by Stella Clark
It was odd, Hollie had decided, that they had one pastor who traveled frequently between towns. But because of the size of the towns and the space between them, she found that understandable. Everything was simply so spread out and far apart that it was hard to remember things moved slower in Montana. She was only disappointed that she couldn’t attend church every week. Two weeks ago, they had planned to come, but Anton was needed to help a sick calf, and they’d had to miss the sermon.
So she was more than happy to finally make it to church. Glancing at her new little family in their Sunday best, a small seed of hope sprouted within her heart.
Only she noticed everyone’s eyes were on hers as they entered the building. Hollie’s grip tightened on Anton’s arm. In return, he placed his other hand on top of her own and offered her a small smile. “Let’s take a seat,” he said, pointing to one particular row. “I’m afraid everyone’s going to be mighty curious about you,” he added once they’d taken a seat.
“Oh?” Her eyes widened.
“Don’t worry. They’ll wait until after the sermon to come talk to us.”
Anton meant that to be reassuring, Hollie knew, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Her heart skipped a beat and again, her eyes darted around. What were they all thinking? What did they know about her? Or was he surprising everyone as well, like he’d done to his children? She could hardly sing the opening hymn, her thoughts were so sidetracked.
It was the same pastor who had married them. What was his name? She couldn’t recall, but he smiled when he noticed the two of them. Though his tone never wavered, the man nodded his head in her direction. Anton must have noticed as well because he scooted closer to close the space between them.
Pastor Williams was addressing the topic of charitable love in his sermon. The Bible quotes he referenced and the hymns they sang made Anton think. He had known he loved his Julie from the moment he saw her. They were only kids but she had come West in the wagons, and they’d stopped in Indiana when her mother fell ill. When the woman passed, her father didn’t want to leave her grave, so they’d stayed. Anton had spent the next ten years convincing Julie they were meant to be together. With her father’s approval, they’d married and started their own journey West. He’d fallen in love with the land at first sight, and he’d loved his two children upon knowing of their existence.
His gaze dropped down to his knee, seeing how his thigh brushed against Hollie’s blue dress. It was a pretty dress and made her eyes shine. Though hesitant, she always invited his touch and put forth effort to make him happy. He searched his feelings for her, wondering what it was that he felt for her. A fondness, certainly, but there was still so much they didn’t know about one another. So much was still unsaid; she hesitated when she spoke to him in private, and she was always very careful and deliberate whenever she touched him. They had a good relationship, Anton thought, but something felt different.
Love was a funny thing. It breathed within people in strange ways and as Pastor Williams spoke of long-suffering, Hollie’s gaze dropped past her husband to the little boy. To their little boy. She was only eighteen years old and though she’d only been a Delaney for a month, her heart was full for Paul. Life was hard in general, and he was going through so much that all she wanted to do was hold him tight. If only he would let her.
They sang the final hymn and immediately, people began to mill around, walking over to their friends. And now, Hollie’s heart skipped a beat, to her.
“Now, Mr. Delaney, who might you have brought all the way out here to our little town of Green Peak, Montana?” The first woman, a redhead, proclaimed loudly.
Hollie swallowed tight. But before she could start wringing her hands anxiously, Anton subtly took one of them in his and intertwined their fingers. It was like he had read her mind. Though quiet and often distracted, he still treated her well and tenderly. A small sense of relief trickled through her body, helping her to relax.
“It’s good to see you, Mrs. Smith,” Anton started slowly.
“She’s my new mama!” Jenny announced eagerly, taking up Hollie’s other hand. Biting back a chuckle, she squeezed the girl’s hand in return. Now this little one was the easiest to love, she knew without a doubt. Hollie wondered how lucky she was to be with a good family. And hopefully, someday, they’d all love one another.
Until then, Hollie tried to put her best foot forward to the town. “Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Hollie Delaney. It’s lovely to meet every one of you. Mrs. Smith, was it?”
