The Terrible Gift (Empath Found Book 1)

by Colette Rhodes

  Huh. I had noticed the absence of paper around campus but never gave much thought to how that would impact book production. Did they even have printing presses in Avalon? How accessible was knowledge outside of the Academy walls? The thought sat uneasily with me. I loved the Academy but it was clearly a place of privilege. I wasn’t getting a true picture of Avalon or the fae by living here.

  “I’m guessing we can’t take the books away then,” I mused, taking in the armchairs and little tables scattered throughout the cozy room.

  “Gods no,” Marlen exclaimed in horror.

  “Never mind,” I muttered, “human thing.”

  I snagged a book on the history of elemental magic and settled myself into an armchair, ready to lose myself in books and relishing the feeling of doing something so familiar. Marlen grabbed a book and got comfortable in the armchair next to mine. His contentedness wrapped around me like a blanket and the realization that this was something we both enjoyed melted my heart to him just a little bit more.

  ◆◆◆

  Marlen and Leigh were both on guard duty that night, so I invited Briallen back to my cabin to hang out since I knew she got lonely without Leigh around. I spotted Aderyn at dinner and asked her to join us. I’d really been enjoying her company and wanted her and Briallen to get a chance to properly meet.

  “So,” Briallen announced, clapping her hands together as we settled in on the floor of my cabin around the warm stove, leaning against the armchairs. “I think that we should have a question and answer time for you, Fi. As a chance for you to get to know all things Avalon. You’re learning a lot about magical theory and magical history. However, the Academy doesn’t cover the kind of general knowledge or popular culture that we learned as kids growing up here.”

  “That’s an excellent idea,” Aderyn agreed shyly. She was definitely less confident around Briallen than she was with just me. “Is there anything you’ve been particularly wondering about?”

  “I’d like to learn more about the gods,” I broached cautiously, remembering how sad Aderyn had felt the last time we discussed them.

  “Really?” Briallen’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “I guess I thought you’d want to find out about Avalon. You know, where to shop, sights to see, creatures to watch out for, that kind of thing.”

  “Er, let’s definitely add ‘creatures to watch out for’ to our curriculum. Number two on the priority list? I really want to know more about where magic comes from.” And why some fae have so much and others so little I added silently.

  “Don’t worry,” Aderyn smiled. “You don’t need to fear any of those creatures while you’re on campus. It’s why male students do guard duty and additional combat training.”

  It seemed hella sexist to me, but fae had pretty rigid views of gender roles.

  “Right, well, the gods are fairly mysterious, so I’ll tell you what I can, but everyone has different ideas about them.” Briallen shrugged.

  “Everyone is in agreement that there are six gods: three men, three women. Their names are Aine, Cerridwen, Morgan, Eagan, Gawain, and Balfour. They’re always depicted standing in a circle, holding hands with their eyes closed,” Briallen explained and Aderyn nodded in agreement. My mind drifted back to the tapestry of the six figures in white robes that hung in Gwyneria's cabin. Of course it depicted the gods. How had I not realized that before?

  “Do their ever...visit? How is any of that known? Humans have gods too, but there isn’t the kind of universal consensus about them that the fae have.”

  “Not just the fae, everyone in Avalon. The gods aren’t fae. They’re something other, far more powerful. Or they were…” Aderyn trailed off sadly.

  “As for visiting, it’s not straightforward. The gods commune with the spirits, deceased fae, and those with the gift of Second Sight can talk to spirits. They receive visions from them if the gods want them to see something,” Briallen added.

  “It’s a powerful gift,” Aderyn mused. “Though it can make those who possess it pariahs of sorts. Many fae fear those who can talk to spirits.”

  I pondered their words and decided I’d rather be an empath than see dead fae everywhere I went. Screw that. Especially if I had to listen to them. Emotions were quite enough to be dealing with.

  “Aren’t they hunted? For their gift?” I asked casually, not wanting to draw attention to why I was asking.

