Water Under Bridges

by Harper Bliss

  “Okay, swipe right.”

  “Yessss,” Robin said and swiped.

  “What happens next?” Martha asked.

  “Depending on whether Meredith swipes right on Lou, they can then message each other.” Robin gave Lou an appreciative once-over. “There is no way anyone on this app, and certainly not Meredith, will swipe left on you. I don’t mean to objectify your looks, Lou, but you’re as drop-dead gorgeous as they come.”

  Lou had had enough drinks to laugh away Robin’s comment.

  “Anyway, now that we’re starting to find our groove, let’s continue,” Robin said. She sounded as though she had just won a small amount at the slot machine and was now gunning for the big jackpot, confident that she would get it, no matter that the house always wins.

  They all said No in unison a few more times, debated a few others, which Lou vetoed as left swipes in the end, until another familiar face popped up.

  “Ooh, interesting,” Robin said. “I hadn’t figured Mia to be single and certainly not as someone looking for love on a dating app.”

  “Swipe left,” Amber said, her tone firm.

  Robin glanced at her. “Why?”

  “Just do it, Robin,” Amber said.

  “Are you sure, Lou? You and Mia are the two hot young singles of our group now and, truth be told, you’d make a cute couple. There’s something about her, don’t you think?”

  That was the second time this week someone had said Lou and Mia would make a good couple. It just went to show how deceiving appearances could be. Which made Lou decide it was time to put an end to this whole Tinder business.

  “That’s a definite left,” she said to Robin. “And I think I’ve had about enough now.”

  “Okay. You’re in charge,” Robin said.

  “Are you sure, babe?” Micky said. “You seemed to be getting a little carried away there.”

  Robin handed the phone back to Lou. “I was quite disappointed with what was on offer to be honest. Which makes me realize I’m doubly lucky to have already found you.” She leaned over and kissed Micky on the mouth.

  “Maybe Tinder is not the way to true love, despite its many amazing features,” Martha said sarcastically.

  Then Lou’s phone beeped. She hadn’t closed the Tinder app yet and a notification came in that Meredith had swiped right on her profile as well. She showed the screen to Robin.

  “It could work, you know,” Robin said. “Stranger things have happened.”

  “I’ll message her tomorrow then,” Lou said. “First I need to know how I’ll feel about this after a good night’s sleep.” She put away her phone, still a bit perturbed by seeing Mia’s face out of the blue again, but grateful that Robin was too tipsy to inquire about it further, although Lou had seen Micky furrow her brow at her and Amber’s adamant no.

  “Keep me posted. Just so I know what to say to Meredith on Monday,” Robin said. “Just for the record, she is a CrossFitting stockbroker, but impossible as it may seem, she has a heart of gold. A heart that’s been trampled on one too many times.”

  “Hence the poetry, I presume,” Martha said drily.

  Amber and Micky burst out laughing, while Lou wondered whether she’d be going on a date some time soon.

  Chapter Ten

  On Sunday morning Mia went about her regular slow wake up routine. A lot slower than before she had started working at the Pink Bean, although the annoying side-effect of having to set her alarm for five o’clock on weekdays was that her body woke up of its own accord at the same time on Sunday.

  She took the Saturday edition of The Sydney Morning Herald—she preferred the feel of old-fashioned paper in her hands at the weekend over her tablet screen—and went to her favorite brunch spot around the corner from her small flat off King Street.

  After she ordered and sat down, she realized, just like she had done the Sunday before, that soon she would be opening up an establishment that would be direct competition with this place where she’d had many a good breakfast and spent many a lovely hour perusing the newspaper or watching the world go by. But this was Newtown, and another coffee shop had just closed at the other end of this busy boulevard, and such, also, was life.

  The Larder was right next to her favorite independent cinema and, as she always did on Sunday morning, she studied the movie review section, compared it to what was on offer next door, and then bought a ticket for the afternoon showing at three. This allowed her ample time to stop by to see Annie, who ran a women’s bookshop across the street, and who more often than not knew exactly what to recommend according to Mia’s tastes.

