Dark Ride

by Iain Rob Wright

  “Yes, I know that, but it’s also an evil helmet in the middle of nowhere, guarding a place where people died. It’s freaky.”

  “It’s cool,” said Ben. “It better have wheelchair access.”

  Tasha was rooted to the spot. “Seriously, guys…”

  Samantha started forward. “The sooner we go inside, the sooner it will stop being scary. Come on, let’s just get it over with.”

  AJ and Greg gave each other a look, and AJ chuckled. “Looks like it’s ladies first.”

  Samantha chuckled too, even as she continued moving forward. “I fell off a horse when I was a kid, almost as soon as I started riding. My mum told me to get straight back on because the best way to stop being scared of something is to become master of it. If something scares you, don’t just face it, own it. So, yeah, let’s get inside this ride and then we can stop being scared of it. Once we see the nuts and bolts sticking out of the floor, we’ll realise it’s just a building pretending to be something else.”

  Ashley continued moaning, but peer pressure moved her forward. Greg put an arm around her and helped her walk on her bad ankle. Tasha got moving too, but stayed completely silent, playing nervously with her dreads. AJ was glad everyone was still onboard, but he was concerned about anyone else getting hurt. He jogged to the front of the pack, intending to lead the way – intending to take on any dangers himself.

  He never expected to slip.

  “Whoa!” He swung his arms out and just managed to keep his balance as his legs splayed.

  Samantha grimaced and turned her head away. “Ew, that’s disgusting!”

  AJ looked at his foot and almost gagged. He was unsure what he’d stepped in, but it might once have been alive. In fact, he was fairly certain he felt bones crunch beneath his heel.

  “Looks like a dead fox or something,” said Greg.

  “Now it’s blood and fur cheesecake,” said Ben, wheeling his chair in a wide arc to avoid the remains.

  AJ went and wiped his boot on some weeds growing through the pavement, but he knew the stains on the tan leather would be permanent. “Okay, everyone, watch your step.”

  “Bit late for that,” said Greg. “Come on, let’s find a way in.”

  AJ went with Greg towards the large Viking helmet. AJ couldn’t resist dropping another info bomb on his friends. “Do you know that Vikings never actually had horns on their helmets? It’s an invention of modern media.”

  “Television makes everything cooler,” said Greg. “I bet the battles were a hell of a lot duller in real life too.”

  AJ nodded. “We’re lucky to live in a time where we have theme parks and cheap flights instead of conscription and the plague.”

  Greg kicked at a broken piece of wood, then turned on AJ and pretended to swipe at him with a sword. “Have to admit, it would’ve been cool to be a warrior or a knight. The amount of times I’d have liked to lop some twat’s head off. Or stick a sword in Tractor’s big fat guts. I’d have made an awesome knight. Greg the Granite Knight.”

  AJ pretended to defend and parry with his own imaginary sword, but couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, it’d be all fun and games until someone stuck an axe in your face. Think I’ll stick to fake fighting in the ring, thanks. All the fun with none of the being dead.”

  “Well, that depends on who you’re relying on to catch you after leaping the top rope.”

  AJ stopped making slashing motions and stood up straight. He frowned at Greg. “That’s not funny, man. Do you have any idea how badly I feel about what happened? I take my job seriously. Keeping the other guy safe is—”

  Greg held a hand up to stop him. He looked embarrassed. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. You’re one of the safest guys in the ring, which was why I was so surprised when Dillon told me you injured him. What happened? Dillon said it was like you were on another planet.”

  AJ looked back and checked that the others were out of earshot. Not that they would understand a conversation about the art of wrestling. Only Greg knew the business – because he helped rehab most of the guys when they picked up injuries, not because he had any love for it. In fact, it was astounding how little Greg knew about the history of pro wrestling. His knowledge began and ended with Hulk Hogan – the yellow pants version.

  AJ put his hands on his hips and sighed. “I don’t know what happened. I was bleeding from a cut, and it got in my eyes. My timing was off. I couldn’t see.”

