TDX2 - Too Dull To Die
Page 7
pointed to himself in the chaos. “Yes, I can see you now.” Satan went over and watched the scene unfold. The young Guido was standing at the end of the queue, waiting for his friend. Another much larger boy called to him from the front and after a slight hesitation, the young Guido joined him.
“I thought I could cheat him out of his place. The rule was pairs only, so I thought that once my friend came to the queue, I would pair up with him at the front, leaving this other boy to find another pair.”
“Ah, so bad, so bad, queue jumping.” Another young boy appeared and looked very disappointed, especially when the young Guido chickened out on his plan. “Oh, this is even worse than I thought. You let someone down.”
“Yes, I did. I was weak.”
“You were bad, can’t you see that? Okay, not like ‘kill someone bad’, but bad all the same.” Guido saw that Satan looked very pleased with himself. Guido wasn’t pleased, he felt awful. Maybe Satan was right. Guido felt even worse when the wire between himself and Satan’s TT stretched to way beyond its normal limit.
“Ahh! Help!” Guido was being pulled away from the scene at an enormous rate.
“Oh, stop it.” Guido heard a familiar voice.
“Graham! Where were you?” Guido was very happy to see him, but was in tremendous pain as the wire stretched further. Graham’s TT linked its wire to Guido’s forehead, and now he had two wires stuck to his head.
“After you were taken, I had to finish my shift. I came as soon as I could.”
“He was going to…going to…I don’t know what he was going to do to me! I’m already dead!”
“There are worse things than death. Take 17 series of ‘Blankety Blank’, for instance.”
“Ooo, yes.”
“Or ‘Going for Gold’ with that Irish guy, Henry Kelly, that’s definitely a contender.”
“Where are we going?”
“Back to base, it’s safer.” Guido felt Satan’s wire tightening. “Wow, that moped of his has got some speed.”
Guido looked back. “No, he’s just pulling himself in on my wire!” Both of them were now looking back.
“Oh, yes, so he is.” Satan was getting closer, reeling in the wire. “Quick, think!” Guido tried to think of something and off they popped, into the tunnel, with Satan on their tail.
“Why doesn’t this wire break? It hurts!”
“That’s why I let mine slip from your forehead before, I didn’t want you to get hurt. I also knew I could find you again, no matter where you were.” Graham looked back, and Satan was gaining on them in the tunnel. “He, on the other hand, doesn’t care.” Guido had to ask the question.
“Was I really a bad person?”
“You were on my list, that proves you were good.” Guido thought Graham’s answer was too simple, too easy.
“But I liked doing bad things!”
Graham twisted his accelerator harder, the pull from Satan’s moped was almost too much for the bike. “Were you bad in the memories you saw with Satan?” Guido nodded. “That couldn’t have been you, Guido, if you had enjoyed it. That must’ve been hobgoblins. I bet Satan didn’t show you them, did he?”
“I didn’t see one.” Guido was in pain.
“That’s because he probably pressed this switch.” Graham took out his TT and showed Guido over his shoulder the ‘No unspecified non-physical entities’ button in right click submenu of the image icon. “Trust me, if you felt good about doing bad things, there was a hobgoblin on your shoulder.” Graham hit another switch. “We can check, all you have to do is think back to those memories again!”
“Okay!” The bubble soon stuck around them again and out they popped, back to the Art lesson. This time, they didn’t stop, just flew through. Guido now saw the hobgoblin on York’s shoulder, as in his first classroom memory. And there it was, unbelievable as it was, a hobgoblin, perched on his own young shoulder whispering nasty nothings into his ear. “What the…?” The bubble popped around them and they simultaneously entered the bus queue scene.
“What the…?” It was Graham’s turn to get a shock. Along with all the children shouting, fighting and squabbling with each other, there was a mass of hobgoblins flying between them, jumping on shoulders, whispering and moving to their next victim. “I’ve never seen anything like this before! Look! Is that you?”
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Two hobgoblins had decided to make young Guido’s shoulders their homes. They even had sandwiches. Graham looked back and Satan was still on them, pulling in the wire. Guido couldn’t believe his eyes, either.
