Accursed Space - A Dark Space Fantasy (Star Mage Saga - A Dark Space Fantasy Book 5)

by J. J. Green

  “I Cast to find you, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay to come and see you. The others don’t know. You won’t tell them, right?”

  His big brown eyes were shiny.

  “Of course I won’t!” She pulled her brother into a hug and sat down on the floor with him on her lap, happiness and anguish coursing through her.

  He rested his head on her chest. “I missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. So much. I’ve missed all of you.”

  “If you miss me, why don’t you come and see me? Is it because Parthenia doesn’t want you to?”

  She heaved a deep sigh. “It isn’t Parthenia’s fault. It’s just better this way. You know how you feel what I feel? I always seem to be angry or upset when I’m around you guys. I don’t want to hurt you any more.”

  “It hurts more when you’re not around,” he said quietly.

  An aching sob rose in her chest. She didn’t want to cause him any more pain, the stars knew. She loved him deeply, the same as she loved all her brothers and sisters.

  She was trapped. No matter what she did, she was the bane of her siblings’ lives.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Darius’s unhappiness sparked a change of heart in Carina. The following morning, she sat brooding in her cabin, wondering if she’d given up on her relationship with her family too soon. Now they were on their journey to Earth, perhaps she could avoid exposing them to danger, hurting them, and generally ruining everything. She decided to give things one last try.

  But any potential reconciliation faced a major obstacle: Parthenia.

  Her oldest sister was the one who had persuaded the others to shut her out, she was sure of it. And not without justification. She had crossed the line with Parthenia on more than one occasion, and though it had always been for the girl’s safety and protection, she clearly didn’t see it that way.

  The girl had changed a lot since Carina had first gotten to know her. She had never been the meek, obliging character she’d portrayed to the world—that had been made evident the moment she’d helped to defeat the Sherrerr guards in the Nightfall, after the mage siblings had destroyed the Dirksen shipyard—but as time had passed she’d grown even stronger and more assertive.

  And if Carina had harbored any doubt about the girl’s inner steel, it had been put to bed when she’d punched their brother, Castiel, and escaped from Langley Dirksen’s clutches without any help from anyone.

  She had a huge amount of respect for Parthenia, yet somehow she seemed to have given her the opposite impression. If she could convince her of that and try to explain things from her own perspective, maybe they could find a way forward.

  Before she’d moved her things to a cabin far distant from the suite her siblings occupied, in order to avoid the mutual embarrassment of bumping into them by accident, Carina had ‘borrowed’ something personal from each of them. These were not valuable items or anything that would be missed—a pencil that Darius had used, one of Oriana’s hair pins, and so on. As well as serving as a small connection to the people she loved, Carina had also taken the things as a way of finding them in an emergency. Darius seemed to have done the same for her and maybe the other children, too.

  Her need at the moment didn’t exactly constitute an emergency, but it was important enough to warrant the mild invasion of privacy.

  She reached under her bed and pulled out a box, lifting it onto her lap. She opened the lid. Among the rest of her family’s personal artifacts inside lay several strands of hair she taken from Parthenia’s comb. She took them out and wrapped them around her hand.

  After closing her eyes, she Cast Locate.

  The Bathsheba, gray and eerie, swam into focus in her mind’s eye. The vast ship, its serried levels, and its pulsing engines were faintly illuminated lines in the dark void. Slightly brighter than the vessel’s infrastructure were the individuals aboard her. Tiny figures moved along the corridors, rose up or sank down in the elevators, or congregated in the dining rooms, the viewing dome, and the gym. Others lay in their beds, sleeping before rising for the quiet shift, or floated in minute oval bubbles in the Deep Sleep chamber.

  A single bright spark shone out: Parthenia was leaving the gym, and she seemed to be alone.

  Perfect.

  Carina would be able to speak to her in private, out of the hearing of their siblings. They could thrash out their problems and come to a better understanding.

  She set off to see her sister.

  ***

  Parthenia was physically drained but happy after her session training in unarmed combat. Learning the moves wasn’t difficult but she grew tired quickly when practicing them. The instructor, Atoi, had advised her to work out every day, focusing on building her upper body strength. She intended to follow the advice. She’d grown tired of trying to understand the sims—the characters spoke a foreign language that the computer translated really badly—and she’d gotten tired of spending most of her time with her brothers and sisters. They were kids and only interested in kids’ stuff. A daily work out would give her something to do.

  Not that she’d been spending all her time with her siblings, she reminded herself, a flush stealing over her face. After that first dinner with Kamil, when they’d talked for hours about where they’d come from, their lives before they’d ended up aboard the Bathsheba, and so many other things, most of which she’d forgotten, they’d met several more times.

  Kamil was eighteen, she’d discovered, and he came from a planet deep within Dirksen territory. His country was cool and wet, he’d told her, and in the winter snow and ice lay on the ground four meters deep. The people wore long flat blades on their feet to help them get around, and, in the summer, everyone had to wear all-body suits to protect them from biting insects.

  He’d wanted to try to find a place where the politicians weren’t all corrupt and controlled by the Dirksen clan, but he hadn’t had enough money to even get offplanet, so he’d joined the military.