  Greg raised an eyebrow. “You couldn’t see? Tractor must have really opened you up.”

  “It wasn’t that bad a cut, but it was enough to disorientate me at the worst time.”

  “Okay, man, I’m sorry for bringing it up. You sure you don’t want me to check out your shoulder?”

  AJ put a hand on his injured joint and immediately felt a dull throb. “Maybe later. I’ll see how it goes.”

  Greg peered up at the darkening sky. “You know, this is like something from a horror movie. Are you trying to scare the shit out of the girls, or what? You picked the scariest goddamn place in the whole park. I keep expecting Jason to pop up and chop our heads off.”

  AJ laughed. “I promise, I’m not trying to scare you all. It’s just a bit of fun.”

  “Yeah, well, let’s find a way into this monstrosity, shall we?”

  AJ stepped into the helmet’s interior. A collection of pipework ran down from the ceiling and snaked back and forth on both sides. It must have been where the steam – part of the ride’s atmospherics – had come from. There were also remnants of a light strip that likely formed the glowing red eyes inside the helmet.

  Greg picked up a faded pamphlet from the ground. The front cover was a full-page advert for Frenzy. “They really went all out for this thing, huh? A shame, really. Nothing ever lasts.”

  AJ knelt and started pulling great handfuls of weeds away from the rear of the helmet. The tangles were blocking the entrance to the queuing area. “This would have been the way in. Help me clear a path for Ben.”

  Greg moved beside AJ and clawed at the weeds. It didn’t take them long to remove the worst of it, but it still looked unwelcoming.

  “How’s it going in there?” Samantha called.

  “It’s going fine,” said AJ. “Come in.”

  The rest of them moved cautiously into the helmet’s dark interior. Ben started making ghost noises as he wheeled himself into the shadows.

  “Stop it,” said Tasha. “Don’t mess around.”

  AJ shot Ben a look. The last thing they needed was Tasha freaking out and refusing to go inside. “We’ve cleared a way to the queuing area. Come on.”

  “You sure it’s safe?” Ashley put a hand out and leant against Greg so that she could lift her ankle away from the ground.

  “So long as we’re careful, it’ll be fine.”

  “Okay then.”

  They headed through the rear of the helmet and found themselves in another overgrown area. Thick weeds had uprooted the paving slabs and formed a messy lawn. The only gap in the greenery was a patch of dark brown in the centre.

  Greg placed the crook of his elbow over his nose and growled. “God sake, is this park where animals come to die?”

  AJ inspected the carcass and wondered what it had been. Large grey feathers poked out among the gore. A large bird, maybe a goose. “They probably think it’s safe,” AJ offered. “They come in through the helmet and find this closed-off area. It’s the type of place a sick animal would seek out to rest.”

  “Or die,” said Ben.

  AJ shrugged. “I suppose so.”

  “So this ride could be stuffed with a thousand animal corpses,” said Ben. “You’re going to owe me a new set of tyres.”

  AJ didn’t want to give anyone time to freak out, so he moved past the sticky corpse and headed for the ride building. The original structure had been built to look like a cave, but it had been rethemed to resemble an old stone temple. Runic symbols dotted the various stony outcroppings, and an old man’s face formed around the entrance.
The doorway had been built to resemble the old man’s mouth.

  “Woden’s temple,” said AJ in awe. “It’s even more amazing than I thought it would be.” While he knew the others would be less impressed than he was, they did stand there in silence and stare. It really did look like something centuries old, like Stonehenge or a Roman ruin.

  “Can I just ask,” said Ashley, “who is Woden?”

  AJ looked at her and shrugged. “No idea. I think he’s just a really old god from before, you know, our God came along.”

  “It’s all bullshit to me,” said Ben, “however old.”

  AJ wasn’t religious either, but it was still interesting to think of how people once lived. “The entrance is right here.” He pointed to the old man’s stony mouth. “Should we try and force it open?”

  Greg shrugged off his rucksack, rolled both his shoulders, then stepped forward. “Let me take a look.”