  “Never!” Briallen exclaimed. “The last thing dark fae want is to be reachable by the gods. The ability to communicate with spirits is powerful in its own way but isn’t the kind of power that can be stolen or exploited. That’s the kind of power the hunters are after.”

  On second thoughts, maybe the talking-to-dead-fae thing wouldn’t be so bad if it meant being left alone.

  “So, the six gods are responsible for all of the magic in Avalon, not just the fae, but fae magic is dying? What about everyone else’s?” I asked.

  “Only fae magic is dying,” Briallen confirmed, her voice tinged with sadness. “The fae were once the most powerful race in Avalon, now we're probably the weakest. We’re no match for goblin magic or mermaid powers now. Let alone the dragons.”

  “Um, okay, let’s definitely schedule that magical creatures conversation as soon as possible,” I said, already planning another trip to the library in my head. “In my second week, I came across a circle of white marble slabs at the top of a hill in the forest. Is that a representation of the gods?”

  “It’s a temple,” Aderyn replied, her voice heavy. “They used to be busy places, fae would go to the temple to connect with the gods and thank them for their magic. They’re kind of a relic nowadays. The gods aren’t there anymore, the temples are empty.”

  It definitely hadn’t felt empty when that strange magical sensation had engulfed me and held me hostage in the circle. I deliberated whether or not I should tell the girls about it, but in the end decided against it. Probably best not to draw attention to myself. I would just add it to the increasingly long list of secrets I was already keeping.

  Fi

  Opening the door to my cabin after dinner the following night, I spotted another ominous piece of paper had been slid under my door. My heart sunk. Whenever I allowed myself to feel comfortable here, one of these evil little notes would appear, reminding me that I was putting myself in danger by staying.

  I dropped my satchel and picked up the note. Unlike the others, this one had no writing at all, just a drawing. It depicted the same curly-haired girl as the last picture, this time bound in chains and surrounded by small crystals. There were lines of ink running from her body to the crystals, and I realized with dread that it was blood. This is what Gwyneira had said would happen if I was ever captured by the hunters. I would be imprisoned and my magic bled out of me, stored in crystals.

  I curled up in a ball on my bed, staring at the drawing, wondering who might have sent me this and why. My theory that one of the two people who knew about my ability had told a hunter seemed weaker with this latest note. I thought the hunters were telling me to go home so they’d have an opportunity to get to me off-campus, but why would they leave a depiction of what they were going to do to me?

  My other theory that these messages were warnings seemed more and more likely.

  Perhaps I would tell Gwyneira about the notes soon. It seemed unlikely that she’d be the culprit. If she thought I was safer in Albion, she had the opportunity to tell me one-on-one during our tutoring sessions. Sending frightening messages didn’t seem like her style.

  That only left Bryn. I chewed on my lower lip, something in my gut urging me not to believe the worst in him. But he had told me I was trouble right from the moment he’d found out I was an empath. I constantly sensed anger from him directed at me, and if anything, it was getting worse rather than better. Plus we had a powerful mating pull. Having me around was probably messing with his ability to feel other mating pulls since ours was dominant.

  Maybe that was his motive? Use my fear of my empath abiliti
es getting out to convince me to leave Avalon permanently. My head hurt.

  I stored the drawing at the bottom of my satchel with the other notes and went into the bathroom for a long, tepid shower. Gods what I would give for Albion’s plumbing on days like this.

  Forehead resting against the shower wall, I tried to think of how I could be proactive about this situation. I needed answers; not having all the information available to me was almost the worst part about all of this. I decided to investigate my own history first. Specifically, why I was ever left in Albion in the first place and who put me there. Maybe the answers to my current questions lay somewhere in my past.

  ◆◆◆

  “Ffion, please come in,” Gwyneira greeted me, opening the door to her cabin. “I have tea for us.”

  I followed her into the sitting room, and we made small talk about how my lessons had been going while Gwyneira poured the tea.

  “Before we start working on strengthening your mental defenses, is there anything else you wanted to discuss today?” I got the feeling that Gwyneira knew I was hiding things from her but was giving me the chance to come to her when I was ready.

