by Shea Lynn
I nodded and grabbed her hand, leading her to my small patio in the backyard. It was dark outside. Cicadas and crickets provided the background music and the glow of a nearly full moon provided us with light. We sat down, our hands never parting.
“The trip’s in the morning. I just had to see you before I go,” she said.
“I’m glad you came.”
Sidney smiled back at me. “I’m glad I came, too.”
Her smile faded and she stared out at the darkness of my wilting backyard. I could hear her voice tremble when she spoke again. “I don’t want to take this trip.”
I didn’t want her to go either. I wanted to escape with her. To kiss her lips until mine went numb; to hold her close and caress the most sacred part of her until we were both slick with sweat and our limbs were a tangled mix of brown flesh.
I studied her as much as I could in the dim glow of the moon.
Sidney swallowed thickly. “What about you? Me going away with him doesn’t bother you?”
I sighed. “It does. But I don’t know…I feel like soon…I’ll get to have you for the rest of my life. What’s the rush?”
Her eyes watered as she gazed at me. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I kissed the back of her hand before her phone rang and she told Aaron she was on her way home. We stood then and as I pulled her toward the house, she tugged on my hand and pulled me in close. She kissed my lips softly.
“I love you,” she whispered again. I saw Sidney out. Followed her as she made her way to her red sedan and drove away. Stood there long after she was gone. The tingle of her kiss still dancing on my lips.
Chapter Sixty: Sidney
She didn’t want me to go away any more than I wanted to be separated from her; I could see the longing in her eyes, I felt it in her kiss. She was being strong for me; supporting me in a most unselfish way.
My heart was heavy as I pulled away from the curb. I was in a fog that evening as Aaron and I finished the last of packing for our trip. The packing gave me something to do and by the time we went to bed, it didn’t take long for sleep to find me.
The Grand Meadows Resort was about two hours northwest of Chicago in a small, remote town near the Wisconsin border. I’d been nervous about the trip; nervous about spending so much time alone with Aaron and nervous about being trapped away from the comforts of civilization.
Aaron and I shared small talk as we drove and though I thought things might be awkward between us, but they weren’t. And as we neared the lodge, my fears about being stranded away from civilization melted away.
The resort was in the middle of nowhere, but it was practically its own city. It was large and expansive. We drove in through a large sign bearing the resort’s name, past beautifully blooming plants, flowers, and shrubs.
The sky was a clear blue, with only a few stubborn clouds floating by. It was getting close to the middle of June and the trees and grass were a perfect emerald green and pretty in the sunshine. Our SUV eased along a smoothly paved road that wound through the property. We checked in at the main office before making our way to the cabin.
The word “cabin” was pretty much an understatement. The “cabin” Aaron had rented was a spacious, ranch-style bungalow made of a light pine wood. The lawn of the cabin was professionally landscaped; a mixture of colorful flowers, manicured shrubs, flowing willow trees, and a beautiful carpet of that emerald green grass.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered.
“You like it?” Aaron asked. I knew by his tone that he was smiling.
“I love it,” I answered.
We hurried inside and I found myself just as amazed with the interior as I’d been with the exterior. The scent of fresh pine greeted us as we stepped inside. It was all wood, a big round rug covering the floor in the front room, right in front of the fireplace.
We walked around the rest of the cabin. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, and the large living area. We were standing in the master bedroom when I looked over at Aaron and said, “Thank you.”
He smiled.
I was overwhelmed by the beauty of what surrounded me; overwhelmed by the effort my husband had taken to plan out this short vacation. I walked over slowly to Aaron and hugged him.
“Thank you. This is absolutely breathtaking. I can’t believe you found this place.”
Aaron hugged me to him and said, “I had a little help from Darnell.”
I sighed then; a heavy weight tugging my smile away. It had become impossible to escape my own duplicity; impossible to pause the burden of balancing my wants and my reality.
We separated and I pulled my hair behind my ear, asking “How is Darnell?”
Aaron shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been pretty MIA this week. I figure he’s pretty busy.”
We unpacked the vehicle and changed from our road-trip gear into our relaxed and vacationing outfits. At the front desk, we’d been told about a tour of the resort that was happening at 11:30.
We raced around getting ready and as we prepared to leave the cabin, Aaron pulled me to him with a warm smile. He held his hands at my waist.
“Did I do good, Babe?” he asked me.
I was suddenly nervous being so close to him, almost afraid he could see through me and into the secret places I held away from him. I swallowed thickly, my skin hot and prickly, my lips dry.
“You did great,” I replied.
Aaron smiled broadly. “Did I? Are you happy?”
I smiled, hoping my smile was as wide as his, hoping my eyes didn’t betray my anxiety. “I’m happy, Sweetie. Thank you for going to so much trouble.”
“I would do damn near anything to make you smile. We’re going to have a great time.”
I knew he was right. My husband would do just about anything to make me smile.
