by Stella Clark
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she offered a shy smile. “I’d like that. What—if you don’t mind, what have they said about me so far?”
“Papa’s home! Papa’s home! He’s back!”
A door slammed, and the two of them turned towards the house. She didn’t have a good view of the front door because of the way he’d parked them to the side. Squinting against the sunlight, she stood there anxiously, waiting to see what might happen next.
Anton left her side and ran onto the porch, scooping up one child and then the next until he was swinging them both around in his arms. Hollie couldn’t help but grin at the sight. She remembered how her father used to do that with her and her siblings, back when he had the energy to romp around with everyone. Drawn to the cheerful energy, she made her way over to the steps.
“Did you bring me a peppermint?” a little boy’s high voice demanded. That had to be Paul. He had the same hair as his father, she could see, and looked rather disheveled though she couldn’t tell if it was from something he had done or the way Anton ruffled it.
“Me too! Me too!” Little Jenny. Oh, how Hollie prayed for the hundredth time that she could do right by them.
Their father laughed. It was so deep and loud that she was caught off guard. The step beneath her squeaked and the children turned, realizing they weren’t alone. Jenny disappeared behind her father, and Paul crossed his arms. Hollie hesitated, her breath caught. That wasn’t a good sign. He looked like her brother, Michael, when he didn’t get his way.
“Of course I did,” Anton replied as though he hadn’t noticed the sudden change in his children. “And I brought you something better, too. Paul, Jenny, this is my new wife. Your new mother.”
That confident smile he gave her made Hollie dearly wish she could amount to deserving it someday. But she understood in that moment that everything was wrong. It was clear Anton hadn’t told his children about her. She was showing up on their doorstep and for all they thought, she was going to steal their father. Her heart dropped.
Without a place to hide or anything else to do, she made a quick decision to make the best of the new situation. Hollie stepped forward and put on her sweetest, sugariest smile that she gave her siblings whenever she was about to bribe them to behave better.
“Hello, Paul. Good afternoon, Jenny. I—I have heard so much about the two of you from your father. My name is Hollie M—well, I’m Hollie, and I’m very excited to be here with you.” She glanced up at Anton, who nodded her way. “Jenny,” she ventured, seeing the little girl peek out between her father’s legs and knowing she would most likely be the most pliable, “I’ve never been to this house. It’s very pretty and—and very big. Do you think you could show me around?”
The little girl had blonde hair that spun in soft curls over her shoulders as she glanced up at her father. Anton patted her head and smiled. “Go on. You can show her your room and the kitchen and everything. Go on. You’ll like her.”
He hadn’t been sure that would be enough, for Jenny was very shy. She wasn’t yet five, granted, but he could have sworn Paul had been more outgoing at that age. So when the blonde little angel slowly walked over and held out her hand to Hollie, Anton couldn’t have been more relieved. He knew he should have told the children sooner, but the words had been harder than he’d expected them to be. He watched them go. What a pair the two girls made, walking hand in hand into the house.
“Come on, Paul.” He reached out to ruffle his son’s hair again, hoping it would stay that soft forever. “Let the women talk for a minute and join me in the barn. The horses need to be brushed down.” The two of them made their way around the house. Anton watched the boy curiously, wondering why he’d fallen so quiet. Usually, Paul was full of stories whenever Anton returned. He made several attempts to engage him in conversation but nothing worked.
Paul worked carefully as Martha Reed packed up her children to go home. Luckily, she’d been kind enough to prepare supper, or a small wedding feast she’d called it, before they left. It was a delicious meal but even then, Anton couldn’t get a word out of the boy.
***
“I’m sure he’s fine.” He decided that evening after the children had been put to bed and the house was cleaned. Standing in front of Hollie at the base of his bed—well, their bed—they had a moment to themselves.
She offered a hesitant smile with a glance towards the door. “Perhaps it’s just shock, then.”
That made sense. He nodded and loosened the top button on his shirt. Only then did he glance down to see Hollie wringing her fingers. Anton opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but saw her eyes glance towards the bed and realized her concern.
“That chest …” He cleared his throat and gestured to the corner on her side, “can be used to store your dresses and nightclothes. I’ll … turn around if you want to change.”
“Oh? Oh! Oh, thank you.” Hollie flushed and glanced over. “That’s kind of you.”
The words sounded so formal. Unable to handle the nervous movements of her hands, Anton reached out and grabbed them. And he gave her his friendliest smile to let the girl know she didn’t have to be afraid of him. “You’re my wife now,” he reminded her, and then stalled, trying to find the right things to say. “We’re equal in this, in marriage. You know that, right? I’m not … I want you to be happy here. With us. Whatever it takes. Understand?”
She searched his eyes carefully until she was certain he was honest. And then she gave him that sweet smile all over again.
Chapter Five
Time heals all wounds, her mother used to say. Hollie stepped out onto the back porch the next morning, crossing her arms against the chill, and considered the scene before her. It was nothing like she’d ever seen before, and she wondered if she would ever get used to it. The mountains were so close and so tall. They even had snow on top of them, she marveled. Time did miraculous things.