  The mouth would originally have been left open, but when the ride had been shut down, it had been boarded up. Greg was able to get his fingers into a gap between the boards, and he began pulling at it in a rowing motion. The muscles in his wide back bulged, and AJ had to marvel at his flared lats in appreciation. It took a lot of work to get a body like Greg’s. Obsession even.

  “Damn it!” Greg’s jowls bulged as he strained. “It’s nailed down tight. AJ, get in here next to me and help.”

  AJ threw off his rucksack and bent beside Greg. He forced his fingers through the narrow gap and pulled. He worried about hurting his hands, but gradually he increased his effort until he felt the boards begin to creak.

  “It’s coming,” said Greg. “Keep pulling.”

  AJ gritted his teeth and placed his feet against the lowest boards, heaving with all his strength.

  His entire body exploded with pain as he felt some part of him pop.

  He fell onto his back, screaming.

  “AJ!” Samantha ran to his aid. “What’s wrong?”

  “Ah! My shoulder!” He clutched his upper chest, wishing he could rip the pain right out. “Jesus, it hurts.”

  Greg was on him immediately, probing at him with his fingers. He pressed down hard with his palm and some of the pain went away. “Is that better?” AJ nodded, although it still hurt too much to want to talk. “Damn it, you should’ve come to me as soon as you knew you were hurt. I think you might have torn your rotator cuff. What are you playing at? This is your career. ”

  “I-It’s okay. I just tweaked it.”

  Greg swore. “You haven’t tweaked it, you moron. Ashley, hand me my rucksack.”

  Like an obedient child, Ashley hurried to do as she was told. Greg rummaged through the pockets of his pack until he found a bottle of water and a foil packet. “Take a couple of these,” he said, shoving pills into AJ’s mouth and making him drink from the bottle. “They won’t fix the damage, but they’ll numb the pain.”

  AJ struggled to get the pills down his throat while lying on his back and he felt them stick in his oesophagus. “W-What are they?”

  “Painkillers. Strong ones. You need to lie still and let them do their job.”

  “W-We need to get inside the ride.”

  Greg nodded. “Let me handle that. The job’s halfway done.”

  AJ frowned then turned his head. Before his shoulder had torn, the two of them had at least succeeded in getting one of the boards loose. It hung in place now by only a single long nail, ready to be plucked free. A gap big enough to crawl through.

  Frenzy awaited them.

  Chapter Eleven

  It took about ten minutes for the pills to kick in, and AJ sighed with relief when a fuzziness washed over him. The pain was still there, but it was now a background event, bothering only the back of his mind.

  Greg climbed inside the ride first while the rest of them waited and listened to the sounds of him rooting around. After a minute, he popped his head through the gap in the boards with a smile on his face. “I still think this whole thing is stupid, but I have to admit it’s pretty cool in here. All looks safe. Come on in.”

  And so they entered through the gap one after another. Samantha had to help AJ, as his coordination was all over the place, and he more or less fell through the gap.

  Greg got busy placing a bunch of LED lanterns around the new area. While this was the first time they’d gone urban exploring together, AJ and Greg had gone hiking many times before and had camped in the Beacons three or four times. Neither of them were amateurs at this, and Greg – being Greg – had to have the fanciest equipment.

  The battery-powered lanterns lit the interior in a ghostly white glow, turning the cave-like space into an otherworldly grotto. The stony walls glistened and shone as tiny granules of glass or some other material caught the light, and when AJ reached out to touch one of the surfaces, he discovered it was fake. Some kind of cement, not real stone.

  Tasha yelped. Everyone turned to face her as she stumbled about in the semi-darkness. Her yelps then turned to curses as she placed a hand across her chest. “Goddamn thing scared the life out of me.”

  AJ studied the figure standing at the back of the room and chuckled. It was some sort of primitive shaman, or perhaps a druid – he wasn’t sure on the difference. The elderly white-haired man was stooped over and leaning on a gnarled walking stick the length of his body. He wore an animal skin but no shoes. The flesh around his eyes was dark and baggy.