“Look!” The hobgoblins, about two dozen in all, were looking straight at them. “How…?”
“Ooops. I forgot about that. I don’t do this kind of thing every day, you know.”
“What did you forget?” Guido watched as the hobgoblins started flying towards them, ignoring the children below.
“That they’re not from the physical universe, either. They’re the same as us and so not held by the limitations of physical time and place.” Graham twisted the accelerator further than it was possible and Guido heard an ominous twang.
“They’re coming!”
“Then think of something!” The motorbike was losing power.
“I feel funny!” Guido’s head started spinning with the pain and stress of all that was going on.
“That’s because you have two TTs stuck to your forehead. Come to think of it, that’s a first. Your name, however irritating it is, will go down in the books for that.” Something very hot flashed by Guido’s ear.
“What was that?”
“A zap! Satan’s playing rough!”
“Don’t we have enough problems?” Guido was surprised how fast these hobgoblins flew. Graham turned around and shot a zap from his right hand towards Satan, just missing the moped. Another zap flashed by Guido’s other ear. “Help?”
“Yes, you can.” That wasn’t the help Guido was asking for. “Use your head, think of something! Make a distraction!” Zaps were now flying between the two vehicles, none of them on target. “I might be able to hit him if he’s not looking!”
“What about those things?”
“They can’t follow us, if we can get out of here in time!”
“Right.”
“So think!” Graham let go of the accelerator causing it to spin back and tried again. The motorbike began to pick up speed again.
“Like what?”
“Anything!” A zap skimmed off the motorbike’s exhaust pipe. “That was too close.” Guido thought of something, Graham’s ’worse than death’ gave him an idea. A bubble appeared and both themselves and Satan entered a sing and dance number from ‘The Rocky Horror Show’. “I said something to distract him, not entertain him! But good idea. Actually, think television, that should do it. There’s enough distraction on that.” Graham was right, the hobgoblins were now gone, but Satan was still behind, and getting closer.
“Sorry.” Guido thought again, this time of an old cardboard scenery episode of ‘Doctor Who’, one made before the new state-of-the-art effects came in and ruined the programme.
“Guido! What was that?”
“Something scary? I used to hide behind the settee during every episode.” A zap clipped Guido’s foot. “Ouch! That hurt even more than the wire!”
“Quick!” Guido opened up yet another scene, with long dry grass moving in the wind, and a horse-drawn cart pootling along a dusty road carrying an all smiling American family onboard. “Oh my…”
“It’s ‘Little House on the Prairie’. It used to scare the hell out of me!” They both looked back to see Satan’s reaction. It was one of disbelief. Graham took the opportunity and zapped Satan, who fell off his moped. The wire from Satan slipped off Guido and they rode off out of the tunnel with a ‘pop’.
Satan sat in the long grass and picked up the pieces which were once his TT. “Well, better get back, then.” He stood up and slowly disappeared ‘down below’.
(Back to Top)
10
“I’m so glad that’s finished.” Guido found a bench and sat down, tired out. Graham sat next to him.
“Yes, it got a bit hot in there, but we made it.” Graham looked at his watch and stood up. “Let’s go hand this RE-TDx2 form in to Mavis and see what she recommends.” Guido followed Graham back to Mavis’s desk. It had all been a bit much for him. He’d almost forgotten why they’d started.
“Hello, Mavis.” Graham put the form on the counter, along with his day’s completed list.
“Hello.” Mavis took the list and the form. “What’s this?”
“It’s an RE-TDx2 form. You gave it to me earlier.”
“Oh, did I? Did I really? Oh yes.” Mavis looked it over and stared at Guido, who didn’t know where to put himself. “He still hasn’t changed.”
“He’s been through a lot today, I think. Satan babysitted him for a while, too.” Mavis just nodded and concentrated on the form.
“Where’s my TT?” Graham passed the device over to Mavis. “Thank you.”
“What, no laugh, Guido?”
“It’s lost its charm.” Guido turned away, his head hurt.
“And my pen?” Graham searched through his pockets and handed over her pen. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Looks like he has to go and see the Big Man.” She banged the