The Forbidden Fruit

by S. K Munt

  ‘I gave you that bible last week so you could see how un-evil we all are,’ he whispered. ‘Remember the feather thing? Forgiveness makes them all white.’ He smiled at me sadly. ‘And like God, no one’s feathers will ever be as purely white as yours- so you must be willing to forgive those who are not as strong as you are, or face an eternity of being alone with only your perfection for company.’ He touched my lips, with a hungry look in his eye. ‘Kohén’s lustful nature does not make him unworthy of you, little bird- just in need of your influence.’

  ‘Your feathers are white already!’ I whispered. ‘You are an angel and I know that I can love you! And if the words you wrote in those letters were true, then I can’t imagine that forgiving Kohén will reverse the fact that you have been stealing my heart since the day you sent me that book!’

  ‘I sent you that book because Kohén said that you loved books and old things, and old books were all I had to give with no one to give them to before then.’ Kohl looked down at me and his tears slipped past his grim smile. ‘And I wrote to you the first time to thank you for being his friend, because I was sad for him every day.’ I began to feel a shimmer radiate through me- a scintilla of something potent and promised. ‘But I fell in love with you, based on the letters that he wrote to me along the way, and the stories that he told to me about HIS little lark,’ he brushed my tears away. ‘About the girl who once ran into a tree in her ambition to chase down a ball, and the girl who brought up the Companion sexual-itinerary in front of my parents and to spite Karol at her first formal dinner. About the girl who could not pass her ballet exam, so she turned around and shook her ten-year-old tush at her teacher and did a Native American war chant as her song, and the girl who gave him reason to smile on the day his twin was sent away by teaching him poker and promising to cover for him for dirtying the Collection Room floor…’ A sob escaped me and his features wrenched painfully. ‘About his soul mate. And those are the words he’s used Larkin, again and again since he was seven.’ He swallowed hard, and it felt like he was squeezing my heart in his hand. ‘And if I let you read those, I don’t think you’d ever doubt your feelings for him, or have any for me ever again. And if you could feel so passionately about one another and marry- Arcadia would become a paradise at last, and as a Barachiel- and a brother- I must put the kingdom’s happiness before my own, even if it does break my heart to do so.’ He sighed, pulling me to my feet and keeping his gaze turned while I adjusted my clothes. ‘And I will deserve it, because it was wrong of me to kiss you, even when I thought you were Emmerly, and I was wrong to seek you out and write to you and even coming to you now is an act of betrayal toward my own flesh and blood- because you are his until you say otherwise.’ He ran his hand down my hair. ‘I may never forgive myself for saying any of this if I lose you because of it, but I won’t deserve your love or his, if I don’t.’

  ‘I…’ I was moved beyond measure. ‘B- but you’ve lost so much to him already…’

  ‘On our fifth birthday, Kohén jumped into the ocean from the dock, declaring that he was going to swim to Pacifica, so I would not have to be sent by ship the following week,’ Kohl whispered, and my heart lifted into my throat. ‘He almost drowned, because he couldn’t swim, but he did it because he knew that being on a large body of water that was too big for me to control would wreck me, and it did- I didn’t recover for weeks and still baulk at the idea of open water.’ Kohl’s face constricted again and he touched my earring gently. ‘Just as I know now that losing you without having the chance to fight for you, will wreck him, and haunt him after. His attempt to sacrifice himself for me didn’t change anything, and this may not either and of course, I will be gladdened indeed if he proves you right and hurls you into my arms, just as I am sure he is now grateful that he didn’t manage to swim more than five metres that day.’ He touched my ring- making as much contact with me as he could without actually touching my flesh. ‘He did not abstain from the harem he has been offered, but he is taking pains to save you and your very best friend with it, even though Kelia was always his second preference for her prettiness and sweet nature. So…’ he wiped away a tear. ‘If your true love is already in your cage with you, then what does it matter if he is blocking the door? What does it matter if he slips up? Where else could you possibly want to be?’