  Then he’d discovered the military was also in the pockets of the Dirksens, so as soon as he had the chance, when his unit had set down on another planet, Martha’s Rest, he’d absconded. That had been when he’d joined the Black Dogs, while the band was preparing for the raid on Ostillon.

  After hearing his story, Parthenia thought Kamil fit an awful lot into his eighteen years, but then, since her father had made the move to involve his family in the Sherrerr war with its rival clan, her life had been busy too.

  At their fourth meeting, they’d kissed.

  She felt her face grow even hotter with the memory.

  “Parthenia!” a voice called from behind her.

  She halted and, flustered, surreptitiously fanned her neck in an attempt to return her skin to its usual color.

  “Hey, Parthenia,” the person behind her said. “I was hoping I would find you here.”

  Knowing she was still embarrassingly red-faced, she turned around.

  “How did the combat session go?” Kamil asked.

  “Great,” she replied. “Hard work, but really great.”

  “You look like you need a refreshing drink. Want to get one together?”

  “I’d love to!”

  They walked on.

  “Who was coaching you?” asked Kamil.

  When Parthenia told him, he grimaced and said, “She trained me too. She’s a hard ass but I learned a lot.”

  “I didn’t think she pushed us too hard. I mean, if it doesn’t hurt, you’re not improving, right?”

  Kamil laughed. “You got that from her, didn’t you?”

  Parthenia replied, slightly defensively, “What if I did?”

  Raising his hands, Kamil said, “I don’t mean anything. It’s just I remember her saying that.” He spread his legs, stood on his tiptoes, put one hand on his hip, moved his shoulders back, waggled a finger at Parthenia and said in a deep voice, “If it don’t hurt, you’re not improving.”

  She chuckled.

  “So, what did you learn?
” asked Kamil as they continued walking.

  “We focused mostly on defense today.”

  “Want to show me some moves?”

  “Sure,” said Parthenia, happy to show off what she’d learned. “Why don’t you try to grab me from behind?”

  “Okay, walk a little way ahead.”

  She walked a few paces farther, listening for Kamil’s approach. She’d expected him to run at her, but she couldn’t hear him so she guessed he was going to try to surprise her.

  Suddenly, his arm dropped over her face.

  He was going for a choke hold.

  Before he had a chance to get a good grip, she pushed her chin toward her chest, forcing his arm away from her neck. He wasn’t pressing in forcefully. She went to elbow him in his stomach—not too hard—but before she had time to make contact, she heard the crack of a blow on flesh.

  Kamil’s hold on her was instantly released.

  A body hit the floor.

  Parthenia spun around.

  Kamil was sprawled out and Carina was standing over him, drawing her elbow back, preparing to punch him again.

  Parthenia screamed and leapt at her sister. “What the hell are you doing? Leave him alone!” She grabbed Carina’s arm.

  “He was trying to hurt you!” Carina shouted, struggling with her. “I’m gonna make him regret it!”

  Kamil was stirring. He sat up and shook his head. Then he noticed the sisters fighting. A look of alarm on his face, he scooted away from them on his butt.

  “He’s my friend!” Parthenia exclaimed as she wrestled with her sister. “I was showing him what I learned at combat training today, you idiot!”

  “Huh?” Carina said, then she seemed to finally understand as she stopped trying to break free.

  “I think you misunderstood,” said Kamil, standing up and rubbing a spot above his ear.

  “He’s my friend,” Parthenia repeated, tears of anger and shame spilling from her eyes. She pushed Carina away from her. “Why do you always have to interfere? Why? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

  “I-I saw him attack you,” Carina faltered. “I just thought…I wanted to protect you.”

  “When are you going to understand I don’t need your help? I don’t need you!”

  “Parthenia,” Kamil said gently, “I’m sure it was an honest mistake. Anyone seeing what I did wouldn’t have known—”

  “It wasn’t you, it was her!” she exclaimed. “She’s always butting in, trying to control everything I do, always overreacting. I’m sick of it!”

  “Okaaay, I think I’d better give you two some space,” Kamil said. “No hard feelings,” he added to Carina before leaving.

  Parthenia faced her sister, her hands clenched at her sides.

  Carina said, “I’m s—”

  “For the last time, leave me alone,” Parthenia said between her teeth. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you ever again. Stay out of my life!”

  Her sister went to speak, but she changed her mind. She nodded, and then walked away.

  Parthenia drew in a shuddering breath and wiped her eyes.

  Maybe this time Carina would finally get the message.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The time had finally come. Carina faced the open, empty Deep Sleep capsule. She was alone on an upper tier in the chamber except for one of the Black Dog’s medics, who sat at the entrance, interface in hand, checking the list of who was to enter stasis that day.

  Never in her life had she undergone anything resembling Deep Sleep. She hadn’t even had an operation or any other medical procedure—Nai Nai had warned her to avoid splicers at all costs, fearful that they might investigate her genome and discover something odd and unique to mages. From that moment onward, she would be on the slippery slope to captivity and enslavement, or torture, if she refused to ‘perform’.