It would melt the snow, it would get her comfortable in her new home, and quite hopefully, it would help Paul to warm up to her. He’d been through some hardships, so of course, it would take some time. The boy was already awake, watching her carefully from his room as she stepped out to put on her shoes. She’d invited him to join her, but the boy had turned away.
She didn’t blame him. Hollie simply hoped time would help. And in the meantime, she vowed, she would do everything she could to support them and help them and love them. Anton’s letters had already described Paul’s forward-thinking nature, telling her that he was both playful and intelligent. He could read and write well and did all the arithmetic problems at the school. Only they didn’t go too often, so he didn’t always have a lot to do. And Jenny—Anton had talked about all the sweet things she did for others like helping out, gathering flowers for everyone, and saving little birds with broken wings. Hollie had wanted to love them with all her heart since she’d received those letters and only more so now that she was there in Green Peak.
The Bible said that charity is the true love of Christ, she reminded herself, and one can do that by serving others. Hollie took a deep breath and after a good look at the view before her, she returned inside and started making flapjacks.
Anton was already out of the house, tending to the cows and goats. He’d woken Paul up to help with the chickens, and then released him to get a few more minutes in bed when he still wouldn’t talk. After moving the horses out to the pasture, he turned back to the house as well.
A familiar sniffing sound caught his attention, and he hurried towards the children’s rooms. He’d heard that sound much too often since they’d lost Julie, and it broke his heart every time. Before he could do anything, however, Hollie was there. The young woman wrapped the four-year-old in her arms and started humming. Jenny’s face was tearstained as she cradled her little doll.
“I’m sad,” the child pouted.
“You poor thing.” Hollie stroked her hair. “Well, I’m here for you. You be sad and I’ll sing you a song until you feel bett
er. Would that help?”
“Mhm.”
“Wonderful. Don’t you worry, I’m here for you.” And she started to hum again, an old familiar hymn. The worry in Anton’s shoulders faded as he watched the scene unfold with genuine surprise and relief. Any apprehension about Hollie had clearly faded with Jenny. Usually no one could console her about the terrible dreams she had so often. His eyes followed them around the room carefully, praying this wasn’t a dream.
When she made a turn around the room, Hollie finally noticed they weren’t alone. They said nothing to each other as she continued singing about Christ’s love in the spring, but he saw how the corners of her lips turned up, and she nudged her head towards the kitchen. Anton could only offer a nod before he allowed himself to be distracted with a delicious scent of maple syrup.
By the time he had finished eating, Jenny decided she wasn’t sad anymore and was ready to get dressed. Hollie offered to help but the girl decided she was old enough to do it on her own and disappeared speedily into her room.
“Does she usually do it all by herself?” Hollie chewed her lip, fixing the apron as she returned to the kitchen where Anton sat. The apron had been Julie’s, he realized, and as old feelings arose, he had to look away. “Should I go and check on her?”
He hesitated, staring at his boots. A rush of mixed emotions was running him over, and there weren’t any words to explain the pain and the fear. He licked his lips and tried to focus.
“I don’t rightly know, but … I think she’s fine.” Clearing his throat, he stood up. “I have to be going. I’m late for—we’re branding the calves today, you see, and my men will already be halfway through on the range. I’ll try and come back—around midday?”
Glancing around the kitchen, she picked up a plate. “Oh, right. Of course, yes. You … you have a job to do, after all. I’ll just … I’ll watch the children. And clean up,” she stammered, wondering why he wouldn’t look at her.
Ducking his head, Anton stood. Maybe when he came back she wouldn’t be wearing the apron. But it was the only one they had, he realized. A lump in his throat was forming and before it could get worse, he grabbed his hat and left.
Hollie watched, confused if she’d offended him. Fidgeting with her dress and apron, she wondered if she had done something wrong. Perhaps the flapjacks hadn’t tasted good enough. The young woman licked her lips and tried to tell herself she was being silly. He was a busy man with a ranch to run. He didn’t always have time for niceties. And besides, they had just been married yesterday. Everything would need time.
“I’m dressed! Dressed. See?” Jenny appeared, a perfect distraction. The sight of her attempted outfit for the day made Hollie chuckle. They were already going to be good friends, she knew, and so she hurried over to the girl. First she’d work on Jenny, and then she’d win over Paul.
Chapter Six
“Oh!” Hollie clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a scream. It was the fourth time she’d found an unexpected surprise in the house. Though they had come into a sort of rhythm in the three weeks she had been there, not everything on the schedule was to her liking.
Clearing her throat, she tried to gather her nerve and with a deep breath, pulled out her handkerchief to pick the dead toad off her seat. The least she could do was carefully bury it outside near the garden. Next to the snakeskin left in the sink. And where she’d left the live mouse that had been tucked in one of the kitchen drawers. Time, she reminded herself, they just needed more time. None of this was by accident, she knew, having raised several boys. Paul was just acting out because he didn’t know what else to do. But eventually, eventually, something good would happen.
