The Forbidden Fruit

by S. K Munt

  12. I understand that although this contract is unbreakable on my part, it will be rendered null and void in the event of my Prince’s death, the collapse of the monarchy, God’s Armageddon or by the crown’s intentional destruction.

  Signed: Larkin Date: June 11th AA632

  PART FOUR

  32.

  I’d expected that the pictures were going to be taken in the throne room, but when I went out there, I saw only a Shepherd service in full swing. I looked around, wondering where else the royal family would have such a picture taken and then realised that there was only one place; the cottage. My legs moved easily enough in the loose skirt thanks to the slit, but it was still long and I had to lift my hem from the floor so that I wouldn’t trip on it as I flew over the marble tiles.

  I have to find him now! Oh God, I hope he hasn’t found Kohl already!

  The glass leaves of Eden’s ceiling had been stained an ochre-shade of autumn by the impending sunset, and I stepped on their silhouettes as I crossed the room, gathering up so much speed so quickly that by the time I was closing in on the courtyard door, I was moving too fast to avoid a direct collision with Kohl, who was storming along it toward me.

  ‘Ugh!’ I slammed into him hard enough to knock the wind out of me, and he let out a raspy grunt and staggered back a foot or so. Winded, I clutched at my stomach and panted for breath as I took in his countenance- his face was as mottled red as his burgundy shirt, his lips were drawn into a tight line and when he lowered his gaze to me, I sobbed in despair, for I had not seen them so black with rage before.

  ‘I’m sorry Kohl!’ I managed to wheeze out as I rose unsteadily. I looked around the room, but only a few strangers were looking down the corridor and our way with concern from the throne room, so I turned back to him and did a brief assessment, which left me feeling even more breathless for he had his eye-patch in one balled fist- and a piece of paper crumpled up in the other. I stepped closer, squinting at it, and then touched my fingers to my throat when I recognised Kohl’s own cursive. ‘Oh God...’ I looked up at him once more. ‘Kohén has already confronted you about the letters that Kelia found, hasn’t he?’

  Kohl squeezed his eyes shut and nodded tightly, and I could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions under control, because the objects in his hand were stained with a subtle blue glow and trembling. In addition to that, his Adam’s apple was bobbing in his throat, and above us, thunder was rumbling loudly enough to threaten the festivities outside.

  ‘What did he say?’ I whispered.

  Kohl lifted his letter listlessly. ‘That he hopes that we’ve both gotten better at hide and seek,’ he rasped, ‘because if he catches either of us alone before our freedom is granted…’ he looked away, his forehead pinching up like the sides of an accordion. ‘I will end up in the tidal fall, and you with end up with a golden brand on your arm and your rightful owner buried deep inside you- to remind you of your place.’

  As I processed those words and heard Kelia’s threats confirmed- that Kohén planned to have me before he discarded me- my hand slid from my throat to my mouth to hold in my cry of alarm.

  No! Oh God… Kohén, how could such ugly words leave your beautiful mouth?

  Kohl’s lip twitched when he looked back at me and saw my obvious horror. ‘I know, right?’ He shrugged, and I noticed that he was being careful to keep his glowing hand away from me- scratching his arm when he would have usually reached for me. ‘Naturally I didn’t take that threat as easily- or as quietly- as he would have liked me to, so when I threatened to kill him if he laid a hand on you in vengeance, he drew his sword and the next thing you know, Karol was shoving me into the corridor, and commanding me to wait right here for the lecture to follow, while father calmed Kohén down.’ He glanced back down the corridor, sneering slightly. ‘Which is probably for the best. Much as I would have liked to rip him limb from limb, I’m glad that we were separated before either of us were forced to admit that we were fighting over you.’

  I swallowed hard and said into the palm of my hand. ‘So they don’t know about us?’ Kohl shook his head as I slid my fingers away from my lips. ‘But what if Kohén’s telling them now?’

  But Kohl shook his head, looking back at me with a slightly accusatory look. ‘He would if it was only my ass on the line, Larkin… but he won’t risk losing you by revealing us- not if he can find a way to punish us privately, like he said he would.’

  I looked down at the pillowcase hanging like a sack of hunted kill in my left hand. As surreal as it was to me to be having this conversation in this hall on this day, it seemed fitting somehow. After all, this had been the best day of my life- so how could I have expected it to end without blood being shed, or bonds being broken forever? I was many things- but lucky was not one of them.