  The fact that one of Mezban’s soldiers had already died didn’t help her feelings of trepidation. The man had been entirely normal and healthy, yet the capsule had signaled he was passing away. Though the medics got him out and treated him in record time, nothing had worked. He’d never woken up; never knew he was dying. Perhaps that was for the best.

  She looked around the chamber. The capsules in the lower tiers were already filled with mercs, many of whom had entered stasis soon after the voyage began. Cadwallader had entered his, too, leaving Atoi in charge, and so had Carina’s brothers and sisters.

  She remembered the farewells of her siblings with painful clarity.

  The previous months of rarely even seeing her brothers and sisters, let alone interacting with them, had been difficult to endure. She’d thought her years of living alone on the street as a child had accustomed her to a solitary life, and that was probably true, but when it came to her siblings, she’d found being apart from them torturous.

  She’d missed them all deeply, and every night she’d worried about their welfare, rarely getting more than a few hours’ sleep. Yet after the embarrassing incident with Parthenia, she’d ceased questioning the wisdom of her self-imposed separation.

  There was no doubt in her mind that she was bad news for her brothers and sisters.

  Yet when she’d encountered them all again outside the Deep Sleep chamber, the difficulties of the past eight months had faded to nothing. Faced with the prospect of never seeing each other again, they had clung to each other as tightly as if the hull had breached and depressurization was trying to rip them apart.

  Except for Parthenia. She’d stood away from her siblings as they’d each hugged goodbye, glowering.

  Now, they were all nestled in stasis chambers like baby birds in translucent eggs. She hoped to the stars she would see them all again. Perhaps she could still find a better way forward with them, once they woke up.

  Five years from now.

  Their capsules had been programmed to wake them up five years hence. After that, she and her family would live out several months aboard the ship before entering Deep Sleep again.

  At the meeting where the rota had been decided, Cadwallader had suggested dividing the mages into two groups to spread out the benefit of their powers to the ship’s defense, but Carina and Parthenia had argued as one that the family should never be split up.

  She gazed at the smooth, pale gray interior of the place where she would spend the next five years. Tiny holes peppered the inner surface, from which the liquid nutrient would spray after the capsule sealed. Before that happened, she should already be unconscious.

  From what she’d heard, the experience was supposed to be like falling asleep and waking up again, though complete recovery took about a week.

  She thumped the heel of her hand against her forehead.

  That was enough speculation. It was time to get in.

  “Carina!”

  Bryce.

  His voice had come from below. She turned and peered over the railing. He was walking across the floor of the chamber.

  “Wait there,” he said. “I’m coming up.”

  A realization hit her like an explosive going off—this was why she had delayed entering stasis.

  As his footsteps echoed on the metal treads, a surge of relief washed over her. She couldn’t go into stasis without saying goodbye to him. They’d hardly spoken as the months had passed, just small talk or the necessary conversations related to ship’s business. He’d seemed okay, but whenever they spoke it was like he’d been holding something back. But then maybe the same had been true of her.

  He emerged onto the walkway. “Carina, I…”

  She stepped quickly toward him and fell into his arms.

  For several moments, she couldn’t speak. Bryce also said nothing.

  “I just had to see you before you—”

  “I know, I know,” said Carina. “I’m glad you came.”

  She luxuriated in his embrace, wishing she could stand there forever.

  “When do you go in?” she asked.

  “Tonight. A couple of hours from now.” H
is hug tightened. “Stay safe, okay? I couldn’t bear it if I never saw you again.”

  “Me either,” Carina whispered.

  “Then why the distance between us? I mean, I do understand why…what you’re afraid of. But what you think isn’t true. You’re too hard on yourself.”

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I think I can see that now.” She felt like she was drowning, choking. She’d never doubted how much she loved him. It was because of that she’d kept away. But maybe she’d been wrong. Or was she being selfish, wanting to be with him knowing that he would end up hurt?

  Holding him felt too good. She had to break away or she might never manage it.

  “I have to go,” she murmured.

  “I know.”

  His arms slipped away from her as he looked her intently in the eyes. “When we wake up, we’ll try again, right?”

  Anxiety and doubt rushed up from her stomach, but she swallowed them down. “Yes. Let’s try.”

  He grinned, leaned forward, and kissed her lips. “It’ll be like waking up tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  Then he turned and strode away. When he reached the floor, he waved before leaving the chamber.

  Her apprehension eased, Carina faced the capsule once more. If she didn’t survive stasis, at least she’d made her peace with the people she loved.

  She took off her clothes, folded them, and placed them on the shelf next to the opening. She put her flask of elixir on top of the pile, though she was unsure if the liquid would remain effective for years.

  Step in, sit down, and wait. That’s the trigger that activates the Deep Sleep process. The chamber does the rest. That’s what the tech had said.

  She climbed in. The base was smooth and cool under her bare feet.

  A soft hum sounded. The outer half of the shell swung inward and closed with a snick. She was shut inside the small space.

  She was not unconscious. Why wasn’t she unconscious yet?

  Panicking, she tried to stand up but hit her head on the ceiling.

  Why wasn’t stasis working?