Dark Ride

by Iain Rob Wright

  “Then crack ’em open, baby. The party starts now!”

  Samantha turned back to look at him. “I thought the party started back at the train station?”

  Ben shrugged. “That was the pre-show.”

  Ashley got the beers.

  Chapter Five

  As AJ had predicted, the meat of the journey took about ninety minutes. Ten minutes ago, he had pulled off the motorway, and then the dual carriageway. Now he was turning on to a cracked and dirty B-road. Weeds invaded the tarmac and a pair of twisted steel legs jutted out of the nearby ditch where a road sign would once have stood.

  “This is it,” said AJ. “I can remember coming down here with my mum as a kid. These trees were all cut back, and there was a big sign with a picture of Alfred the Great on it, holding a big sword.”

  “Alfred the who?” Ashley asked.

  “I dunno,” said AJ. “Just some British king from yonks back. I think he beat the Vikings. Anyway, this place used to be themed around ancient Britain. It was all knights and dragons, and stuff like that.”

  “Shame it’s all overgrown,” said Samantha as they drove slowly beneath a massive weeping willow. Its tendrils dragged along the glass sunroof like twisting fingernails.

  “Okay,” said Tasha. “The place looks haunted. Take me home.”

  Ben downed half of his second beer and groaned. “Try not to embarrass the family name, okay?”

  “Our family name is Todd. If I were famous, I’d change it.”

  AJ watched his friends through the rear-view mirror, switching his attention back and forth between them and the road. Ashley leant forward over the middle seats again, and she patted Ben on the shoulder. “Yeah, Todd lacks a certain panache. Sorry, mate.”

  “Maybe I’ll change my name to Wheeler.”

  Everyone groaned.

  AJ slowed the car to a crawl. While Land Rovers were designed for hostile terrain, they were also well known for breaking down, and his was more than a little worse for wear. The bodywork colour could be described as sun-kissed rust. With flecks of green.

  Overhanging branches encroached on both sides of the road, whipping against the side windows as the car trundled along, and yet the road ahead was surprisingly clear. It narrowed in places as roots tore up its borders, but it managed, for the most part, to remain a road.

  “Seriously, guys” – Tasha had her hands on her head and was looking legitimately worried – “we’re driving deeper and deeper into the wilderness. Why is no one else freaking out?”

  “Because the rest of us are adults,” said Ben. “What are you so worried about? This is why we’re here. You knew what we had planned. We came here to have fun and make merry. Besides, there’s no wilderness in England. You can’t go anywhere more than five miles from a road.”

  Greg raised an eyebrow. “Name your source.”

  Tasha was still shaking her head. “I just have a sense about these things.”

  Ben groaned. “Please, sis, don’t!”

  Ashley chuckled, still leaning over the seat and dangling her long red hair between them. “What? What do you mean, Tasha?”

  Tasha looked at Ashley, deadly serious. “I know when something is bad. Like, I can sense evil, you know?”

  Greg snorted from Tasha’s right. “Christ almighty.”

  Tasha glared at him. “I’m serious. Last year, I got bad vibes off our neighbour – this skinny dude called Colin. I told Ben he was bad news, but he didn’t believe me, just like you don’t believe me now. A week after I got those bad vibes, Colin put his ex-girlfriend in hospital and killed himself. Jumped right off the top of the multistorey in town. The Greggs there was closed for three days. People had to go to the one on Arthur Street.”

  “A tragedy,” said Greg, sipping his beer before staring, uninterestedly, out of his window. “The sausage rolls on Arthur Street are always cold.”

  Samantha turned from the front passenger seat. “I remember that happening. That guy was really your neighbour, Tasha?”

  “Yeah, and I knew it was going to happen.”

  “No, you never,” said Ben. “The dude was weird, that’s all.”

  “Lots of people are weird, but only that guy gave me the vibes. The same vibes I’m getting now. Something bad is going to happen.”

  AJ glanced back at Tasha. She always had been a bit of an oddball, but he’d always put it down to immaturity. Now she was in her mid-twenties, it was starting to be a bit less endearing. “You want me to turn around, T? Like, seriously, do you?”