Chapter Eight
“Are you sure?”
She stopped biting her lip and offered her husband a tight smile. He asked her that all the time, just in case she wasn’t certain. Though Hollie firmly believed that he meant well, being asked that question repeatedly was a little tiresome.
“I am, yes. The ranch is important, after all. You’ve told me enough about the animals out there that I trust you’ll keep yourself safe. And your men, of course.” Hollie finished tying the braid and pinned it up around her head. “One night should be fine.” To her relief, her voice didn’t waver.
Still, it didn’t set well with Anton. He had left for a few nights at a time, covering his land and tracking the animals in the pastures. But it would be the first time they spent a night apart since she’d arrived, and she didn’t blame him for not feeling confident about leaving this time around. Internally, Hollie was terrified. Anything might come their way. Strangers, natives, bears, mountain lions, snakes, and worse. Most would keep to themselves, but trouble could come from anywhere, and Hollie didn’t know how to handle anything outside of a house.
With a sigh, Anton took a step forward, but didn’t reach for her. Instead, he fiddled with his hat. “I should have taught you how to shoot. That would make me feel mighty better, knowing you could protect yourself. Paul knows a thing or two, and we’ve talked about it plenty, but I still don’t like it.” He wore a deep frown, and she watched the crease in his forehead grow deeper.
“Nor do I,” she offered, taking a step closer. Hollie searched his eyes, trying to see if he worried because of the house or because of her. How much did he care for his second wife? She tried not to think such thoughts, knowing she had accepted this particular role for what it was, but sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder. “But you have to take care of this ranch. When you do, you’re taking care of us. It’s like how I take care of the house; it’s for all of us.”
“You said it yourself,” she reminded him. “Paul can help if someone comes. I’ll keep the bolts in, and we’ll keep the windows shut. You’ve done this before, and you’ll do it again. I’m positive all will be well, Anton.”
Though she looked more serious than he’d ever seen her before, Anton couldn’t help but be reminded that she was still a young woman. He knew she woke up at the wolves howling and jumped when animals crossed their paths. Studying her face, he remembered again just how pretty she was. Not a typical beauty, but there was this reservoir of strength within her and, combined with the compassion she gave to his children every day, she was a remarkable woman. How had she ended up here with them?
The question made him uncomfortable, and he looked away. Things had always been so easy with Julie. He just wished he could remember how that had happened and how to make it work with Hollie as well. The pain of losing his beloved had yet to fade and some mornings, he woke up expecting still to see her, confused to find someone in her place. Had he tried too soon to replace her?
No, he wasn’t replacing Julie. There was always room for more in the family. That’s what she had always told him. They’d talked about it when Paul was on the way; Julie had demanded he be ready to marry again if anything ever happened to her. It was for the children. For Julie’s children.
“All right.” He cleared his throat. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully before sunset.”
“Right,” she nodded. “I will see you then.”
For another second, they studied one another�
��s gaze. Hollie wondered if he would kiss her or take her hand in a rare moment of affection. Just something to show that he cared. But instead, Anton stepped back with a short smile and grabbing his coat, headed out of the room.
Hollie tugged at her fingers. The man was tender with her, patient and kind. He didn’t do anything that upset her and carefully respected her choices and boundaries. He was a good man, and she was fortunate. She knew this. Yet part of her continued to hope that the fondness could be something more. Taking a deep breath, she sighed and sent God a little prayer of gratitude and then a petition for everyone’s safety.
The back door banged shut. He was gone. She fixed her skirts and stepped out to find the children watching their father leave. Paul held Jenny close in silence, and Hollie thought of her siblings. Everyone needed some support. Her heart went out to them, knowing the ache of a loved one needing to leave, and she resolved to do something about it.
“There you two are.” She forced a cheerful smile as she bent down. “Don’t you two worry about a single thing, my dearest little ones. Papa will be back before you know it. Now, how do you think we might distract ourselves until his return? What about some pie, perhaps? Who wants to help me in the kitchen?”