Those were the worst of the things he did. Everything else she didn’t bat an eye at, such as leaving his clothes about, not cleaning his dishes, and attempting to refuse baths. Anton helped with the latter since the boy had grown more talkative around him. He’d even addressed her twice now, though only at his father’s insistence.
“He’s quiet still,” she shared with him frequently. “But we’re making progress, I’m certain of it.”
At night after they’d settled into bed, Hollie’s thoughts would wander, and she questioned again if she should tell Anton about what Paul was really doing. They were married now, and there weren’t supposed to be secrets in a marriage. Those were about trust, after all, and honesty. But she didn’t want him to fight her battles for her, and then she worried about pitting the two boys against each other. What could she do?
No, Paul needed his father. She couldn’t do that to the boy who was clearly struggling. There was no need to start a fight, to get Paul angry at her and have Anton need to choose between them. Just the idea made her shudder. Watching her siblings argue like that and pick sides had always bothered her. In this new family, she promised then and there, she would never do such a thing.
Once the frog was properly buried, she returned inside to wash her hands. Her eyes drifted to the children playing with wooden toys on the rug as she turned to the sink to wash her hands and continue supper.
Before she could reach it, however, her hip nudged a chair sticking out a little too far. Her heart caught. The chair had been precariously supporting the pot of stew on the table. It wasn’t supposed to be on the table, let alone held up with a chair. With the chair’s movement, the pot spun and even as she jumped for it, Hollie was too late.
“No!” Broth and carrots and potatoes scattered on the dirty floor. She stumbled, arms outstretched as though to rescue part of it, any of it. It was laundry day, which required most of her time, so she had gathered the basics to prepare a simple meal for the evening. Anton would be returning soon, and her heart skipped a beat in dismay. Supper was ruined and now, so was the kitchen.
The house had gone silent as the children watched. Her eyes stung. Hollie swallowed a lump in her throat, telling herself not to be silly. This was no time to cry. A child’s resentment was not a good enough reason to react negatively, not when he didn’t understand everything and not when he was still wishing for his mother.
Balling her hands into fists, she took a deep breath. And then another. Being embarrassed was natural, she tried to tell herself, but this was an opportunity to grow and be better. Knowing she had left the pot next to the fireplace on a chair, Hollie had to accept that Paul had done this. He was trying to chase her away, but she was the adult and she needed to be responsible about this.
Hollie went back down on her hands and knees to gather up the vegetables for the pigs. Once that was handled, she started to clean. She was nearly halfway through when the familiar sound of footsteps reached the porch. Jenny and Paul were out the door as they ran to their father. Hollie watched as Anton swung them around as he had the first time she’d seen them together, all of them laughing merrily, and her heart warmed.
“How were the cattle today?” Paul asked brightly when his father turned his attention to him. Anton raised his eyebrow, wondering why the boy had grown so interested in the ranch lately. “Did you lead them all to the river?”
With a smile, he nodded and led the children inside. “I sure did. We’ve got some nice river water in our wild, wild creek, and they enjoyed a mighty fine day.” He was just describing something his foreman, Peter Reed, had done when he turned to Hollie. “Something smells good. What’s for supper?”
The bright smile she’d worn a second ago disappeared. “I … I’m afraid I spilled it.” Her gaze dropped. “My sincerest apologies. We have some fresh apples on the counter. I saved those, and you could eat them while I start on something new? I’m sorry, Anton, I’ll fix this for all of us just as soon as I can.”
Chewing on his tongue, he studied her for a moment. This wasn’t the first time their evening meal had been ruined. But he didn’t think he asked for much, just having the expectation that there would be food on the table and the house would be maintained. It didn’t make a lot of sense what was happening now, but he didn’t know what to say. The fact that she would
n’t meet his gaze now further confused him. “You spilled it?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.”
“Did you trip over something?”
She hesitated, rocking on her feet as though she had to think about it. “Well, perhaps.”
This wasn’t helping anyone. “You don’t know?” He shook his head when she shrugged. But it didn’t look like she had anything else to say. Anton sighed before noticing how quiet the room was. Both children still held his hands. Glancing at them, he reminded himself to be a good father. Hollie was only doing her best, after all. Surely if something was wrong, she would tell him. There was no reason to be mad at her.
“I’m sorry,” his wife volunteered once again.
Her wide eyes reminded him that she was still young herself. For a moment, he felt guilt for the unkind way he had treated her. The girl was wringing her hands anxiously, a sign he recognized now to be that she was terribly nervous.
She wasn’t old enough to even have a child like Paul yet. The East Coast grew soft women, he knew, but Hollie was a strong one. He just couldn’t seem to read her right. So he gave up and tried to better the situation for them. “It’s just fine,” he declared, glancing at his children. “Supper doesn’t mean everything. And mistakes happen. We’ll make the best of this. Who wants an apple?”
Jenny’s arm leapt into the air. “Me! Me! I do!”
Chapter Seven
“Here we are,” Anton announced as the wagon came to a stop. He jumped out, tying the horses before he reached Hollie’s side. She waited patiently for him to help her down, and then to get the children as well. Afterwards, he held out his arm to lead them into the church building.