  “Actually yes,” I told her and felt her surprise.

  “Oh?”

  “I was hoping to learn more about my family, actually. Obviously, I don’t have much to go on, though I have reason to believe that ‘Ffion’ was the first name my parents gave me. It was written on my arm when I was found outside the orphanage,” I muttered the last part, embarrassed that I’d been left on the side of the road like trash.

  “The Fae Council holds a record of births and deaths, you could check it to find a Ffion born 20 years ago? You will need to visit the Records Hall; it is around an hour’s flight from here. Are you hoping to reconnect with your family?” She asked hesitantly and I could feel her concern. Maybe she was worried I would be disappointed, I snorted internally. Like I’d want to spend time with the people who left me on the side of the road in a whole different world.

  “Not particularly. I suppose I’m just curious,” I said eventually. Not a lie but not quite the whole truth. I was spending a lot of time telling half-truths lately.

  “Understandably so,” Gwyneira smiled kindly. “I know you want answers but if you go to the Records Hall, you will need to sign in. I am not sure drawing the Council's attention to you would be wise until you have better control over your gift.”

  I searched for a hint of harmful intent in Gwyneira's emotions, but I only found genuine unease. It felt sickly, like a wave of nausea.

  “Perhaps you're right,” I conceded. I wanted answers but I wasn't in a rush to get on any government lists either.

  “Shall we work on your mental shields now? I think we should move on from the brick-by-brick method which clearly was not working for you. I want you to try to visualize a bubble around yourself instead. The visual may resonate more with you, given your air affinity.”

  An hour of visualizing a bubble of air surrounding me to keep the emotions at had resulted in an impromptu blast of air magic knocking over the teacups and not a lot else. I had been so optimistic when I’d started the sessions with Gwyneira that I’d find a way to shut the emotions out. Now, I was resigning myself to the fact that this might be my life forever. I hadn’t had a migraine since I’d arrived at the Academy, but the fear that I’d get overwhelmed by emotions in a crowd and everyone would realize I was an empath was crippling.

  Marlen had met me in the forest outside Gwyneira’s cabin to keep me company on the walk back to the main campus. His light, playful demeanor was a soothing balm on my soul.

  “Foxglove, I was hoping I could set up a little dinner date for the two of us in your cabin tonight? I’d offer mine but Kelvyn is there and he’s a real asshole about guests. Perhaps you could hang out with Briallen for a bit beforehand while I get it ready?” Marlen was giving me his best puppy dog eyes and radiating hopefulness.

  I had been pretty protective over my cabin with the messages and all, but I felt like I could trust Marlen alone in there. Things had been heating up between us over the past couple of weeks, and the way he spoke about the future made it clear he imagined me in it. This date night was the perfect opportunity for me to tell him about my empath abilities. Hopefully, he’d take it all in stride, and we could celebrate. Ideally, with several orgasms.

  “Of course. Are you sure you don’t want a hand setting up? I’ll love it even if it isn’t a surprise.” I leaned forward, lightly kissing him and linking our hands together. I was finding it nearly impossible to be around him without somehow touching him.

  “I know you would. You go far too easy on me, really. I’m trying to court you here. You should be demanding flowers and jewelry and dinner dates,” he winked and leaned forward until his lips grazed my ear. “And oral. You should be demanding that you come on my tongue at least once a day.”

  I snorted. “That would be going easy on you. You would enjoy that far too much.”

  “You wound me, foxglove,” he said, feigning an arrow to the heart. “Maybe you’re secretly making this hard on me after all.”

  ◆◆◆

  I had spent an hour hanging out in Leigh and Briallen’s cabin while Marlen prepared our dinner date. I had assumed Briallen had a female roommate but apparently after the claiming marks appeared, bonded mates lived together. It seemed like there was more bonded fae than not on campus; I don’t know how I missed this. Gods, no wonder the mysterious messenger had been able to get the jump on me three times now. My powers of observation were seriously lacking.