Chapter Sixty-One: Aaron
Damn. Sidney looked good as hell. I was on a high with the resort and her smiling at me. I wanted to forget the damn tour, pick her up, and take her on into the bedroom, but I knew the tour would only impress her. It would only make things better.
We made it to the tour and rode around on a horse-drawn wagon. We passed by running streams, two large lakes, and the man-made amenities: a large pool area, hot tub, sauna, and a full service spa area.
Damn. I was proud of myself.
When the tour was over, Sidney and I wandered back to one of the lakes. We found a quiet area near one of the lakes and sat down together on the grass. I reached for her hand and we looked out at the water. The early afternoon was fading away into late afternoon
“Thank you,” she said.
“You already thanked me,” I replied.
Sidney looked at me and smiled. “Well, I’m thanking you again. This is really nice.”
I nodded pulled her closer to me. She settled between my legs and leaned against me. I slipped my arms around her waist and held her close, my chin on her shoulder. She smelled good and she felt even better in my arms.
This was one of those moments I wished would never end. I looked around. We were alone. There were a few others off in the distance, but no one near us. I leaned in to her, pulled closer by her sexy scent. I could feel my arousal building, my sex getting turned on by her softness, her sweetness.
I moved her hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck, my hands rubbing around the soft skin of her stomach.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
I kissed around her neck; ran my tongue up to the back of her ear. “Just getting a little nibble,” I replied.
Sidney chuckled. “You do know I’m not edible.”
I smiled into her hair. “You could have fooled me.”
I felt her stomach growl beneath my hands. Mine joined in and pretty soon, they were belting out a tune in harmony.
Sidney stood up and pulled me to my feet. “Come on big boy, let’s get something to eat before we pass out.”
I was reluctant to stand. Again, I wanted t
o head back to the cabin and get my freak on. But I pulled it together and we headed off to one of the resort’s three restaurants. I was on such a high I don’t even remember which one it was.
The food was great. We ate and ate until we were both so full, all we could do was sit back and smile at each other. Damn I had a beautiful wife. I will admit it. I have looked at other women. I mean hell, I’m only human. And there are some fine ass women out there. But Sidney was beautiful.
I don’t know if it was the haze of the good food coma mixed with the wine we’d had or what, but she was stunning. She seemed even more relaxed and her brown sugar cheeks had a cute rosy glow from the single glass of red wine she'd sipped on between bites.
“You ready to head back?” I asked her.
Sidney nodded. “I am.”
I smiled, ready to put my well-crafted plans into action. After I settled the tab, I walked her over to the building with the spa treatments and asked her to pick out something for the next day.
Sidney smiled at me. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Go ahead and set it up for the morning. Figure out what you want. I’m going to head back and get us ready for the evening. Okay?”
Sidney eyed me curiously. She looked hella cute trying to figure me out. But eventually, she just chuckled and said, “Okay. I’ll see you in a minute.”
I kissed her lips once more and then headed back to the cabin.
Chapter Sixty-Two: Sidney
I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I had no real plan. I wanted to try and give him this trip and then maybe, when we got home I could break the news to him that I wanted out. I just didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t want to hurt him.
After dinner, I made my way to the front desk to inquire about the spa treatments. A young woman who was probably close to my age smiled at me as I approached the counter. Her dark hair was pulled into a pony tail at the back of her head and she had big, beautiful, brown eyes.
“Hello, I’m Summer. How may I help you?” she asked me, a wide smile on her face, her big brown eyes twinkling at me.
I swallowed thickly.
Summer was beautiful. My eyes couldn’t help but traverse her full lips and note the luster of her smooth, alabaster skin. Her eyes seemed to dip down dreamily as she waited for me to respond.
“Hi…I um..I’d like to find out about the spa treatments you have available,” I finally answered.
Summer smiled at me again. “Of course. We have a range of treatments. Do you know what you had in mind?”
I shook my head, forcing myself to look away from her lips. “Not really. I had a nice massage last week. Maybe a massage?”
The attendant leaned forward, her head dipping conspiratorially. “You know what? How about I just show you around? Maybe that’ll help you narrow it down.”
I nodded then; my throat suddenly very dry.
Summer led me through a set of glass double doors and into the spa treatment area. She had a nice shape. Maybe a little too thin for what I thought was my taste, but she was still nice to look at. When she’d used her key card to open up the double doors, I’d seen a rainbow colored bracelet on her wrist. I wondered if it meant she was into women.
“I’m really not supposed to leave the front desk, but for you, I’ll make an exception,” she whispered to me.
I nodded again.
I was impressed with the tour. The spa was much larger than I thought it would be and as we walked around to the different massage, facial, and mani-pedi rooms, I began to settle on what I thought would be best for me.
As we finished up and headed back to the front desk, I asked her “Summer, do you do any of the massages?”
She smiled at me and again, her heavy eye lids drooped down. “No, but sometimes…sometimes I wish I did.”
I settled on a deep tissue massage and a kelp and cucumber facial for the morning.
