The Masked Poet

by Albert Enang Eng Usang

  Hi, Masked Poet of fine mettle

  hope you are in high fettle

  like boiling water in a kettle

  and your day in no way little

  like the seaport in Seattle.

  When he received it, he quickly typed another rhyme for a reply:

  disappointments like the sand dune

  most especially around afternoon

  on a very wet day in June

  means a chat with you is a boon

  one with a melodious tune.

  - Ha ha ha ha ha......... You flatter me.

  - No I don't, I actually mean it.

  - Am I really such a boon to you this evening? And just how would chatting with you offset a day of huge disappointments?

  - Yes you are an evening boon to me. You know why?

  - No I don't.

  - Then:

  Be reminded I'm speaking with

  Nigeria's number one beauty

  from land to sea, east to west

  from up to down, north to south

  yet undefeated in any pageant

  with two knock-out victories

  in the south and in the nation

  weighing invaluably and massively

  immeasurable exquisite kilograms

  whose aesthetic sight alone

  scare opposing intimidated challengers

  whose aesthetic punches too

  batter gloomy despondent opponents

  giving pure joy to loyal fans.

  - Wa...wuuuu......... This sounds so sweet!

  - You see why your chat this evening offsets a gloomy day?

  - I do! And I question it no more.

  - Thanks, the beautiful one.

  - There you go again.

  - Sorry, the drop dead gorgeous one.

  - Ha ha ha ha ..........I hope you won't faint again now. I won't be there to revive you. Ha ha ha ha.......

  - No I won't. You see:

  First cut is the deepest

  first sight, the most breathtaking

  since my first sight of you

  took only my breath away,

  but didn't stop my breathing

  then I won't die again.

  - Ah ah! You are talking about death; meaning you can faint again na?

  - Chei, this girl! So smart, reading in between the lines. Earnestly, I could faint again!

  - Ha ha ha ha ha.................

  - But somehow I won't. You know why?

  - No. Why?

  - That day:

  You attacked my sensorium

  with a novel beauty missile

  my system had ever seen!

  We were taken unawares

  but like mosquitoes in Africa

  we regrouped to develop resistance

  to that missile so comely

  and now, we're ready for it!

  - Ha ha ha ha ha.....................

  - You like the poem it appears?

  - All the way! Not just this, but all you've improvised this evening and all others I've heard you render.

  - Thanks my queen.

  - Sometimes, I wonder how you do it; they are so natural.

  - All thanks to God. It is his gifting in my life.

  - Indeed. But really, did you have a bad day at the office?

  - Kind of.

  - Clients didn't patronize today?

  - No, they did. But today turned out one of those days when I can helplessly say my poetic gift didn't fetch me fulfilment but sadness.

  - Are there such moments in a poet's life?

  - Yes of course! So many of them. I have been hired to write and read a poem for a terminally ill patient and an elegy to a very close but deceased friend. I almost forsook poetry afterwards.

  - Ohhh!..... I'm so sorry, but what really was today's make up?

  - Can you believe I had three clients, two men and a woman who approached me to write divorce poems for them to illustrate the depth of frustrations in their present marriages and the prospects new relationships with adulterous lovers on the sides, holds for them. As if that was not disgusting enough, a promiscuous woman, married, in her forties came after the earlier trio, and requested for a poem which depicts a secret love affair she cherishes, by describing her bosom love for a younger lover who is not her husband. Such annoying people today!

  - Wow! So what did you do or tell them?

  - I was rather polite, but it is the way to go. I told them, that is the first categorical trio, I don't relate with divorce in anyway, offering instead, a poetic composition for possible forgiveness and reunion. But you know what? They bluntly turned it down, articulating their disappointments afterwards and offering me a piece of advice about separating business from sentiments. As for the promiscuous woman, l told her marital infidelity and I are like oil and water, advising she jettison her secret lover and be faithful to her husband. Guess what her response was?

  - What was it?

  - I will die a poor poet!

  - That was so rude of her.

  - The beautiful one, it is what I see every now and then. I have come to accept it as part of the calling.

  - Uh uh.....It's hard being the Masked Poet, especially a morally sound poet, and you still have to attend to the melancholic, the confused, and the desperate; to give joy, direction, and hope!

  - Actually beauty queen, you see:

  Almost everyone laughs outwardly

  and so they equally cry inwardly

  there are many who laugh outwardly

  but cry almost always, inwardly

  yet you think they never cry

  their bright apparels are shining

  their countenances so unsuspecting

  you'll think they have not a care

  when toiling at a duty post

  till you pay their psyche a visit

  and regret ev' holidaying there!

  A doctor is one of those

  a pastor is on that roster

  also, are guardian parents

  unavoidable too, for a poet

  they all share in this kismet!

  - Hmmmnnnn........... The great poet!!

  - I hope to be.

  - But you are.

  - Until the world acknowledges, I choose humility.

  - You see, actually, we share a lot of principles in common.

  - Is that so?