Jenny’s eyes lit up. “I do! Pies are my favorite food.”
“That won’t make Papa come back,” Paul scowled. “And you’re not my mother!”
Hollie swallowed and shook her head as she straightened up. “No, Paul. I know that. And I’m glad you know that. You had a mother. A wonderful one, from what Anton has shared with me. She was beautiful and kind, and she loved you very much.” She smiled, simply wishing he would meet her gaze. If only he could understand how much she wanted to love him and care for him. “I’m only here to help. And to, perhaps, prepare some pie. Which is your favorite? We could always save one for Papa, don’t you think? He’ll return, after all. He always does. Papa would never leave you. He loves the two of you so much. You know he has a responsibility to the ranch, remember? But he’ll be back …”
“Well, he doesn’t love you.” Paul pushed her outstretched hand away and stomped off.
She watched him go, her throat tight. Jenny came over to clutch Hollie’s skirts. They stood there quietly as Paul found his boots, put them on in a huff, and headed outside to tend the chickens. He ignored both of them, the strong and frustrated eight-year-old that he was.
Perhaps not today or even tomorrow would he like her, Hollie accepted. But she’d raised her siblings and even after all their fights and squabbles and problems, everyone forgave eventually. His outburst hurt her, just as it was intended. She forgave him. With the Lord on her side, she’d wait years if that’s what it took to show how much she loved the boy.
“All right.” Hollie cleared her throat and looked down at Jenny’s furrowed brow. “Shall you be my little helper then? What sort of pie shall we bake, hm?”
Chapter Nine
Paul refused the pie, but the moment Hollie turned her back, she found another slice missing and Paul in his room. It made her smile but she said nothing when he returned with a spot of powdered sugar on his cheek.
Once the kitchen was carefully cleaned, she started on a vegetable pie and bread for supper. Then there was cleaning to do, some laundry to take down, and weeding in the garden. Jenny trailed along curiously, helping where she could. The child made for good company and loved every story Hollie shared, whether it was new or she’d heard it several times before.
There was always something to do. Although the list of things that needed to be done often felt overwhelming, it helped distract Hollie from thinking too hard. She was able to distract herself until after the children had gone to bed, forgetting it would be her first night alone with an empty bed in this strange world.
Growing up in Boston, she’d always shared a bed with her sisters. Glancing around the bedroom now shared with Anton, she felt the fear creeping back in from when he’d first told her he wouldn’t come home that night.
Shuddering, she hurried into the bed and considered leaving the lamp lit for the entire night. Under the covers, Hollie changed into her nightgown and clasped her hands together for a prayer. As she said “amen,” the door creaked.
Whirling around, her heart nearly stopped when she found Jenny with a long face. “Can I come in?” the child whimpered. “I’m scared.”
She opened her arms immediately, and the fear faded as she prioritized caring for the child. “Of course, darling. Come.”
The girl ran and scrambled into her lap. Jenny was all skin and bones, but she smelled as sweet as rain in Hollie’s arms. “It was a bad dream with mean monsters,” Jenny sniffled. “Papa couldn’t make them go away.”
Hollie tutted. “Nonsense. Your papa can do anything. He will always protect you.” As she kissed the girl’s head, the door creaked again and to her surprise, Paul was there. The boy yawned, and it gave her a moment to gather herself. “And see? Paul is here, Jenny. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to any of us.”
Glancing around the room carefully, Paul cleared his throat and requested, “I wanted to check on Jenny. I heard her running.”
In response, Hollie flung back the covers on the large bed. “Join us, Paul. It’s just for this one night, however, understood?” She gave Jenny a firm glance. “You are both growing children, and it’s important you learn to mend yourselves together after a bad night. Tonight is just the exception.” Jenny climbed off her lap and settled down in the middle of the bed. Paul hesitantly climbed onto the other half, never meeting Hollie’s gaze. She wasn’t certain if her words were true, but she wanted to be ready in case Anton didn’t approve.