  Still, I found it hard to believe that my Kohén would actually follow through on his threats. He was most certainly devastated and furious beyond measure, yes- but he wasn’t a murderer or a rapist, and even if he felt like changing that, his Nephilim blood would most certainly prevent him from seeing it through.

  ‘No Kohl, he can’t mean to do those things to either of us,’ I said looking up and stepping forward again- needing to be close to him to be able to hear him over the rush of blood in my ears. ‘He just can’t!’

  But Kohl’s eyes slid down me, and then to the letter in his hand. ‘He does, Larkin,’ he whispered softly and morosely, and I could see that his regret had aged him in just a few minutes. ‘He’s wrecked in every way. He probably would have beaten me within an inch of my life right then, but there were witnesses. Mother, father, the photographer... Karol…’ he rubbed his creased forehead wearily. ‘And I think he’s still in shock, if I’m being honest…’

  I bit my lip foolishly as rankled at the idea of Kohén being ‘wrecked in every way’ as I was over the idea of him exacting revenge. ‘So… so what do we do now?’

  Kohl pushed his hair back, still not looking up at me. ‘I guess that he and I will fight it out, man to man, and see what happens…’ he glanced up at me from beneath his lowered brows, and a hint of blue peeked through his dilated pupils. ‘But you have to leave, okay? That’s why I was coming to find you- to warn you…’ he shook his head. ‘You can’t be here when he walks out, Larkin.’

  ‘You think I’d leave you here to take the fall for both of us?’ I demanded, incredulous. ‘No way.’

  ‘You have to!’ Kohl insisted. ‘He’s mad enough as it is to know that we went behind his back, but if he walks out here and finds you shielding me rather than begging for forgiveness-’

  ‘Then go,’ I said abruptly. ‘Go and destroy the evidence, so he finds only me waiting for him,’ I pressed the pillowcase into his hand, causing the letter to crackle in his fist, ‘then I can try the beg for forgiveness thing.’

  Kohl frowned and looked down at the pillowcase. ‘What-’

  ‘All of your letters are in there, and the bible too,’ I said. ‘I picked them all up, and was going to show them to him- so he could see what we had instead of jumping to the worst conclusions, as Kelia did.’ I sighed. ‘But that was when I thought that he still had the ability to think and act rationally.’ I shook my head. ‘Now that I know he’s lost the plot though, I see that begging, not reasoning, is the only hope that either of us have left.’

  Kohl looked up at me, and his eyes were black again- incensed at the idea of being saved by a woman, no doubt. ‘You don’t actually think that erasing the evidence will make all of this go away, do you?’

  ‘No,’ I said honestly, my words coming as quickly and sharply as my heartbeat. ‘But I know that they’re proof enough to see you banished or whipped once this goes public, and I won’t give a madman documented justification for punishing either of us. So destroy them, and then it will be his word against ours.’

  Kohl started shaking his head before I was finished talking. ‘That would only work if you had all of the letters on you,’ he said. ‘But he still has the last
half of my latest one, which Kelia also saw, and will probably have one of the guards on Caldera raid my stuff to find your letters to me if we try to challenge him in any way, anyway!’

  I stared at Kohl, lost. ‘So... that’s it?’ I demanded. ‘You just give up and take a beating, or worse?’

  He held out his hands. ‘I don’t know what else to do! It’s not like I can wipe his memory, you know. Regardless of how we handle this or what we say- he’s not going to feel better about it until he’s kicked my ass for going after his girl, and I’m sure as hell not letting him corner you before the worst of it’s out of his system!’

  I stamped my foot, knowing damn well that a punch up between two angry, jealous powerful Nephilim wouldn’t end with them sharing a beer like with mortal men- it would end with a catastrophe, and not only could I not envision an outcome that would see water best electricity, but I didn’t want to! I didn’t want either of them hurt because they’d both been stupid enough to fall for me. ‘No, Kohl, okay? No! What we did was wrong, but it wasn’t so wrong to warrant us losing our liberty over it, and certainly not your life!’

  ‘That’s not how he sees it, Larkin!’

  ‘Yeah well, he’s a spoiled prick with an overblown sense of entitlement, just like his big, grotesque brother!’ I snapped, taking Kohl by the arm and trying to lead him down the hall. ‘And you know what? I’ve kept that information to myself for far too long, and that ends now. So go, and let me handle this with the truth for once!’