  - I don't believe in divorce too. I believe marriage is for all life's weather. And I especially also hate marital infidelity too. I think marriage is too sacred for such obscenities. Before it, one has many options, but once into it, the divine rules should be adhered to.

  - Thank you, the gorgeous one. I'm glad in this outrightly debased contemporary times, I have a moral partner and she is a new found friend!

  - Ha ha ha ha...............

  - By the way, I just discovered something new about you.

  - And what could that be?

  - I used to think you are only two 'b's.

  - What's two 'b's.

  - Beauty and brains.

  - Just imagine! And I didn't know such a simple thing!

  - Never mind, the wisest are sometimes floored by simpletons. But I was saying now I know you are three 'b's instead of two.

  - Eh eh...... Mr. Masked Poet, so your plan is to keep me in a permanent state of simpleton! Biko, what is three 'b's? Ha ha ha ha.......

  - Beauty, brains, and biblical.

  - You think I am........ biblical?

  - In respect to your marital stands, those are biblical standards. Truly, you may have been doing many more without knowing, and I think you are capable of many more.

  - If you say so.

  - My queen, your friend is famished and could sleep on an empty stomach if I keep staring at your beauty. You know that is true.

  - Ha ha ha ha ha............ But you aren't seeing me.

  - Hmmmnn...... I am o. Since that last visit, your face stuck to my memory. If l were an artist, I would have drawn a portrait of you without your pres
ence long ago, courtesy of my memory of you.

  - Ha ha ha.......... I will let you go but one more question please.

  - Okay.

  - I guess you buy your food, do you?

  - I make it myself except lunch because of work.

  - You mean you cook?

  - Yes I do. You sound surprised.

  - Of course I am! Menfolk seldom cook especially as bachelors.

  - True, but a few cook. Note however, it's 'potty' o. It can't be compared to a woman's cooking skills. In all, I prefer eating home made food to those outside except circumstances intervene.

  - So, what did you cook or are you going to cook right about now?

  - Eba. I already made the soup some days ago. I'm going to get it warmed from the freezer.

  - What soup is it?

  - Vegetable.

  - Hmmnnn.......... I'm salivating over here.

  - You like vegetables too?

  - Of course! Especially the soup my people call edikang ikong.* For the nutritional value you know, and particularly half cooked.

  - For chipping that 'half cooked' in, I deduce you are a good cook and I will be adding a 'c' to the three 'b's soon.

  - Okay, but I really would like to taste your food.

  - No oooo.......... It is potty, fit only for my tongue. It could be poison for another though it is my helpless meat.

  - Ha ha ha ha..... Okay. Bon appetite and good night then.

  - Thanks beauty queen. You made my day.............

  What a first heart to heart chat! She thought. Afterwards, she laid on her bed and memorably analyzed the chat as she went through her

  phone again. Her conclusion? This young man has shown all the signs of taking her to heart but would probably still think it is not possible because Victor is still on board her heart's ship. She has to get that cloud off their burgeoning friendship so the love skies would clear up. And the way to do that is to make it articulately clear to him she is in for love, and not just friendship. Then, that Victor's shadow, hovering above their potential love skies would be properly addressed, dealt with, and chased away.

  Delight was relaxing to a home video on the tv set in the living room of her one bedroom apartment when she heard a knock on the door. From the moment she heard it, she thought it sounded like a familiar pattern, particularly, an undesirable pattern for the season. So, instead of opening the door straight up, she decided to peep from the window first. Her thoughts were confirmed. The first sight she caught was Victor's car parked in the premises, meaning he was the one at the door. Rooted still by the window and refusing to open the door, she asked:

  'Yes, and what can l do for you?'

  When he realized she was at the window, he moved towards it.

  *edikang ikong(popular Efik delicacy)

  'Sweetheart, can you please open the door and let me in?' He was rather gentlemanly.

  - What? Who is your sweetheart? Please leave my premises, I don't want a sight of you around.

  - Come on cup cakes, can you please welcome peace and give her a chance? Open the door first and you will appreciate her warmth.

  - Who is peaceful and who has warmth? Ha ha ha ha........ Wonders shall never end. You, Victor, coming for peace? You think l don't know your ploy to gain access to this house and unleash your male chauvinism on me? Let me inform you; a leopard cannot change its spotty skin, so please, get out of my premises.

  - Please honey, we need to talk. Let me in and hear me out. I'm really sorry for all my offences against you. I really came to apologize.

  - Apolo - what? First, let me practically inform you as you may claim you only heard it from the police. I'm no longer in love with you, we have broken up, and you are my ex. Nothing changes that, just so you know and stop expending your energy on fruitless apology sessions cum journeys. You cannot change from your ingrained imperfections and I have had enough. I can't end up with you so lets go our separate ways, the earlier the better. Second, l thought the police asked you not to be seen anywhere near me? Leave before I call them!

  'Ah ah Delight, slow down na!' It was Joanna's voice. 'You are just too harsh. Let him in first and listen to what he has to say. It is all aimed at preventing a recurrence of past mistakes and misfortunes.'