  Tasha chewed her lip for a second, then, “I… well… you know…” She sighed. “No, if I make us go home, you lot will kill me.”

  “Too right,” said Ben. “Stop acting the tit or you won’t be allowed to play with us no more.”

  Tasha smirked. “Then you’d have to wipe your own arse.”

  Everyone hooted, but Ben took the jab with a smile. “I think I can manage on my own, thanks, sis. Although I wouldn’t mind wiping my shit on your dreads.”

  Tasha grabbed her dreads and tossed them behind her shoulder. “That’s disgusting!”

  AJ’s gaze flicked forward as something caught his attention. Movement ahead.

  He slowed the car.

  Shit, is somebody here? Does this place have security? No, no, I’ve been researching this place for months. It’s just a bunch of old metal and cement. Why would anyone guard it?

  Samantha noticed AJ staring and shared his concern. “Everything okay?”

  “I, um, thought I saw something.”

  “I thought this place was abandoned,” said Greg. “You said we could go wild. Ben was going to fit a nitro tank to his chair.”

  Ben chuckled.

  AJ blinked a few times, making sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. Once he was sure they weren’t, he sped back up and turned to glance at Greg. “It was probably my imagination. I haven’t had a lot of sleep late—”

  Samantha screamed. “AJ, stop!”

  AJ stamped his foot on the brake and everyone jerked forward. “What the fuck?”

  Samantha pointed through the windscreen. “Look!”

  A stag stood in the centre of the road, staring right at them. One of its antlers had snapped, almost at the base, and the other seemed ridiculously long, as if to compensate.

  “It’s a deer,” said Samantha, as if she couldn’t actually believe it.

  AJ stared, eyes glued to the muscular beast blocking their path. While he’d seen the odd deer skipping across country roads on his travels around the country, he’d never seen anything as big as this.

  Tasha leant between the two front seats to get a better view through the windscreen. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It is,” said Ashley. “Majestic.”

  “Why is the stupid thing just standing there?” Greg wound down his window and stuck his head out. “Move out the way, you stupid animal.”

  Ashley punched him in the back of the shoulder. “Don’t be a prick. It’s got more right to be here than we do.”

  “Pays its taxes, does it?”

  The deer continued to stare at them. It really didn’t seem like it planned on moving. AJ wasn’t prepared to have a stand-off, too eager to arrive at Saxon Hills, so he took his foot off the brake and rolled the Land Rover forward. The stag held its ground, seeming to glare at him with genuine hatred. Its black eyes smouldered as the swaying branches overhead cast their shifting shadows.

  “Are we actually playing a game of chicken with a stag?” asked Ben. “Not where I saw today heading, I have to admit.”

  “It’s not moving,” said AJ, gripping the wheel tightly. This had somehow got personal, like the deer was daring him to keep coming.

  What was it doing?

  Stupid deer.

  “Be careful not to hit it,” said Samantha.

  “I’m not going to hit it,” said AJ. “The bloody thing is going to move. Trust me.”

  Ben was laughing. “It don’t look like it plans on moving, ma
te. Maybe it lost its antler because it does this kind of thing for a hobby. The guardian of the forest.”

  “Arsehole of the forest more like,” muttered Greg.

  AJ sat up straight and shifted in his seat. His back was sweating. He was only driving at four miles per hour, but the deer was quickly getting closer. It remained standing in the centre of the road like a statue. The only thing that showed it was alive was the rhythmic clenching of its nostrils. If it didn’t move in the next few seconds, there would be a collision. And AJ didn’t trust his banged-up Land Rover to come off the better.

  The animal snorted. Stood its ground.

  “Screw this,” said AJ. He stamped his foot down on the accelerator. The ancient three-litre roared.

  Samantha looked at him but said nothing.

  The distance closed fast. The stag grew massive in the windscreen. Still it stood. Still it stared.

  Did it want to die?

  Was it mad? Rabid?

  The overgrown road got shorter and shorter. The stag was about to meet its end.

  You asked for this…

  Here it comes…

  Nice knowing you, Rudolph!

  …Move!