  But Kohl spun around. ‘Name-calling isn’t going to erase his hurt, only make it worse! He’s suffering, Larkin, and-’

  ‘I’ll tell him about Karol,’ I said quickly, and my fingers went numb with fear at the idea of exposing Lindy like that. But Lindy was far enough away for me to be able to get a warning to her to get her family out of Calliel- whereas Kohl was right here in Eden and inexplicably vulnerable. ‘I’ll tell him about the deal I made about sleeping with him if he helped me get her and her family out of Arcadia before her third pregnancy was discovered, and I’ll tell him that I would have gone to him for help with that, and with the locust cure that Martya left me- but that I was so heartbroken by him sleeping with Emmerly the night before, that I could barely look at him, let alone trust him to help me,’ I said, chest tightening at the very idea of it, while Kohl’s face tightened up. ‘I was rash and stupid, and it’s my actions that have gotten us here- not yours- so I’ll take responsibility as I ought to. I’ll tell him that I regretted making the deal with Karol almost immediately after, but that it was already too late to take it back: that I’d given my word in exchange for the Trevasse family’s freedom, and as wretched as I feel, I stand by that decision, even now.’ I continued to propel Kohl backwards down the corridor as I spoke, gaining speed. ‘He’ll get even angrier with me after, and I don’t doubt that, but at least once he knows the whole truth, he’ll understand that Karol is the brother who has been standing between Kohén and I all of this time, not you- that Karol was going to deflower me and ruin me for marriage, even if Kohén managed to abstain, and so our love, as he calls it, has been damned since that day.’ I sighed. ‘Perhaps then, Kohén will put the blame on the brother who treats me like prey, and not the one who has done nothing but offer me comfort and guidance since I confided in him!’

  Kohl came to a dead halt and dropped everything he was holding to wrap his cool hands around my wrists. ‘Larkin!’ He shook his head, looking shocked. ‘Wait! Slow down and -’

  ‘No!’ I snapped, shaking my head and a few tears free. ‘I’m scared, I’m drunk and I am not going to stand idly by and watch you pay for all of our mistakes, okay?’ I released him, shoving him toward the throne room, which we were now only a few feet away from. ‘You either let me go out there and handle this Kohl, or I go out there, grab Shep’s mike and make a stream of public service announcements! In fact, I think I might do just that!’ I stepped around him, moving for the exit. ‘Attention Arcadia!’ I cried as he towed me backwards. ‘Think Karol Barachiel is a saint? Yeah well, while you were applauding us onstage earlier, he was feeling me up and reminding me that I have to fuck my way out of my contract on Sunday- oomph!’ I grunted, as Kohl caught me around the waist and flattened me back against the wall, moving one hand to cover my mouth while holding my hands clenched together at my hips.

  ‘Stop it!’ he cried, looking panicked. His eyes were neon blue once more. ‘Larkin I’ve had a bit too much to drink too, and I understand ager and despair- but if you follow through on either of these courses of action, you will damn yourself all the same!’

  I jerked my head- and mouth- free of his sweaty palm. ‘So I’ll damn myself!’ I protested. ‘I don’t care! But I won’t see you-’

  ‘I’ll still get punished for pursuing you!’ he hissed. ‘Maybe not killed and tossed into the tidal fall, no, but I’ll be whipped in the very least, or have my freedom revoked. And once this stuff is made public knowledge, dad will have no choice but to follow up on all of the accusations made, okay? My room in Caldera will be ransacked for your letters, the Trevasse family will be investigated and you…’ his brows pulled together, and he shook his head. ‘You’ll be inspected for sexual misconduct before you’re banished to prove that the allegations are true, little bird, only this time- it will be father and Shep doing the probing, probably while mother bears witness-’ my sob of horror silenced him, and he moved his hands to my shoulders, grimacing ‘Exactly,’ he whispered. ‘I know how much you hated that- how much all of the girls hate that- and I won’t see you endure it again, not when I can take the fall instead.’ He stepped back, raking his hands through his hair and looking agitated. ‘Besides, there’s no way they’ll be able to keep Kohén away from you until your trial. And he’s so obsessed with you…’ he shook his head, looking bereft. ‘He’ll find a way to take you hard enough to make you bleed and cry: ‘‘the accusations are false! I just deflowered her myself!” after. That way, I’ll still get punished for attempting to seduce his Companion via correspondence, but he’ll get to keep you under his thumb, don’t you see?’