  I stared at him. Kohl had just made the most romantic declaration I’d ever heard, but it had been on Kohén’s behalf and suddenly, my soul was screaming its need for those words to be true. I loved Kohén, desperately, but I kept trying to hide from it, like he said, because I didn’t have faith in God or man. But if he loved me… if he loved me… I wouldn’t need diamonds, and I wouldn’t need cotton, and I wouldn’t need to worry about losing my sense of self because he had more faith and belief in me than anyone did, even Kohl. And he didn’t find pleasure with the other girls, not as easily as I had with Karol that awful day. He loved me and he would forgive me or even better- he would stop it from happening.

  He would never be like Karol.

  ‘I have to…’ I got to my feet slowly, tying myself up. ‘I’m sorry Kohl, but I have to know…if he can love me anyway, and if he has the patience...’

  ‘I need you to know,’ he said, releasing my hand as I began to back away. ‘And if you have cause to come to me after…’ he pressed his hand to his heart and smiled tearfully. ‘I will have one black feather, but a golden soul, right?’

  ‘Right,’ I croaked, then I turned and ran, taking two steps at a time- flying out into the foyer and hurtling through the open manor door. Soon, the cool sand was beneath my feet and my breath was rattling around in my chest. I could see the lights and hear the music of the luau straight away and I ran through the centre of it, hoping that I wasn’t too late to prevent Kohén from writing himself off with rum. I needed him coherent- I needed him: full stop.

  The sky lit up blue again and all heads turned toward it just as we heard the anguished cry and my heart skipped a beat. He was taking it worse than me! I raced past the king, who had Alicia on his lap and past a native couple who were dancing erotically on an otherwise abandoned dance floor. More natives were huddled over tables, clinking classes and laughing, Jovi was standing by Atticus’s side, but there was no sight of my friends, and no sign of the duchess. I remembered what Kohl had said about Kohén having headed down to the beach alone and I twisted quickly and ran across the manicured grass of the esplanade, coming to an abrupt halt when the sky lit up again, allowing me to glimpse Kohén sitting in the dunes right in front of me. Only his head and shoulders were visible, but he was facing the ocean and had braced himself on the steep rise of the dune before him, muttering to himself and bowing his head as though he was feeling every bit as anguished as I was.

  ‘I love you,’ I half-whispered, half-exclaimed, smiling when his head whipped around and his eyes widened. ‘I’m sorry. I love you Kohén and I have something to tell you…’ I stepped forward in the cool, rough sand, preparing myself to show my hand, but my voice died when I heard her exclaim:

  ‘Yes! Oh Kohén! Cum for me, please?!’ Her voice was almost too husky to be recognisable, but it didn’t matter, for my feet hurtled me forward another step up, high enough to put me above him and then looking down into the hollow of the dunes- and right into a nightmare- so that I could recognise the head of braids glinting copper in the moonlight.

  19.

  No!

  Like a fisherman trying to reel in a massive catch, I tried to tug back my heart before it could become entangled in the Companion net, but it was too late- there were too many moans, too many naked limbs and the moon too bright for what I was seeing to be questioned. Kelia was bent over beneath him and he was pressing into her from behind, and Lette was writhing with her pelvis under Kelia’s face, and had her pretty face lifted to the palm fronds above with a rapturous expression upon it. Kohén was bent as he was because his palms were pressing against Lette’s delicate shoulders, holding her down for Kelia’s oral debasement,
and he’d not been bowing to sob- but thrusting into my best friend’s virginal body. Elfin and Emmerly were behind them all, Elfin’s head between his thighs, doing something to his testicles with her mouth, while Emmerly penetrated her with her fingers from behind and begged for her turn.

  History repeats, and always too late for anything to be done to stop that.

  My heart stopped, and I was fairly certain that it would never start again. He was JUST like Karol, and the amount of lives that had been sacrificed for me suddenly numbered five- because I included Kelia’s mother among the victims. Only this time- I knew it was NOT my fault, but his.

  Kohén’s lips parted but I held up my hand. ‘Never mind,’ I rasped. ‘I can see that you’re busy so…’ I turned away and my shoulders curled together when I heard him gasp and Kelia begin to make a long, keening sound. Kelia, who had been a sweet little girl with dreams and was now just a convenient orifice, and not even that was enough to sate his newfound hatred for me- he needed the others too! I pressed my hands to my ears and ran three long strides back to the shadowy part of the esplanade, wondering what an aneurism felt like- and smacked into a warm, hard body.