  - Ha ha ha ha ............. I should have known you'll be here with him! Always encouraging evil; never decrying it. Please you............

  - He has explained things to me, that is why I also want you to hear him out. Give him a listening ear first, thereafter, take whatever decision you deem best including sending him away.

  - Sorry sweetheart, you are not in my shoes else you would know where it pinches. You can fall for his pretenses since you 'were not the lover,' but as for me, I know better than falling for cheap pranks.

  - Delight, I can't believe you are saying all these. Okay, at least for my sake as a friend please let us in.

  - No, no, no! No way!

  - Am l no longer your friend as well? Have you broken up with me too?

  - So long as you are with him, you will not step a foot into this house! Why am I even delaying? You two, get out of my compound else I will call the police!

  'Honey please,' Victor cut in. 'Don't do this to me. You are the only one I love. I can't love another woman please don't break up with me. I know my love can be fiery sometimes, but I will make every effort to be a better man. Please let me in.'

  'Delight!' Joanna joined in, 'Have a heart! Show some humanity.'

  - Hello, is this the police?............. Please I have some banned intruders disturbing my peace..............

  - What? Delight!!.......

  They left soon afterwards, knowing the police could arrive at any moment.

  CHAPTER 16

  The Masked Poet was writing some poems at the Emotional House when his phone rang just before 10 in the morning. It was Delight. He picked up as he dropped the pen in between his fingers on his poems' rough book.

  'Stand! For the conqueror! She is the beautiful one; the only beautiful one.' He began with an invasion.

  'Ha ha ha ha.............. The word manipulator, top of the morning to you.' She reciprocated.

  - Excuse me, but have l ever told you your voice sounds like that of a sweet saxophone?

  - Ha ha ha ha ha ............. No.

  - Then today I say it.

  - I'm flying o; to the high skyyyy......... Thank you Mr. Masked Poet. So, how was your night?

  - My sister, please help classify between a dream and a nightmare: l saw an unending throng of people desperately asking me for poems.

  - A dream of course; a sweet dream!

  - Don't you think I will die before I finish writing for they all?

  - Ha ha ha ha........... You won't. You are capable.

  - So, that was how my night went. How was yours?

  - Cool. I actually called to know if you will be free this afternoon for lunch? Don't worry, it is on my account.

  - What? Lunch with Miss Nigeria? Such offers are not asked; they are forced! I am just lucky you didn't coerce me else I was expecting a coercion by a Nigerian batallion to which for once in my life I would gladly tolerate, and legalize.................. Yes! Yes! Yes! I am free! Where's the place? But no! No! No! I won't allow you foot the bill. It will be on me.

  - You want to burst my intestines with laughter. I will come to your office at 1pm, then we'll go in your car. The destination is a surprise.

  - That's okay by me.

  - See you then.

  - And you too. But meanwhile, have a nice day.

  - Thankssss......... And you also.

  The Masked Poet drove as he was instructed by the beauty in the passenger seat of his car, until he parked in front of the 'Phantasy,' a fast food spot with lounges for VIPs. While they ordered for food, she noticed the Masked Poet looked intently around the lounge.

  'Looks like you really admire the lounge?' She asked.

  'Not only the lounge, but the entire environment.' He expanded.
>
  - This must be your first time here then.

  - Yes. But do you know why I'm actually looking around the place like a 'Johnny just come?'

  - Ermmm...... You like the tasty furnishing?

  - No. It is because I have been thinking of setting up an outfit closely similar to this which I intend to call 'The First Date Eatery.'

  - First Date Eatery? I have faint ideas about it but what is it all about?

  - It will be only for couples and every couple would be attended to on the assumption it is their very first date each time they visit the eatery.

  - I get it, I get it. So, visits there by couples will pep up their relationships and probably revive dyeing ones?

  - Exactly.

  - Nice idea, I'll support you all the way.

  - But do you know why I chose that name?

  - No. Why?

  - Initially, I also thought of making a compartment for its opposite: 'The Break Up Eatery,' but reneged on it on second thoughts.

  - Why?

  - The break ups may occasionally, or most of the time, turn violent when emotions run high, and I may be worse for it.

  - You mean they could destroy your property?

  - Yes.

  - Well, I think it may not really go that way. But I'll advise you start with the First Date Eatery. Her Break Up counterpart may still be a possibility with time.

  - No, not even in distant time. I have an idea about its feasibility right before I set up the First Date Eatery.

  - Okay, I'm listening.

  - You are central to that idea.

  - Really? How?

  - Why don't you add versatility to your status and start a reality show on tv called 'Break up or Not?!'

  - Yes, yes, yes. I get it at once! You know, get on stage a couple who have issues and are on the brink, to see if they can resolve their differences or if they'll insist on a break up, with all the emotions attached?

  - Beautiful and smart!

  - Ha ha ha ha ha.......... But wait a minute! Where have you been all along? I need friends like you! People who can add value to my life! Masked Poet, this is such a wonderful idea. I can also imagine the Masked Poet on the show to render relationship saving poems, who knows, it could save a relationship.