  I pushed him away. ‘I don’t want this to become public knowledge, I don’t want Lindy and Coaxley to suffer, I don’t want to see you punished and I sure as hell don’t want to be banished. But if the alternative to all of the above is me getting branded in gold while you get killed, then I’ll have nothing to live for anyway, okay? No soul left to feel remorse for that third-born baby’s sake…’ tears began to leak out of my eyes, and they were scalding hot. ‘No reason to go on living.’

  Kohl cupped my face, steering it up and forcing me to look into his bright blue eyes. ‘What are you saying?’ he demanded.

  I pushed his hands off me. ‘Your compassion prevented me from throwing myself over the edge of the tidal fall on the night that I turned sixteen,’ I croaked, moving away again. ‘But it’ll be what drives me over the edge of it now, so please, just understand that nothing that you have to say will change the fact that I am drowning in guilt and dead inside anyway!’

  ‘What?’ he asked, paling. ‘What do you mean- about the night of your sixteenth? You’ve never mentioned having suicidal tendencies before!’

  I began to tremble all over. ‘Well I have them, okay? I suffer them constantly. But I always found some reason to push on… some separate strand of guilt that would eclipse whatever guilt had me wanting to die in the first place.’ I sniffled. ‘But there was nothing that night- nothing at all. He cut the ties between us when he wrapped himself around her, and I wanted to die.’ I met his alarmed eyes. ‘I was going out the window- I wanted to say goodbye to my Liberty, and then go to the falls….’ I swallowed but my throat was too stiff for me to work up any lubrication. ‘But there you were, with your jar of fireflies, offering up hope…’ my voice trailed off, and I shook my head and then twisted out of his grasp, taking advantage of his stupefaction and slackened fingers. ‘But I have nothing left to wish for now, Kohl, so if you want to help me make a dream come true for re
al- then just let me go!’ With a burst of energy, anger and hurt, I shot down the hall like a bullet out of a pistol.

  ‘Larkin, wait!’ he cried my name as though it were an astonishing thing in itself, and caught my wrist with one of his hands, jerking me back. ‘Are you saying that you’d take death over a life without me?’

  I looked into his eyes, wanting to say yes, but that wasn’t the truth. ‘No,’ I said honestly. ‘I’ll take death over a golden brand, because that was the one promise that I believed that he would keep, and evidence to the contrary will prove him utterly worthless, and end me. I’ll take death over having one more ruined life on my conscience, along with Kelia’s, my father’s and my mother’s…’ I lifted my chin. ‘And I’ll take death over living with the knowledge that good will never overcome evil... that love will lose to lust... that hopes exist only to be dashed.’ I pulled my hand out of his grip and took his ring off my finger, holding it out to him. ‘To living with the knowledge that I lead you on- and to certain death- for nothing!’

  Kohl stared down at the ring in his palm. ‘What do you mean by saying that you led me on?’ he demanded, looking up at me again. ‘You love me! You said so! That last night in Caldera, when we-’

  ‘I do love you!’ I whispered. ‘And that night was magical. But the way I feel for him…’ I tried to squirm out of his grip as my insides squirmed. ‘When I… when I ended things with you last night, I tried to tell myself that I was just doing what was right… distancing myself from the both of you in the name of maturity and kindness…’ I felt my features squish together as my face crumpled. ‘But he kissed me this morning Kohl, and that was all it took for me to realise that it’s always been him, okay?’ Kohl’s face contracted in anguish but I kept talking, hoping to hurt him so much that he’d push me over the edge of the fall himself before he attempted to stop me again. ‘I let the contract, our castes, his obligations and urges, Karol’s power… I let it all come between us because I never believed that what he and I had could be real. I used every excuse I could to sabotage it, because I wasn’t brave enough to hope that his wishes would come true. That I, a third-born whore in training, could be enough for a Nephilim prince.’ I wiped at my eyes. ‘For fear that holding onto such a dream would lead to nought but my undoing, and would crush me the way that losing my family’s love had already crushed me once before...’ I closed his fingers around the ring and squeezed his fist tightly shut. ‘And I was right- I see that now. The love he thinks that we have is the stuff of fairy tales, and couldn’t ever exist in a world like this… it’s a dream that only those born into privilege have the optimism to sustain.’ I swallowed. ‘But it felt real when he held me, and now that I know that he’ll never hold me again so tenderly, I know that I have nothing to live for- just as you should see that you have no reason to die for me! Because I’m just not worth it!’