolerant.

  Bettina shifts her body in her seat, she seems impatient, I don’t tolerate impatience well, but in this situation it doesn’t matter, a restless sexual liaison is fine.

  We don’t have any clocks on the walls of our house, we don’t count time while we are at home, so I notice each time she looks down at her wrist to check her watch. She bites her lip and furrows her brow like she is deciding what do, but there aren’t any decisions to be made here.

  Suddenly, as if on perfect cue, Bettina stands up and walks to where I am sitting. She stands in front of me. She is above me. I look up at her, just as a leg swings over my lap, her torso is pressed between me and the table. She arches her back, grabs the back of my neck with one hand, and pushes my face into her chest. From the corner of my eye, I can see that she rechecks her watch.

  Carlana, 2:30PM

  It is taking too long for me to get this blackmail material and it’s ruining my plan for today. Bettina and I have sat in her house every Tuesday afternoon for the last month, eating pizza from the most commercial pizza shop in town. I explained to Bettina, in the later stages of our plan as well as this morning, that I would be at my house at 3:15pm to bust her, writhing on Evan’s lap. Now, just like that, it is 2:30pm. I will not be home on time, and my plan is unravelling just as she is getting ready to unravel her skirt. I will need to call her and ask her to stall our planned seduction of my husband.