  ‘Don’t go down there,’ I said, not recognising my own voice but immediately knowing his tropical scent. ‘His highness has company- lots of it, and I’ve already rudely interrupted once so… I’d hate to deprive Kelia of her first orgasm...’

  ‘Oh my god…’ Kohl’s dismayed moan made his chest rumble in a guttural way. ‘Oh he didn’t!’ he strained to see past me while holding me in place by my shoulders. ‘That fucking idiot!’

  ‘He found a way to deal with his little soul mate issue, yes,’ I confirmed, smiling at him with teeth that would not part for my stiffened jaws. I had to get out of there, and quickly.

  Kohl pulled me to him and murmured: ‘Larkin, forgive me for sending you headfirst into that. I never would have if I’d known that-’

  ‘Don’t apologise,’ I whispered, then shook him off. ‘You just ripped the cage door off its hinges so if you don’t mind, I’m going to go stretch my wings without the weight of obligation and guilt keeping me grounded.’ I swallowed. ‘And before I do something that will get me banished.’

  ‘Of course,’ he whispered, holding my hand until I stretched too far for him to maintain his grip. ‘And while you do that, I’m going to rain on an entitled parade again!’

  I nodded, tore myself from him and ran off to the left, my chest heaving with sobs that I didn’t let out until I was into the first line of trees at the edge of the rainforest and crashing through the dewy foliage like Amalie Sanchez back in the second beginning, bolting from demons- inner ones, with the corpse of what could have been a wonderful life heavy in my arms.

  I would have been next. I would have done it. I would have sold my teenage soul for a half-baked Nephilim boy who could get as much satisfaction from me, as he could from Kelia or from his own bare hand. Maryah had been right- the Barachiel boys were insatiable but not just in the physical sense. Like Miguel before the fall of Satan, they wanted everything they could have, and the things they wanted the most- like Satan- they put on pedestals and left to gather dust until the thing they so prized choked on their requited but delayed love. I’d been trying to yank Kelia’s dead weight up onto that pedestal with me but he’d grasped her while swinging his paw at me, and now she was lost.

  Kohl seemed to be different- exceptional even- but I would not be so foolish as to stake any real hope in a future with him, than I would with Kohén now. Perhaps Kohl and I had slipped through the same crack together, but I wouldn’t dare to dream that we would land in the same place until he’d caught me. He had convinced me that the Barachiel’s could love, and I believed him- I just knew now that they loved the things they adored to death and ruined everything in their path while pursuing them!

  You have not lost anything that you wouldn’t have lost anyway, and haven’t lost before! So recover! Fight back, and fight harder! Stop allowing yourself to whisper half-truths, when the real truths ought to be screamed and proudly! This world is not equal! This cannot be God’s plan for us! Not for ONE of us and certainly not for me! I am better than this! Forgive me God for doubting that! It was Satan whispering, not my common sense!

  I heard branches break around me and felt them tear at my skin, but I did not hear footsteps pursuing me and for that I was glad. I leapt over a fallen tree and into a field, almost rolling my ankle on a coconut gleaming on the silvery moon-bleached grass outside the tree line, but I regained my footing quickly after and stood still for a moment, looking around to try and get my bearings. There were three fields in the clearing- two pineapples ones and in the distance, something that was either corn or sugar cane.

  Did we go past here on the tour? Yes! And if find the road going through the centre here and cross to the other side, I’ll come out at that beach we went surfing at eventually!

  I ran along the sides of the two pineapple fields, but when I stumbled upon the dirt track separating the sugar cane from the pineapples, the agony of seeing Kohén with the others tore through my core again and I doubled over at the waist and gasped as my head buzzed from a lack of oxygen and my lungs collapsed with each breath like paper bags. I wanted to run on, but where could I go where my life wouldn’t find me? If I turned and followed the dirt track separating the fields, I’d be discovered soon enough and have to face Kohén or get screamed at by Elijah for going off alone, which was forbidden, but if I ploughed into the corn, I’d probably get bitten by a snake and even if I made it to the other side of Caldera Island, where to then?