  Come on, move!

  “Goddammit!” AJ stamped on the brake and yanked up the handbrake. The Land Rover’s balding tyres squealed in protest and the entire vehicle lurched sideways. His passengers crashed against one another and cursed his name. AJ’s skull thumped back against the headrest and his bad shoulder spiked with pain. His stomach sloshed as the vehicle entered a spin.

  Screeech!

  The world whizzed by through the windows.

  Everything seemed to tilt.

  Then the Land Rover came to an abrupt stop, see-sawing on its axles to bleed off the remaining momentum.

  Like he did in the ring after taking a bump, AJ remained still for a few seconds, checking nothing was broken. Eventually, he turned to survey his passengers. “Everybody okay?”

  Greg looked annoyed, but he nodded.

  Tasha, Ben, and Ashley just looked shocked.

  “AJ?” Samantha patted him on the arm. “AJ, look!”

  She was gawping over his shoulder, looking out of his side window. AJ turned to see what she saw.

  The stag was staring right at him through the glass.

  AJ threw himself back, hitting his spine on the gearstick and hissing. “What the fuck?”

  Greg swore. “What’s this thing’s problem?”

  Tasha leant forward and put a hand on AJ’s shoulder, making him flinch. “Get us out of here, AJ. This isn’t right.”

  AJ nodded. “Yeah, I know. Vibes, right?” He wanted to look away from the stag, but he was transfixed – man and beast eye to eye, separated only by a single pane of glass. The Land Rover had stalled, so he carefully put it back in neutral and turned the key. The engine turned over like an old man coughing.

  The stag reared up and kicked the side window. The glass pane cracked at its centre, a great radial pattern of sharp lines spreading out towards the frame.

  Samantha yelped. Ashley screamed.

  AJ swore like he’d never sworn before.

  “We’re all going to die,” cried Ben. “This crazy motherfucker is Cujo.”

  “Cujo was a dog,” said Greg, who refrained from crying out like the rest of them. Despite that, his voice was jittery as he spoke. “Idiot.”

  Ben shook his head, eyes wide. “Crazy motherfucking Cujo deer then. That better?”

  “Get us out of here,” cried Tasha.

  AJ had fumbled the keys when the stag kicked the window, so he had to snap out of his shock to try to start the engine again. This time, he turned the key firmly and didn’t let go until the engine rumbled fully to life.

  The stag reared and kicked again, this time knocking loose the side mirror. AJ swore, angry that a wild animal was battering his car, but too terrified to do anything but flee. He put the engine in gear and stamped on the accelerator. The Land Rover bucked as the stag reared up and kicked at it a third time.

  And then they were shooting forward.

  The old Land Rover picked up speed quickly.

  The mad beast faded in the rear-view mirror.

  “I want to go home,” said Tasha. “I told you something bad was going to happen.”

  “Going home means going past that psychotic animal again.” AJ looked in the rear-view mirror. The stag was just standing there, watching them speed away. What the hell had just happened? “Let’s put some distance between us and it. Then we can take a breather and figure out what to do.”

  Greg was laughing, despite nobody else finding the situation funny. “We got our arses handed to us by a deer. Seriously, does anybody understand what just happened and how crazy it is?”

  After a while, relief set in and everyone tittered nervously. Even AJ found it funny, forgetting the damage to his car and the pain in his shoulder. He had wanted to create memories this weekend, and in that regard things were going well. Don’t think any of us will ever forget crazy motherfucking Cujo deer.

  What the hell?

  Chapter Six

  “Maybe we should call someone,” said Ashley. Everyone had their seatbelts off now, moving around the Land Rover’s cabin as though it was a cramped sitting room. Ashley was handing out fresh beers, which they all needed after what had happened.

  AJ shook his head in disbelief. Attacked by a stag. Oh, the humiliation.

  Greg turned back to face Ashley. “Who can we call?”

  She shrugged. “The police? We were just attacked. There’s a wild animal on the loose.”

  “Yeah, a wild animal loose in the countryside miles from anywhere. I think the stag was pretty much doing what it’s allowed to do. We’re the ones planning a weekend of raising hell.”

