Ruin & Reliance
Page 113
“My pain is intense, and it is still with me,” Duke Jovan said.
“Because you refuse to let it go, my lord. You are so consumed with hatred that it has become your blood and breath,” Fenella said.
“I have good cause to remain angry! My family will never be returned to me!” Duke Jovan said.
“No, they won’t, my lord. But your endless anger will ruin all that remains of the good man who once felt love,” Fenella said.
“My anger gave me the power and determination to defeat these warlords before they could destroy even more lives and tear apart more families. They won’t have to live like me,” Duke Jovan said.
“Even though you’re alive, you’re dying before my very eyes, my lord. I can feel your hate,” Fenella said.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Fenella. Tell me that these greedy and bloodthirsty barons, counts and dukes didn’t deserve to be killed. Tell me that I haven’t saved more people from the fate that I was made to suffer,” Duke Jovan said.
“Maybe you did save innocent lives by destroying the guilty. If that’s true, then that’s great, and you should feel glad and be at peace. Instead, you’re throwing away your own life right now. I know your thoughts. I feel your emotions. You still hate your enemies, even though they’re dead. You still want to fight and kill. You still want revenge. You want to destroy their very souls. You want to torment them even after they’re gone,” Fenella said.
“They deserve to die many deaths as punishment for their cruelty,” Duke Jovan said.
“You don’t need to fight every battle, my lord. You don’t need to suffer every wrong. You don’t need to feel every loss. You don’t need to die every death. You do need to live your one life,” Fenella said.
“My life has all but ended, Fenella. All that remains of my story is to deal justice to every despot. I will hunt and kill them without end,” Duke Jovan said.
“I can only hope that you will see how wrong you are, my lord. Until then, you will find, hate, fight and destroy everyone you judge as evil. I suppose Judith will have many stories to write because of you,” Fenella said.
“What will you write in your book today, Chronicler?” Duke Jovan asked.
“I will write that this battle was fought, that you appeared in this place when the conflict ended and that you said many things. I will also write that the already desolate land was broken, burned, ruined and then given new life after the song. Then, I will continue on my own journey. I may follow you for part of yours, yet my heart will not follow your heart into ruin. Even though I have witnessed death and written its tragic stories over the centuries, I no longer let them overtake my thoughts or feelings. When I am troubled or confused by the pain in this world, I rely on God to give me guidance, so that hate and vengeance have no place within me. Whenever I see love, I welcome it into my life while writing its story. Everyone who befriends me is part of my family, and I visit them and record their stories as I travel over the lands, voyage across the oceans and live through the ages,” Judith said.
END