  “He’s so lifelike,” said Ashley, prodding at the old man’s spongey cheeks. Her ankle seemed a little better, and her limp was now a stiff hobble. “He even feels real.”

  “One of the ride’s animatronics,” said AJ. “They were unparalleled at the time.”

  “They’re unparalleled now,” said Ben. “Look at that thing. Shame it’s switched off. I would’ve liked to have seen it in motion.”

  “It would’ve disappointed you,” AJ told him. “While they got the realism just right, the robotics back then were pretty awful. I saw a YouTube video once, taken from somebody’s camcorder. The animatronics were really jerky.”

  Tasha had her arms folded as if she was holding herself. “Well, if this thing moves an inch, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

  “Should we make camp here?” asked Samantha.

  AJ shook his head. “It would be better to put another wall between us and that draught.” He was referring to the broken board where they came in. Already he could feel a chill. “This is the pre-ride area. The next room should be the embarkation platform. It should be large enough to make a camp.”

  “Okey-dokey,” said Ben. “Lead the way.”

  They all grabbed a lantern as AJ took them through a wooden doorway beside the creepy druid figure. It was a normal door, but it had been painted to look as though it was carved from thick, elderly wood. The hinges were clogged with debris, so it needed a good push to open, but eventually it gave way and allowed them through.

  The next room was even more impressive than the last. It was a wider area, with a high, curved ceiling, and at the back were a pair of trains themed to look like ancient fishing boats. They sat on a track, which AJ knew had originally been submerged in water to make a pretend river.

  “There’s plenty of room here,” said Samantha, then she scuffed her foot over the bare cement. “Ground’s a bit hard though.”

  “The rest of the ride will be too cramped,” said AJ, “and there’ll be tracks running through it. This area is as good as it’s going to get. Plus, it’s not too scary, huh, Tasha?”

  Tasha managed to unfold her arms and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m a wimp, I know, but I’m doing my best, okay?”

  “She hasn’t pissed herself in five minutes,” said Ben, waving his lantern in his sister’s face and irritating her.

  Tasha kicked his tyre. “Let’s just get set up so we can start drinking. I’m starving too.”

  “I’ll get the beans on,” said Greg.

  Tasha looked at him. “Huh?”

  Greg shrugged. “I brought
a stove and some baked beans. Can’t have a camp without some beans on the go.”

  “I’ll stick to the sarnies and crisps I brought with me, thanks.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  AJ opened up his rucksack and pulled out some of his things. He had brought his iPad with him, fully charged, and he set it up with some portable speakers. A minute later they had nineties Britpop blaring and the entire atmosphere changed. Sleeping bags were dispensed. Snacks were opened. And booze flowed. AJ was already feeling light-headed, but he downed another beer with relish, enjoying the warm feeling it gave his legs. His shoulder throbbed constantly, and he struggled to move it, but overall he was feeling good. A little high and a little drunk, maybe, but not in a bad place at all.

  AJ went and took a seat in one of the ride trains, grateful that the cushions were still intact. His fresh beer sat securely on the lap bar, which was convenient, so he placed both hands behind his head and leant back. “This might be my spot for the evening,” he told the others.

  Samantha climbed in next to him, sloshing white wine in a plastic cup. “How’s your shoulder?”

  “Probably ruined, but those pills Greg gave me were pretty hardcore.”

  “Will it screw everything up for you?”

  He frowned at her. “What do you mean?”

  “Your contract to go wrestle in the States… Will they still take you with an injury?”

  “Oh, um, yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just need to rest and let myself heal. You know Greg, he likes to look on the negative side of life. It’s not that bad, really. I get hurt all the time. Part of the job.”

  “I’m really proud of you. This has always been your dream. Even when people made fun of you at school, you kept at it with your head held high. No one will be laughing when you’re making millions.”

  “I’m a long way from that. Wrestling is a tough living, even at the top. If I was in it for the money, I would’ve quit a long time ago.”