  “I don’t know about that,” said Ben. “Deer aren’t usually aggressive, are they? I mean, I never had to watch any educational videos on deer attacks when I was a kid. It was all ‘stranger danger’ and don’t walk on the train tracks – although I probably could’ve called in sick that day.”

  “It’s probably mating season,” said Samantha. “Stags are territorial, aren’t they?”

  Greg chuckled. “Maybe it thought AJ’s scrapheap of a car was a deer, huh? It’s covered in dirt and smells like shit. You can see the confusion.”

  AJ rolled his eyes. “Remind me why I’m friends with you again, Greg?”

  “Because I’m the best personal trainer you ever met, and you would still be a sweaty tub of lard without me.”

  AJ gave a laugh. While it was a slight over-exaggeration, three years ago, Greg had indeed helped him drop another four per cent body fat after his training regime had plateaued. His wrestling career had received a boost as he’d gone from fit and athletic to toned and muscular.

  “Maybe he wanted you for your discounted gym memberships,” said Tasha. “Hey, by the way, I’m still waiting for mine.”

  “I only get so many a year,” Greg replied, “and they go to my friends in order of how much I like them. You should get yours in about… oh, I don’t know, six years or so.”

  Tasha whacked him on one of his huge biceps. “Dick!”

  “So, are we going to call someone or not?” Ashley asked again. “You guys don’t think we need to?”

  Ben slid his phone out of his breast pocket. “Let me have a butcher’s online. Okay, what to do when attacked by an antisocial deer… Ah, shit, no signal.”

  AJ looked back. “Really? We must really be in the sticks. I reckon we’ve been on this road for about a mile now. We should be at the park any minute.”

  “I’ve got no signal either,” said Ashley. “Are we still planning on going through with this after what happened? I never signed up for no phone signal. How am I supposed to Instagram?”

  Greg groaned. “It’ll do you good to be away from your phone for a couple of days. The world will cope without seeing you pout every time you eat a carrot stick.”

  Tasha gasped. “Ashl
ey, you have such a loving boyfriend.”

  “She likes the abuse,” said Greg. “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen.”

  AJ looked in the rear-view and saw Ashley pull a face. Then she smiled. “I give as good as I get. He’s just lucky he’s got a fat cock.”

  Ben gagged on a mouthful of beer. “Whoa, no one needs to hear that shit, Ashley. There’s a reason men wear pants, and trust me, it’s not out of respect for women. It’s so blokes don’t have to look at other bloke’s junk.”

  AJ tuned out his friends’ banter. The road was ending up ahead, and he needed to concentrate. It felt as though he was driving in the dark, the tree canopy now so thick that it was nearly a solid roof. The bushes and overgrowth had also thickened, obscuring a majority of the road. Branches cracked beneath the Land Rover’s wheels like gunfire.

  Samantha was focusing ahead. “Is there a way forward? Looks a bit perilous.”

  AJ shrugged. “We must be near the park now. Maybe we’ll have to get out and walk the last bit.”

  “Yeah, um, okay. Long as there are no more deer.”

  The stretch of road they were about to hit was cracked so badly that it was more mud than tarmac, and it forced AJ to warn the others. “Going off-road!”

  Everyone bounced in their seats as the Land Rover hit a dip, and AJ enjoyed a secret smile as the car rocked around like an old stagecoach. Ben cried out in protest as his wheelchair knocked against his chest, but everyone else was smiling and having a good time.

  They bounced along for several minutes, whooping with every bump and dip, and AJ was cackling by the time the road smoothed out and became tarmac again. The trees and bushes fell away and the way ahead became clear.

  They had arrived.

  The Land Rover entered an overgrown car park resembling a setting from a post-apocalyptic movie – cement, grass, and memories of what came before. A variety of signage hung from steel posts at various angles, but most were obscured by dirt and foliage. At the far side of the car park, a hundred metres back at least, was a wide chain-link fence. Beyond it, the towering shadows of several mysterious structures loomed.

  “Wow,” said Samantha. “We’re actually here. Look at this place. It’s like a secret world.”