  Fueled by her big breakfast, and the damn good coffee they served at The Larder, Mia headed to the bookshop with a spring in her step. It had been an eventful week, one that had taken its toll on her sleep and her peace of mind, but on Sunday one had no choice but to let it all go and relax. She was in her own neighborhood, which, for now, had no Pink Bean affiliation yet. This was where she felt good, strutting along King Street, nodding at Sue from the juice bar and Ahmed who was opening up his kebab shop. The people she had known for years and who made up the backdrop of her life. It was in Newtown that she had become someone else, that she had freed herself from the shackles of her old behavior, from the relentless soundtrack of her father’s words in her ear. From the girl she once was. A girl who had deserved to be loathed for sure, but she had been that girl and as disgusting as her behavior had been—cocky, cruel and trying to impress the wrong people—at some point between then and now, Mia had found it inside herself to forgive. If she couldn’t forgive herself for her past mistakes, what point was there in going on? Forgiving didn’t mean forgetting. She would always remember, but only she knew how lost she had been at the time, how lonely a teenager with a dozen friends can actually be.

  Mia stopped in front of the bookshop window and checked to see what had changed. There was one new book on display, but all the rest had remained the same. The bell dinged as she went inside and Annie, forever positioned on a high stool behind the counter, gave her a wave. Most times she came here, Mia was the only patron in the shop, and it was no different this Sunday. Other people would sometimes come in, but just browse the books—sometimes even being so bold as to take a picture of a cover with their phone so they could get the book online later—and never buy anything.

  Mia went up to the counter. “What have you got for me today, Annie?”

  Annie’s face lit up at Mia’s question. “Are you in the mood for something old or something new?”

  Mia pretended to think about this, even though Annie asked her the same question every time. “Old, of course,” Mia replied.

  “There are so many good new books out, Mia, you really have to start on them sooner rather than later, especially…” Annie paused.

  “Especially what?”

  Annie’s face darkened. “I got another offer on the shop. I’m not sure I can still afford to refuse this one.”

  “Pages?” Mia asked.

  Annie nodded. “And guess what the kicker is. They don’t want to turn it into just another Pages branch. They want to make it look like an actual independent bookshop, even though it won’t be, of course. They want to fool the customer because, according to them, the customer wants to be fooled.”

  Mia shook her head. “What an utter disgrace.”

  “They’ve even offered me an”—she curled her fingers into air quotes—“‘advisory position’. But you know me, Mia. You’ve been coming here for years. Even though their prime business is books, I can’t work for a big corporation like Pages. I’ve had this shop for almost twenty years. I’ve had no bosses and no upper management to report to. I’ve had control over what goes on the shelves and what doesn’t—nothing by Jeremy Clarkson, for instance. There’s just no way I will let some marketing department populated by twenty-somethings tell me what to put on the shelves of my bookshop. They probably don’t know their Jane Austen from their Charlotte Brontë.” Annie held up a copy of Wuthering H
eights. “This, for example, is no Jane Austen.” Her voice broke a fraction, then she shrugged. “Oh well, I guess I’m ready for retirement, anyway.”

  “You’re in the prime of your life, Annie.” Mia accepted the copy of Wuthering Heights Annie handed her. She glanced around the shop. Because Annie had owned it for as long as the shop had been open, it was a big space that had survived the trend of ever-smaller store spaces. She and her partner lived in the flat above. Annie’s entire life revolved around this shop.

  Annie scoffed. “Hardly,” she said. “You are in the prime of your life. So let’s quickly change the subject. I don’t want to depress my most loyal customer with sad tales of my gloomy fate.” She gave Mia a crooked smile. “Have you found a girlfriend yet?”

  Mia knew it was meant in jest, and that Annie, who was as sweet as they came, mostly asked the question out of habit. But today Mia didn’t feel like giving her usual answer. Instead she said, “You know these days it’s not every person in their twenties and thirties’ biggest dream to find a partner, have 2.4 babies and move to a house in the suburbs. Being single is a perfectly valid way to live your life, despite what the general perception of us might be.”

