Break Away: A Midwest Small Town Romance

by Vanessa Sheets

  “Yeah, you are not really selling this whole love thing.” I jump down and push him in Becca’s direction.

  “It’s worth it, I promise.” He gives me a look of uncertainty over his shoulder, but keeps walking.

  EVERYONE BUT CORBIN AND Becca have left. The sun is just starting to set, and they are out back getting the fire going while I throw the rest of the paint supplies in the back of his car. I shut the door and stand in front of my house, admiring the huge change that our hard work has made. I pull my phone out of the back pocket of my jean shorts and take a picture to post online. I have never posted so much as I have in the last few months. But then again, I really didn’t have anything good to post before. Before I post it, I send it to Noah. While I am editing my upload online, he responds and I open his text.

  Looks amazing!!!!

  I smile at those two words and text back.

  Thanks! Took all day but well worth it!

  I upload my pic to my social media pages and head back to the fire. Sitting across from Corbin and Becca, I notice they are hitting it off and can’t help but smile.

  Ting

  Wish I would have known. I would have paid someone to do it for you.

  That’s why I didn’t tell you. You have done enough.

  Corbin and Becca walk over to me with a shot and we all three tap them together.

  Ting

  I wish I could do more.

  No... really Noah. I don’t know if I told you this. But thank you for everything. I miss you and wish you were here.

  Ting

  I would do it a million times over. I told you before, you are the only thing I’ve done right in my life. And me, too. :-(

  I throw back my shot and sit, just staring into the fire. A feeling of sadness fills me up.

  How can a man that did all this for me, who didn’t have any obligation to help me, feel like that? I fumble for my phone and start texting him back.

  Noah Edward Stine, I don’t know what it is that has broken you to the point of you feeling that I am the only thing that you have done right in life, but you are the most compassionate and caring man that I have ever met. The way you were with Enzo, with me!! You saved me and I will never forget that!!!

  I sit back in my chair and start tearing at the label of my beer.

  Ting

  It’s bad enough to keep me away from you.

  I close out my messages and get lost in the stars that dance in the sky above me.

  Only you, Sofia Lombardi.

  Only I would find someone that would go to the ends of the earth to protect me and everyone I love, everything that I stand for... and it not be written in the stars for me to be with him.

  It is October now. My first summer away from home was one for the books. Full of bonfires, four wheelers and several nights with Corbin and Becca, welcoming the next day's rising sun.

  I have a love-hate relationship with fall. Yes, the colors of the leaves are picturesque, but they are also a grim reminder that soon, they will fall to the ground and months of cold days stuck inside are just around the corner. One of the downfalls of living in the Midwest.

  Halloween, however, I love. Dressing up and running around town collecting candy? I mean what’s not to love? And this year is by far the best one yet.

  Mrs. Carlson is taking Lorenzo trick-or-treating and we have conjured up a brilliant and fool proof plan so that I can see him without my mom being any the wiser. Unfortunately, Enzo won’t know it’s me, but I need to see him and if this is the only way, I am doing it.

  So, here I am, standing at my door handing candy out to princesses and Minecraft characters while everyone my own age is at Corbin's Halloween party. And I am perfectly fine with that.

  I get to see him.

  I put great efforts into making sure that he won’t have the foggiest idea that it’s me. I spent more money on a costume than I have ever spent before. A cape that covered my body and a witch mask that covered my whole head. $65 on Amazon and worth every single penny.

  As I drop mini–Hershey Bars into the bucket of a little girl wearing a vampire costume, I glance up and see Mrs. Carlson. She is making her way up my porch steps and I start searching for Enzo. The little girl runs away and yells back at me, “thank you!” as she darts down the stairs.

  And then, there he is staring up at me. His blond curls are peeking out of a Batman cape and he holds his pillowcase out to me, open and ready.

  “Trick-or-treat.” His sweet little voice is music to my ears. It was the last thing that I heard before I fell asleep at night and the first thing that I woke up to.

  For seven years.

  God, did I miss the sound of his voice.

  I am struck by the moment and try to soak up every single piece of him. The way his tiny fingers grasp his pillowcase, how his eyes twinkle with anticipation of what kind of candy I’m

  going to drop into his bag and I suddenly have the urge to scoop him up in my arms and cling to him like nothing I have ever clung to before.

  The moment is broken by the sound of Mrs. Carlson's voice, who I am sure is well aware that I just may take hold of him and run inside. Locking the door behind me.

  “Well, if that isn’t the scariest witch costume I have seen tonight!” She bursts out in laughter, filling the night with a way about her that only she has.

  My eyes slowly meet hers as I pull myself together and drop a handful of candy into Enzo’s pillowcase.

  “I love that costume; what are you a clown? A ghost? A—”

  “Noooo, silly. I’m Batman.” He drops his pillowcase next to him and jumps into a pose.

  “Ooh, I should have known.” He grabs up his bag and pulls on Mrs. Carlson's hand.

  “Can we go, can we go. I want to fill my pillowcase all the way to the top.” She looks down at him and places her hand lovingly on the top of his head.