  Part of me would welcome a swift death under a starry sky- the parts that had belonged to Kohén which I now realised was everything BUT my brain- but the rest of me remembered Martya and Lindy and most importantly- God. If I died now, I could not be certain that I loved him enough to end up in his heavenly embrace, and I wanted to- I wanted to be good!

  The buzzing sound increased and I fell to my knees and cradled my head, wondering if I was having some sort of panic attack, but then it faded- and then spiked again and then suddenly, things were whipping against my skin, hitting me hard, but not causing actual pain. I swatted away what I presumed to be a march fly, thinking that maybe I’d fallen down near a dead bird or something and that was when I realised that the buzzing was coming from every direction- swarming around me and then suddenly over me. Dozens of tiny, winged creatures getting tangled in my hair and brushing against my lips. I snatched out my hand and grasped one, wondering if I’d stumbled headfirst into a wasp’s nest, but just as my palm closed around the tiny body, I felt it disintegrate rather than sting me, and when I opened my palm again, glittering, glowing blue dust was all that was left of the winged illusion.

  Magic!

  I spluttered in shock and stood, staggering back until the buzzing lost its energy, wondering if Kohén really had just made me run into hell, and that was when I saw her: Constance standing in the middle of the road near the centre of the field and holding her hands out as if to embrace the swarm of locusts above us. No, not embracing… sending forth!

  The truth hit me like a thunderclap, and seconds later, an actual thunderclap resonated in the skies above. I looked up just as the rain fell on me in one sheet, and I knew that back at the beach, Kohl had just put out the fire that had incinerated me, casting everyone into wet blackness and giving them the cold shower that they deserved. I pushed hair, tears and rain out of my eyes and squinted back at Constance, just as she fell to her knees. At first I thought she was praising Satan, but then I realised- she’d collapsed and the locusts had dissolved. That made me raise my eyebrows- was she too weak to see her witchcraft through? Or had Kohl’s powers overwhelmed hers somehow?

  ‘It’s you!’ I cried, staggering toward her. ‘You’re the dark Nephilim who has been plaguing Calliel with locusts! Why? Would you starve your own people?’

  Constance swung around almost drunkenly, bowing again and catching herself on the already s
loppy ground. The rain was falling so hard that it was rebounding back up and hard, splattering her with mud, but she spat it out of her mouth as she rasped in response: ‘You! Get out of here you damned whore!’

  ‘I am NOT a whore!’ I screamed, but the thunder rumbled again, muting the sound. ‘But you are a witch, and a hellion and when Kohl finds out that you’re sabotaging what he’s devoted his life to-’

  ‘Oooh!’ Constance screeched and pushed off the ground, coming at me with fingers curled, but I dodged her and she went down hard, her palms skidding against the ground. ‘You’ll die before a word gets out of that mouth of yours!’

  I went to tell her that she didn’t look like she could go two rounds with a single locust, but she recovered quickly and suddenly swung out her leg, trying to take my feet out from beneath me. I stumbled back and missed her span, but the road sloped down to the pineapple field behind me and I lost my balance and fell back hard, realising that I was about to either be killed by a Nephilim, or be held accountable for killing one, because I was not going down without a fight! I gasped for the pain shooting up my tailbone and when I saw the duchess stagger across the road and loom over me, I began to spider backwards, pausing to pick up a sizeable rock and pelting it at her as I’d been trained to do by Regan.

  Never give in! Keep bringing the pain! Keep attacking!

  The rock hit her hard and she screeched and I picked up a handful of them, throwing them near her eyes to shower them with dirt particles. ‘This is treason! How could you do this to your people? Your king? And especially to your SON?’

  ‘I do this for my son to spite my king!’ she snapped, staggering down after me and taking hold of my foot when I was pricked by a spiky pineapple leaf and momentarily distracted. Already, my rain-slick skin was coated with dirt and loose grass and parts of my flesh felt chaffed and raw ‘If this field gets obliterated, Elijah will feel compelled to stay and even if it’s just for a week…’ she sobbed. ‘Just a few more days with my poor baby…’