  “Oh, I’m sure. I guess I’m just old-fashioned that way,” Annie said, then their attention was snagged by the bell chiming. Instinctively, they both stared at the door. Mia’s heart did a double take when she recognized Lou. So much for a relaxing Sunday. She took a deep breath. She’d finish her purchase and head to the cinema early, have a stiff drink on the terrace in front. All thoughts of the possibility of Annie’s bookshop ceasing to exist were pushed to the back of her mind. These days, when faced with Lou—who now could only represent the mistakes Mia had made in the past—she had to go into survival mode.

  Seeing as Mia was the only other customer in the shop, Lou had looked her straight in the eye. She’d given no sign of recognition as far as Mia could tell.

  “Are you all right, Mia?” Annie asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I’m fine. Can I pay for this, please? I need to get going.”

  “So quickly?”

  Mia nervously shuffled her weight from one foot to the other. “Yes. Sorry.” Taking that deep breath hadn’t helped one bit. God, she really needed to push Kristin to get moving on the new Pink Bean plans. Find a suitable space. In fact, instead of going to the theatre early, Mia would walk along King Street with wide open eyes and search for suitable spaces herself. The sooner they found one, the sooner she could stay away from the Darlinghurst branch and avoid Lou altogether, because this was starting to do her head in.

  “Is it because of Louise? You’ve been jumpy ever since she walked in.”

  “You know her?”

  “Yes. Her mother and I have been volunteers at the same soup kitchen since we were in our twenties. I’ve known Louise since she was a little girl.”

  The mention of Lou as a little girl felt like another blow to Mia’s stomach.

  “I take it you know her as well and things didn’t end well?” Annie waggled her eyebrows in quick succession a few times.

  Mia shook her head. “I really need to go now. I’ll see you next week.”

  “As you wish,” Annie said, a smile in her voice.

  Lou still lingered by the door, undoubtedly kept at a distance from her family friend by Mia’s presence, but Mia hoped she would move farther into the store as Mia left so she didn’t have to pass too close.

  Mia made her way out with her gaze glued safely to the shop’s hardwood floor. Was Lou going to start turning up in all her happy spots? Even though it was irrational, Mia felt hunted, chased down. A layer of sweat had formed on the back of her neck and she had to take a few more deep breaths before she could start walking—and scout the streets of Newtown for a much-needed second Pink Bean location.

  Mia impatiently waited for the theatre to open so she could sink into one of the plush chairs, lose herself in the movie, and forget about reality for a few hours. She hadn’t seen any suitable locations on King Street for the second Pink Bean which meant they may have to start looking in the side streets, which Mia didn’t think would be a good business idea. Newtown was different than Darlinghurst and the branch here would need to attract more foot traffic than the other Pink Bean, which could rely on regulars from the neighborhood to keep the books comfortably in the black.

  During her first two weeks there, Mia had been amazed at the amount of regulars the Pink Bean had. The Newtown branch would not be like that. The population was much more transient, made up of students and tourists rather than young families of which the parents needed their daily shot of caffeine to make it to the end of another tiring day.

  The beginning of an idea was brewing in the deep recesses of her subconscious, an idea she couldn’t put her finger on quite yet. She would need to let it percolate for a while longer before it made itself known.

  More people were starting to arrive and Mia checked her watch. The previous screening should just about be finished and soon there would be stream of people coming out. Mia found a spot near the wall from where she could keep an eye on everything. Most of the small crowd waiting with her were staring at their phone screens, missing out on the glorious pleasure of people watching.

  A woman arrived whom Mia vaguely recognized but she couldn’t pinpoint from where. The woman didn’t give any signs of knowing her, so Mia tried shooting her a quick smile, but the woman’s eyes remained just as glazed over. She glanced around furtively, scanning the queue. She was obviously meeting someone.