  “Yes, child. Just a second. And I doubt that my feet are going to make it long enough for you to fill that sack up.” My heart sinks at the thought of him leaving so soon.

  The bag that I made for him.

  “Don’t you leave just yet, hold on... I have something for you.” He scrunches his face at me, and I go inside to grab it. I step out onto the front porch to find a group of kids making their way towards me and I grab the bowl of candy and set it on the steps so they can help themselves. I don’t want anyone interrupting the limited time that I have with my brother. I turn and see that he has found my porch swing. His tiny little legs are pumping as he tries to get it moving.

  “This is the coolest thing ever.” His smile is as big as the feelings in my heart right now.

  “Do you mind if I sit with you?” He looks over to Mrs. Carlson, and she nods her head.

  “I think that would be fine, Lorenzo.” I sit down on the swing and push my feet gently off the ground. It begins moving and we laugh.

  “Whatcha got there?” He points at the dinosaur backpack that's sitting on my lap.

  “Oh, this is for you.” I hand it to him and his face lights up.

  “Me? Wow!” He struggles to keep it on his little lap, and I reach over and support it so it doesn’t fall to the ground. “This is heavy.” I chuckle and unzip it for him.

  “Look insid—”

  “Holy cow!” He starts pulling out all of the things that I stuffed inside it. Matchbox Cars, a stuffed light up dog, electric toothbrush, a fleece blanket, two outfits and two pairs of pajamas. The giggles that are coming from him fill up my front porch, and the emptiness that I live with every day, disappears.

  We sit, swinging on my porch swing and talk about as much as ten minutes will allow. He loves first grade. He can spell cat and dog and hates gym because it makes him tired. His favorite class is recess, and he has a friend named Cory. Who is a boy because girls are icky. Except his sister. She is a girl, and she is the best. He misses her and doesn't know why she went away.

  The stinging in my eyes is instant and I bite down on my bottom lip until it h
urts, trying to stop myself from crying. But it doesn’t work. Thank God I have this mask on.

  “Well, Mr. Lorenzo, we better get going if you want to fill that bag.” I help him put his things back in his bag, zip it up, and hand it to Mrs. Carlson. As she takes it, she grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. She holds my gaze with kind but sad eyes. “All right, let's get going. Tell the nice lady thank you.” He jumps down off the swing, picks up his pillowcase and swings it over his shoulder.

  “Thank you!” And he is down the steps before we have time to blink. He stops at the candy bowl and begins digging through it.

  I can’t take my eyes off him. I want to soak in every second that I can get. “Thank you so much for doing this.” I reach out and gently rub her arm. She smiles at me, a smile that could warm the glaciers in Antarctica.

  “He needs to be with you. You are what he needs. She isn’t doing well. She’s getting worse, Sofia.” I look into her concerned eyes and shake my head slowly.

  “I tried. The state said there was no probable cause to take him away from her. Not even after you called them anonymously. She will never hand him over to me.”

  She draws in a deep, shaky breath and adjusts the backpack on her arm. “It’s a shame. Such a shame. I will make sure to keep this at my house.” She taps the bag with her hand and heads down the steps, gently taking Enzo’s hand in hers.

  I stand at the top of my steps and watch them turn and head down the sidewalk. They get smaller and smaller, until the cold October night swallows them up whole.

  I DON’T KNOW WHAT possessed me to think that going into his room was a good idea. But here I am at two in the morning, curled up on his bed, staring off into the dark. A bed that he has never even slept on.

  It’s funny how you think that you know it all, that you have the world by the balls when you are young. I used to blame the hell out of Noah and Crew, for everything that happened in the last year of my life. My mother kicking me out, not being able to get custody of Lorenzo; hell, I was so pissed off at the world there may have been a few times that I blamed them for me stubbing my toe. Had they never entered my life, everything would have worked out so much differently. But would it have?

  I wipe at my eyes and roll over onto my back. I let myself get lost in the LED galaxy lights that dance on the ceiling.

  Oh, would he ever love these lights!

  I replay tonight over and over in my head as I drift off to sleep. His giggles, his smile, how much he loved the porch swing. I will hold onto these memories and the feeling of contentment that fills me until I hold him in my arms again.

  IT’S TWO DAYS AFTER Halloween and I'm taking down the fake spider webs that are wrapped around my porch posts.

  I curse these fake webs; they stick to nothing that you want them to and everything that you don’t. I am relieved when my phone starts ringing, and I abandon the bunched-up cotton to see who it is.

  I’m sure someone who is concerned about my car warranty.

  Mrs. Carlson’s name lights up on my screen and I swipe, answering without hesitation.

  “Sofia, I hate to bother you with this, but something isn’t right.”

  “No, no... not at all. What’s up?” I don’t like the tone of her voice. She sounds frazzled.

  “I was supposed to watch Enzo yesterday and when I went to pick him up, nobody answered. I have tried to call and went back today. She isn’t answering her phone, or the door and I don’t know what to do.” She sighs into the phone and I run into the house to grab my keys.

  “I’m on my way.”

  The three-minute drive feels like an hour and every scenario is playing out in my head.