I thanked Summer and we parted sharing big smiles. Making my way back to the cabin, I wondered if she had been flirting with me and the thought that she might have been kept me smiling all the way back. The freedom of knowing myself and what I wanted was liberating. Like I was part of a secret club.
I was still smiling when I opened up the front door and walked around to look for Aaron. I found him in the master bedroom, filling the Jacuzzi tub up with warm water and bubbles.
The bubbles reminded me of Nina.
And Nina reminded me of Dayna.
And my smile finally melted away.
“What…what are you doing?” I asked him, my voice shakier than I wanted it to be.
My eyes studied the scene around me. He was chilling a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice on a tray beside the tub. The smell of strawberries enveloped me, the scent wafting over from half a dozen lit candles and from the bubbles now floating on top of the tub’s water.
Aaron was still smiling as he stood up from his ministrations with the tub and the bath water and faced me.
“Hey Sweetie. Thought it might be good to unwind with a nice, warmth bath. I’ll rub you down afterwards. Got some oil already for your shoulders.”
I eyed him curiously. Wondering just how far I could go. Wondering when it was time to finally pull the plug and come clean.
I knew my husband.
The bath and the massage were supposed to lead to us making love.
Aaron was patient and romantic but he was still a man.
And no man plans a weekend getaway with his wife without expecting to get laid.
“Oh shit”, I thought to myself.
I was frozen. Unable to move. Unable to speak. Unable to form a mildly coherent thought.
“Why don’t you get undressed, Babe? Water’s almost ready,” he said, returning to his task at the tub.
My stomach began to knot itself and I rubbed at the back of my neck; anxiety washing over me.
“Just take the bath Sidney. Just give him this last weekend. One weekend. You can do this. You can really do this. And then when you get home, you can tell him that it’s over. Just get through the weekend,” I told myself as I mechanically removed my clothes and slid into the strawberry scented water.
Aaron was right behind me. He raced to undress and then eased into the water himself. He’d turned off the lights and now we were illuminated only by the dancing flames of the strawberry scented candles.
My husband sat across from me, smiling from ear to ear, his glasses now removed.
“This is beautiful, Aaron,” I whispered, my heart racing in my chest.
“But not nearly as beautiful as you. I love you, Sidney,” he whispered.
I met his sexy, hazel eyes and my own eyes began to water. I looked away. I was overwhelmed. This man was so generous and loving and selfless and I was plotting to break his heart.
He reached out and lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “Hey there. You okay?” he asked.
I nodded, sniffled, and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
My husband eased across the strawberry bubbles and moved in front of me. He caressed my cheek and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
My mind was all over the place. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be in that moment. I wanted to want him.
But my wants were not aligned with my needs.
I wanted to want him, but I needed her.
He kissed me again, pulling my body close to his heated flesh. I kissed him in return and our tongues began to dance. Aaron pulled away slightly and began to place a trail of kisses down the side of my neck.
My vision was blurry behind the tears in my eyes. I was there in body, but not in spirit. The kisses that walked a path from my lips to the crest of my breasts should have sent tingles down my spine. They should have made me dip my head back in expectation. They should have opened my legs to receive the gift that was him.
But a rigid indifference was the best I could do. That’s the best I could offer him.
And Aaron didn’t deserve my best. Even my best was not good enough.
/> As he kissed my neck, he stroked my nipples. Teased them as I felt him harden in the warm water, his breathing becoming more labored as his arousal grew.
Aaron moved to kiss my lips again and that when he saw the haunted look in my weeping eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he breathed, his bare chest rising and falling rapidly.
I bit down on my lip and whispered, “Aaron, I can’t do this.”
His eyes narrowed, lust dancing around his beautiful hazel orbs. “Do what?”
“This,” I repeated.
My husband leaned down and kissed my neck, nipping at the flesh with his teeth as he sucked on my skin. He was branding me.
“Just give it a minute. Let me get you ready,” he whispered, his hand traveling down to the juncture between my hips.
“Stop. Please,” I whispered.
He eyed me strangely. “What?”
“I just…I can’t do this with you.”
He moved his hands to my hips where they rested comfortably under the strawberry bubbles. “Baby, what do you mean? I did all of this for you. It’s perfect just for you. Are you feeling okay?” he asked, his tone still tender but laced with his need.
“Aaron, we need to talk.” My voice was only slightly stronger than it had been a moment before.
“Can we talk later? After we make love?” he asked.
I swallowed thickly and met his eyes. “I can’t make love with you.”
The hazel eyes narrowed yet again. “Why?”
“Can we just get out and talk?” I asked.
The placating tone he’d used with me began to fade. Irritation now taking control of his vocal chords. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
I sighed. “I don’t want to do this with you in here.”
His grip on my hips tightened and his jaw began to dance. “Do what? What the hell are you talking about?”
“I need to talk to you. And I need to do it now. Before I lose my nerve,” I replied.
“And it can’t wait?”
My husband was struggling. There were two brains giving him instructions and he couldn’t figure out which one to listen to.