Anton had told her how the children used to share Paul’s room. But Julie, his first wife, had noticed that the two children lost rest whenever one of them woke up before sunrise. She had insisted they add a room and so it had been done, giving Jenny her own space. Hollie couldn’t imagine having a room to herself like that, for she’d always had all of her siblings to keep her company.
Then she wondered about ever having her own children. She hadn’t talked about that with Anton, Hollie realized, and wondered if she should. Did he want more children? As a girl, she’d been raised with the expectancy she’d have her own babe in her arms someday. Glancing down at Jenny, she knew she was already lucky. But the thought of a baby to hold and cherish, her own baby, made her yearn for more.
As she hummed, Hollie watched the children fall asleep. Once they were settled, she turned the lamp off for the flame to die and tried to rest as well. It was a long night for all of them, but the sun still rose as expected and lit up the room at dawn.
This was the only clock Paul needed to wake up. Creeping out of the bed, he shot the two girls a glance and went to put on his clothes. By the time he finished the chores, the girls were up and about. Paul did his best to avoid the older woman.
Not that she was very old. He wrinkled his nose at her but she gave him a wink in return. It bothered him that so little of what he did worked on her. She wouldn’t scream, and she wouldn’t run. Why wouldn’t she just leave them be? Shaking his head, he stepped back outside.
It was summer but he could feel the chill in the air. That was Montana. School had taught him that they were nearly in Canada and that’s why it was so cold all year round. All the animals knew it, too, grabbing the sunshine they could and huddling close to the others to prepare for the incoming cold.
He glanced toward the mountains again. Was that where his father was? Papa had promised to take him further out, but hadn’t made good on it. With a groan, he started to pace. He was tired of being cooped up out here. Hadn’t he been told he was a grown boy? Almost a man? The home life was too boring, especially when he knew he could be helping out Papa with the ranch and the cattle. But he never got close to the cattle.
“Paul!” Jenny scampered out. “Mama said we could play. Do you want to play horses with me?”
“No,” Paul frowned. “I don’t like playing h
orses.” Nor did he want to babysit. And he especially didn’t like how Jenny called Hollie “Mama.” He kicked the bottom step of the porch. “This is dumb.” That’s when an idea struck, and he glanced towards the fields.
“I’m not dumb,” Jenny pouted. “I’m four.”
His father was already out there. If Paul could go meet him, perhaps Papa would show him everything. He couldn’t say no then. His papa would see then how he was a man and not just a boy to be left behind at the house.
Paul looked at Jenny and wrinkled his nose. “Go play with Hollie. You like how funny she talks. Go make her tell you another story, you hear? I still have chores. Stop bothering me.”
“I’m not dumb,” Jenny repeated. “You’re dumb.” Then she scurried away as he had hoped.
He glanced towards the open windows. Not willing to get caught, Paul slipped around to the side of the house where he knew Hollie couldn’t see him. It would take him longer, but it would prevent him from being seen. If he was lucky, he’d find his father before noon.
Chapter Ten
It was perfectly round with a sweet blackberry syrup tucked nicely within the folds. Hollie chuckled, glancing at the little hole where Jenny’s finger had accidentally broken through. Glancing at the girl, she winked. “You won’t tell Papa, will you?”
“Just one piece, please?” Jenny’s eyes opened wide.
“One piece it is,” Hollie brought out the knife. She cut three pieces and wrapped the rest for later. They’d made it through a day and night without Anton, but he’d be back soon, and she wanted to have a surprise for him. It had also helped pass the time without him.
The girls took their plates to the table but as Jenny started to eat, the young woman glanced around for Paul. It was past midday and he hadn’t come out for a while. “I’ll return in a moment,” she murmured and went to check around the house. “Paul? Paul, we’re having another slice of pie. Would you like one?”