  She passed out and hit her head.

  She isn’t home and he’s home alone.

  She lost her temper with him and hurt—

  No. Stop!

  Everything is going to be fine.

  But I can’t shake this unexplainable feeling that is seeping into every vein that runs through my body.

  I open my door as I slam my jeep into park and my feet can’t move fast enough up the front steps. I whip the mat away, grab the key and jam it into the doorknob. The front door swings open and the smell that I walk into makes me gag. I cover my face with my hand, trying to stifle the stench that is thick in the air.

  It’s so quiet. Just the humming from the refrigerator penetrating my ears. The curtains are drawn, making it hard for me to see, so I start whipping them back forcefully. I trip over things that are strewn out all over the floor and feel my breathing quicken.

  I start to panic. The tingling starts in my fingertips and toes and makes its way up my arms and legs, trying to paralyze me. I clamp my eyes shut and tell myself to pull it the fuck together.

  I take a deep breath and open my eyes, slowly regaining control of my body. The sun fills the trailer now, forcing me to take in my surroundings. Dishes fill the sink and make their way down the counters, landing in a pile on top of the stove. The kitchen table is covered with empty cereal boxes, dirty bowls, and empty milk cartons. Empty liquor bottles and cigarette packs gather on the coffee table, on top of the fridge and pour out of the garbage can. As I walk around, in complete shock as to what I am seeing, my feet stick to the floor. I step over toys that are everywhere and slowly start making my way down the hall.

  “MOM...ENZO.”

  Silence.

  I go to Lorenzo’s room first. His door is cracked but when I try to push it open, it won’t budge.

  “LORENZO!”

  I slam my shoulder against it and it moves just enough for me to slide my head into the room. I don’t see him and frantically look behind the door, finding nothing more than toys and clothes piled waist high.

  He isn’t in here.

  My nostrils burn from the horrid smell as I race to my old room. I gag as my eyes dart around it wildly. White garbage bags are thrown on my bed, waste dumping out of them. My TV is lying on the floor, the screen smashed. My dresser is nothing but a shell, the drawers tossed in all corners, broken in pieces. My posters are nothing more than ripped up shards of paper, just barely hanging on the walls.

  I turn around and stare at my mother’s closed bedroom door. I walk up to it and place my hand on the handle, turning it slowly and pushing it open.

  The scream that comes out of me pierces the silence and rattles my insides as my mind tries to absorb the horror that lays out in front of me.

  “OH MY GOD!”

  I clasp my hands over my mouth as I feel the floor become one with my knees. I kneel next to my mother’s bed and grab onto her mattress as I start shaking it madly, screaming out her name.

  She isn’t moving.

  “No... no... no... no—”

  Her eyes are open, but they are no longer blue. A gray, hollow color has washed over them. Her blond hair is matted to her forehead and her lips are parted and purple. Dried vomit and blood pools around her head on the bed. I touch her face, my hand trembling, and instantly pull away.

  She is cold.

  So cold.

  She is wearing no more than a bra and panties and my eyes trail down her still body. My mind begins spinning as I try to process what I am seeing.

  She’s dead.

  I rip my phone out and dial 911 as I push off the floor and begin pacing, my fingers wrapping around my other arm in a death grip. The rings in my ear seem to last forever before a man answers.

  “My mom... she’s de... dead. I need someone to come NOW!” I turn away from her and stare out into the hall. Tears cover my phone and trail down my arm.

  “Ok, calm down. We will send someone right away. Can you give me your address?” I ramble off the numbers to our trailer several times and force myself to look back over my shoulder.

  She’s dead.

  “Can you tell me what happened to her?” I try to control the sobbing that has completely taken over my body, but it is no use. I press my head against the door frame and stare down at the floor, breathing heavily into the pho
ne. “We are sending the ambulance, it’s on its way. What is your name?”

  “Sofia.”

  “Ok, Sofia. Do you know what happened to her?” I shake my head as if he can see me and glance back at her lifeless body.

  That is when I see it. Her arm stretched out as if reaching for me. Wrapped around it is a rubber band. I clamp my eyes shut and quickly turn my head, as if that will make this go away.

  “Drugs. Her arm has a band around it. Heroin? I don’t know, some kind of drug.” I feel the panic that has consumed me for the past few minutes turn to a hollow, terrifying emotion that envelopes my entire soul. The air suddenly feels thick, and I need to get out of here. I storm down the hallway, trying to put as much distance as I can from the holy terror that is laying in my mother’s room.

  “Is there anyone else with you? Is anyone else in the house?” His question stops my feet from moving past the kitchen and my eyes land on one of my brother’s trucks.

  “My brother. He lives here...but he’s not here. I don’t know where he is!” My vision becomes cloudy as I hear the sirens in the distance getting closer. I drop down to a kitchen chair as if in slow motion and stare off into a darkness of what if’s.

  Where is he...

  CORBIN WAS THE FIRST to get there. I vaguely remember him rushing past me and down the hall to where my mother was.

  Dead.

  I don’t remember much after that. It was a blur of chaos with sirens burning my eardrums and red and blue lights dancing on the walls around me.