  Then, from around the corner, appeared a face Mia did recognize. Oh Christ. Lou was going to the same movie as she was. She quickly looked away, then peered back from under her lashes. She was hidden by a group in front of her, so she could observe how Lou greeted the woman who had arrived earlier. Their hello was awkward. Not the greeting of people who’d known each other for a long time. A hesitant kiss on the cheek, not sure where to put the hands, stalling conversation and shy smiles.

  This was a date.

  Wait a minute. That woman. Now that she tilted her head and shot Lou a seductive smile… Had Mia seen her on Tinder the other day? She’d been feeling agitated because of the events with Lou that week, so she’d let Pat set up a profile for her on the dating app and then had promptly proceeded to swipe left on every single picture she saw. Truth be told, she had stalled at the woman who was now buying drinks for herself and Lou, had found something intriguing about her, but Mia didn’t need a dating app to get a date. She’d go to the Newtown Hotel on a Tuesday night, order a beer, sit at the bar, and get her date the old-fashioned way—as opposed to quickly judging someone simply on how she looked—thank you very much.

  So Lou was on Tinder as well—if she was right about this set-up. She was only guessing, and she was giving herself a lot of leeway in her guessing game, but it could be possible. This was the twenty-first century after all, and everything was possible.

  It was her bad luck that the movie she’d chosen to see today was only playing at this theatre. It had obviously appealed to Lou and her date as well, making them end up in Mia’s stomping ground. Her safe space, where she was the new Mia and nothing of the old one was let in.

  Thank goodness the very nature of sitting in a movie theatre meant surrendering to the dark and to the lives depicted on the screen. Mia hoped the movie would be absorbing enough to allow her to forget about Lou’s presence. If not, a Sunday afternoon visit to the Newtown Hotel was on the cards. And she wouldn’t try to get a date with anyone there—not only because Sundays were not a favorite going out day amongst Newtown lesbians, but mostly because a date was the last thing on Mia’s mind when she was in a mood like this, forced upon her by the actions of her past self.

  The doors to the theatre opened and Mia rushed in, hoping that the seat she had been allocated would be far away from Lou’s. She stepped into the familiar dark of the cinema, but only felt a fraction of the exhilaration that usually befell her
every time she crossed the threshold. She briefly considered walking out, exchanging her ticket for another showing, and forgetting all about Lou. But she braced herself, told herself this was a dark room designed for forgetting about the other people who were sitting in there with you. The alternative was going home and moping, or walking around aimlessly. Moping wasn’t going to get her anywhere.

  She found her seat and forced herself not to look around. A few minutes later, she saw Lou and the woman walk past. Good. At least they were sitting in front of her and she didn’t have to worry about Lou’s eyes boring into the back of her head for the length of the movie. They sat down diagonally from Mia a few rows in front of her. Mia had no idea if Lou had clocked her. If she had, she didn’t let on. Just as she had given zero signs of recognition at Annie’s. As if Mia didn’t exist and when Lou looked at her all she saw was a blank space.

  Now that they were all seated, Mia couldn’t help but watch the backs of their heads. Lou’s long hair tied into a ponytail. The other woman’s hair dirty blonde and short, her head bopping this way and that in an animated fashion. They were giggling about something. How strange to come to the cinema on the very first date—if that was really what this was. To sit next to each other in the dark and not be able to speak for two hours.

  She saw Lou in profile and, out of nowhere, it hit her again how beautiful she had become. How Mia had reacted to meeting her before their past had been unveiled. Perhaps it hadn’t been instant attraction, but if not that, then at least something very close to it. The woman sitting next to her must be over the moon. Mia wondered whether, if things hadn’t been the way they were between her and Lou, she would be the one sitting next to her in this theatre right now. She had certainly been on a path to ask Lou out. She hadn’t wanted to rush things because of her new job at the Pink Bean and her hopes had quickly been thwarted by Lou’s cold demeanor toward her, but that first week, when Mia had been none the wiser, the thought had definitely occurred to her. Now, she sat watching Lou on a date with someone else. And was that woman truly so much better than Mia? At this stage of her life, when Mia had turned everything around, had grown out of the malice that she carried with her for those few years in high school, was she not just as worthy to go on a date with a woman she was attracted to?