  I made my way back to my cabin and kicked myself for not picking out a sexier outfit beforehand. I was in one of my shorter linen dresses, a thick woolen cardigan, no shoes, and I had pulled my hair into a thick braid tied with a strip of linen. It could have been worse but I didn’t really look like I’d made an effort and I knew Marlen was inside pulling out all the stops.

  “Marlen? Can I come in now?”

  “Of course, foxglove. I’m all ready for you.” Marlen pulled open the door and pulled me into his arms for a slow, seductive kiss before walking me to the table and pulling out a chair for me. It was all very gentlemanly, and it made me gooey inside, knowing that he had done all of this for me. The cabin smelled delicious, the rich aroma of spices coming from an earthenware pot on the table.

  “It's lentil stew,” he said, taking the chair opposite me and pulling the lid off the dish. “Nothing gourmet but it’s great comfort food. My mam makes it for us in winter. I know I get sick of the raw food at the commons; I thought you might appreciate it.”

  He smiled up at me and he looked so breathtakingly handsome in the candlelight that I nearly skipped the food in favor of dragging him straight to bed. But that couldn’t happen until I’d been frank with him about my gift. I didn’t want to lead him any further down this track until false pretenses.

  “This looks incredible. Thank you for going to all this effort. It’s like you read my mind; I have been missing hot food lately.” I spooned the stew into my bowl as Marlen poured us each a glass of what I assumed was red wine, though it had a distinct glittery quality to it I’d never seen in Albion.

  “Fae wine,” he winked. “It’s pretty potent. I’ll only give you a little to start with.”

  “I’m sure it’s delicious, but I did want to talk to you about something, er, important.” I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

  “Probably best to do it with a clear head. I’ll keep the glass. I may well need a swig or ten after we’re done this chat.” I told the table, unable to meet Marlen’s eyes.

  “Fi? What is it?” he asked, radiating concern.

  “Do you want to maybe eat first then talk?”

  “I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on anything else now you’ve brought it up, foxglove, you’ve really got me worried.” Gods, this man was too sweet. I didn’t want to ruin him with my burden.

  “Okay well, hopefully this chat goes well, and we can eat and discuss it an
d not ruin this lovely meal,” I laughed nervously then exhaled, willing myself to calm down.

  “You know I’m still on the fence about this whole mating thing,” I started slowly.

  “Believe me, I’m well aware,” he said wryly. He didn’t feel angry though, just resigned.

  “Right. Well, I’m still unsure about everything, but you’ve become so important to me. Whatever this is…” I trailed off awkwardly. “I don’t want secrets between us, and this is kind of a big one. You should know what you’re getting into with me.”

  I waited to feel his bitterness. I had just admitted to keeping a big secret from him and told him to his face that I planned to keep stringing him along, after all. The bitterness never came though. Marlen was still worried but mostly curious, with a tiny glimmer of hopefulness I didn’t quite understand.

  This is why being around Marlen was so dangerous. I was always surrounded by people’s cynical and jaded emotions, but Marlen’s soul was joyful and bright. His was the kind of soul I could fall in love with.

  “It’s actually about my magic. You know I have an air affinity but I, um, also have a gifted ability. You never asked me if I did, and I never volunteered the information. I didn’t mean to deceive you,” I rushed out awkwardly.

  Marlen’s worry dissipated significantly, and I caught his amusement. “I’m not mad, foxglove. My magic wouldn’t have called so strongly to yours if you’d only had an air affinity. After the message on your wardrobe, Bryn mentioned you had a gifted ability but said it was your story to tell, so I didn’t push it.”

  That was surprisingly decent of Bryn. I filed that away for later consideration. Marlen smiled, reaching for my hand across the table. “Are you going to indulge me now? You’ve piqued my curiosity.”

  “I know,” I sighed.

  “You know?”

  “I know I’ve piqued your curiosity. Just like I know you’re not mad. And I know you were worried when I said I had something to tell you and you thought it was funny when I said I didn’t mean to deceive you. I know how you feel. How everyone feels.”